Menu

Stay in Touch
Sign up for ENews
Subscribe Now

Unlimited access >

Menu

When Can I come ride your horse?

Off Course
#101

Yeah, that. I’ve had that kind too.

I ran a barn that was located inside a public park. Not fun, and honestly, I could have brought in my own horses, but chose not to.

Once, I was sitting on a schoolie waiting for Lauren! to get her butt in gear and get on Woody for a trail ride. I spy a ‘tourist’ petting a police horse. None of the police horses were especially dangerous, but I wouldn’t call them pocket ponies either. I asked the tourist to stop, they could look and not touch. He heard me alright, as he did acknowledge the statement. And continued to pet the horse. Sigh. I repeated the request, to which I got the response “I heard you the first time!” Oh, really, asshat, you did, did you??

I then told him those were police horses that he was petting and if he didn’t understand my request, I’d gladly fetch the Sargent to explain it more fully. Asshat stopped at that point.

Soo very glad that I can keep my horses away from the fenceline along the road AND that to approach said fenceline requires a short climb up a very steep bank.

#102

I live at the end of a dead-end road, far out on the prairie, so no one just “drives by” to disturb my horses. But I do deal with family members who want to ride … and for whom I do not have a suitable horse. It’s really difficult, too, because I want to encourage my granddaughter to ride, and my son(s) and my (soon-to-be) husband … but no one else. Ha ha! I have one very old saint (King) who can still carry kids and the occasional feather-weight adult … which somehow makes no sense to the 200-lb rank beginner “cowboy” who still wants to saddle up … :mad:

Then, I have a 17hh, 1,500+ lb WB whose mind occasionally takes leave of his body. MOST rational people are scared-off of riding the big guy simply by looking at how HUGE he is. But the same cowboy who thinks he should be able to ride King, repeatedly assured me he could “handle” Elijah … bareback! (insert RAUCOUS laughter here on my part!).

Here is what I did to end that. I said, let’s take the big guy out on the lunge line so you can see how well he moves! Then, with absolutely no preparation, I took Eli out to the “arena” to lunge. Now, he was (as I knew he would be) FULL of energy. He was having a blast – bucking and kicking up and farting and acting like an idiot for a few minutes before he settled down to “work.”

Holy macaroni! I have not heard one more word from the cowboy about riding that big boy bareback … or even with my Aussie saddle. What? Your saddles don’t have horns??? Ha ha ha! Nope, buddy. Think you want to tackle THAT??? (Frankly, I don’t want to tackle that energy-bomb, either, which is why I lunge him when he hasn’t been worked for a long time … but I didn’t share that part of the story).

I agree with the other posters here, though, inviting oneself to use other people’s things is just rude – whether it’s a horse, a car, a pool, a fishing pond, or even a basketball goal. I was always taught that you wait to be asked. And, if you just can’t wait because you’re a horse-crazy little kid, you ASK, you don’t just “assume the close.”

#103

When I was a kid, it was the highlight of my weekend to bicycle out to the police barn in Golden Gate Park and pet the police horses in their turnouts…BUT…I always asked permission of the police stable manager first, and he would tell me, “Okay to pet THAT one, but leave the other one alone,” etc. I haven’t been a “kid” for a long time, but I do note that the police stable in Golden Gate Park has, since 9/11, been completely cyclone fenced off and no public access allowed.

#104

Depends on who is asking. Most of the time the answer is “we don’t have any beginner safe horses” (even though we do have ONE!). For the girlfriend of my stepdaughter who had a pretty tough life for a while…we did accomodate. Poor girl deserves a break. For the new higher up in management at hubbys bank it was best to schmooze/ I did for his kids. And the best one of all…co worker of hubby asked for his kids. Hubby gave them the “well ya can help bale hay this weekend” line. Darned if they really DID show up to help stack hay! Ya can’t turn that down…
The Assumers not The Askers are the ones that drive me nuts. My elementary school age daughter: had one school friend. Her family turned up on more than one occasion with all the family members in tow assuming we would be thrilled to give all their kids pony rides. The Child came over to play. In no way did we say we were inviting her over to go riding. The girl came over to play with my kid. Ya know…dress up, ride bikes, play in the treehouse…all the family members would pile out of the SUV and ask where the horse is for them to ride…Emily said we have horses. (Eyes bugged out at the rudeness). I told them Maddie’s horse is 30 acres away and covered in mud. Not getting the hint they asked if we were going to go get her. I just looked at them and said no…I was planning to mow the lawn since Maddie now had a friend over to entertain her. Finally giving up that we were not getting the horse the left the girl…AND her much younger brother. I asked the mom ummmm are you not taking Munchkin Junior with you? And she said no…it would be more fun for Junior to play with the girls. (Ummmm…how about asking if Junior can stay…??) Moral of the story: there are just incredibly rude people out there wherever you are!

