When is it time to let go?

[Meshach]

Need some advice. I haven’t posted in a long time, since I found out my company can track internet use (that doesn’t stop me from lurking in the mornings though

My beloved 7 year old Border Collie has intestinal cancer. He was diagnosed about a month and a half ago. His only real symptom is that he’s extremely anemic. A normal dog’s Packed Cell Volume (% of Red Blood Cells) is 37-55%. His, as of this past Friday, was 12 - that’s down from 16 the day before and I’m sure it’s dropped since then.

When he first started getting anemic, the vets thought it was Autoimmune Hemolitic Anemia where the immune system kills the RBC. He was started on prednesone and we monitored his PCV closely.

When it fell to 18, I took him to a specialty surgical hospital where he received a blood transfusion, bone marrow biopsy and aspiration (to see if his bone marrow was producing RBC), x-rays, ultrasound, etc. He was there for a couple of days. When the ultrasound showed masses in his stomach, spleen and abdominal cavity, they did an aspiration that said it was cancer. The oncologist and internal medicine specialist recommended against chemo or surgery. That it was too extensive. When we left there, his blood level after the transfusion was 26, then dropped to 21. Being anemic makes you very very tired, no interest in much.

Of course, I’m not just going to sit there and do nothing so I tried holistic medicine, I found a wonderful vet who started him on acupunture, chinese herbs, I gave him flax oil (cancer-fighter). She got his PCV up to 30!! He was eating like crazy, playing, I was able to take him to the park, his tongue was pink. I thought that the cancer was in remission, I’d have him for at least six months more.

Then the last week and a half, he’s started to slid again. Now I have to carry him to go to the bathroom, he doesn’t want to eat and won’t go after his sticks or squeaky toys any more. He starts to get interested but doesn’t have the energy to do so. Anyone who knows about Border Collies, knows how much they love to fetch. But I honestly don’t believe he’s in pain, he’s not acting like a dog in pain, just very tired.

Here’s an example of what an incredible dog he is. Last night, I had set my alarm for 5:30 to take him out. But at about 5:00 AM, I heard this clattering noise in the bathroom. I thought he was having a seizure or something so I went in there.

He was standing in the bathtub going to the bathroom. Somehow, in the pitch dark, he managed to climb into the slippery tub and somehow knew that if he went to the bathroom in there, he wouldn’t make a mess, that it would go down the drain. How did he figured that out? He only climbed into the tub once in his life, a couple of years ago during a thunderstorm. I lifted him out of the tub and he lay there wheezing until he was able to rest some more. He makes sounds now when he breathes.

He is the best dog, I don’t know what I am going to do without him. My options at this point are to let him go on like this, put him to sleep or give him another blood transfusion. The vet said that a blood transfusion would really be a band-aid. He would last another couple of weeks and then the blood levels would drop again. That is if there isn’t a complication from the transfusion in the first place.

I don’t know if I am strong enough to put him to sleep but I don’t know if I’m being selfish. Again, I don’t think he’s in pain but he certainly can’t enjoy life the way he used to. I wish dogs could talk. How do you make this decision?

[Meshach]

Need some advice. I haven’t posted in a long time, since I found out my company can track internet use (that doesn’t stop me from lurking in the mornings though

My beloved 7 year old Border Collie has intestinal cancer. He was diagnosed about a month and a half ago. His only real symptom is that he’s extremely anemic. A normal dog’s Packed Cell Volume (% of Red Blood Cells) is 37-55%. His, as of this past Friday, was 12 - that’s down from 16 the day before and I’m sure it’s dropped since then.

When he first started getting anemic, the vets thought it was Autoimmune Hemolitic Anemia where the immune system kills the RBC. He was started on prednesone and we monitored his PCV closely.

When it fell to 18, I took him to a specialty surgical hospital where he received a blood transfusion, bone marrow biopsy and aspiration (to see if his bone marrow was producing RBC), x-rays, ultrasound, etc. He was there for a couple of days. When the ultrasound showed masses in his stomach, spleen and abdominal cavity, they did an aspiration that said it was cancer. The oncologist and internal medicine specialist recommended against chemo or surgery. That it was too extensive. When we left there, his blood level after the transfusion was 26, then dropped to 21. Being anemic makes you very very tired, no interest in much.

Of course, I’m not just going to sit there and do nothing so I tried holistic medicine, I found a wonderful vet who started him on acupunture, chinese herbs, I gave him flax oil (cancer-fighter). She got his PCV up to 30!! He was eating like crazy, playing, I was able to take him to the park, his tongue was pink. I thought that the cancer was in remission, I’d have him for at least six months more.

