When to let go (euthanize)?

[McGurk]

Two things to add on to the already excellent advice you’ve been given.

One, over my time with horses (and dogs and cats) and many euths, the regrets I have are only for the ones that I could have done sooner and waited. There is not a single instance where I wished I had waited longer.

Two, IMO and IME, if you’ve made the decision, go ahead and get it done. Give yourself a day to spoil him rotten with his favorite things and treats, and then let him go. Making the decision and then waiting for a future date to do it is torture; you will question and second guess yourself everytime you see him, and if he declines further before the date arrives, you’ll feel awful. If your mind’s made up, schedule the vet for the next available time ETA; and stick to it no matter what. He may dramatically improve the day after you schedule the euth. Keep the schedule no matter, or I promise, he’ll decline rapidly as soon as you put it off.

So, so sorry you have to deal with this. The ones that aren’t absolutely clear cut in terms of quality of life are the worst. (((hugs)))

[Abbie.S]

@Simkie

Put this one to bed 100%. No one–no one–has all the information you do about his disease, outlook, and current status. What other people think doesn’t matter, and there are a whole lot of people out there who would do wrong in a case like this, anyway.

Yup.

OP, I put down a 9yo Appendix mare in 2016. She was beautiful, shiny and looked fantastic right up until the day she passed. But her body was a lemon with multiple chronic physical degenerative conditions that were not going to get better with time, only worse. I could have let her live out her life until she started to show me that she was starting to get worse but to what end? She was already uncomfortable without daily Previcox, required therapeutic shoeing up front to stay pasture sound and she was NINE. That’s a lot of potential years of feeling subpar before the big decline. It wasn’t worth it for me or her. She went quietly on a good day: it was the last thing I could do for her.

I told no one at the barn except the owner. I had that same though - people are going to look at this horse and wonder why I’m doing this, judge me, etc. But at the end of the day it was no one’s business but mine and I needed to accept that their opinions were none of my business, either.

You are doing the right thing. It sucks. It will always suck. But your horse doesn’t know anything other than what he feels right now.

I kept everything the same as far as management up until the euthanasia. No feed changes, no care changes, farrier/vet/meds all stayed the same. You could view it as throwing money, I chose to view it as one of the last kindnesses I could give my horse because she deserved everything I could offer her right up until the end.

[Junior123]

OP, hugs and my sympathy, I can completely relate…

Warning - this is long, but since it is the exact same situation, my hope is in posting it vs. pm, that it may help someone down the road as well.
I lost one to chronic kidney failure two and a half years ago. He was 21 and I had owned him for 20 of those years. He had very vague symptoms the prior couple of years before the diagnosis. Not sick, not lame, just not himself. My initial thought was Lyme, but he tested (Cornell test) negative. Since it sounds like your horse is going down the same path mine did, here’s somewhat of a timeline at the end:

Mid June - vet recommended running the standard CBC bloodwork to check for anything out of whack since the horse had been mildly NQR for so long. Kidney values weren’t good. Not horrible at that point, but not great.

Mid July - recheck showed significant worsening. He also had a tremendous amount of plaque build up on his teeth - the vet explained its relation to the kidney failure, but I don’t remember exactly what. By that point his deteriorating condition was noticeable. I asked the vet how long he thought the horse might have. His answer was anywhere from 3 to 6 months up to a year, maybe two.

First three weeks of August - by this point it was obvious the horse was not going to have a whole lot longer. He had dropped a lot of weight and he had no appetite. I had him on daily dex and a full tube of ulcer guard. At first it helped a little, but after a short time it didn’t seem to do anything. I did give him this until the end. He was grouchy. He didn’t want groomed, the only thing I could use on him was a soft brush.

Third week of August - I made the call to the vet and scheduled that final appointment for the next week.

After two years of vague symptoms without a lot of change, he went downhill very fast at the end. You may experience the same with your horse. The vet may have given you an amount of time, but don’t expect that to be the case.

I wish I’d have done it sooner. But, even after five decades of owning horses, this was the first time I’d had one with kidney failure. While I knew he would not get better, I was desperately searching for any information I could find.

Hoopoe’s first two lines are right. While I couldn’t stay away (I own my farm), the last few weeks I woke up every morning with a horrible sense of dread. So, please allow your feelings to help guide you. And, the number I saw was 75% kidney function LOSS by the time symptoms are bad enough that a diagnosis is sought.

