Maybe copy parts of this article and show it to your local sand quarry. Might have the right terminology to help them understand what you’re looking for. Or, rather than ask for a specific sand you want, just ask them what kinds of sand they offer at that quarry, and you can research from there whether it has the properties you want.
It’s similar with rock, seems like every region varies in what terminology they use.
Agree with clanter, you do not want to ship sand from far away if you can help it, unless you’re made of gold.
ETA: This description of the properties may help: “cleaned and screened, medium to coarse, hard, sharp sand.”
And don’t settle just for talking to the first person who answered the phone! “Hi, I am looking to place an order for about XXX cu. yards of sand, but it’s for a specialty purpose. So I need to talk to someone first who can discuss the details of the types of sand offered at this quarry. Who is the right person for me to speak to?”