Then the last week and a half, he’s started to slid again. Now I have to carry him to go to the bathroom, he doesn’t want to eat and won’t go after his sticks or squeaky toys any more. He starts to get interested but doesn’t have the energy to do so. Anyone who knows about Border Collies, knows how much they love to fetch. But I honestly don’t believe he’s in pain, he’s not acting like a dog in pain, just very tired.

Here’s an example of what an incredible dog he is. Last night, I had set my alarm for 5:30 to take him out. But at about 5:00 AM, I heard this clattering noise in the bathroom. I thought he was having a seizure or something so I went in there.

He was standing in the bathtub going to the bathroom. Somehow, in the pitch dark, he managed to climb into the slippery tub and somehow knew that if he went to the bathroom in there, he wouldn’t make a mess, that it would go down the drain. How did he figured that out? He only climbed into the tub once in his life, a couple of years ago during a thunderstorm. I lifted him out of the tub and he lay there wheezing until he was able to rest some more. He makes sounds now when he breathes.

He is the best dog, I don’t know what I am going to do without him. My options at this point are to let him go on like this, put him to sleep or give him another blood transfusion. The vet said that a blood transfusion would really be a band-aid. He would last another couple of weeks and then the blood levels would drop again. That is if there isn’t a complication from the transfusion in the first place.

I don’t know if I am strong enough to put him to sleep but I don’t know if I’m being selfish. Again, I don’t think he’s in pain but he certainly can’t enjoy life the way he used to. I wish dogs could talk. How do you make this decision?

[fleur]

I understand that you want to spend as much time as possible with him, but chances are he IS in pain… Just a guess.
My poodle Peggy was the sweetest, most well-behaved girl ever. She was an angel. At 2, she had kidney failure. She lost a ton of weight and got scraggly, would eat and throw it up, urinated and vomited blood. After we brought her in to the vet, he gave us two choices - put her down now and end her suffering, or let her live out the next week or so (that’s how short it would take). We chose to put her down. I went with my mom; we held her and she was calm and comfortable when they did it. It was basically like she went to sleep in our arms. Looking back, it was the better decision, she was surrounded by people she loved, and she didn’t hurt anymore. I know she was a severe case, but think about his welfare.

EMMA

[In_The_Gate]

I’m so sorry for your loss

And I know, there is nothing we can say, or do to make the pain go away.

Here, is the Rainbow Bridge poem. I hope it brings you some comfort that he’s in a better place now.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…

Author unknown…

Valerie
~VWiles02@yahoo.com~
Valerie’s home page

[JumpItHighPie]

I’m sorry to read of your circumstance. It’s hard when any animal is at that age where decisions such as these are to be thought of or made.

You know him best and he knows you best. If it is time to put him down, you will know it. You’ve done so much for him and I’m sure everyone realizes that.

My friend had a 13 year old dog who she refused to put down for almost a month. The dog didn’t eat and when she did, she threw it up. She couldn’t hear or hardly see. In that circumstance I think the dog should have been put out of her misery and I think my friend was being selish.

All you can do is M=make the rest of your dogs life as comfortable for him as possible, which you seem to be doing.

My thoughts are with you

Jen &*** Pie***
“It is easy to live in the world after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live in your own;but great is the one who in the midst of a crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” R.W.E.
http://hometown.aol.com/pithegr8t/PiePie.html

[HunterRider18]

After reading everyone’s post I decided to share a story.

(For the record I am not crazy, you will understand after reading)

I work at a vet clinic, we had a cat named “Norman” who had not been taken care of and was diabetic. The Dr. decided to keep him and try to treat him (at this point he had been left so long he had very little strength left in his hind legs). He was with us for about a month and he was starting to show signs of improvment. However this past week I went into work and he didn’t look very good, He started violently vomitting and right before he did every time he said “I love you” repeatedly. I thought I was crazy but when my co-worker looked at me and ask if I had heard that I realized that he really was saying “I love you”. I think that he knew it was his time to go and he was thanking us for the care and attention we gave him.

We may not have been able to get him back to good health, but we did give him the best month of his entire 12 years.

The moral of the story, animals most definatly know when there time has come and they let you know. All you have to do is listen.

[vineyridge]

Letting companion animals go is so hard because they are companions. We can let our own need for their companionship affect our desires to do the best for them.

I’ve always been told that, if there is a question about whether it is really time, to sit down with your pet and assure it that it’s okay for it to leave you. Then talk to it about wanting to do what’s best for it, and ask your pet if s/he thinks it’s time.

