when he started bucking...

[Maria_Floreriam]

I would appreciate if you read the whole entire thing before commenting. It’s a long one!

Today I had a really frustrating experience at the barn that made me lose a lot of confidence and faith in myself.

I had a self-practice session (no instructors/coaches), and the horse that I was assigned to was known to have a temper. He was one of the few horses that kicked, and the only one that I know of (at the barn) that bucks.
I was a little nervous going in to it, but he is a small little Haflinger so I wasn’t too worried.

At first, he was listening ok to my leg aids, but he refused to stay on the rail. I’m not sure if I made the reins too short and was pulling too much on his mouth, but I think we both started to get annoyed at each other (I’ve never ridden him before). Other than that, he was doing fine trotting and even a little without stirrups.

However, when I tried to canter him, he started to be more stubborn. This wasn’t a big deal to me, but over the course of about 10 minutes, it turned into him putting his head down and basically dragging me around the ring.
Don’t get me wrong, I tried really hard to make him listen and used my leg on him. But I could tell that he was becoming angry. I think part of it was that he was lazy and just wanted to get turned out (it was the end of the day).

And then he started bucking. Right after the first time he bucked, I was a little freaked out. I immediately got off and just led him around the ring for a few minutes. After both him and I seemed to have calmed down, I got back on. However, once I applied more pressure with my legs, he would just stop, or jerk his down and walk straight into a jump and just stand there.
At that point, I most likely was doing something wrong, but it is too late to tell now. What made me feel worse though, was that when I asked the instructor in the ring for help (she was teaching someone else, and had her back turned when he bucked), she simply thought that I was overworking him and that he was tired. But I had given him a lot of time to walk and he had been basically doing nothing for the past 10 minutes.

She asked me what was wrong, and I broke down crying. I’m just a crier - when I’m angry and frustrated, I cry. I was also afraid of him bucking again. but she told me to relax and try again, and just let him buck.
So that’s what I did. When I pulled a little on his rein and gave him a small kick, he would just buck. And there we were, in the middle of the ring, bucking and bucking. He was a small horse, so I didn’t fall off (thankfully).

Through this I was crying on and off, and I couldn’t think clearly. I probably should have gotten off, but I was also pretty angry. I was determined to make him listen to me, but I think this just made me more tense.

After a lot of bucking, I collected myself and relaxed a little. And very gently I was finally able to make him trot a little around the ring. And after that I got off and called it a day.

But I cried the whole way home. I felt (and still feel) that I had failed and that I would never be a “good rider”. Personally for me, horseback riding has been such a long dream of mine that I tried so hard not to give up on. But today made me wonder - what if i’ve put in all this work to find out that I’m just an awful rider and that I just wasn’t cut out for horseback riding? I just feel like I’ve failed myself, that I wasn’t able to overcome the test that this horse gave me. All the riders I look up to always seem to be perfect, and I feel like I can never be like them.

So my question is - have any of you ever felt this way? And did I really fail this test? And more importantly, what should my attitude be the next time I get on a horse?

[tbchick84]

@Maria Floreriam

After a lot of bucking, I collected myself and relaxed a little. And very gently I was finally able to make him trot a little around the ring. And after that I got off and called it a day.

Your assumption that you accomplished nothing is incorrect. You relaxed and got him moving forward. That is a win. So what, you had a bad ride. A good rider learns from the experience and rides better the next time. You learned today that anger has no place or value in riding. Once you had your emotions under control, you were able to take command of the situation and get the job done. Being assertive in your riding is fine. Being angry never ends well, ever.

[OAD_Cowgirl]

Little horses buck A LOT harder than big ones, and they’re harder to stay on. Big horses make a better looking buck, but they’re easier to stay on. I’m married to an old saddle bronc rider. And he says, if you didn’t fall off, you accomplished something. Everybody has bad days and bad experiences, but don’t give up. Ride a different (nicer) horse next time, and just try and enjoy yourself. Some of those ponies can be real pain in the butts. Good luck!

