I have a friend who worked in the corporate headquarters of a big company. The first thing she did when she retired was stop coloring her hair. Gray hair was not consistent with her corporate professional image and she had been coloring it for years. So, yes, apparently there are still some places like that.
2 Likes
OP I hear ya, as many of us do. My husband and I are both making six figures with no kids and showing is out of the question unless we both gave up absolutely everything. I make a lot of choices that allow me to ride, I cut my own hair, have never had a manicure or a massage, I buy only used clothes if I buy them at all, drive a 10 year old car, husbands is close to 20 years old, all my horse stuff is used (including boots, breeches and even helmets) I pack my lunch, rarely go out to eat and I teach a couple lessons at a friends barn and ride her green ponies for some xtra $$. It’s easy to focus on all of those things and think I should be able to afford this but there’s two things I have to always remind myself. (And I want to be clear, it’s very hard for me to not feel bitter/jealous/butt hurt but I work very hard at it!)
-
I just listed all the things I give up but not what I don’t give up. I own a home that should be a good investment once we fix everything that’s a problem. We could have bought a condo or kept renting a small apartment. I choose to eat really well. I eat lots of local organic produce and sustainable seafood. I go to live music and ski some. I contribute to a 401k. The point there is, if I gave up all those things to show would my life be better? I suspect not. I suspect you are in a similar situation.
-
The amount of money it takes to show and just ride is genuinely insane and it’s hard not to compare yourself to the 1% when that’s who dominates this game. It’s hard not to read the “amateurs like us” section on COTH about adults qualifying for jumper finals and want to be them. But as an estimate, at $2200/month for board/training/shoes etc plus plus 6 weeks of showing at say $3k week (with hotels and everything that might be low but I’ve never been to an A show) comes to $56k per year. Now, taxes etc come out of your paycheck so typically in a HCOL area you’ll only take home 2/3 of that. Which means that comes down to spending a $66k salary alone on horses. Plus amortize whatever the horse costs and a surprise vet bill or two, it’s practically a six figure salary for the horse portion of your life without anything else. That’s not for a mere mortal, and braiding your own horse ain’t gonna change that. And it’s crazy, and that’s ok, and it’s ok to want it anyway and good to know you’re not alone where you are.
17 Likes
I had a short stint where I dyed my hair, just for a couple years. I got tired of it and the chemicals bothered me. I work in a corporate environment and at least at my company, this kind of thing doesn’t matter. I recently got hair extensions as my hair is thinning and we put in MORE gray to make it fun and not have to dye anything. I see gray being more and more embraced thankfully.
3 Likes
whoa, whoa, easy. I should have been clearer- client facing work should be a bit more put together. In my case, we’re managing over 3B in client spend annually. I am not suggesting a coat and tie and pantyhose and fancy dresses. I am suggesting that a poorly lit setup while you’re in a ball cap and your camera is looking up your nose is not good form when you’re trying to explain the value of our business.
That’s what I meant, and what I should have said.
We are very much a healthy culture in my world- My team knows my chicken’s names and we all share dog and cat stories and the like. This week I insisted on meeting a 5 YO dancing around in a Pokemon costume. I joked in my interview that it was my first barefoot one. We’re good.
2 Likes
Picking up above on the idea of moving to a lower COL to work from home. Lots of people have been doing that. But they need to pick places with excellent WiFi infrastructure and they want to pick places with some recreational or cultural amenities. And this has meant skyrocketing real estate costs in places like Colorado.
Most truly rural lower COL still have spotty internet, in the US and Canada too.
3 Likes
Hello satellite internet. Not quite as convenient as commercial high speed internet but totally works for many.
Please send me those links! I know about Fundis, but it comes out to about twice that amount that you mentioned.
THIIIIIIIIIS. My costs are way down working from home, and not just the cost of fuel because I’m not commuting (though sheesh, I’m so glad I have a Prius with the cost of gas these days.) I work on a treadmill desk, so my work uniform is leggings, running shoes, a black athletic tank top or base layer, and, if I’m on a call with a client, a cardigan or blazer. And it means that if I want to go for a run during lunch, like @Darkwave, I can take the blazer off, go, fix my hair, put the blazer back on, and be presentable for my next call.