#105

It depends on who’s asking and how the request is presented. If they’re sincerely interested, I ask Mama if it’s cool and she decides. If I know the person asking and their experience level, again I ask Mama.

Some of my friends have a standing invitation to ride ours -with us there only!- and others are forbidden to even go tot the barn with me. That was my call though, they don’t listen to instructions at all. It’s like they’re on their own little backyard ponies (no horse experience whatsoever!) instead of our old show horse and trail horse. Mama knows who I’m talkin’ about don’t ya? :smiley:

#106

Depending who asked and how they asked, I might let someone sit on my horse. My boyfriend has taken “pony rides” on him. So has an ex and my friend’s boyfriend. For some reason I get a huge kick out of watching non-horsey 20-something year old guys ride a horse. :lol: My horse is pretty safe, he’s extremely quiet and sensible. But I only let those people walk and I held the reins the whole time. He’s quiet and sensible, but if a leg swings back and kicks him, he will go faster. Probably just a trot, but still. Didn’t need any 20-something year old guys boinging off my horse at the trot.

If a random stranger asked, no way. For one, I just plain do not want to share my stuff - including my horse - with random strangers. But I’ve never had any actually ask. I must have that neon sign over my head, too. :slight_smile:

Co-workers…eh, it depends. Depends who it is and what mood I am in when they ask. I can think of a few who I would probably say yes to, and several I would say a firm no to.

But they too would be riding at the walk with me holding the reins.

Family members? Maybe. Again it depends. My mom, who does not ride, has sat on him. She actually took lessons for awhile, so I was going to tell her to trot, but he scared her. 16.2 hh is awfully big I guess when you’ve been riding the 15 hh school horses. :slight_smile: Her husband, possibly. We all went riding on vacation once and he had never been on a horse before. I was, frankly, impressed with his natural feel. For a first-timer he did a pretty damn good job.

I’m waiting (impatiently :)) for my nephews to get older so they can ride him. The one is 2, and while I see no problem tossing the kidlet on a pony and leading him around with my hand on his back, his mother would have my head. Plus, it would terrify him. We took him to a petting zoo several months ago and he was horrified of the farm animals. :lol: But someday I’d love to stick him up on my horse.

Come to think of it, I’m more inclined to let a non-rider on my horse than a rider! A non-rider slouching on his back won’t hurt him, but I’ve known several riders over the years who you couldn’t pay me to put on my horse. Not a lot, but definitely some.

Really, there’s nothing wrong with saying no to whoever asks. Your horse is YOURS and you do not have to let other people use your possesions, no matter what it is. If you want to, great. But if not, just say no.

#107

[QUOTE=Gray Horse H/J;3805065]

Come to think of it, I’m more inclined to let a non-rider on my horse than a rider! A non-rider slouching on his back won’t hurt him, but I’ve known several riders over the years who you couldn’t pay me to put on my horse. Not a lot, but definitely some.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I don’t mind a beginner tootling around on my mare because they aren’t going to ask for too much or ask for it in the wrong way. I let a very experienced rider, who is way better than me, get on her and she ended up demanding something of my horse that she wasn’t physically capable of giving at that particular time in that particular way, which screwed my mare up for a few rides.

#108

I always say that I LOVE volunteers and I do! Come, groom my horses, spend the day with us and I will be glad to hitch up a mare to drive and teach you and if you want to ride, I will be glad to introduce you to my big girls. I love being the advocate for such a great breed and I love introducing people to horses. I know, the old “ex-zookeeper/behaviorist/teacher” comes out. But seriously, even my big old pycho WB loves pets.

Frankly, I love people and I love people to understand what I love about horses.

Funny thing though, a lot of people…when realizing that I actually mean that for each hour they want me teaching them, I want pay back in time -grooming, caring, feeding, etc, just never show up. Then other people end up spending years with me and my family and become family. I love the teenagers (Ami are you out there in cyperland???). One teen has spent part of her summer/easter vacations with us since she was ten and she LIVES 1000 miles from us in RI! She is my psuedo daughter. Her mother is a hot shot scientist and glad of someone caring for her daughter when she is working. I love that kid and thank my stars that her mama, whom is a special person too, is just way too busy. Thank goodness for volunteers and good friends (and horses)!

#109

There is this girl that I know through a friend… I’m friendly to her but wouldn’t really consider her a good friend. Anyways, she is some what handicapped… I’m not sure what it is but I think it’s something with her hip. And she’s constantly asking me when I"m going to the barn and I"ll tell her… and she’s like “great! I want to come so I can ride your horse!” and I usually just move around the question. But I saw her today and she was like “are you going to the barn?” and I was like “nope but I"m going tomorrow” and she asked again -“cool can I come ride your horse with you?”. I felt bad but I replied “sorry, but my horse doesn’t really like other people riding him- he doesn’t behave too well” (which is totally true. he HATES other riders).

