When Do You Know Its Time?

[Belmont]

I worked in Vet Med for so many years, and I can’t even believe I’m writing this. However, since it’s my dog - it’s different and all logical thinking has gone out the window.

To make a long story short, my sweet, adoring, “ride or die” “emotional support animal” has a mass, likely on her heart, and it is causing causing fluid build up that is pressing against her lungs. Her days are numbered, but we don’t know how long. It could be days, but it could also be months.

We’ve elected not to do any further testing, ultrasounds, etc. We did a chest tap & radiographs yesterday to confirm the suspicions and help relieve some of the fluid off her lungs. They took off 200mls before they had to stop. We were sent home with gabapentin and told to let them know if we make a decision to let her go, but the doctor was also positive about her breathing and attitude post-chest tap.

She didn’t want to eat this morning and was super sleepy after her AM gabapentin & the chest tap yesterday. However, she is breathing so much better and seems so much more comfortable. Her little nub never stops wiggling all day when I look at her, but she always does that so I don’t feel like it’s a fair sign. She finally ate around lunch after she had a long mid-morning nap and seems to have a pep back in her step. She even went to the barn with me. They called today and offered me some Lasix, a Chinese herb, and to just check in.

I don’t feel like I know when it’s going to be time. I think I could do end of life care at home with the meds and keep her comfy, but I’m scared she will go down hill while one of us is at work and due to her condition, it won’t be a painless or quick way to go naturally. I don’t want her to suffer because I’m being selfish, but I also want as much time with her as I can. I can’t even tell anymore if she won’t leave my side because she knows I’m devastated (which is not unusual for her) or if it’s because she doesn’t feel good (also not unusual).

So how do you know when it’s the right time?

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

Generally, when you start to ask the question, it’s time (or almost time). When you start to worry about what will happen “if you’re not there,” it’s almost time.

The Lasix can really do wonders for a while - I had a cat with heart failure who responded to it well for several weeks. But she did reach the point where it no longer worked, and that was when I let her go. And that was a very sudden thing - she was on the max dose, but didn’t respond to it overnight. So as you know, the risk of that happening is very real.

If she doesn’t respond to the Lasix, is the chest tap a feasible solution for the long term?

[Lusoluv]

I agree that when you start asking yourself (or others) if it’s time…it probably is. Animals don’t know about the future, only the here and now. My mantra is, " I never want my pet’s last day to be their worst". I put my dog down Feb. 2020. My husband thought I did so a bit prematurely. I had already been asking myself for 6 months, “If it was time”. My vet is great and so empathetic and caring. When I made THE appointment, she said she would honestly let me know “if it was time”. I left the appointment alone and terribly sad, but also relieved that I did right by my girl. My heart was heavy, but my conscience was not. I also didn’t have to euthanize her in a moment of crisis. Everyone’s approach to this difficult step is very personal, but this was mine…

[phantomhorse]

If you are asking the question, it’s time.

Lasix and Yunnan Baiyao (assume that is the herb you were given) will give you time to make an appointment and spoil the heck out of her until then.

The final act of love is taking their pain and making it our own.

[red_mares]

When I wondered if I was going to get stuck in the house with a dead cat in an upcoming snow storm, I knew it was time.

[beowulf]

Im so sorry Belmont. I just had this discussion with my SO. One of the last of our “foster four” dogs is being PTS tomorrow for a very similar reason.

When you have to ask, is when it is time to examine making the call. When they are older it becomes a question of, how much better is it for them to eke out a few more months or even a year, if they’re not feeling well during it? Is it truly in their best interest to prolong the inevitable?

I said to my SO tonight when we were talking about it, that the worse I ever felt about an euthanasia was for a dog I waited a little too late for. He had DM and good days and bad. While we scheduled the appointment “early,” it just so happened the day of his appointment fell on a bad day. I wish his chapter ended with him going to town on a Kong ball with his favorite treat inside, not being poked and prodded while he felt miserable and sick. It’s always better a week early than a day late. I agree that you don’t want their last day to be their worst.

It’s so hard. Lots of hugs for you and your dog.

[Kyrabee]

I had a similar scenario. 13 1/2 yo beagle with a nasty locally invasive sarcoma on/in his upper palate. It was evident that the tumor was invading his nose. When he got excited, he could breathe in fairly normally but had to breathe out through his mouth. This all evolved within 2 weeks post diagnosis. The thought of him suffocating or having the tumor erode through a blood vessel (he had already had some minor bleeding from it if he had a coughing spell ) while I was at work was just unthinkable.

99.5% of the time he was totally happy and eating with gusto but the situation was not going to improve. I chose sooner than later to save him from getting to the point of catastrophe and a horrible death.

{{{HUGS}}}

Sussn

[MunchingonHay]

I am sending you love and light in this difficult time.

I do agree with the above posters. I knew it was time for my old man, (13.5 yr old) when he fell down the stairs. (there is more to it, but that was the last straw). I had been watching him for over a year and started to tell my DH to make every moment count with Riley about 3 months before the tumble down the stairs.

I have noticed there is a differnce in asking youself internally the “when is it time” question to staying it out loud. When you start to say it out loud or prepare others; its close.

