When even a six-figure salary isn't enough to compete

[canterplease]

Not a question, just hoping others can relate

I’ve been riding in the H/J world for over 20 years. I’m in my late twenties and I live in a city in one of the more expensive parts of the country w/ my partner and no kids. I own one nice mare who I’m hoping to compete in the A/O hunters this summer.

Most my younger years, I groomed and was a working student and had a little support from my parents so that I could ride and compete here & there. This is the first year I’m fully financing a horse on my own—worked my a$$ off to be able to do it and always knew it would be tricky, but WOW is it harder than I expected.

Board + 1 lesson/week + 1 training ride/week + farrier + chiropractor + supplements = over $2200/month. That’s BEFORE showing. At a barn that does some A shows, but mostly local shows, where paying this much in board is considered more than reasonable.

I make a six-figure salary yet I still have to do 15 hrs of freelance work per week to afford horse plus (astronomical) rent, plus bills, plus student loans, throwing what I can into savings and maaaybe have enough leftover to feed myself.

I would move to a cheaper area in a heartbeat, but my partner of three years can’t leave because his father is disabled and he needs to stay nearby to check in on him every couple of days.

The real kicker is that, between the two jobs and the time it takes to get to the barn (45+ mins one way, usually stuck in traffic, at least 4-5 days per week), I have almost 0 hours remaining for, you know, sleep… or sanity. But the horse is also the one thing preserving my sanity.

The $ stress is real. The work-life balance stress is realer. But I can’t imagine living without riding, and the cost to lease a horse around here is just as bad if not worse than owning (if you want to be able to compete). How does everyone do it!?!?

sigh

I suppose I can always cut the cost of rent by moving into the stall with the mare…

Edit: I had no clue how much this thread would blow up and just wanted to extend my heartfelt gratitude to this entire community.

Your advice and shared experiences have made me feel way less alone (and less crazy) and have provided valuable perspective on the bigger picture—especially that taking a break from horses isn’t a death sentence, and that not showing for a little while (despite pressure from barnmates) is totally okay.

I feel so lucky to be able to have horses in my life at all, and a really fun one, at that. I plan to ask around about a half lease and work on strategically cutting back the extra work…and have not ruled out getting a different job! Choices are tricky, horses are tricky, but “where there’s a will there’s a way.”

[pony_grandma]

Part of your problem is the discipline you’ve chosen. Eventing 2-3 weekends in the spring/early summer and 2-3 in the fall is more affordable. We’ve done it -sans trainer- for years.

[SuzieQNutter]

I am not in your country and shoot me down if you wish, but hunter jumpers is mainly only in America and more than one hunter jumper on this forum has swapped to dressage or showjumping and learnt that they don’t know much and have been spending too much.

For me: I was not allowed to own a horse after my father died. My horse was sold at the auction of the farm with me crying on his back. About 6 years old. That was in primary school in, Western Australia.

We lived in Victoria for a little while and had 2 tbs from a rescue. They went back when we moved to Qld in a caravan. From there we rented a house. Occasionally mum and I shared a lesson and I went to Holiday camp for riding.

I did not buy my own horse until we had our own property, I was now 15yo and in high school.

We joined pony club, which means a uniform that everyone wears so money does not mean anything. You are only allowed to ride one horse. One horse is only able to have one rider on a day. We were taught eventing and horsemastership.

We competed at other pony clubs 3 weekends out of 4. Dressage, Showjumping, One day Events anything that was happening.The 2nd Saturday was an afternoon muster. The 4th Sunday was a whole day muster.

We could ride around the nearest State forest for free. We had our own jumping paddock and sand dressage arena.

We had our own instructor come to us once a week.

This was without and nowhere near a 6 figure sum. Nowhere even near half that. I wish.

So for you. Find where you can afford land. Even out here in the boondocks we have retirement villages and nursing homes. Move your father. Bring the horses home. Find an instructor who you love who will come to you.
Learn to really ride so you can do any discipline. Save after you have spent on essentials if this means leaving or selling your horse to start with, then so be it.

Spend on what you need, not what you want until you are able to spend on what you want.

[OnDeck]

Not sure if I agree with the idea to move your SO’s father to a place where you can more easily afford horses…

Would it be a possibility to move your horse to a more low-key barn, one that doesn’t show at all perhaps? That may allow you to enjoy your horse without stressing so much about the money. I’ve never tried to afford horses in such a high COL area but I can relate to finally having the horse and still not being able to do what you want with it! You are not alone!

[StormyDay]

That’s a lot of stuff being done.
I also couldn’t afford to show if I was paying 2200 per horse per month.
My total for keeping 6 is under $1500 a month.
Now, I don’t know your mare or you, but do you really need a training ride every week? Does your horse really need chiro (I know i might get flamed for this but many leading vets feel it’s complete bull crap, but maybe you have seen an improvement)? Look at your supplements; are they working? Are they the best bang for your buck? Does your horse need shoes (or were you just told she does)? Can you find a cheaper barn?

