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When Can I come ride your horse?

Off Course
#81

Very entertaining

This has been a very entertaining thread… SOOO many great one-liners! :lol:
Since I was about 5yo with my first pony I have been VERY selfish about letting people ride my horses. Of course, if you own a horse you MUST be THRILLED with the idea of allowing people you have just met the opportunity to take Dobbin out for a gallop. :eek:
I have reacted many ways, depending on the circumstances. I have taken pity on the horse-crazed and fed their fever. I have frightened off the rude and obnoxious. And I admit I let my old mare explain to the “John Wayne wannabe” that she was more horse than he could handle (he is family, and he later asked for lessons when he realized he had NO clue how to ride just from watching movies of cowboys;))
Now I explain that my mother-in-law owns the property, and her insurance does not cover anyone riding my horses. Boring, but true explanation.
Some states do not have inherent risk, and signing a waiver will not make any difference, so be careful with that!
I still do the occasional pony ride with my old mare, helmets and appropriate shoes required and insist that a parent walk along beside, holding onto Little Johnny should he slide around. And I do still take personal friends on quiet trail rides. But I pick who rides my horses and who does not. And I complain loud and long about how “crazy and unpredictable” my favorite mount is, and NO ONE ever wants to ride HIM!!! :wink:

#82

WOW. Just wow. I can’t even imagine. We had a pool when I was a kid, and my friends spent almost as much time in it as I did. But they were INVITED to come or at the very least, asked politely in advance if they could come. Not once did anyone who didn’t actually live in the house just pop on over to use the pool unless they were relative. You know, like my sister and her BF! Heck, even my GRANDMA didn’t do that!

#83

I think we are talking about two groups of people here.

There’s the folks who like/love or are fascinated by horses, but have had limited access. These people usually just want to SEE the horses, —pat them, feed them a treat, etc. I have no trouble with that, invite them out, and use the opportunity as a teachable moment: have the kids help me groom, etc. These people are almost always well-mannered and grateful.

Then there’s the polar opposite. The guy who’s been on one or two trail rides and is convinced he’s Eddie Arcaro (yes, I’m dating myself!), who doesn’t know the difference between a halter and a bridle–and BTW, will be bringing the whole family by on your day off.

Rude is rude.
When these people start making noise about riding my horses, I ask them what discipline they ride, and how many years (emphasis on years).
When that produces a blank stare, I (also) use the common misperceptions about OTTBs to my advantage “um, you know they’re ex-racehorses? They can be rather high-strung. Thoroughbreds, you know—like Secretariat?” (that seems to give them a vision of the 1973 Belmont, and they never ask again :lol::lol:)

ETA: Mistyblue–you beat me to the post about the pool. We have one of those as well! Inground and fenced. (we use the “our insurance doesn’t cover that enough” for that).
True story: We built our house before our nextdoor neighbor. She moved in in September. When her kids came by trick-or-treating the next month, she came to our door and informed us that her realtor had told her she could come swim in our pool anytime!!! (we laughed–told her the realtor was delusional–and shut the door. Sheeesh!)

#84

When people I work with express interest in my horses I always invite them to come visit the barn. My non-horse friends and coworkers know they have an open invitation to come out. For people who don’t have access to horses it’s a nice treat for them and they always come with carrots and apples and make a fuss over my horse, which he loves. I guess I work with nice people because no one demands rides or overstays their welcome.

#85

You’ve Got To Be Kidding

My god, even if I had time for this it is too damn boring. I don’t do pony rides. I just say no. With a smile. A big southern sweet no.

[QUOTE=Hoofprince in Mud;3790452]
Frequently people ask when they can come “ride” my horse. Most of the time they don’t act on the suggestion, because their lives are in fact, too complex. However, the odd person does actually show up occasionally to ride the horse. Generally, I have ridden horses who required a certain level of preformance on the part of the rider.
So, I saddle the horse, put a grab strap on the saddle if needed, and using a halter and rope, lead the person up and down the drive, so they can have a “riding experience”, but not actually ride “my” horse.

When they sit on the horse, I usually try to improve their posture so the horse doesn’t have too much trouble carrying them. It is a good experience for the horse to experience how others effect their (the horse’s) balance, with no danger posed to the horse’s mouth. If the visitors have good balance, I’ll lead them through a trail in the woods.

Net result, person becomes sympathetic towards horses, and you have started them on a journey. Not by continuing to ride your horse. But you have planted a seed.[/QUOTE]

#86

I was the horse-starved child brazen enough to ask a total stranger if I could rent their horses for a 4-H project. I’m embarrassed by it now, but eternally grateful that she (and many others) did take me under her wing.

I keep that in mind if/when I have anyone ask to ride my horse or pony. In fact, one of my favorite things is to harness up Bug and take people for rides around the arena. More often than not, I even hand them the reins for a few moments. The look of joy on a city-raised child’s face as they call out, “Mom, look at me!” is priceless to me.

