When it rains it pours in life

[Laverne77]

Just a vent here. COTHers seem to be so good at commiserating and finding silver linings. I lost my GSD the first week of February. I came home in the evening to find her suffering from bloat. I rushed her to the vet and she went into emergency surgery but her stomach had already twisted. On the table she suffered cardiac arrest and my sweet girl left this world. She was only 8-1/2 years old. I spoke with her breeder a few weeks later who said she was expecting a litter this spring. I reserved a puppy. The litter turned out to be just a single pup. I want to get another dog but I’m not sure I want to deal with a singleton, so I’m on the fence about that.

My heart horse, who’s been retired for nearly 6 years due to stifle and suspensory issues, has been indicating more discomfort lately. I’ve always felt that he’d tell me when he’s ready to go, and in the last couple weeks I’ve noticed a little of the spark gone from his eyes. He’s still eating well, gets around as best he can, and nickers when he sees me as he always has, but I went ahead and scheduled his Final Appointment. I picked April 15. That will be his 25th birthday and also the 14th anniversary of the day I got him. It seemed appropriate, and hopefully by then we’ll have some green grass and spring days to enjoy. I know it’s the right thing to do for him, and I’ve been trying to come to terms with it. But it’s such a weird sensation to look at him and think, “he’s got 3 weeks to live.” I’ve not been in this particular situation before, and it’s hard.

My other old horse is just NQR in his back end this spring and I think it’s time to retire him, too. He’s only 20 but high mileage (STB, 231 races, 13 years on the track and probably 25,000 miles in a jog cart) and he’s just plain worn out. His pasterns are dropping and he had some stifle issues last fall. At this point I can’t see fighting his non-specific lameness when he’s no longer enjoying his job.

Then the other day I pulled an inch long wood splinter out of my yearling’s neck. I’ve squeezed copious amounts of puss out and I suppose one is never too young to learn to take medicine (Tucoprim in this case), and I’m sure he’ll recover. But it’s just one more thing, you know?

[lenapesadie]

Ugh that is a lot.

[Heinz_57]

Oh man, I hope things turn around for you soon. That’s a lot to deal with, I’m sorry!

[jonquil]

This is a lot to deal with, on top of the pandemic. I’m sorry you’re going through so much and holding you in the light.

[Bluey]

It is pouring, indeed.

When we care for others, things happen on their own time.

Be sure to take good care of yourself in these hard times.

[TheJenners]

I also have one waiting on “the appointment” this Monday, I’ve managed to go through the grieving process already so I’m doing ok, but it IS weird to look at him and know he has five days… four days… three days… It is so very strange and sad. However he turned the corner in a lot of ways in February so I know it’s the right thing to do.

I can commiserate.

[Postandrails]

I’m sorry. You’re right - that’s a lot to deal with. Having to say goodbye to them is something I don’t handle very well, and I definitely understand how difficult it can be.

[Laverne77]

@TheJenners I’m thinking of you today.
I hope everything goes as well as it can.

[Posting_Trot]

I’m so sorry. Every one that goes leaves a hole in your heart. But you’re clearly doing the right thing by all your animals.

[walktrot]

Trainer Julie Goodnight wrote this article after one of her horses dropped dead in the arena. It is so well written, thoughtful, and realistic. My horse is 26 and it helps me focus on decisions that are made more easily now than in the midst of a crisis.

Dealing with the Death of a Horse

[TheJenners]

Thank you It’s very hard, he’s 17 and been with me since he was four, so he’s been a major part of my life. I know it’s the right thing, to do it now when he still has good days (yesterday was a good day!) but it still sucks. The weather today is very nice so I’ll be outside in it most of the day so he can enjoy it too.

[Laverne77]

The old horse went peacefully when his time came. The vet is a friend of mine and came out on his afternoon off. The guy from the cremation service that picked him up was very courteous and handled the remains with dignity. Things all went as well as they could have. I can’t believe it’s been 4 weeks already.

Two days later I attended my favorite uncle’s funeral.

The following weekend the singleton puppy I was supposed to be getting was accidentally run over and killed.

Enough is enough already.

I’ve been thinking about starting to shop around for another horse but perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something…

[Libby2563]

Wow, I’m so sorry for all your losses and struggles this year! That is a lot and the cumulative effect can become really overwhelming, I know.

I also totally understand what you mean about the universe trying to tell you something about horse shopping. A month ago a horse I was trying tripped at the trot, flipped over, and landed on me. A week later I hobbled off to see another one (not started under saddle so I thought I’d be safe looking). During that drive I developed blood clots in the leg injured in the wreck. Needless to say I feel like the universe is telling me to stop the horse search already! Sometimes it’s hard to know when to persevere through stuff like that. All I can suggest is listening to your heart/gut and not rushing into anything. I’ll be doing the same.

Hugs.

[ThreeWishes]

Sending you a warm healing hug. I’m so sorry.

[tikihorse2]

I am so sorry to hear of all your losses, @Laverne77. I wish I could do more than send you virtual hugs. Take it easy on yourself for a while…

[glitterless]

So sorry for your losses, Laverne and to you too, TheJenners.

[moonlitoaksranch]

Wow, so much all at once…I’m sorry @Laverne77. You’ll know when the time is right for another dog or horse. For me it’s when I feel nothing but excitement about a possible dog or horse. Otherwise, I worry that I really just want the one I lost back and the new friend will not get the emotional attachment from me that they deserve.

That little yearling could probably soak up some attention until you’re ready.

@Jenners, I’m sorry. That’s an old friend and I know how it feels.

[frugalannie]

@Laverne77 and @TheJenners, I’m so sorry for the losses you’ve had and the grief you’re feeling. It is part of loving these creatures with whom we share our lives, but it is painful.

I am also having a tough year. 12 months ago I had 4 horses (2 OTTB mares in their early 20s and their offspring aged 4 and 11) and an old mare aged 27 who was given to a dear gentleman who loved her. The old mare had a bad colic this winter and had to be euthanized. One of my OTTB mares broke her humerus in her stall and had to be euthanized. And the other mare somehow got a wound and small fracture (smaller than a quarter) on her tibia: 3 inches above her hock *on the inside of her hind leg. *. Besides not being able to figure out how that happened, we didn’t put her down immediately. She was bearing weight and comfortable without any meds. But a week later, just this past Thursday, the fracture became catastrophic and the vet arrived within 20 min before it really hit her, I think. (She was eating and seemed ok)

I sold the 4 yo last fall the same week as his dam had the humoral fracture, so for the first time in 45 years I have just one horse. I’m still reeling a bit so I’m avoiding any decisions. Potential boarders want the stall, the local rescue wants me to foster a horse and etc. and I’m just horrified that with the best care I know how to give my two grand mares experienced such atypical fractures. But being the grand mares they were, there was no question about what had to be done. They gave me that gift.

Thanks fellow COTHers who are on the journey of love and sorrow for letting me decant. I hope sharing your stories helped ease your pain as it has mine.