As all the other replies have said, sooner is much better - especially with this condition as the chance of a sudden rapid decline is very possible.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

[reithme2]

Thank you all so much for your feedback.

Vet had told me one year was her best guess but to expect a steady decline in weight/condition and to definitely be ready to let him go when he stops eating.

I talked to my husband and some unbiased friends and I think I’ll call Monday to schedule an apt Friday at the clinic. That gives me some time with unseasonably warm and sunny weather and I think a Friday will make the most sense as I’ve already been too distracted at work over this.

Horse just had a farrier apt today and I told farrier before he came so I wouldnt totally lose it at the apt but it ended up happening anyways and several other boarders were around offered sympathy and different pieces of advice. While they are all correct that he seems better than he was earlier in the winter (as far as appetite) I think its because he’s been on ulcerguard for the last month and that is keeping his apetitie up. Hes dropping weight and isnt shedding his GIANT winter coat even though every other horse around here is and is often caught in the pasture just pawing at the snow which I dont think is typical behavior.

I already felt a bit better seeing him today knowing I kind of have a plan/decision. The idea of it being celebration seems easier to manage over a week than months. I’ll sleep on it over the weekend but feeling good so far. Hoping to take him on a few walk hacks around the property and stuff his face with all his favorites.

It seems the consensus, by far, is better too early than too late. I agree I think its just harder to ‘pull the trigger’ than I thought it would be. Even today at the barn the thought ‘well maybe just a few more weeks’ crossed my mind - but I think that is just going to make it harder on me.

[pony_grandma]

I have a 30 yr old pony with Cushings. I regret not doing something before the frozen ground hit. My family pressures me to ‘try’ when I know what the result is when it is at a point that it is a one way street. Now I am double blanketing bc his body can’t hold heat. I KNOW BETTER and it still got me. I told the family to prepare to say their goodbyes this year.

It’s mind control you know the answer. {{{hugs}}}

[SLW]

((Hugs)) Reithme2. Better to give them a humane passing 2 weeks or 2 months before Gods plan than one hour too late.

You’ve done right by your horse and he is blessed to have been loved by you.

[arabhorse2]

OP, you have my sympathy and good thoughts.

It’s always difficult to let one go, but let me share two stories of two different horses.

My best and brightest had a seizure back in November of 2006. He lost his footing and went down, but got back up in about a minute. I had the vet out, but they couldn’t make any kind of discernable diagnosis. He started to lose weight, although showed no other physical signs that he was deteriorating. I decided it was too dangerous to ride him any longer, and he was officially retired. With the weight loss and being 25 y/o, it was an easy decision.

I changed around his feed/supplements and he stopped losing weight, but just wasn’t thriving. In July of 2007, he had another seizure. It was so bad he fell and broke his pelvis, as well as bit his tongue when he fell. I called the vet, who was at least an hour away. I stood with that horse, who had been my constant companion for 21 years, and tried to comfort him while he was in pain and afraid. When the vet finally got there, my boy had one final seizure. I told the vet it was time, and he agreed.

I will regret for the rest of my life that I didn’t let him go sooner, and that his last day was so full of pain and fear. I wasn’t ready to let him go, so kept him going for ME until he finally broke down completely. If I had it to do over, I’d have let him enjoy spring and put him down before the heat of summer.

The second horse, who we let go in June of 2020, had a better time of it. He was 33 y/o and was eating well, was a good weight, and could still get up to dickens when he was in the mood. However, he had cancerous tumors that had started to erupt through his skin. As soon as I had a diagnosis of cancer we put him down on a day we chose, after feeding him all his favorite foods and grooming him. He went quietly and quickly, in no pain or fear, and with people who cared for him at his head. I regret nothing about his passing. It was done right the second time.

You have my support with putting your boy down before he has more bad days than good. Don’t listen to the naysayers or ‘what iffers’. It’s better, easier, and more kind to let them go when it’s not a catastrophe. It’ll be easier on everyone, including you and your horse.

Put him down, then come back here. We’ll be more than willing to help you through his loss.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

OP, you’ve gotten a lot of really excellent advice here. Almost all of us have had to make this choice. It’s never, EVER easy, but you will be at peace with it one day.

I lost a cat to kidney failure last fall. He was diagnosed when he was still eating well, but had lost a lot of weight and wasn’t himself. Within three weeks, he was gone. By the last day, he couldn’t maintain his own body temperature, was wearing a little dog coat, and would eat nothing. It was extremely quick, and he was extremely ill that last day or two. I regret not letting him go sooner. I did not make that mistake with my other cat, who had congestive heart failure.