Bug just adores small children & just recently gave a ride to the the child visiting my BO. Both child & pony were smiling

I am lucky, though, that I’ve never had to deal with anyone inviting themselves over. I probably would fall back on the “sorry, insurance won’t let me” let-down.

#87

Don’t be embarassed. There is a lot of difference between what you did as a child and “so, dude, I’ve got Saturday free and I’m coming over to ride your horse. MMk?”

It’s not about ‘sharing one’s toys’ or being stingy. It’s about asking nicely, having MANNERS and not TELLING somebody what your plans are for thier horse.

#88

WOW. Just wow. I can’t even imagine.

ETA: Mistyblue–you beat me to the post about the pool. We have one of those as well! Inground and fenced. (we use the “our insurance doesn’t cover that enough” for that).
True story: We built our house before our nextdoor neighbor. She moved in in September. When her kids came by trick-or-treating the next month, she came to our door and informed us that her realtor had told her she could come swim in our pool anytime!!! (we laughed–told her the realtor was delusional–and shut the door. Sheeesh!)

Have to say I was astounded that anyone would do that too. It was a great neighborhood with many people we became pretty close with and we loved living there. Then in 2 short years people started moving around…not out of the neighborhood but oddly they’d sell their house and move 10 houses down and whoever bought their house probably lived one street over. (a closed series of dead end streets) We ended up losing our friendly fun neighbors and the two biggest PITAs in the area moved in…one behind me and the other right next door. had the next door ones come knock at my back deck door already in their suits asking to use the pool, then getting mad when I said no because “you’re not using it right now and we wanted to live next to a pool!” :eek: So move next to the YMCfreakinA! They were in there twice when I got home from the barn, people behind me were in there once at 11 pm at night…naked. :eek: The kicker was the time we had snow and my backyard had gorgeous birch trees…birch trees “lay down” when it snows but pop right back up again, totally normal. Dumbass neighbor woke me up with a chainsaw…he climbed the fence we put up after they got caught in my pool and was cutting up my freaking tree for free firewood! It wasn’t anywhere near the property line either, it was right outside my kitchen window in the center of my yard!
That was the morning my husband said to me, “I’d like to bring Galopin home, get on the computer and find us a house with acreage. We’re outta here.” :smiley:

Now if kids ask to ride, ask about the horses or even just lurk near the fenceline looking longingly at the horses they get invited right in for a hands on introduction. I was that kid when I was their age. :winkgrin:

#89

Don’t be embarrassed. There is a lot of difference between what you did as a child and “so, dude, I’ve got Saturday free and I’m coming over to ride your horse. MMk?”

It’s not about ‘sharing one’s toys’ or being stingy. It’s about asking nicely, having MANNERS and not TELLING somebody what your plans are for their horse.

You weren’t there when I asked :lol: I’m quite sure I was horrifically rude in a completely innocent/ignorant way. It’s been 27 years and the scene is still burned in my head, including her shocked reaction & rapid poker face. She gently told me the horse wasn’t suitable for me. In fact, the horse I did end up buying died 2 years ago today at the ripe old age of 34. I almost forgot the date.

#90

I am pretty sure the guy who asked me, err, rather told me, wasn’t coming over for a little “meet and greet” with the horses. He was planning me loading up everyone and running them over to the local trails, saddling everyone and taking them out for an hour. If I’m going to do all that, I’m gonig for at least 3 hours, but you can bet their behinds would be screaming after 1. You can also bet, after all was said and done, they’d be off with no more than a thank you and away they’d go while I’m stuck with the clean up. I’m just not going to mention it again and if he does bring it up, I like the insurance angle. It reminds me of a time years ago when I told a co-worker that I had a horse trials that weekend and would she like to come watch. She thought it was in invitation to ride. Uh, no, it was to watch, not ride. She didn’t show.

#91

[QUOTE=Sandy M;3791664]
I think the day I limped in, after he had exploded three strides after I got on him to ride the night before, discouraged THAT. [/QUOTE]
:lol:

#92

Just ignore it. It’s usually just something people say.

If they pressure, just say, ‘Sorry, no’. Don’t get into a discussion of why, just ‘sorry, no’.

#93

I don’t object to horse crazy KIDS saying “when can I ride your horse” because I understand horse crazy kids want to be near horses at all costs and HEY, they are kids, they don’t always understand that type of social manners yet.

That doesn’t bother me (thought it can be slightly annoying when they don’t listen to instructions regarding the conditions under which I will take them for a pony ride etc)

ADULTS, are another matter entirely. It is like saying “so when are you going to let me take your yacht out for a spin”. So my objection to it is not that “they don’t understand horses” it is:

A. Inviting oneself someplace is RUDE
B. Inviting oneself to use someone else’s belongings is RUDE
C. Being pushy about it and phrasing it as an assumption is RUDE

I don’t care whether it’s a boat/horse/car/underwear model/swimming pool/dog or log cabin. It’s still rude.