These are all things to think about. But again, I don’t know you so I don’t know specifically what maybe you could cut out.

I did know a woman who was always complaining how expensive horses were. It was to the point she was using a credit card to pay for vet appointments because she couldn’t afford it. Turns out she was paying for 4 shoes with pads, chiro, massage, PEMF, a very expensive supplement, and stall board at a place with an indoor. The horse was 3 and not yet under saddle. Her last horse, who had retired, required all of that so she just assumed her new one would too.
Not saying that’s you, but sometimes we think more is more! When in fact our horses don’t care.

[paw]

Alas, it can just be that expensive, depending on where you are. Options include finding a private barn (one without an in-house trainer) for less money, moving closer to the barn (which will mean your partner will have to travel farther to see his dad), or resigning yourself to the fact that A show expenses are probably out of reach for you for the moment.

It sucks, but on the flip side, there’s plenty you can do with your horse that doesn’t involve showing, or at least showing at A shows (which have gotten so expensive that it’s hard to see that they’re worth the money, even if you have it). Maybe there’s a movement where you are for quality one-day (non-USHJA) shows that you could join?

[aekowner]

Me and a few friends have moved our horses over to a boarding barn. Board is $500-800 a month where we are. We haul or horses over to have a training session once or twice a week, $60 a lesson. It’s about a 20 minute drive, which is very lucky for us but I wouldn’t have an accurate estimate on gas money for you. We haul ourselves to shows which cuts the hauling fee our stable would have charged us. On a monthly basis (not including shows) I am saving about $1,000 on board & training. It may not be feasible for someone who is as busy as yourself but I thought I would throw it out there.

I also agree with Stormy, I would ask yourself if things like monthly chiro appointments are worthwhile for you.

[atl_hunter]

I was also paying $2200-$2400/mo all in and traveling 45 min to 1 he to get to the barn. This is in the Atlanta metro area.

Nearly every barn here is this expensive. It’s not because it’s a hunter barn as people upthread have suggested. It’s the cost of the land. It’s not cheap. Sure, I can find more affordable barns to the south or east of the city but then it’s impossible to get there regularly. The closer in to the city or the north burbs, the higher the board.

When I lost my horse to colic and bought a new one, I ended up keeping him with the selling trainer who has a multi-disciplinary approach that I simply can’t find here in Atlanta. I take lessons at home in Atlanta, keep my horse in full training out of state, compete regularly in rated shows with my horse and even show rated from time to time on my home lesson horse and it’s STILL less expensive than here. I’d love to bring my horse home regardless of the cost but there is no solution. People will say, “Do it yourself. Haul to a trainer.” But living in a city like this where you drive 1+ hours with no traffic to find affordable options mean you don’t have time to drive to the barn, then drive 20-30 min each way to a trainer for lessons. You could pay a trainer to come to you, but then these facilities don’t have jumps or proper footing.

Would it be possible to half lease your horse to someone in the barn? Perhaps an expense lease to make it more attractive? Or a 1/3 lease if you prefer more riding time? I’ve had a few friends do that to bridge a financial gap.

I would also agree with the poster above to not move your FIL over a horse. He has a circle of providers and caregivers in place and there’s no need to upset that balance and destabilize his situation.

Best of luck. The struggle is real but I do always remind myself that this is a first world problem that I’m super privileged to have.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

As someone whose grandmother and mother both had a period of very debilitating illness before passing, I can’t imagine asking a partner to move a disabled parent to better accommodate horse showing! And I know you feel the same way, OP, just agreeing with the other posters. Additionally, moving may also mean longer commute times and thus less riding and supervised care over the horse.

Right now, it seems like your best options are either to 1. switch barns and disciplines if that will save on care (you can ask around, even watch a dressage show or part of a horse trial, if that interests you) or 2. find a barn that doesn’t show at all that’s reasonable and reputable (which can be difficult, however, since sometimes in very expensive areas, small private barns can have very variable quality).

Leasing could also help with the costs, but that’s less riding time for you, and it would have to be to someone you trusted who wouldn’t put additional wear and tear on the horse.

Finally, I’d ask if the barn you are at is really worth that, value-wise, in terms of the training and care? Can you trust the barn if you are away a few days? Do you feel you and your mare are really improving with the training? Are the recommended supplements, shoeing, and chiropracting making the promised difference? Are you and your horse happy, or are you just super-burnt out?

[Renn_aissance]

@atl_hunter

Nearly every barn here is this expensive. It’s not because it’s a hunter barn as people upthread have suggested. It’s the cost of the land. It’s not cheap. Sure, I can find more affordable barns to the south or east of the city but then it’s impossible to get there regularly. The closer in to the city or the north burbs, the higher the board.

