Some people say she was only “stating facts”, but I can totally understand the kind of person she is and how the way in which she said it would bring out the “mama bear” anger. My aunt is probably similar to this nasty woman so I understand how annoying it is. As I got older and my aunt didn’t have to “babysit” my riding, she become more and more rude about everything. For that reason, I no longer associate with her in a “horsey” setting.
I do adore my horses for what they are, quirks and all, and recognize their flaws. Yes, I can mention what their issues are, but unless you are my trainer and giving me criticism as a tool to improve what I have, I don’t want to hear it from you. Especially if it’s in a rude manner. When someone is intentionally rude about my horse, a reply of “mmm okay well I think I’m going to go now” usually suffices.
Last weekend, I invited my friend over to ride with me. Horse is boarded at a very nice facility, the barn owner is also the trainer and has always been nice to me and good to her working students, and there are nice, happy, drama-free boarders. We went in the evening so no one was around. I had never really seen my friend ride, but she says she foxhunted and evented and used to ride green horses all the time. She had also been a working student at this barn. I figured she could ride well enough on my horse…he is well-schooled enough that you could put a nervous rider on him (like I did the afternoon before) and he would pack you around on a loose rein, or you could ride him more like a dressage horse and he will be responsive to your leg, seat, and rein aids.
The friend I had on him the night before has only done hunters, is a timid rider with little confidence, and she hadn’t ridden in a while. I put her on him, taught her how to ask him to come on the bit/get round, and move him laterally. She did a great job on him, even jumping (where all you need to do is apply leg to the jump and let him have his head), and even gained more confidence by the end of her ride. My “amazing great talented” rider friend, however, did not do such a good job.
I hopped on first, he was a saint, so I put her up. She was on him probably fifteen minutes and it was a fight the entire time. Miserable to watch. I tried to give her some polite advice on how to get him on the bit/to relax/to canter/to bend/everything, but she ignored every piece of advice. If that wasn’t bad enough, she INSULTED my horse the entire time, got angry, and started losing her temper WITH HIM. 
“He’s resisting all my aids and I’m asking correctly”…“He’s really heavy on the bit”…“He’s so heavy on the forehand at the canter”…“He is soooo lazy”…“He keeps running at the jump”…“He’s so tense and won’t listen”…“He won’t even canter”…etc, etc…Pair that with obvious frustration with my poor horse, and it was a mess. We had one small jump set up, and she would lap around the ring doing the SAME thing to try to fix it. Each time, she would grab a tight, tense hold of his mouth before the jump, which does nothing for him other than making him more uptight, and then she would pull back on his mouth over the jump. I tried to give her advice on how to get a good jump out of him…“If you relax your reins, he’ll come into it steadier without rushing and find his own distance” but she changed nothing about her riding. I also reminded her many times to release over the jump, but again, she actually pulled BACK each time. My honest, honest horse continued each time and went steadily after each jump, but it was awful to watch.
I was so insulted because he IS actually well-schooled…not automatic, but he WILL give you exactly what you want if you ask correctly. If you don’t know how to ask correctly? I can teach you in two minutes and you can accomplish it, OR just let him on a loose rein and he’ll go around very relaxed and steady. Needless to say she will never be on my horses again after bragging about her abilities, then riding him absolutely horribly, then not taking any of my advice, while insulting him the entire time. :mad:
Oh yeah, and she also insulted everything about the barn and owner while she was there. Everything down to how it’s overpriced for having electric tape fencing around the pond instead of “real” fencing, and how the flashing lightbulb in the utility room is really awful and needs to be fixed, and how the owner/trainer rides really badly and weird. She’s not even my trainer, but I think she rides nicely and all her horses go well and relaxed. This friend just sucks!