I had a group of people years ago feeding my employers horses over the fence. The horses on the other side were “kind enough” but you never know with liability and they weren’t the kid-safe horses anyway.

I went out and taught them how to do it first (as they were all in danger of getting their fingers bit off). And then requested that they come see me rather than feed the horses if they were interested in them (this group included a parent) and I would be happy to introduce them.

A few days later, same group, feeding the horses again, not following even the way I showed them how to do it. I went out, reminded them of these things, and they disbursed.

A few days later, same thing. This time I went out, told them that horses can BITE and when you feed them like that you are in danger of getting a finger bitten off, and we wouldn’t want that to happen to your little tykes there, now, would we? The father glared at me and scooped his kids up and I never saw them feed the horses again.

I requested that the employer put up a sign, and she finally did.

But it took THREE requests to get this family to stop a behavior that wasn’t dangerous to the horses but to THEM! Gah!

#94

Just ignore it. It’s usually just something people say. They usually forget about it in about 3 minutes.

If they pressure, just say, ‘Sorry, no’. Don’t get into a discussion of why, because they will have a reason why each argument is invalid, just ‘sorry, no’.

No more for me. Saw one person flip a perfectly stable mounting block and fall under my horse. If my horse had moved she would have been killed.

If you do decide to, be sure your insurance is in order and they sign a release, and your state law signs are posted everywhere on your farm.

If they say they won’t sue you, it makes no difference. Their insurance company can sue your insurance company, and then your insurance company will come find you.

#95

I agree with you and everyone who is offended, is that possible? I know how much it costs and see how ungrateful people can be when you have paid thousands to buy a horse, even more to keep them, drop an easy 1/2 grand on one vet visit and they come and act like they do you a favor. If you are lucky you have someone who really does appreciate it and is willing to help. Then you have a good feeling about loaning your horse. When you consider what you had to pay to ride school horses and were still given rules to obey and now that you have your own other people think that you should let them be ridden for free. I’ve even had someone tell me that they were doing me the favor because they were training my horse for me. I told them not to bother. :lol: Everyone seems to think they are horse trainers. I feel lucky to have good people riding my horses and though they do it for free they also keep them occupied and happy. It’s one of those things that I feel I do get something out of it, but I could charge someone to lease them too. I have nice horses but not for beginners.

I guess you’ve all read the horseless rider, riderless horse thread, it’s a sticky.

From now on I’ll be advertising my horses for a fee, not free.

#96

Hey, I’ve got that same sign! Very useful, I think. Keeps the timid and the crazies away, at the very least. :smiley: So I’ve also rarely had the problem of folks inviting themselves over to ride. I don’t asking is rude, though – they don’t know any better. Most non-horsey folks don’t understand that there’s a BIG difference between the horse they rode when they were 15 at a trail riding place and the privately owned and trained horse in my back yard.

#97

I usually use the “crazy ex-racehorse” excuse…perpetuates the stereotype, I know, but most of the time it works.

She IS off the track (for 12 yrs) and no, she’s not actually crazy, but she’s huge and not beginner-safe and I don’t let anyone ride her anyway.

I do sometimes wish I had an oldster who could pack the occasional friend around…

Surprisingly, the only one I haven’t been able to really deter is a friend of ours. I think he just really wants to try riding, but he just really doesn’t give up…“Really? You don’t think she would be okay for just a few minutes? Even if you were leading her?”

Umm, no. I don’t. eye roll

#98

The response I give depends on who asked and how they asked.

I’ve been asked rudely and with presumptions scattered all 'round like cat toys. Um, no, sorry, but I know of several good rental barns. Yes, seriously, I’m not open to the risk associated with letting your 3 YO and 5 YO ride my horses. Seriously.

Truly horse crazed and deprived? Yes, always yes. Come on down. Those are rare as hens teeth.

I don’t mind the asking…but I do have to measure what I think will be the outcome for all involved. If it’s the former, they can get that seed planted at a rental barn, they don’t need me and would find my place way to pedestrian for their tastes. For the latter- I’m there for them, and gladly.

I don’t know what it is that makes horses seem so available. Do ‘they’ do this about boats, lake houses, beach property? I don’t know.

#99

We give lessons, and therefore have a few kid-safe horses. When people ask to come and ride, I smile and tell them it will be $30/hour. Strangely, no one has taken me up on that yet.

#100

When I get this I tell them a little story I made up but is somewhat true.

I say, “The reason they used to hang horse thieves is not that they STOLE the horse but that they RODE someone else’s personal horse thereby ruining years of training which ranks right up there with other capital punishment crimes like murder.”

It has never failed to end such conversation yet.

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