Now, I have nothing against her- but it does get kind of annoying. And I know she really wants to ride so I try and encourage her by suggesting some places that might have horses suitable to her needs… but I know my horse and a) he hates other people riding him (whether they normally ride or not), b) I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her riding him and c) we tried pony rides on him and he didn’t do well. If I had a horse that I knew I could trust and would be suitable for her… maybe- but I don’t want to risk that with my gelding.

#110

Lol. I am totally the other way, when people say “Cool, you have horses”, I always say “C’mon out!”. Usually they come once, see how much work it is to get the horse, brush the horse, get the tack, tack up the horse, untack the horse, brush the horse again, put the horse back out, put the tack away and sweep up and they don’t ask again. I think a lot of people are surprised how much there is to ‘riding’.

My one friend hadn’t ridden in forever, so I invited her out for a trail ride in the fall when the leaves were gorgeous. Well, we were going and going and I was so happy to be giving her a super, nice long ride, when she said “Umm, is this going to be over soon?”. Lol. I guess not everyone shares my enthusiasm. :slight_smile:

#111

I was reminded yesterday that I also have a co-worker who does this, only she phrases it, “I have to come riding with you sometime,” or “I really need to get time to go riding with you.” I guess she’d done some riding when she was younger (I have no idea how much), but really? I don’t even recall her asking - just “I need to go with you sometime.”

Problem is, I don’t really like her.

#112

Next time some asshat TELLS me they’re going to ride my horse, I just might let 'em!

…

Bugs me like it did when I taught… You get someone who can barely hang on to steer straight at the trot, yet they’re whining about not jumping, jumping rails, jumping 3’ oxers… 4’ courses, etc.

I’M JUST TRYIN’ TO KEEP YOU ALIVE, NUMB NUTS!

#113

oh it’s such a hard topic this. I have always been in the ‘come and learn’ camp - even if people invite themselves. I am a firm believer that if people can understand horses it helps all of us. I do show them the realities of sh*t shovelling and mention several times that I get up at 4:45am to do my 3 horses before work.

Normally, people either turn up once, or I get a regular paying client but 2008 was a whole new experience.

Early 2008 a work colleague invited herself to ride my horses (she was my superior and lived locally) so I said that was fine. She admitted to being quite inexperienced but she and my 17.1hh eventer mare got on famously. Honestly, my mare smiled almost as much as Sara when she mastered something. Sara though got pregnant…

THEN…

A friend of mine who has been living abroad for 8 years has moved back near me and decided she wanted to ride my horse. In these 8 years she assured me she had developed riding skills and loved horses.
I did the usual ‘how much riding have you done recently?’ A: lots
What kind of riding? Trails at w,t & c
Have you got a hat? No, left it in France
etc, etc.

Told her my horse that she would be riding would be 17.1hh and a competition horse and that we would ride in the arena first. She said she had ridden TBs and would be fine on a trail ride. I said ‘arena, then trail’…

ACK - it all went wrong. went to catch horses from field: she couldn’t manage halter or lead effectively (my mare is never allowed to graze her way to the stable, yet she was dragging my friend all over the place). She couldn’t tack up - but said the barn she rode at had always done all this for her.

WHY did i not listen to my instinct? She’s the kind of person who loves her big dog, but allows it to pull her off her feet in the park when it chases after things on the leash - arrrgghhh, so I assumed she was just being as useless with MY horse and that the barn really had done everything for her.

Anyway, taught her to tack up; explained mounting and what to do when she moved off. So she gets on and gives my TB mare a mighty kick in the ribs :eek::(:eek: To her credit, she didn’t fall off, but at the first opportunity she got off :o

All she could do (she worked in France as a ski instructor) is say she felt really embarrassed and now she knew how people who believed they could ski felt when they set off down the black run and realise the 3 lessons on the dry ski slope weren’t quite enough…:winkgrin:

We are still friends (just). but I have learnt from my mistake and will definitely think twice. Thank goodness we didn’t set out on a trail and we were in an enclosed space is all I can say.

#114

I have a co-worker who has been after me for years. I’d almost consider it except: she weighs over 300# and I really do have a horse with a bad back.

Yeah, I don’t get it. Not yours, don’t touch.

#115

normal people?

‘Normal people’ don’t realize there is a difference between pleasure horse and sport horse.
And they don’t understand that the only predictable thing about horses is that they are unpredictable.