I’ve had to put two dogs down in the past year, one my companion of 14 years, the other with stage 5b cancer. Neither was easy, but the vet agreed with my decision.

You have been blessed that your pup made the decision for you. Companionship will be missed horribly, but that’s all part of loving other creatures.

[Erin]

Oh Meshach, I’m so sorry…

I was talking with my mom about this last night, because my beloved grumpy old stray kitty, Gus (who I found living under the porch of a house I lived in), has chronic kidney failure. He was in the hospital for two days on IVs and didn’t improve much. So I brought him home and am just planning to help him do as well as he can in the time he has left. (Probably a few weeks.) He’s definitely happier at home, and isn’t in pain… just tired and weak. I’ll be making this same decision soon, I’m sure.

Anyway, my mom and I were talking about one of our Shelties who had a failing liver, I think. (Or maybe that was kidneys too… I can’t remember.) She was 13 when we had her put down, and in retrospect, she went on a little too long. We had to carry her out to go to the bathroom, she was not interested in eating at all, and although she wasn’t in pain, her quality of life really wasn’t there.

One of the nicest things we can do for our pets is give them a graceful, pain-free exit. It’s such a hard thing to decide, but I think you “know” when it’s time. You just have to listen to your gut, and be honest with yourself about whether you’re keeping the pet around for the pet’s sake, or for your own.

In my case, when my kitty gets to the point that he’s not able to get around, he doesn’t perk up when I come in the room, he doesn’t want to eat anything… that’s probably when I’ll say that enough is enough and put him down.

I’ve never had to do it on my own before… not looking forward to it.

[Kryswyn]

In my time with dogs, I’ve had to let them go; had them taken before I even knew my folks were considering it (sorta like Canadieneh); and waited too long, and worst of all, had to put down a healthy, happy dog - who just happened to have a hairtrigger when it came to biting.

Duffy and the others are right. You will know. Clear your thoughts, be calm, look into his eyes and ask him, “Is it time?” At some point the answer will be “Yes, please” and you will move mountains to get to the vet immediately.

Your bond with him is strong; so strong I don’t think you need worry about keeping him past that point selfishly for yourself. I don’t believe you could.

My deepest sympathies, and if it helps remember this: after the injections, a shell of a ruined body will lie on the floor, but from it will rise the soul of a strong, healthy Border Collie who will wait for you, for as long as it takes, for you to come and play with him again.

~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”

[Lucassb]

to hear about your dog. He sounds like a wonderful fellow!

I made this same decision in the beginning of June, when I put down my best friend of 17 years, my dog Gatsby. I had had him since I was in college and basically he had been at my side my whole adult life.

He did not have cancer but had had other health problems and when he got sick the last time I asked the vet what HE would do if it had been his dog. He said, well, we can take him to the emergency clinic and pump him full of fluids but…" just the way he said it made me ask “Is it time to let him go?” To which he replied, “I think it might be time.”

I couldn’t stand the thought of putting him through more invasive treatment, having him on IVs and so forth - and I didn’t want him to go through progressive deterioration. He was not in pain per se, but he was uncomfortable and not enjoying life anymore. He was dehydrated (wouldn’t eat and although he drank a ton, he couldn’t keep it down and he had bad diarrhea as well.)

It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I bawl everytime I think about it (including now.) However, I do believe I did the right thing in not permitting him to suffer and I like to think that in a way that was my last gift to him. As pet owners I think that is part of the responsibility we have - to be strong enough to do what is necessary to prevent suffering if it comes to that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

---

To appreciate heaven well
'Tis good for a man to have some fifteen minutes of hell.
Will Carleton (1845-1912)

[Cactuskate]

Some very good insight given already. I will just add, and this worked for me two times. One with my faithful Springer of 13 years, and once with an OTTB gelding I had only for 5 months.

Simply, when you realize they are on the planet only because it hurts YOU to much to say goodbye.

My heart goes out to you, it is a very hard decision, but we, as the humans, are given this opportunity to make things good for our “bestest” friends.

“The older I get, the better I used to be, but who the heck cares!”