For me, this all works out advantageously despite the need for more self-provided tech and the cost of internet. Where I grew up, in the sticks, the enormous fees for an internet provider who would give me the service I needed might make it cheaper to drive to an office!
4 Likes
I have WFH solely since 2016 and maintain a regular schedule as if I were in the office. My job sadly isn’t too conducive to taking off mid-day to ride and come back to work, but my 45 minute drive is also prohibitive. So - I set my hours to leave at 4 on days I can ride and settle for that!
5 Likes
Ancedotally, SO has a friend who is WFH, and got real push-back from his employer when he wanted to change locations for the winter. They tried to claim that there were payroll and tax issues with a different state/location. This may or may not be true from the standpoint of UE and state tax withholding, depending on the state of residence and the length of time you would be there. Not sure if it was the employer’s way to discourage a move to a resort area for an extended period - but something to ask your employer about before getting too excited about a long distance move to a lower COL area.
I think I’ve commented on this on other threads, but my dad was a CPA - he had a couple NFL guys as tax clients and it was hella complicated - they were taxed on the location they played each and every game - so away games would have whatever state (and potentially local) taxes taken out of their pay. He’d have to file returns for every locale for the NFL guys to get the tax refunded.
4 Likes
It’s a real thing.
You will get payroll/HR pretty cranky if you tell them that you want payroll split between multiple locations. We’ve just done it where I select my spring/summer/fall home as my home base where I’m hired and “based”, but I’m pretty forthcoming that from November-March, you’re gonna see palm trees in my background.
The only time it can be a sticking point is if you’re supposed to be “in-territory” or if it’s a state where tax implications or employment laws (ie California) are something that the company was specifically looking to not hire in.
3 Likes
Some states have what’s called a “Convenience Tax” that’s basically intended to discourage workers from living away from their place of work for their own “convenience”. The end result is that you could very well end up paying your local taxes (based on where your residence is) AS WELL AS any taxes demanded by where your company is headquartered.
Massachusetts even went so far as to pass a law during covid that basically means that if you’re working remotely out of state (like because of the pandemic), you still owe Massachusetts taxes on that income even though it was earned in a different state. The reasoning being that you’re only working out of state because of the pandemic and it’s “convenient” for you - not because your employer has any real need for you to be working in a different state.
I have been working remote/ from home since 2003 or so. I am in tech and my degree is in engineering, though I work in software now.
My current team is pet and child friendly. Not all are. Also, we tend to enjoy and cheerlead people working outside or otherwise using their life well, as long as it feels like they are present for the meetings. For myself, I’m fine with hearing/seeing kids or pets in the background. I am less okay with people trying to take a meeting while driving, unless they are only there to listen, or unless it’s a special occasion. My particular team tends to work with cameras off also, which I prefer, not just because it means I don’t have to worry about how I look but also because I find jerky video to be distracting. Screenshare is better than pixelated talking head for me.
Yes, I’ve been specifically asked to bring a sheep or pony to the meeting, and everyone knows if they hear a rooster on the call it’s mine.
Some workplaces use the remote status to ask you to work longer and weirder hours, but not all do. Mine is flexible and very human and sane. I could make more money elsewhere but I like my coworkers and I like my work and I have a view from my office of my horses out at grass, which is really all I ever wanted from my life. I also have been able to be involved in my kid’s school and care for my elderly mom.
My workplace has gotten even better at this over time. In addition to providing our hardware, including my second monitor, they also provide an annual allowance for internet bills and small accessories.
It’s good to have a specific, comfortable workspace, whatever that means to you, and if there are multiple people trying to work from the space, you may need a larger and more comfortable house than you’d need if you leave all day and only come home to sleep.
I think it’s really important if you work remote that you work out a way to be very present for your coworkers when you need to be - ie if there’s a meeting where you need to be actively participating, you need to be somewhere comfortable and without distractions. For your focused work, you need to be able to focus, though not necessarily at the same times you’d need to in an office environment.