One time offenders I don’t mind at all. Usually I just say, well, we do have one pleasure horse. Come on out! We live 70 miles from here one way.
We love to show off the farm too so we really are more then happy to have people out.
: )

I did have a million time offender now EX fiancé.
Let me just put out some one liners:

Can I ride Boomer? (My UL event horse)
Well if you get OTTBs to retrain then I can ride them while you ride Boomer?
Well if I can’t ride the OTTB then why can’t I ride Boomer while you are riding the OTTB?
I really like Hope (2 year old Andaulsian I was working on). Once it’s time to break her can I sit on her?

Every question was always answered with; if you want to learn to ride we can buy you a great pleasure horse.

He really wanted to ride one of my horses so I warned him and put him on my retired bright red Trak/Arab mare that was a bucker. And he KNEW she was tough. But men think they can do anything. I gave him a helmet and had him sign a release.
He never asked to ride her again.
BRAAAHAHAHHAHAHAAa!!

There are only so many ways to say no before you have to be rude and slap them over the head.

#116

I think 99% of people who ask this MEAN well. They don’t get that a horse is not a dirt bike. They see horses as a fun recreational activity and assume anyone can get on and ride and moreover that people would want to share. The same people who ask this, if they had a dirtbike and talked about it etc. wouldn’t be offended if you replied “sounds like fun, when can I come out to ride your dirtbike.” I think VERY few people mean to offend-- you mentioned a hobby you enjoy. They like you and think maybe you’d like to share the hobby with with. They probably don’t mean to “DEMAND” even though it comes off that way. They are enthused and want to communicate genuine interest because to them it really does seem like fun and probably a rare opportunity to ride.

And if you can… why not? I am blessed to have a wonderful bombproof pony. Many of my coworkers and friends have brought their kids to ride him. Why not share him?! It’s very low impact and frankly he loves the kids. They usually have a ball, we have a picnic and their mom/dad bring food and we all sit down and eat and then the kids get their pony ride. Some of the kids enjoyed it enough that they later took lessons, some are still riding. I think it’s fun to share him.

Now, if you don’t have a suitable horse, you don’t have a suitable horse. There’s nothing wrong with replying “sorry co-worker, I would love to have you ride but unfortunately I don’t have a suitable horse. Maybe you’d like the phone number for ye old trail riding place.” I can’t imagine someone would quibble with an honest answer like that.

#117

Funny story. Well, funny to me.

We had 8 horses and leased a farm that was not on the same property as our house.

My mom was the primary horse care taker. Dad also rode, but he didn’t do the work.

Mom and Dad were getting divorced.

Dad had always had a girlfriend or two and didn’t try hard to hide it…and this time was no different…except that this time, girlfriend had a couple of kids.

So. One cold but muddy spring day (shedding season), girlfriend shows up at our house with kids in tow saying that Dad told them he’d take them riding.

Mom was mortified. But…there were 2 relatively excited little kids standing before her and she WANTED to be the bigger person. Problem was, the kids were in white coats, nice shoes, nice clothes. NOT the kind of stuff you go to the barn in the spring wearing.

So. She took 'em. And they were covered in mud and hair and ready to go in about 2 min. Dad’s GF was PISSED. Wanted mom to drive them home because they were too dirty to get in HER car.

LOL. Ah. The memories.

#118

BuddyRoo- Oh.My. :eek:

Your Mom was a saint! Dad and his gf…not so much :no:

#119

These stories remind me of a friend of mine, a really lovely person and quite athletic. She went to England for a few years, and according to what she told me, has a very horsey sister in law who does a lot of dressage and foxhunting and would take her trail riding and they galloped, etc. She also took riding lessons when she was a kid so I get a mental picture of someone who is a somewhat competent rider.

So when she gets back, she wants to get back into riding. She comes to my barn. Wants to go for a trail ride and I say she should have some lessons first. She takes a riding lesson from my coach, is put on a calm, calm horse, can barely steer and is terrified to do a slow jog in the indoor!

Afterwards, she tells me that she really just wants to trail ride outside and gallop, etc., etc. She still does not understand that she needs lessons.

I think with a lot of people, horses just do not compute.

#120

Yeah, don’t you know, horses are machines that you can put away and ignore when not using. I still get people asking me if I have to feed them every day! WTF? I usually ask them if they feed their dog every day and then the light goes on. Riiigggghhhhhtttt, they’re animals, they need to eat!

This co-worker just saw some pics of a horse I used to have back in the 80’s and knew I had horses now even though I barely talked about them, just assumed they were dead broke dude horses, which they are not, and told him I have nothing suitable. That didn’t stop him from trying to set up a date and time. :rolleyes: I swear, the next time I meet anyone, I will never mention the fact that I have horses, just 2 dogs and 2 cats.

Get your Digital Subscription here - only $29.99 / year

Subscribe here
See gift options

Sign up to our monthly newsletter!

By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You may also receive promotional emails from The Chronicle of the Horse. You can opt out at any time.

Copyright © 2023 The Chronicle of the Horse