We are all animal lovers and most of us feel a day to soon is better than too late.

I have a 7yr old female dog (Ridgeback, so a big dog) that just yesterday I started to notice grey hairs on her sweet face, last week I noticed her walking slower, not following me around as much, last month she started waiting at the bottom of the stairs instead of coming up with me… my internal clock has started with her. She is not ready for me to say it out loud yet.

I am making every day count. You should too. Get her ice cream from the drive through when you go past Dairy Queen, split your burger with her; savor the time

[candyappy]

If you were home or had her with you all day my answer would be " take it day by day" but since it sounds like she is home all day alone, while everyone is at work I would do what needed doing so that something awful doesn’t happen.

You want her last days to be good ones, for you and her.

[keh]

I’m so sorry. Lap of Love has a quality of life assessment. They have lots of resources on their site. They were also easy to schedule ( 2 days out) for my dog when it was her time. Hugs & peace to you.

[pony_grandma]

I’ve had to learn to speak up early to give my family members some time to process. Then we are pretty much at that right time together after they process.

Animals clearly start checking out if it’s not an explosive ending. The body starts to shut down. I slept on the floor with my dog his last night. We decided to take him in when Gramps got off work but he didn’t make it that long. A big regret on my part.

[beowulf]

I just wanted to come back with an update, if it helps you OP. Our dog had a peaceful, uneventful passing at home last week. While all of us are grieving, I feel a little more at peace with this end than many of my others. Most of the euthanasias I’ve attended have been emergency euths, so that may factor in. But, there was something nice about knowing that this day was not his worst. It just so happened he was bright and happy up until his last second, and that’s worth something even if we’re all sad by the absence he’s leaving behind.

His favorite thing was snow. We got slammed with our first real snowstorm all winter right after. I feel sorry he missed it, but SO says it might be a sign. He’s buried right next to my very special horse.

Here he is last winter in his element:

Hugs to you OP, it never gets any easier.

[MunchingonHay]

I am so sorry Beowulf. He was a beautiful boy. And you can see the joy in his eyes.

[Belmont]

Thank you all for your replies. They truely were so helpful, and Beawulf… I’m sorry about your boy, but I agree - the snow was from him.

We’ve had some good days together, and she went to McDonalds and got her favorite treat this weekend. She is slowly getting worse, even on the meds, so we’ve elected to end her suffering before it gets to bad. We go tomorrow afternoon, and I already can’t imagine life without her. We found out some really big news this weekend, and I just can’t believe she isn’t going to be around for it. I’m just devastated, but I know its the right decision.

I’m going to have her cremated, and I want to do something special with her ashes - like some sort of jewelry or keepsake that is better than just a wooden box on a shelf.

Has anyone ever done cremation jewelry or anything of that sort?

[MunchingonHay]

I am so sorry Belmont.

Its never easy.

You asked about ashes. I have attached two photos below. The purple and black one is Kip. I said goodbye to him 13+ yrs ago and while he is stored in my closet, I finally found something worthy of his ashes. Below, is Riley. He went over the rainbow bridge in June.

I got them both from Spirit Pieces:

Unique Cremation Jewelry and Cremation Glass Art

[StarPattern]

I have a senior citizen dog here, who we have started wondering when her time will be. I’m fairly certain she’s going blind and is either deaf or selectively hard of hearing - she can always hear when we call her for dinner, but she’s slow to respond if we tell her its time to go outside or to get off the bed. She’s also a little senile - she sometimes gets turned around in our living room and thinks it’s proper to wait at the wall to be let outside. It’s endearing, but also a little sad because she was quick as a whip in her younger days. We’ve also blocked her off from the basement because sometimes, she misjudges the stairs and I don’t want her to fall.

But she still plays with the younger dogs. Not as much, but every so often, we watch her bouncing around, nipping at them and trying to coax them to play.

I just make sure to never leave the house without kissing her and telling her how much I love her, just in case.

[Djones]

Our 13 year old siamese presented with sudden onset abdominal swelling and lack of energy. Diagnosed with right side CHF. Started on Lasix Monday afternoon and as of this morning she’s worse. Almost no appetite, a little confused, and loss of interest in us. The vet said to expect improvement by Friday at the latest. I’m not expecting that’s going to happen.

Our plan is to take her in Friday afternoon and he’ll put her down. If I can’t tempt her with treats and such between now and then we’ll call it sooner.

She’s a funny old crab pot. But for 13 years she has quietly followed us everywhere all over this forest. If we took a walk we had to plan for Phee.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

I’m so sorry. Hugs and jingles you and your sweet Phee.

[MunchingonHay]

@Djones Phee is beautiful !! I am so sorry for your Phee.

[Djones]

Thank you, all. She was ready. The Lasix couldn’t touch her situation, the vet suspects something more sinister than CHF caused the real distention of her abdomen. At 13 and suddenly skin and bones, I presume it was a cancer or tumor. Whatever it was she’s no longer suffering.

She’s buried in our little sunny spot with dappled shade. I’m sure the CDS will fill her spot soon enough.