[system]

I am sorry that you have to make this difficult decision. I too had a border collie for 8 years. He was an amazing animal and was devoted to my family. Three years ago he became very sick and went downhill fast. I was away for a long weekend and when I came back he was gone. He got so sick within the couple of days that I was gone that my parents had to make the decision without me (he was my dog). From what I understand he was near death’s door. I never got to say goodbye. I was so angry when I came home. I could not understand how a dog could get so sick, so quickly, but after talking to my family weeks after it happened I understood why they had to end his suffering. The only thing that I regret is that I didn’t get to say goodbye. I think that you should remember the good times that you have had with your dog. Remember him for the fun days in the park catching sticks, and going for long walks, not for him being sick. I know it is a hard decision but please don’t let him suffer.

[Caros_Folks]

Others have already said so many wise and insightful things, so I’ll be brief.

In my opinion, once your friend needs your help to releive him/herself-it’s time. You can’t always be around and if for some reason you were gone and your good boy couldn’t get up to do his business, at the risk of projecting human feelings on animals, I can’t think of anything more humiliating for him than to not being able to get up and do what I imagine you have impressed upon him as being one of the most important things for him to remember.

Call me crazy, but when it was ‘time’ I ALWAYS asked them if they were ‘ready to go’. Each of them found a way to tell me if they were or they wanted to wait a while longer. You have to ask, You have to listen to them. It’s hard but they really, need us to be strong at a time like this.

[Daisycomet2000]

I had to put my 1st show pony down after 2 wonderful years w/ him. I didnt want to do it, i would just cry and cry. I didnt think he was in pain, but his bleeding from his mouth convinced everyone else. I knew that it would be more devastating to come home from school and see him dead so I had to put him down. It was in May this year, if u were watching my eyes water u can see that it still bothers me, but it does get better, it only gets to me sometimes. Its easier to get it over w/ But the final desision is urs.

xoxo,
Angie n Puzzle Pieces

[In_The_Gate]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I think you should go ahead and give him a blood transfusion becuase while it’s only temporary, it keeps him alert and happy. And, it will buy you time to think about what you are going to do.

Again, I’m sorry you have to go through this. Especially with a dog so young.

Valerie
~VWiles02@yahoo.com~
Valerie’s home page

[Duffy]

Oh, Meshach…I do know what you are going through. I had to put my Remmie to sleep a little over a year ago. I kept doubting myself, but my fellow BB’ers kept assuring me that I would know - and I did. His eyes told me when it was time. You will know. I’m so sorry, though.

Erin, you know we’re here for you too.

[Meshach]

thank you so much for your replies, it really helped to read them.

The decision was made for me yesterday afternoon. About 45 minutes after I came home from work, Brodie passed away. In retrospect, I should have put him to sleep on Saturday, he was looking at me with those eyes but I couldn’t let go.

I was talking to boyfriend on the phone outside and my mom (my parents always took care of him during the day when I was at work) came and got me saying that Brodie had fallen down. He had stood up and then came crashing down she said. When I got inside, even though his heart was still beating, the life had gone out of his eyes. By the time I got him to the vet, he had already gone. In one way it is a relief that he no longer has to suffer, but I just wish I didn’t let him go as long as he did. The vet said that he was probably bleeding internally from the cancer and absorbing the blood, that’s why he was anemic.

It’s so depressing being in my house and seeing all the places he used to be. I also am trying to remember him as he was but I still picture how he was these last couple of days.

Erin - I’m so sorry your kitty Gus is also in this situation. Pets give us so much and ask for so little in return. Canadianeh I was in the same situation with my first Border Collie, I was away at college when my parents put him to sleep, I too was so angry that I didn’t get a chance to say good-bye. I always seem to think that there is something more that can be done, I guess that’s why I didn’t want to let go with Brodie.

[Miniwelsh]

So sorry Mesach and Erin. It sounds like you both will know when the time is right - your animals will let you know. Just wanted to say that I am sorry and am sending vitual hugs

Behind every good woman lies a trail of men

[Quinn]

Someone else posted this the other day and I liked it so much, I wrote it down.

In their short lives, our pets give us all they can…their friendship, unselfish love and total loyalty.

There comes a time when we must give back to them…their freedom, their peace and their dignity.

Author unknown

[Zimt]

I’m really sorry - what a very tough time for you

Personally I measure it like this:

1. Can my pet do the things he loves without really strong painkillers/other meds? If not, time to go. My dog loves to: run, jump, eat, play ball. When his back condition deteriorates to the point when he’s no longer mobile, I am going to help him out.

2. Do I really want to see my best friend suffer? No. If the vet says it’s a one way street, then you already know you’re going to HAVE to so it sooner or later. My vote is sooner. I really don’t want to remember my dog as a heaving mass of pain and sickness.

It’s not quantity of life, it’s QUALITY.

Good luck. Be brave.