It’s good to have a situation with clear and measurable goals, so that everyone can agree what you’re expected to do and that you’re meeting them, rather than just the vague, “Oh, Mindy is here all the time, she must be doing good work.” This is especially important in an environment where there is a mix of remote and in person workers, or where you are very dependent upon favorable reviews or impressions to maintain your position, get bonus pay, or get a promotion. Ask your supervisor to make those goals with you, ask for regular feedback and one-on-one meetings, and then nail your marks. Communicate early and often if there’s a reason they can’t be met or if you’re stuck or flailing on a task. If your workplace uses something like slack a lot of that communication will be right there in writing, and take notes in your one-on-ones too.
Remote work can be nice for introverts but to be successful you MUST communicate. It helps keep you accountable too. Reach out to pair with someone when you get stuck. Make sure you are available during core hours and responsive to your team members, even if you have to tell them you’ll be with them in an hour or two.
9 Likes
there is the 183-Day Rule which most taxing bodies adhere
2 Likes
As other posters have noted, the OP’s challenge is that she is somewhat short of both time and money.
I’ve done horses all the ways–on the cheap with self care, for more $$ in a more full-training environment. I could only do it the first way when I lived close to the barn and had predictable work hours. Once I had a demanding job and a long barn commute, I couldn’t have peace of mind without help on both care and riding from people I could trust.
There is a lot of good advice on this thread, including suggestions about asking for a raise and finding a half-leaser. (The half-lease solution has worked really well for me in the past!)
But I should also say that in addition to the DIY horsekeeping and the full care boarding, I also had 10 years of no horse ownership sandwiched in the middle. I was lucky to have a good local network that allowed me to pick up rides on the weekends. But during a building phase of my career, I was glad to be able to save both time during the work week and a lot of money that way, without sacrificing my need for horse time. Sometimes, it was naughty ponies and rehabs, and sometimes it was nice young horses whose ammy riders were busy with kids’ birthday parties. I was even able to find my way to a horse show or two every year that way–not enough to really compete seriously, but enough to scratch the itch.
I know catch riding arrangements can be tough to find, particularly in high COL areas. But I wonder if that could be another solution that could get you through a few years while your job is bonkers and you’re paying down debt.
1 Like
Yep, if you work in consulting you file in every state where you work; for me it was anyplace I worked a minimum of a full business day. My company gave us an annual stipend to pay to have our taxes done because it was so complicated to file in the number of states that we had to file. Even when I was in my home office, I was the only one based in my state and it was definitely work on their end to take care of the paperwork to set me up as an employee there.
We only had US clients, but occasionally had staff that wanted to work abroad. At one point, HR leaders didn’t want to allow that anymore and they came back with “concerns” about what their liability would be if an employee was working somewhere abroad and injured while at “work” so put a stop to it. It was a bit irritating though because it had been allowed for someone who worked from a European country and then not allowed when it was someone I managed who wanted to work from his family’s place in South America for a month.
As for crossing state lines:
My employer uses an HR service which makes this much easier. The service can act as a large employer group for insurance and payroll and so it’s not such a big deal for us to have say one employee who lives in Idaho and one who lives in Missouri. Even within California, health insurance companies don’t write policies in every county, so it would be a hassle for my company if they had to have insurance for everyone based on where I live. I can’t imagine a small business with one person managing HR or payroll having to deal with each state individually for taxes and insurance otherwise.
1 Like
Finding a half-leaser can be hard (why is it hard on BOTH sides of the transaction?) but if you can find one, it can be a really good way to have a nice horse more affordably. If you are in an attractive situation, I would try spreading the word outside of your barn - maybe you can find someone who is skilled and not currently able to ride who is not in your barn. Even just getting yourself out from under the time obligation to ride those days or to pay someone to ride can be a help in a situation where both time and money is dear.
1 Like
This is the story of my life. I do it with riding too. Pulls hair back, checks polo to make sure that drool, peppermints, etc aren’t on the sleeves or camera-facing parts… and away we go!
2 Likes
Aftershokz are a game-changer.
It sounds weird, but I think they’re much safer than shoving airpods in closer to your eardrums. Also, they stay on (I have weird ear canals and no airpods or earphones ever stay in for running, etc).
The idea sounds weird from its description, but we have 3 pairs and LOVE them. My husband wears his everywhere. If I was a trainer, it would be my go-to… I always cringe when I see their phones tucked into their helmet and chinstrap. So much easier.
2 Likes
