When and how to check in again with sellers after they have disappeared

[OceansAway]

Hello all,

I am in the painful process of trying to purchase a young horse, and it has been trying. Currently, my main issue is sellers telling me they will get back to me with information or a video, and then never hearing from them again. Every once in a while a seller will apologize a few weeks later and say the weather has been bad and they have no indoor, or they haven’t found anyone in to assist in getting a new video, but often I don’t hear back at all. I think this largely has to do with the horses I am looking at and the fact that many people are willing to take the plunge with no video at all or have the means to drive or fly to see the horses in person, and I do not. Just in case someone is wondering, I am not asking a boatload of questions. I usually check asking price and ask for a video first before asking anything else, because realistically if they are out of budget or I find something undesirable in the video, there is no point to ask further questions, anyway. But I usually can’t even get that far.

So my question is, how do I politely remind them about the promised video without seeming like a nag or putting a bad/annoying taste in their mouth? I always struggle with being polite yet assertive, so advice would be greatly welcomed. Thanks so much!

[endlessclimb]

“Hello! I was wondering if you had any update on the video of Pookie? I’m excited to see if he’d be a good match for me. Thanks!”

[Jealoushe]

Be annoying if you want the horse. They will either send the video, say it’s sold or they can’t get the video and at that point you can move forward. It really depends just how interested you are.

[candyappy]

The old phrase " The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Grease" works in many situations. Interested buyers are persistent.

[Lusoluv]

OP, I feel your pain and any of the above suggestions are great. You are obviously a thoughtful person, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking your question. If a seller thinks you are annoying for asking them to do what they promised, that’s on them…not you!

Last year I was in your shoes (Buyer) and the other side (Seller). I had tons of interest in the horse I was selling. I replied to everyone, some of them multiple times for additional questions, video, show records, etc. I know what it’s like to be excited about a new horse and then hear crickets from the seller. I don’t want to be that person. I also reached out to sellers when it was time for me to shop. Some are very professional and responsive, many are not. And in a seller’s market, the “customer service” aspect was lacking more than usual.

Unfortunately, that’s just the way it is. So, put on your armor and don’t take lack of response personally. Keep a detailed list of horses you are interested in, along with your outreach history and go from there. Horse shopping is as exciting as it is frustrating - keep plugging along

[DownYonder]

Some of the reasons why sellers stop responding:

1. They are burned out fielding inquiries and requests for more video, more this, more that, esp. when the inquiring parties seem to be tire-kickers (not saying that you are, OP, but many people are)
2. The horse in question is already in the sales pipeline with another buyer - sales contract, vetting, etc. (And yes, it would be nice if the seller at least told you there was a pending sale.)
3. The horse has a minor/major injury or health issue that just cropped up (or was just discovered).
4. The seller is slammed dealing with other life issues - job, family, traveling, health, even horse-showing.

When I was looking for a dog, I pursued the owner for about six weeks. We had a nice initial discussion but he was slammed with other responsibilities so I ended up calling and texting him several times a week. He finally realized I was really serious and we made the deal. Like CandyAppy said, I was the “squeaky wheel.” LOL.

[OceansAway]

Thanks, everyone! I am the type of person who always comes up with scenarios in my head as to why the person hasn’t responded yet, and tend to be overly lenient, to my own detriment. I’ve missed out on lots in life because I am too passive about things I want or things that are important to me. My mom has preached about the “squeaky wheels getting the grease” since I was probably 8 years old, as I always have trouble speaking up. Since I’m not used to doing it, it’s looks and feels foreign to me. I’m going to bite the bullet though. It’s absurd, because I am begging them to let me pay them, essentially, so I shouldn’t be so worked up

[endlessclimb]

When I start to waffle on stuff like this I tell myself “the worst they can say is ‘no’”. With that in mind, go forth and find thee a horse!

[Moon_River]

Are you literally just asking how much and for a video? I’m wondering if they don’t see you as a serious potential buyer because there are a lot of people who just like to fantasise and collect photos of nice horses. I do know where you’re coming from though, I can see in seconds whether or not I want to follow up on a horse from a video when it’s absolutely nothing like the carefully curated photos/clips that don’t show transitions/only canter on one rein/description! Maybe try a little bit more conversation to get to the nitty gritty of just show me the the video?

[OceansAway]

Not quite. Sometimes I start by saying what kind of riding I do and my experience, and then my goal for said partnership as well. Sometimes I’ll ask for clarification too, if they say something like needs experienced rider etc. It all depends on how thorough their ad is, and if it answered some of my questions already. But I don’t ask for nitty gritty details though, unless I know the horse is within budget and moves that way I need it to move. I don’t have a set formula and kind of let the conversation flow organically.

[Moon_River]

I’m back to people are just weird then

[Scribbler]

Yes. I would ask questions before asking for more video they might not have yet.

OP as far as your overall question there is no hard and fast advice because each seller is an individual and many of them are not professionals and do not sell a lot of horses, so they are also figuring out the process.

Since there is no standard practice and any given person likely doesn’t buy or sell many horses in their lifetime there is no understood protocol.

There could be any reason for not responding as noted above. If they are waiting to see if a seller passes PPE they may not respond but if they just got overwhelmed by messages they may respond if you remind them.

[chancellor2]

For me, I tried selling my horse via Facebook groups (before they cracked down on selling animals). The hardest part for me is that Facebook allowed interested parties to use a autogenerated question–Still Available?
It was incredibly annoying because I got hundreds of them and because I was rather desperate to sell, I answered every single one of them.
So, it could be your seller is also inundated!

[eightpondfarm]

This is NOT in response to you, but because of a recent interlude i had with a buyer…
Maybe you could give less information about yourself in the beginning. Just tell them in bulletpoints what you seek and ask if this is their horse. Seller can then ask you any pertinent questions. I recently had a woman court me to buy one of my mustangs (that i am not offering for sale in the first place) Her information was excessive and boring as heck. I thought: she would overwhelm my horse with fidgety asks and ne ver listen. To top it off, she offered no money…she wanted me to give her the horse for blm price…(ie 125) because she was so wonderful i guess. ugh: people

also: when i was selling a house, buyers would offer a lower than asking price then send a Love Letter about how wonderful and nice they are and how much they deserved this house…but lol…not enough to buy it for my selling price.

I feel that people who come out with their personality/their home for the animal …stuff about THEm at the onset are usually not offering a good price. They want their personal appeal to count for actual money.

[endlessclimb]

@eightpondfarm

To top it off, she offered no money…she wanted me to give her the horse for blm price…(ie 125) because she was so wonderful i guess. ugh: people

What? What a tool of a woman!

[BrokenArrow]

@eightpondfarm

o top it off, she offered no money…she wanted me to give her the horse for blm price…(ie 125) because she was so wonderful i guess. ugh: people

I do a lot of work with OTTB’s and find this is SUPER common with people wanting one off the track. I retrain mine and have an appropriate price on them for said re-training. But people seem to think they’re “rescuing them from a horrid life so they should be free” even when it’s clearly stated they’ve been spelled, let down and re-trained.