I’ve heard that too. I figure they are animals and individuals and they don’t live on a schedule 
I had a feral kitten I caught at my barn around 6 months old or so, brought home and he was like was like, oh cool I live here now thanks. I swear he was settled and thought he owned the place in a day or two but I’ve also had them take a lot longer than the 3 months
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I don’t think that anyone can really advise someone else on what is right for their situation.
I have 2 friends I walk with. One has two dogs that she has to divide in her home. The older, small dog always had a bit of an attitude with other dogs, and she got a German Shepherd puppy that was ok with him at first and then the German Shepherd had a number of incidents with other dogs. She has a crate and rotate system. I believe that she is intending to wait until both of her current dogs pass away before getting another dog, but I think she’s hoping that future dogs will be able to be integrated with other dogs. I couldn’t have returned the Shepherd either - she was attached by the time the issue was apparent.
The other lady has two dogs that get along, but the second dog that she got cannot be around her cats, and so she keeps the cats separately. Personally I would find that situation to be high stress - I wont do cats and dogs together, but it seems to be working for her. I would’ve wanted to get a puppy or a dog that did well with cats, but she did not return the dog when she saw the reaction to cats. For what it’s worth, she absolutely trained and socialized and is an incredible owner to both dogs.
Multiple pet households are always tricky and always carry some risk. I have had at least 2 dogs for some time, and I am the first to say that I’m incredibly lucky not to have had an issue because rehoming a dog would be very difficult for me emotionally and I do believe I would crate and rotate (and as someone that dabbles in dog training, I’m around a lot of people that compete and breed and have multiple dogs including some that can’t be together, so for me it’s normalized).
All the best and I hope that whatever solution you come to, you’re at peace with it.
Yes! The lavender collars that look and feel like an old-style flea collar really worked well for my cats when I moved. I just kept them loose enough on their necks that they could slip out of them if they got hung up on anything.
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I don’t think there is a correct way to answer this question. The only right answer is “do what’s best for both you and your animals.”
You should not feel guilted into keeping the new animals forever if they are not working out. There is nothing wrong with that.
On the flip side, you should not feel guilted into giving up animals that you want to keep, especially if you can make it work.
I know this isn’t helpful. I hope you feel better soon. I know you will figure out what’s the best solution for you and your animals.
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I agree with this 100% . I think recuses give this type of time line so that people don’t give up and after one or two bad days. It sounds like the OP has done everything in her power to make this work. No shame in taking them back if it’s truly not a good fit.
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I have one extremely friendly dog like cat and one cat that is two steps up from feral. I don’t think I would deal well with with two of either type but one of each works well for me. I get friendship and cuddles but not so much that it is overwhelming.
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I fully agree with Texarkana. In your case it sounds like your resident female cat has made her opinion about these two living with you quite clear to the level of injuring the new additions. That is my personal line for things not working out…
However it sounds like you need to give the situation one more solid try before making the decision of returning these two. I do hope it works out for you!
With our dogs and several reptiles, we are the 2nd or at least 3rd home and intend to be their last. There are be good homes out here for these two if things don’t work out.
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This!
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I miss Cheeto! 
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Wise words. I work at a shelter and agree 100%.
Hope you’re feeling better.
Out of all of the different animals I’ve had, I only returned/re-placed one cat.
A friend was moving and couldn’t take her cats with her. I took the older female to itegrate with my five cats at the time. I did everything I could but the resident cats just would not warm up to her. The cat dynamics were changing for the worse and the behaviour of the resident cats was changing for the worse. I gave it six months until I finally decided it was not going to work. Some cats just do not get along with certain personalities/behaviours of other cats.
I felt bad but I didn’t feel guilty for returning her.
Since then I have adopted three other cats and it has all worked out.
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So does Bounce 
But he’s persistent & I think he’ll wear Stripes down 
He’s going to be surprised.
Stripes is nowhere near the cushy pillow Cheeto was. 
