It sure sounds to me like he’s a better fit for you, and he’s been reaching out to you despite having witnessed some of your reactions. I don’t think he would be doing that if he felt that you weren’t his type of student.
Perhaps casually ask if he’s taking new students?
He’s a pretty competitive trainer so he usually goes for really competitive horses (fast and very very forward), he always describes me as one of his most advanced students so he’ll usually puts me on any horse he has if they need to be ridden but I think he sometimes overestimates my abilities since I don’t mesh well with really sensitve and quick horses. I think maybe since I’ve always had a quick horse, as much as i want a slower one, he think I’ll mesh well with a forward horse but they tend to scare me.
Yeah, I tried to call him today but I think he ignored my calls. Hopefully tomorrow I can find him and talk to him or something and just resolve all of this.
Hmm I’ll try to ask, but not sure how the culture works in other countries but in Mexico equestrians are so nosy so the second i ask him my current trainer is probably going to be so angry.
Well, presumably you are not the only thing he has to manage today.
If you haven’t left him a message already, I’d send a text and ask to schedule time to discuss your plans. He deserves to have time to put his thoughts together and be prepared to present his opinion to you; not get caught off guard while in the middle of something else like talking to his feed supplier or banker.
Just to get it in my head what is your horses name?
Me? Or the OP?
I have several horses…mostly retired and/or useless. 
My horse? He’s named Tenor though my sister calls him Temor 
it’s a Spanish way of playing with his name
That’s the problem; he doesn’t think you’ll leave no matter how he treats you. Find a new trainer!
Sorry I meant OP.
There is another showjumper on here from Mexico with a different horse’s name. The last update she had taken Coth’s advice and had a very sucessful year.
It would be great if you two could meet. I don’t know if she is still on here.
Hmm I’m new to the forum so the only Mexican rider I saw on here was a thread I saw recently but I can’t remember what the name of the thread was. Could you send me the link to the thread? Maybe I know the horse since Mexicos equestrian community is pretty tight and everyone pretty much knows everyone.
But my sister and I talked and she seemed to agree that maybe it’s time to move on since she also is butting heads a lot with our trainer. Like someone said on here, we seem to have outgrown him. She ended up coming home crying today cause she got scared during the lesson by his yelling and intensity apparently so tomorrow we’re talking to our trainer to see what’s going on and end on good terms since he’s really well connected and one bad move can end us as riders.
It is always better to end on good terms.
It takes maturity to realize that the goals are not the same anymore.
Good luck with the conversation!
Oooph. Yes, good luck with that. I do think you should find another trainer that is a better match for you and your sister.
I don’t know how bad your “fits” are, or what kind of behavior you mean by that, but if it’s just a matter of having a few minutes to cool off and gather yourself, that’s really not that different from anyone else.
And no one should be coming home from lessons crying, or crying during lessons. That’s just absolute bull crap. You do this because you enjoy it and you’re paying an ungodly sum of money to do it. If you’re crying during or after lessons, then clearly there is something wrong with that equation.
It sounds like this other trainer would be a better fit. Of course talk to your trainer first. But when you approach the other one, maybe you can tell him about your horse shopping and what you are looking for (to be competitive but on more of a push ride), and see how he reacts and if he can help. On the one hand I get them wanting you to learn how to ride the quick catty horses. On the other hand, that is not what you need right now for where you are having had to deal with a difficult horse. You need a confidence booster.
That said, don’t rule out everything with a motor or they takes you to the jump if they are otherwise the right character, meaning not too sensitive, no tantrums. A confidence booster horse can come in many forms. What matters is if you can click with the ride, feel safe, and have fun! I am a hunter rider and I like to go slow. I am the queen of time faults in the jumpers. But when I was last horse shopping, I explained to one trainer that my horse had been off a lot and he also had some dangerous behaviors and I was rusty. So he puts me on this 1.20m packer first even though it’s not a hunter. And while he took me to the jumps and was a more forward ride than I was looking for, if I wanted to compete in the jumpers, I would have bought him in a heartbeat. He was just a solid citizen who liked his job. And I could ask him to wait for the distance in a snaffle …his default was just to hunt at the jumps a bit more. It was a great way to knock the rust off before getting on the green prospects. I wound up finding another very safe and very tolerant horse who is also naturally half asleep most of the time, which is more my speed.
Dolly Doll your trainer sounds like a macho bully. No one needs that. Blue ribbons are not the only thing in life.
You sound capable of making decisions and need to find a trainer who can work with you and give you confidence. Together you can find your success
It is called something like my horse is trying to kill me. I will go and have a look and see if I can find it. It is probably a long read, however a happy ending for her when our advice was taken.
You do have another option.
Approach the new trainer and learn how to train the horse you already have. It might take more time, however if successful you will be winning again in around 3 years and more importantly, you will have learned how to train a horse and can do it again. Rather than looking for horses to buy to fit you. You can then buy and train the horse to fit you.
Winning next week on a horse you bought does not mean a single solitary thing to any of us.
she stated she is having confidence issues.
Life is too short dealing with this. And can get even shorter when one tries.
It’s a hobby. Why put yourself out like that!
I did retrain my current horse 
I mean I made him way better than he was before and even though he’s much better and if I were the type of rider to enjoy fast and sensitive horses I would probably keep him but he scares me usually when he goes fast and since I did retrain him, alongside my current trainer, I have a bad taste in my mouth from when during the retraining he ended up hurting me a lot and throwing me off at almost every jump so even if he’s going to jump everything now I don’t trust him to actually do it so its sort of become a vicious cycle (not sure if that’s the correct term).
In the end, I do think I need a different horse, I’m sure he can make someone way happier than he can ever make me especially since I’ve ridden other horses that I enjoyed way better and even if they were difficult they didn’t scare me as much as my own horse does.
OP has a horse who is not a good match and she seems to have tried very hard with what she has. She would also like to learn to jump bigger courses, and current horse probably should not jump anything bigger than they have already tried, ever. He needs a different job, and OP needs a different horse to try to reach her goals. It is ok to move on to another horse. But perhaps the top athlete is also not what OP needs. Sure, it would have the ability current horse is lacking, but she needs a certain character at the moment, or the road to overcoming the fear part will be very long.
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