[toady123]

It sounds like you would benefit from having an instructor when riding these more challenging mounts. There can be learning in these moments, but it can take someone experienced to talk you through it. The horse you were riding sounds like he knew he had your number and just pushed the buttons. Some horses are just like this, and you just need to learn the skills to manage it.

I’ve been riding for 25+ years and still have times when I am stumped sometimes when specific issues arise. Riding is a sport where you never stop learning. Continue with lessons on good safe horses and you will continue to build your skills.

[Wonders12]

@Maria Floreriam

So my question is - have any of you ever felt this way? And did I really fail this test? And more importantly, what should my attitude be the next time I get on a horse?

More times than I care to admit.

Not at all! It was a solid B.

Benevolent dictator.

First, there were so many red flags before you even got to the incident. Riding a horse that is know to have an attitude and buck for the first time alone without instruction wasn’t exactly setting you up for success. The only “fail” was getting off when he bucked, but I cannot fault you for choosing your safety over his training. And at the end of the day, you were successful at ending the bad behavior and rewarding the good bahavior. Great job!

We all feel like terrible riders at times. At least I know I do. But you need to remember the HUGE win here: you rode a difficult horse through a bucking spree! You have the skills to do that! That’s a huge milestone in any rider’s career and a big stepping stone in your riding. Focus on that.

I am not an emotional rider, so I cannot give you tips for handling that better. I’ve cried on a horse twice, once when I was terrified during my first ride after a bad experience, and once when I thought I was going to have to sell my horse. (It had nothing to do with the horse or the ride.) But once you’re able to control your emotions and ride forward just like you did, I suspect you will be very successful in handling some naughtiness.

All of that being said, there is nothing wrong with deciding you want to be the type of rider who only rides more forgiving horses. You can still be a “horseback rider” and not ride the ones with a naughty history. However, if you do want to ride a wider variety, I think you are well on your way! Those “perfect riders” are neither perfect nor have they always ridden that well.

[Limerick2017]

Poor guy sounds extremely sour. How many different people ride him each week?

[eclipse]

Please do not take any offence, but looking at your previous posts you are a fairly novice rider (please correct me if I’m wrong). So I’m just wondering why this barn has you riding on your own and not in a lesson? You recently posted, for example, that you are unsure how to pick up a proper canter and were also having issues at the trot… either this horse is confused at the aids yiu were giving as you yourself aren’t sure of the correct aids and/or he’s possibly sore and/or sour (especially if this barn lets green riders ride on their own a lot). It really sounds like you need a more structured lesson program to get a) your confidence built up and b) your riding skills to be at a level that you can , at least, give correct and solid aids to get the horse to do the basic stuff (walk, trot, canter) . But, good for you for at least staying on and then managing to at least go forwards again eventually

[Sparrowette]

@OAD Cowgirl

Little horses buck A LOT harder than big ones, and they’re harder to stay on. Big horses make a better looking buck, but they’re easier to stay on. I’m married to an old saddle bronc rider. And he says, if you didn’t fall off, you accomplished something. Everybody has bad days and bad experiences, but don’t give up. Ride a different (nicer) horse next time, and just try and enjoy yourself. Some of those ponies can be real pain in the butts. Good luck!

This^^^

And never be ashamed of “sittin n stickin”. Sometimes just staying on, is the real accomplishmennt. He finally gave you some trots around the ring. Smile and call it good.

[silver_charm]

Agreeing with @eclipse . While it’s good to get feedback here, most of your questions should be answered by your trainer in lessons - the ones who know you, know your skill set and knowledge base and can tailor their answers to where you are at mentally/physically. CoTH is great but it’s not substitute from quality hands on training, especially for beginners still learning to sort out the whole riding business. I would suggest a new trainer is in order.

[findeight]

I think the only failure here was on the barns side for putting you on a completely unsuitable horse/Pony to ride by yourself. That’s violates a very basic concept in developing riders-don’t scare them or put them on an unsafe horse. Unfortunately they put you on an unsafe horse and scared you-and charged you for the privilege. Shame on them. This helps your riding because…?