Yup.

I’m in the mid-Atlantic, but the cost of living and horse-keeping are significant. Land is expensive, and horses take a lot of it, between the fields they live in and the fields that grow their hay. I also make a six-figure salary and it would go a lot further in, say, Melbourne, AUS.

I am not willing to compromise on my horse’s care, so although I could find less expensive or closer places to keep him, they’d offer a different level of service I still wouldn’t have enough time to make up for myself, or they’d be out of the service area of the vet and farrier, etc. And I pay a lot of money to the horse’s excellent farrier because I can do that or pay a lot of money to his excellent vet.

My horse is now retired, but if I wanted to show once a month and pay for training, I could take one or two lessons a month. I’d also be going to one-day local affairs, doing my own shipping, braiding, and care, and I might well be going without a coach. (It depends on what you struggle with. If you’re good at home but it falls apart off the property, you probably need to pay your trainer at a horse show, because that is what you need training in. If you’re a relatively seasoned pair you have more options. It does take money and practice to get there.) Training rides have never been part of my equation, but I’ll defer to the OP on whether they’re a necessary part of hers. And I fully acknowledge that in high COL areas, board can be a loss leader, and horse owners are required to have a lesson or training package because that’s the only way the farm can operate as a business, so she may not have the option to discontinue those services without actually increasing her costs or moving to another barn.

It’s worth reevaluating the supplements, but my horse’s medication and supplement budget is equivalent to, uh, about 15% of my mortgage… so I know that sometimes you have a high cost in supplements because your horse doesn’t do well on the daily diet the farm can give as part of the cost of board, and you’re buying your own flax or additional Vitamin E or whatever. But, if you can find the ingredients for less expensively in other products, sometimes it’s worth the time to pre-pack baggies with 5 things instead of scooping out Platinum Performance.

Honestly, OP, what’s jumping out to me is not the cost of horse-keeping, but the fact that you live in a high COL area and you’re also paying student loans. If there’s any way that you’d conceivably be able to adjust your expenditures to have less fun now but pay those down faster in order to re-allocate more money to horsekeeping and enjoying your life later on down the line, that might be something to consider. Particularly as horses rarely get less expensive as they age. Mine is coming 27 this year. See above about his prescription budget.

[Bristol_Bay]

Maybe you need to do a deep examination of your priorities and finances.

If you sell the horse and put that $2200 each month towards paying off your student loans, where would you be in five to ten years?

Do you want to marry and have children? Horses may have to wait.

Can you find a place for weekly lessons to get your horse fix while you get yourself in a better position financially?

I agree with others that stopping the supplements and the chiropractic is a good idea. We want the best for our horses, and are often unable to see any benefit from these things but are afraid to stop in case there is.

My trainer tells me at least twice a month that I need to start showing. I finally had a come to Jesus talk with her about it. I’m flattered that she thinks my riding is show-worthy, but I can’t afford it. Going DIY is tons of work that I don’t want to do. Horse shows involve a lot of waiting, dust, and eating expensive crummy food. So I said thank you, but please stop asking me. I just don’t have that kind of income, and I just want to enjoy my horse.

You may have to defer your dream a while, but you’ll get there.

[Texarkana]

@pony_grandma

Part of your problem is the discipline you’ve chosen. Eventing 2-3 weekends in the spring/early summer and 2-3 in the fall is more affordable. We’ve done it -sans trainer- for years.

While true, this isn’t merely a simple choice for everyone.

Not everywhere has an eventing community. Plus not every person wants to ride XC.

[Ponyplusaninch]

I can commiserate a bit here. While not quite at the same monthly fees, it’s inching closer to that.

What scares the pants off me a bit is knowing that if anything goes south in my career, the horse would likely have to be sold because I can’t keep up with my area’s rising COL AND his COL. Savings would only get us through three months at this point.

The one thing I’m really grateful I did that has made things a little less anxiety inducing was NOT buying/owning a horse until my student loans were paid off. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t painful and stressful to pay off the loans in 3 years, throwing every bit of money at them. My plan is certainly not for everyone. But no debt apart from the mortgage really freed me up so I could own a horse and take on unexpected expenses without total panic.

[hoopoe]

I have to agree about priorities right now. Renting and paying student loans. This is not the time for a big horse dream. Paying down loan, building savings for a home.

Personally I would move the horse to a smaller facility and just focus on flatwork and pleasure. Or, do what I did, stop riding all together.

I stopped and restarted twice in my adult riding life. In the end I was earning 6f as well, but I decided in my late 50 s there was a whole world to see

Do an exercise for a month. Write down every penny you spend for a month. Is there anything you can trim. Coffee, lunches out etc boy that adds up

[Ruth0552]

I feel your pain.