I’ve fostered many cats over the years and for the most part it’s worked out, but our most recent adoption does NOT like sharing his humans and his house. He’s not hurt any of the fosters, but it stresses him out and he starts pulling his hair out. I tried one last time last fall with a truly wonderful young cat and finally convinced my son to adopt him so our Oscar could be an only cat again.
If the kittens are stressing out your female cat it might not be woth it.
Thanks again everyone. Being home seems to have helped because she’s actually not chased them in a couple days in a row now. And tonight she got in my lap next to them. She’s still unsure about them it seems but maybe this is some progress. She responds to sweet talking. When she looks like she’s going to start stalking if I sweet talk her she stops. Crossing fingers this keeps up.
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A lot of cats seem to take time to settle in.
I adopted an adult single female. She warmed up to me fairly fast but my elderly mother had problems with her. About a week in, she bit Mom twice 
. She didn’t do a lot of damage but you know…90 year old skin can’t take a lot of abuse.
I started out by shutting her out of the bedroom at night so there could be no conflicts regarding sleeping area (by either party). She got the idea and now she often sleeps on the corner of Mom’s bed without demanding the whole bed.
It took her about 6 months to totally settle in. I don’t think she was ever super stressed out but it took her quite some time to be totally chill about my home.
Besties
.
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I have 4 cats. The first 2 cats I adopted from different litters. They originally got along okay. As time has passed the male cat has begun beating up the little girl cat. I added 2 additional cats and everyone gets along except for the one male.
So now I have a split household. The male gets to live in the spare bedroom during the day. He is allowed out with supervision and he can have the entire house at night. I take the other 3 cats to my bed with me at night. Fortunately for me they sleep until sunrise so that seems to work just fine.
The male cat would be a great barn cat as he is a terrific mouser but with the traffic he would probably get hit. He does escape at any opportunity so I figure at some point I will probably lose him. He has grown on me. I didn’t like him at all for the first year.
I will say no one is trying to kill one another so while they don’t really get along, they mostly coexist if I do put everyone together. Usually the male will be fine until he gets bored and starts picking on the others.
It’s up to you if you want to return them vs managing the situation. I do prefer having animals that all get along but sometimes that isn’t possible.
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I will say I have crates, an extra room, and an outdoor cat pen and a back porch. Plenty of options for rotating them around. Except for right now. The back porch has baby birds (wrens) and is now off limits until the birds are gone. Surprisingly my cats don’t seem to mind the birds on the porch. I was really thinking the birds were crazy to nest there and would quickly end up in trouble. But I think the birds are either really discreet or the cats just don’t pay attention to the birds.
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It really hasn’t been that long time wise and may take longer for all to adjust, but on the other hand, you are the one living with it. There is no shame or guilt in saying, “This just isn’t working out.” Only you really know.
My brother and his wife, when they married, each had a cat. Each of these cats had been a single cat previously. They hated each other. Brother and new SIL tried a couple-of-weeks introduction, and the cats were not interested in this marriage at all, thank you. The house they lived in for several years after marriage had an upstairs and downstairs, and eventually, the cats themselves divided the house, having the upstairs cat and the downstairs cat. It was a workable split solution that lasted for years, but those cats never became friends.
I myself am four months into Little Bit, the previously unsocialized senior I rescued at the beginning of January. I don’t use the work rescue lightly, but she was one; her life was in danger at the place she was hanging around the fringes of. I’ve done a lot of cats in my life, and I think this one has been the most challenging. We went through a few weeks of solitary, then a few weeks of a screen between (link below; I was super impressed at how this lasted, did not shred, and stood up even to being climbed), then finally full run. She still has never been seen snuggling with anybody. Her “I must hiss and slap” distance slowly decreases, but it’s all still very much a work in progress. Some cats just take more time than others. But again, only you know what is the right choice for your situation.
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I am so trying this - I have an upstairs cat, who is okay with my other cats until he’s not. PTSD for sure.