Not in any way your fault but when you get rattled and get off, you let the horse change the subject and actually reward the bad behavior by getting off. That’s exactly why some of these school horses get to be such stinkers and, really, miserable rides for novice riders. Barn KNEW that one needed a strong rider able to correct and discipline such bad behavior. At this point, that’s not you. Most iof us have been where you are, it’s fine, nothing personal here at all but you were overhorsed by those you pay to teach you and provide a safe, suitable horse.

From this and your other posts, it sounds like you would do better with another instructor who could answer the questions you’ve had to come on here to get answers for and, must importantly, keep you in safe situations. Don’t be afraid to switch barns/instructors for a better situation. Barns are a service business, not your friends, you will get better service for your money elsewhere. You could try a barn in another discipline too, learning basics is pretty much the same no matter the tack.

You can always give a general location and ask for recommendations on here. We’ve all made mistakes selecting barns and trainers, the bigger mistake is staying after you realize they aren’t helping you.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

We all have bad rides. Focus on what you have learned and move forward.

A few other red flags popped up for me. Like a lot of Novice riders…I think you need a better plan for your ride. I suspect you did too much trotting before cantering. You said you did without stirrup work before cantering. How long were you riding him? End of the day…in his Turn out time, I would have planned a short ride. You need to look at your watch. Make sure you don’t do too much for too long. I would canter a lot sooner in a ride. So walk, trot a bit and then canter and maybe trot a bit more. Not wait until the end. Be aware if the horse seems tired. And listen to him a bit. He definitely got your number. But was also telling you he was tired. When he turned into the middle. I would correct him…then end shortly after you succeeded.

Just more things to think about. Start your ride with a plan. Perhaps run your plan by the trainer and make sure it is fair for the horse you had assigned. Then be ready to adjust your plan depending on how the horse feels.

good job staying on him…stop over thinking it. And aim to have a good ride next time.

[JenEM]

I agree with both @eclipse and @findeight --you sound like a novice rider who was not set up for a successful ride by your barn. Learning to ride a horse/pony like this might be part of a rider’s learning curve, but that should happen in a safe, structured lesson, not on the rider’s own time without supervision or help. A barn should not be putting a rider on a mount that they haven’t ridden before for free riding. And IMO, a habitual bucker shouldn’t be part of a beginner lesson string to begin with.

Where are you located, generally, OP? Perhaps folks on here could make a suggestion for a better program for you, that would help build confidence and skills with safer mounts

[CPL713]

I’ve been riding for roughly 20 years and I still feel like a horrible rider/horse person at LEAST once a week, so take heart. :lol: The worst thing, in my opinion, is when someone thinks they know more than they actually do. So good for you for recognizing you need help and seeking it out.

Without knowing anything else about your situation, I would also gently suggest you seek out a different barn and instructor. It does sound like you are a fairly novice rider, and in my opinion, a novice rider needs a lot more structure and feedback than it sounds like you are receiving. One reason is so that you are not practicing incorrectly and developing bad habits in yourself or your mount, and the other reason is so that if something like this comes up, you have someone there who can coach you through it.

Riding on your own can definitely be fun, but if that is going to happen, they need to at least give you a creature that won’t give you major issues and they also need to give you “homework” - a plan, or at least a few things you know you need to work on and how it should feel when it’s going right, so you have a sense of how you’re doing as you practice. I wouldn’t personally have allowed one of my students to ride on their own until I was extremely comfortable with their knowledge of how to flat a horse alones, and I wouldn’t have assigned them a tricky horse like it sounds this one can be.

Please don’t be so down on yourself. You sat out the bucking, and you ended on a positive note. Well done! If this happens again, my advice is that it is MUCH harder for a horse to buck if you can keep their head up a little and make them go forward.

[TheHotSensitiveType]

Agreeing with everyone else that that barn set up you up for failure! This is not a horse they should have assigned you to ride without an instructor (and even that is questionable…).

