^^^This
Man you must be fun at parties.
Based on your edit it seems like you havent really read anything OP actually said and then just assume the rest, like her job. There are a lot more places then just barn hand jobs that have horse stalls and how do you know her intended career isnt in the horse industry?
If you actually read OP’s responses she wouldnt have to reexplain herself for you.
I havent seen an ounce of entitlement from OP that you claim. Seems like youre just trying to find an issue.
Im sorry but people like you really boil my blood. You have been nothing but your own agenda youre trying to get across.
Im sure if OP wasnt desperate to help get this horse into a better situation she wouldnt be posting here. Theres a lot more at play here than just her wanting to bring her horse home.
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I havent yet. I have been worried about backlash from that. I have been thinking about ways to go about it if I need to, mostly keeping it around dad’s health.
I sent her an add for someone looking for an old pasture horse.
This is the description of an animal sanctuary, not a rescue. A rescue typically tries to rehome horses.
An animal sanctuary intends to keep the animals forever/until they die. They are not common. I would be really surprised if you could find a legitimate animal sanctuary that would just take this horse, keep and feed it forever, and your sister could visit it there. Are you sure? They do exist but don’t typically end up taking in horses that people just don’t want anymore.
What would “backlash” look like? Seems like everyone is miserable already. I’d just be blunt - “Mom and dad are struggling to keep your horse fed and clean up after him. What is your plan for him, because they don’t want to take care of him anymore.” It’s the simple truth.
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If this is ruining your parents’ relationship with you and with each other, it is because they allow it to. If they want to solve this (and they are the ones to solve this, not you), all they need to do is pick up the phone and say, “daughter, you have 2 choices about what to do with Dobbin. He cannot continue to stay here so he either needs to go to a rescue or he needs to be euthanized. Tell us which you prefer; if you don’t tell us, then we will make our own decision and be done with it. His care and upkeep is too much for us. You have until the end of the week, after that we will make the decision without your input. We love you very much, but we cannot continue taking care of your horse.” At the end of the week they make a decision and follow through.
Your sister is not going to make a decision because this is not her problem. She’s on the other side of the country and has washed her hands of it.
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I agree, sister is probably hoping someone makes a decision, because for whatever reason, she won’t.
Oh being in the farming industry I am not a fan of animal sanctuaries for farm animals. The place I sent them does kind of boarder that. They rehome all of their horses that can be rehomed but keep their higher risk horses, special needs, elders etc. They use their permanent residents as cash cows to bring in the donations for. Im not a fan of that but hey as long as they are getting cared for.
Sis is really picky about where her horse goes, she wants him to go somewhere that wont rehome him, she doesnt want him to go to a family as a pasture pet. He cant be too far from home that she cant visit but he cant be too close either because she doesnt want anyone we know finding out. Everywhere Ive sent her never works out… even if I prevetted them to make sure they fit her criteria.
I did end up talking to sis about it and my parents. I was talking to sis about how much he costs her per month which made it pretty clear that she has really no clue what it costs to take care of him. My parents weekly are spending $97 on him. That is without his supplements and his daily care.
She says shes working on it but she expects him to still be home by summer. I talked to both of them and suggested that if I can board my mare somewhere else why dont we both just board the two horses somewhere else for the summer. Both mom and dad love this idea and agreed that it would be the best for all of us. Hopefully both of them follow through.
That’s a great solution! Both of you pay third parties, it’s all fair. Good job! This way if she flakes out, well the BO can deal with her.
I strongly suggest you board your mare at a different location than where sis boards her horse.
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So, who is going to pay for sister’s horse to be boarded? Parents or sister or you? If parents, it could end up being more expensive than keeping him at home, although a lot less work/responsibility for your parents.
I realize a lot is going on here in your family dynamics and I won’t go into something I have no business speculating on.
If it was me-- the cheapest solution for you is instead of paying board can you just buy a few round pen panels and make a good sized pen with shelter and just rotate the 2 horses so each has time out?
That way you can have your horse at home and be there to care for both of them and take the load off your folks. The horse has no say in this and I would try to do right by his care but do it as frugally as you can manage.
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I agree. I am hoping that since my mare is so low maintenance finding a good place just for myself will be uncomplicated but I may just be spoiled with my current place.
Sister would be responsible for paying board. My parents would be using this as a way to wash their hands clean of responsibility
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Thats not a bad idea either. Im sending her to 30 day training for a month during the summer so I only need to get by until then.
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Maybe I’m missing something, but I can’t figure out how a girl who won’t even pay to get her horse’s teeth taken care of, nor chip in to pay for his feed while he sits board-free at home, will pay board at a different place.
I also can’t figure out how a girl who won’t do anything to take care of the horse is “very picky” about where he goes and wants it to be close enough that she can visit (when she hasn’t been home in a year and apparently has no plans to).
I foresee this horse getting abandoned at the boarding barn and the BO having to deal with it. I’m sorry for you, OP, because you’re stuck in the middle as the person who wants to do the right thing, but your sister is a piece of work.
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Maybe, but at least in the parent’s eyes it wouldn’t have been “their doing.”
Trying to preserve the family dynamic, I’d imagine.
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Oh something is definitely going to come about her having to board him somewhere else. Most boarding places in our area costs at least $500 if not more. She’ll learn pretty quickly that she will have to sell him. She says “Its not fair” because shes trying to save up for a house. She has a couple months to find a barn so maybe she’ll get him to a new home before then.
You and me both. Its a joke honestly. She also wants to deliver him to his new home herself so he cant leave until she is home next. She may or may not come home for a month during the summer.
OK, you and you parents realize she’s not going to do anything, right? I agree that parents are trying to salvage by being accommodating, if I were you I’d step back and not get more involved. You’re setting yourself up as the fall guy.
Poor horse.
Edited for -what else?- spelling!
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I have a prediction. It isn’t going to happen. If horse moves, parents will end up paying for it after sister cons them into doing it.
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