I was gifted my mare for christmas when I was 7yrs old. When I moved from mi to tn for college she came with me and I learned very quickly how expensive her care was. I had my 3 yr old son, my no job bf that never paid a bill for the 4 yrs we were together, and my dog. Both parents had already passed, and it was hard, even with the money Id been left thru my parents, between college, board, bills, rent, and daycare it went fast.
I took my son with me to my college classes that I could when daycare wasnt open and then when he started school to save money on babysitters when said ahole bf wanted his time to himself, leaving me stranded w my son, luckily my teachers were soooo supportive. I worked at a bar at night and either my bf at the time, bc it was at night so hed be home anyways, or after i booted him, my friends would watch my son for free bc their kids were sleeping too, so what was one more kid sleeping at their place? I would work till 3 or 4, come home w my son, get him up for school n on the bus, and then head to class.
Honestly, college was 23k a SEMESTER, even w student loans and grants, i had to drop out. I worked weekends at my barn to offset boarding costs, got food stamps to help w groceries, lowered all my bills as much as I could, washed dishes by hand in the sink then boiled a pot of water to sterilize them. I moved to a smaller rental to save money, bought cheaper food and dog food. Sometimes board was still late, luckily I was bffs with my bo, still am to this day.
After I had to leave college, I worked for a const co building a power plant 1.5 hrs from my home. The money was worth it though. I got a cheap car to save gas since my trailblazer guzzles gas. One of my barn friends mom had just sent my friend off to college, and lived across the street from my sons school. She watched him every morning for me n took him to school.He helped with her empty nest single mom syndrome lol. I would drop him off at 5am, be at work by 7, leave work at 5 and and pick him up from boys n girls club by 630. I had to FLY in the evenings to get him ontime. I had a const co as a subcontractor there that their office was only 10min from our home, started working there when the power plant was almost finished, that was in 2011, I still have the job and have gotten a dollars worth of raises every yr bc i bust my butt and work so hard. I met my now fiance of 10 yrs right around when I left working at the bar, and it got easier moneywise but there were still tight times and I still had to work every weekend at the barn to offset board.
After we had my daughter, my mare became toothless so feed costs went sky high, pasture board became stall board, still working weekends but when my dh worked weekends, I would cart both kids to the barn and my son would have to sit in the car n watch her for me while i worked. Honestly, my son came to hate it, qnd Id have to bribe him w sleepovers w his friends, or video game time to get him to even get in the car…
I had bred my mare thinking I could train n sell the foal. This was while I was still in college mind you. He came out the size of my springer spaniel, had to be bottle fed the first 24 hrs, couldnt nurse, had ulcers from not nursing or eating well the first day of his life, ulcers in one eye from shavings, and had to live in a stall for 6mo, and be walked on a dog leash and harness so he couldnt run and snap his legs. His legs were crooked, they straightened out mostly, his back fetlock joint rolls slightly sideways as he walks, to this day!! Oh and his back hooves grow dished in, and he has no sulcus grooves, his frogs are all one piece in the back.
I was in debt up to my eyeballs, still am today up to about my chin but its managable lol. I eventually switched my pony to a friends field so no boarding costs, lived on 5 acres which turned into 15 when the neighbor opened his cattle fences so they could all share n a stream and the cattle pond. My mare I found a smaller barn that offset her board costs since I was buying all her feed, she didnt eat their hay, and even the grass she ate she basically chewed up, sucked out the “juice” from it and then spat back out, leaving it for her pasture mate to eat, so not truly taking away their grass either. I went from paying 500 a mo before my working the barn hrs money was applied, to paying 185 a month plus her feed. My pony they let me keep their on pasture board for 125 a mo since he didnt eat grain and is bottom of the herd so the hay they put out he didnt eat much off, basically just ate the grass and drank water. They had good grass there, he had to be muzzled bc he was getting too fat lol.
After all that, my son is now 18, my daughter is 7, my dh n i bought a home with 3.6 acres, the week before closing, my mare died 
it was almost a relief since she had been going down alot bc of a stifle arthritis issue, i really think she had a bone spur, and she had just went thru an ulcer bout from hell. Care credit paid for her vet and UT vet school bills. Im still paying on that… we were lifting her up with straps and a bobcat and I just finally had to make the call. I was trying sooo hard to keep her alive to finally be on MY land at MY barn, it was always my dream, but it didnt happen.
After her insane ulcer issues and the hell of that, and then going down all the time, my friend from the barn she was at when she had her foal n everything took her back, basically told me its winter, I have a stall, Im going to get her, u stay at work, ive got your mare and ill see you this evening at my barn. She went n got her in a snow storm lol, and my mares bff who was my friends senior mare was still there for them to live as grouchy senior ladys together. They both ate the same thing too so it made sense. She knew my mare wouldnt last much longer and didnt charge me a dime. My mare passed at her place with all of us holding her, her head in my lap, and her senior mare bff standing over her.
Her son is now at our place, I turned him out before starting this and Im sorry that it turned into more of a theraputic, pms filled ramble for me more than much help to op, but my point is, there is always a way to make it work. There were times i would just break down and sob over the fact that the one thing i was fighting so hard to keep was both the cause of my frustration and financial headaches and yet the only thing that solved me being so sad and stressed.
My life woulve been much easier had I just gave up, sold her, gave away my pony as a pasture mate to someone and called it quits w the horses for a few yrs at least, but I couldnt. I had my mare in my life 27 amazing yrs, dad passed when I was 11, mom when I was 19, there was no way in hell I was going to let go of the last thing I had from them, especially when I had my mare longer than I had either parent.
Even today, my relationship w my dh is slowly going to hell, I wonder everyday if hes going to wake up and say lets sell the house n split up, I’m done with everything, hes said multiple times, this house n the barn is your dream, not mine…but I fight thru those bad times because with my debt, i know i would be struggling soooo hard to keep my pony and live on my own w my two kids, well son ab to start college but boys arent men till theyre at least 26 lol. So I still push, and work thru all the bad times so I can hold onto the pony I have left from my mare.
Sorry. You asked for everyones storys of how they make it work, thats my insane life in a morning cryfest nutshell, thanks for letting me vent/share. I actually feel better now than I did when I woke up 😘😘😘