Have any of you ever felt this way?
Oh heck yes! Horses throw all kinds of curve balls. An example of mine, my barn has a Haflinger lesson horse that hadn’t been used much except for beginner lessons. I was wanting more saddle time, and the BO gave me permission to ride him. I asked him to canter and was not on guard enough (because beginners were riding him after all!). He gave a smart buck, and I ended up in front of the saddle on his shoulders. Fortunately for me, he kept his neck up so I was able to throw myself back in the saddle. He went to work after that!!!.. Being a smart pony he has never tried that move again. Live and learn.

HOWEVER, I wouldn’t expect someone with less experience to be able to do that! He was strongly objecting to having to work, because the beginners were not be able to push him through the not wanting to work. He also taught me my quick release knots sucked and that I needed to pay better attention while tacking up, what a character he is!

And did I really fail this test? For your skill level at this time, no. You did not fail this test, but you were set up to fail by your instructor. Working a sour horse through the antics is not something a beginner, advanced beginner, or even some beginning intermediate level riders are equipped to deal with. Horses that have learned that doing nasty naughties (bucking, rearing, bolting) gets them out of work will more often than not up the ante to a point the rider needs to be quite experienced to deal with it.

And more importantly, what should my attitude be the next time I get on a horse? Insist you do not ride this horse again! You need confidence building rides right now to improve your skills. Do you best to let it go and ride the horse you are sitting on.

If you are often feeling down after a riding lesson at this barn, it is time to find a new barn. Sure, there are bad days, but most days should be fun (and not scary!!!).

[fjordmom]

Sometimes in horseback riding, as in life, we learn valuable lessons the hard way. You were certainly put to the test and IMHO, your trainer didn’t do it in a very nice way. He/she is the one that failed, not you. They did not prepare you properly for this more challenging ride.

You on the other hand, did succeed on many fronts. Keep reminding yourself of this.
You stayed on a nasty bucking pony.
You regained your composure in-spite of how unsettling the pony’s nasty behavior was.
You had the sense and skill to come up with an alternate plan that would allow the ride to end on a acceptable note.

Those skills will come in handy many times in your riding life. No doubt you’ll second guess yourself at times. You’ll get discouraged and want to give up. We all do. I certainly have and I have 30+ years in the saddle.

You have learned something about how to communicate better with your trainer. It’s your right to expect to be safe and to enjoy your rides. A sit down and talk would be a good idea. Let them know how you feel. Ask them to teach you what you need to know before you ride this type of pony again or how you might handle him differently. Remember you are paying for a service that they are providing. They should be teaching you the skills you need to succeed. (I don’t mean that in a snarky way, just pointing out that they are not God and you are not their doormat with an open checkbook.)

Once you’ve had a little time to regroup and process this experience, try to have a laugh if you can by and remembering pony is a four letter word for a reason (some of the time at least. This was one of those times).

Good luck. Stick with it. You will succeed in whatever way you choose to define that.

[beau159]

@Maria Floreriam

Today I had a really frustrating experience at the barn that made me lose a lot of confidence and faith in myself.

I had a self-practice session (no instructors/coaches), and the horse that I was assigned to was known to have a temper. He was one of the few horses that kicked, and the only one that I know of (at the barn) that bucks.
I was a little nervous going in to it, but he is a small little Haflinger so I wasn’t too worried.

I’ve never ridden him before

Firstly, I’m really surprised that the barn put you on a known bucker / kicker by yourself that you have never ridden before.

That’s not real smart on the barn’s part. I’m less worried about you, and more worried about the barn’s judgement. I do not think this horse is a good match for you at all.

@Maria Floreriam

And then he started bucking. Right after the first time he bucked, I was a little freaked out. I immediately got off and just led him around the ring for a few minutes. After both him and I seemed to have calmed down, I got back on.

With a bucking horse, this was the absolute wrong thing to do.

Now don’t go beat yourself up about it, but just learn from it instead.