I’ve put down several horses in the last ten years - colic, catastrophic injury, illness, old age. The question I now ask myself is: will the animal ever be better than they are, right now? If there is no hope, and there is no cure, then the answer becomes easier. You get to control how he lives his last days, and you get to control how he leaves the world. Give him that last gift of a kind, painless end, knowing you’ve done everything you can do for him. Knowing that he will only decline further, and there’s no way to know how far, how fast, I would definitely not wait.

Hugs to you. Spoil him rotten for a day, then let him go in peace.

[walktrot]

This is one of the best articles I’ve ever read about this painful reality of horse ownership. Trainer Julie Goodnight’s horse Eddie, dropped dead in his tracks in the arena. The article is thoughtful and realistic. She talks about planning ahead and dealing with the event itself, and afterwards.

Dealing with the Death of a Horse

My horse is 26 and I had to move him to a new barn from his home of almost 20 years. It’s long and complicated involving the health of the barn owner. He wasn’t getting the care he should have and the only solution was to move. He wasn’t doing well, but it didn’t register with me how much he had declined. He was pasture boarded. What kicked me into action was the evening I was turning him and he didn’t want to go through he gate. Standing close to him, I had a profound feeling. He was telling me “I don’t want to go out there, why are you making me do this.” A couple of days later we went to the perfect barn with the perfect barn owner. Within a couple of months he gained his weight back and is thriving. A specialist has his knee functioning and lameness is almost resolved. I was informed he has revived his title of Mr Meet and Greet. His stall with run is by the parking lot. He likes to observe his surroundings.

When the reality of his condition sank in I kicked myself for not paying more attention. His farrier since day 1 had the same realization. The new BO said had he stayed at the old barn much longer he probably would have shut down and I would have lost him. It is not the first time she has cared for horses in similar condition.

I read Julie’s article again and realized some of my plans need to change. Better now than in the midst of a crisis. You know when it’s the right time. Let him splurge on his favorite snacks and he will go peacefully. Hugs.

[cllane1]

OP and others, I’m sorry you’re facing this but I’m glad to read this thread because earlier this week I almost posted the exact same question. I have a 26 y.o. TB who always has a tough time In winter and always perks up in the spring/summer. It’s getting warmer here and the grass is coming in so I thought we were over the hump. But last Saturday he was too wobbly to balance on 3 feet for the farrier, and while we were trimming one of the others he went down to roll and couldn’t leverage himself back up. He kicked like he was panicking or seizing. I ran out and help brace him behind and he was able to pop back up and went trotting off like nothing was wrong. But that decided me. I’ve been terrified all week that he’d go down while I was at work.

So the appointment is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, and dang if he hasn’t been looking just fine all week. I was second-guessing myself until I read this thread. But I spent some time with him last night, grooming and getting his mane and tail all nice and I feel like it’s such a gift to have had some good days this week and I feel a lot of peace with the decision.

[reithme2]

@cllane1 - I’m putting my guy down this afternoon as well.

I was at peace with the choice but did think it was ‘early’ - however after making this call I’m noticing some things that make me glad I have an apt. The horse has been getting up and down and pawing a lot and seems to struggle to get up. He also pinned his ears when I hopped on to walk him around bareback, one last time.

I’m at peace with the decision and glad we’ll have one last sunny morning with him.

[Arelle]

Oh, hugs to you @reithme2 (and @cllane1!)

A life well lived, with caring owners, who put aside their sad/hard/difficult emotions to give such a wonderful gift to the animals who owe us nothing.

You guys are top notch and it’s so, so much better to have a peaceful, sunny close to this chapter that to go out, swinging and scared.

[JBCool]

Hugs, prayers, and peace to both @Arelle and @reithme2. Will keep you both in my heart today.

[cllane1]

My guy went very peacefully and I feel glad he’s up there all young and strong again. One of my other horses is pretty upset, and oddly enough it’s not my other oldie, who was his best friend; it’s my younger horse who bossed him around.

Thinking of you @reithme2 and wishing you peace tonight.

[McGurk]

@reithme2,

Thinking of you, and wishing your old guy a swift and safe journey to greener pastures.

{{{Hugs}}}

[B_and_B]

Hugs, I am glad and sad for you.

[She_s_Pure_Gold]

Hugs to all of you facing this decision. No judgement at all here, and remember from an old thread and poster- “This it be right.” Be kind to yourselves.