What common sale ad phrases make you chuckle?

[TheDBYC]

Because I have sifted through approximately 11 billion sale ads in the past month & need a little levity in my life! The two that always make me snort my coffee & laugh like a middle schooler despite knowing what they’re really supposed to mean:

1. A real 3-ring horse! – What rings? A 3- ring circus?

2. Could go in any direction! – Typically in ads featuring a befuddled looking youngster. I can’t help but think this is supposed to serve as a literal warning that steering has yet to be installed. Or, “We’ve tried this horse at everything & anything & nothing sticks. Maybe you can figure out if he’s good at something.”

[Clover5]

‘Schools 2’ with scope for more’ - I should hope so when the horse is 17 hands!

I also see a lot of local ads that proclaim a horse ‘has drug cattle’ which never fails to amuse me XD

[endlessclimb]

Any ad that says “forward” and “sensitive”. You know that one is a nutter, it’s just whether or not you’re up for it lol

[Foxglove]

“gilting” for gelding, and gentile for gentle. Both from Craig’s List.

[NancyM]

“No buck, no rear, no bolt” is my favourate. Seems to me that these behaviors are dependent on how much torture their next owner inflicts on the horse. Also, sellers that refer to a horse with these attributes as “well broke”. Gee, I thought that “well broke” meant more than that… how about well engaged hind end and responsive to aides? How about at least the first few steps of the Classical Training Scale?

[TheDBYC]

Yup! In ads for western-broke horses near me you see “Broke the best! Everyone can ride him, even Grandpa!” Well, grandpa must’ve been the Wyoming state Bareback Riding Champion from 1965-1980…

[MsM]

“Potential! Finish your way!” on a 12 yo grade gelding

[Abbie.S]

“Broke the best” leaves my rolling my eyes so hard I’m seeing the back of my skull because every. single. one is open-mouthed and hollow, but they’re steady, w/t/c without too much fuss and don’t put up a fight with the rider.

“Has some quirks on the ground/under saddle” is the one I’m seeing a lot, but I also have a pretty low budget for buying horses because I have a good eye and can fix most issues. I’ve learned that phrase usually actually means “horse does stuff that I can’t understand and don’t know how to fix so I just ignore it”.

[2DogsFarm]

“3 good gates”
So… this horse comes with his own pastures installed?

[TheDBYC]

@2DogsFarm

3 good gates ”
So… this horse comes with his own pastures installed?

Very economical!

[lenapesadie]

@TheDBYC

Very economical!

A steal of a deal really!

[Maythehorsebewithme]

“Halter broke” (usually means he broke every halter ever put on him.)

“Experienced rider only” (means uh-oh)

[spotnnotfarm]

This always frustrates me, “Must provide a forever home.” Why can’t you provide the forever home? If you can’t, why do you expect someone else to? My other favorite, which is commonly used my a horse trader near me, is ridden by a 70 year old woman/man.

[ParadoxFarm]

philly (or filly) colt. What is a filly colt?

I see gildin a lot. Gilded. So, is he painted gold?

[ParadoxFarm]

@MsM

Potential! Finish your way!” on a 12 yo grade gelding

Hah, yeah, those 12 years old who are jumper prospects or dressage prospects. :

[Tee]

Ages ago there was an ad in the paper for a brewed mare. I swear, I stared at that for a couple of minutes before I figured it out. A what mare???

[Spudsmyguy]

@spotnnotfarm

This always frustrates me, “Must provide a forever home.” Why can’t you provide the forever home? If you can’t, why do you expect someone else to? My other favorite, which is commonly used my a horse trader near me, is ridden by a 70 year old woman/man.

Along with the ones advertising unsound horses that need a “forever” home. They just want to hand off the expenses of keeping him somewhat comfortable to someone else. Also, the ones that want to “lease” their unbroke horses. Just say you want someone to pay you to break or train your horse.

[Mulligan314]

ohhh the mystical filly colt. That one gets me every time. hehehehe…

[TheDBYC]

@Tee

Ages ago there was an ad in the paper for a brewed mare. I swear, I stared at that for a couple of minutes before I figured it out. A what mare???

Some people prefer their mares brewed strong, I’m told!

The “forever home” for aged or unsound always sticks my craw, too. When I owned a far I definitely took in a few driving horses who were the lightest of light duty. But apparently because I’m the token dressage person in my circles, one acquaintance in particular is forever asking if I want 25yo horses with kind of sort of maybe suspensory ligament issues that some friends of theirs wants to give away because they don’t want to pay for 2 horses for their kid. No. That horse gave its all for that kid for 20 years. You don’t just get to kick it to the curb now that it can’t serve you anymore. Retirement board can be had here at some gorgeous estates for $200 a month.

[OfCourseItsAnAlter]

I hate “For sale through no fault of his own.” I always want to say, “Well, let me be the judge of that.”