By getting off him, the horse won. He did not want to work, and you allowed him to stop working and gave in to his temper tantrum. You always need to push the horse through the bucks, or you just TRAIN them to continue bucking. You have to let them know that they will not get out of work by bucking, and in fact, will just have to work harder.

When a horse does something, good or bad, you have 3 seconds. That is all the time you have for the horse to make the connection between what they did (good or bad) based on how you responded to it.

@Maria Floreriam

After both him and I seemed to have calmed down, I got back on. However, once I applied more pressure with my legs, he would just stop, or jerk his down and walk straight into a jump and just stand there.

Of course he did. You showed him the first time that if he acts up, he gets to stop. You allowed him to ignore your cues and do what he wants so that is what he did.

Again, not trying to make you feel bad as I do think the barn is at fault for not not matching you with an appropriate horse or giving you any instruction, but just trying to explain what happened so maybe you can feel better prepared next time.

@Maria Floreriam

What made me feel worse though, was that when I asked the instructor in the ring for help (she was teaching someone else, and had her back turned when he bucked), she simply thought that I was overworking him and that he was tired.

This way of thinking doesn’t make sense to me. Even if the horse was overworked and tired (which of course he wasn’t), that is still no EXCUSE for him to go off bucking.

@Maria Floreriam

I was also afraid of him bucking again. but she told me to relax and try again, and just let him buck.
So that’s what I did. When I pulled a little on his rein and gave him a small kick, he would just buck. And there we were, in the middle of the ring, bucking and bucking.

Eh… you don’t really want to just “let them buck”. I don’t particularly enjoy riding bucking horses.

What you want to do is get the horse into a small circle and drive them forward. If that means you’ve got to kick as hard as you can to get them to move forward, do it. If they are actively moving forward, they cannot buck. And putting them in a small circle gives you a little more control of their head (use that direct rein). And when they stop bucking, I’d make them continue moving hard in a small circle until I made my point (work work work), and then we would lope on around the arena like I had planned in the first place.

Again, do NOT let them get out of whatever you had initially cued them to do in the first place. But make them work hard and realize that bucking was the wrong decision in the mean time.

Horses can buck for many reasons, including pain, and of course it is important to address any issues the horse may have. But in my mind, no matter what the horse’s “reason” is for bucking, bucking is just never acceptable. NEVER. It is my job to make sure my horse is comfortable and happy so that they don’t buck, but on the same token, if they ever try bucking, it was the WRONG choice.

DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF OP. Kudos for not falling off, but use these tips if you find yourself in this situation again. Hopefully the barn won’t put you in this situation again, though.

[Maria_Floreriam]

Thanks so much guys! Ok to clear some things up:

@findeight

I think the only failure here was on the barns side for putting you on a completely unsuitable horse/Pony to ride by yourself. That’s violates a very basic concept in developing riders-don’t scare them or put them on an unsafe horse. Unfortunately they put you on an unsafe horse and scared you-and charged you for the privilege. Shame on them. This helps your riding because…?.

^ Relating to everyone who referred to the barn - well, I am part of their show team, which is for every level, and one part of the practices is self-hack. I guess the point of it is to learn to ride by yourself, and it is definitely harder without a coach, but I think that’s the point. However, 2 out of every 3 times that I ride I am with an instructor, so it doesn’t happen everytime.
But yes, next time I will try my hardest to not ride that pony again.

I do really like riding at that barn. The people I know there are very supportive and I rarely leave the barn feeling worse

[Pennywell_Bay]

Everyone had good input.

I’ll chime in that even as an experienced rider with really nice horses- I feel like this sometimes. Just over the summer I went through this every time I rode my one horse. Then my trainer would get on and she’s perfect. OH- trainer is literally 1/2 my age.

I had many log, soul search “WTF am I doing I need to sell her and let her go on to be awesome without me”. Anyway- I got over it. Everyone goes through humps. Some last longer than others. Some will admit it, some won’t.
So no, you aren’t alone.