Is doing A shows really worth it? Could you be satisfied by just doing smaller, local shows? That would mean you wouldn’t need as fancy of a horse, you could board somewhere a bit cheaper, and the shows wouldn’t cost nearly as much.

As others have suggested, doing a partial lease on the horse, or swapping disciplines might help. I know barns outside Boston that are less fancy, or eventing instead of HJ, are cheaper.

Do you really need 1 lesson and 1 training ride per week? Are the chiro or supplements actually doing anything?

Part of your perception of what a reasonable cost is based on who you are talking to. If you only talk to other HJ people that are doing some A shows then your barn might seem very reasonably priced. You should price out some other situations that are different from your own.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Also, I know you say the horse is the one thing preserving your sanity but…it sounds like you have a stressful job to support horse costs, plus a part-time freelance job, plus a partner who is dealing with a ill parent, plus a long commute to the barn and some self or barn-imposed pressure to show. And you have financial obligations like loans and rent that you can’t eliminate.

I would sit down with the numbers and calculate how much time you really have to enjoy riding and how much it’s worth it. Like Bristol Bay said, maybe finding a cheaper option like taking a lesson once or twice a week at a closer barn, and putting the money away might enable you to work less, save more, until you can afford a different situation.

I understand if it’s very tough if you love your mare, love the hunter discipline, and she’s not the kind of horse who will flourish in a rough-style barn. But if that’s the case you may need to evaluate if keeping her for what might be very short, stressed-out rides a week is worth it. Like, how often do you ride, and when you ride are you always thinking about your two jobs and the traffic coming home and how late it is?

[NancyM]

The situation you currently find yourself in, is short term. Things change, life changes. It’s true that when you have other things on your plate, your horse showing career may be on hold or reduced for a while. But the great thing about horses is that it is a life long pursuit, and there is no age limit on participating. It’s OK, you can come here and air your current complaints though!!! Many of us can understand your pain.

There are ways to participate in the industry with less capital expense. Some of those options may not be available to you right now, but they are out there. It sounds like you are boarding at a high end, full service facility, in an expensive market. It doesn’t have to be that way permanently. You may not have grown up “doing your own work” in the equine industry, but it does make things far more affordable if you learn how, and “make it so”.

There are many paths that lead to being a horseman, and having a life filled with horse fun and competition. I’ve never paid $2200 per month for board for a horse, and am lucky to get a couple of clinics a year… no full time “trainer” or “coach”, no “training rides” available. I show alone, I ship my own horse, I feed and care for my own horse both at home and at a show. When my horse needs braiding, I braid my own horse (I have shown mostly jumpers, so don’t braid much). “Supplements” in a horse’s diet are largely useless… I don’t use chiropractors, also useless IMO if the horse is ridden correctly and has a healthy lifestyle, I groom my own horse, and can find soft tissue problems if they occur. I use vets sparingly, there aren’t many around here anyway, and since I’ve been looking after horses under top veterinary supervision for over half a century, many things I can handle adequately alone. I don’t get my horse’s joints injected often- I can think of maybe three times in the last 55 years with both racehorses and jumpers. Don’t get sucked into a bunch of things that are offered that you will have to pay for and have questionable benefit. I’m often adequately successful in competition- I only show regionally, not at top venues on the continent- I can’t afford the money or dedication of time for that these days (though I did get to compete at Spruce Meadows at in my youth). I understand that this reality is pretty distant from yours, and may not be your “cup of tea”. My point is… there are other options, when they become available for you.

One tip for you… do not take on any “debt” for anything that is not an absolute necessity, even though you have a good income. Only buy what you can afford to pay cash for. Monthly payments on uneccessary debt will kill you. Young people these days seem to think that buying things “on time” is a necessity and commonplace. Don’t get sucked in to this practice.

Good luck, and hope to get to a few horseshows this summer!

[SweetMutt]

Have you considered finding a half leaser for your mare? It would cut your costs, give you back a couple days a week, and progress her training with the help of someone else’s dime and watch.

[StormyDay]

While I understand the comments of prioritizing paying off loans and such over horses, I also know that for some that’s not a reality we can do.
I personally am alive today only due to me being involved in horses. It was the only reason I got out of bed in the morning; if I didn’t have them I would not be here on this earth today.

I look at my finances and yeah, if I didn’t have the horses life would be easier financially. But mentally they’d probably need to put me in a psych ward.

So, my point is don’t feel pressured to do something that you know you can’t mentally handle even if on paper it makes the most sense.

[RedHorses]

@SuzieQNutter

I am not in your country and shoot me down if you wish, but hunter jumpers is mainly only in America and more than one hunter jumper on this forum has swapped to dressage or showjumping and learnt that they don’t know much and have been spending too much

What do you think the “jumper” part of “Hunter/Jumper” means?