I just have to say - I find it remarkable that Properetiquette (ironic name, ha) and GingerJumper are the same age. Their posts are of incredibly different calibre, and even if GJ is an usually gifted English student or mature for her age, PE, you could take a tip or two from that. Especially since you’re essentially posting here looking for opportunities, presentation is key. That’s both attitude and taking the extra 2 minutes to type out full words, and use proper punctuation, capitilization, and paragraphing.
Now, on to my “reality check” story…
I’m 23. When I was your age, I also had dreams of competing in the eqs. My goal was more CET than Maclay (I’m Canadian), but essentially the same idea. Problem was, while my parents were great about paying for my lessons, they couldn’t afford to buy me a horse or lease one suitable.
At no point did I whine or complain or ask that someone give me horse because I was the poor broke girl who had potential and talent but no means to get herself to the top. I worked my butt off for opportunities.
Opportunities - purposefully vague. When I left my PC-type, draft/TB schoolie lesson barn and started being a “working student” for a local BNT/breeder, I didn’t go in there saying. “I’ll do xyz to ride in the CET.” I went in there saying, “I’ll do xyz to ride, at all. To be coached by a superior trainer. To observe the kind of training and riding I want to attain. To be near the kind horseflesh I would like to someday own.”
For years I worked for him. I watched, listened, learned, and rode. I shovelled shit. I set jumps. I tacked up, I cooled out. I rarely showed, because I would typically ride babies and when they were show-ready, more often than not they either sold or were passed off to someone who happened to have parents who were better able to pave their way financially. I saw riders equally - and even less - talented than myself go much, much further in the show ring than I was ever able to because they had the means financially.
So what did I get out of it? Invaluable lessons, to start. And my mare.
After all was said and done, my (still current) coach offered me a yearling that he bred at literally half the price he’d ask anyone else. AND the option to pay for her over time, at my own rate.
She’s three now, and I couldn’t ask for a better mount. He allowed me to own the kind of horse I wouldn’t be able to afford for years, and I’m forever thankful for that.
So, OP… when everyone is telling you to be realistic, they aren’t trying to be mean. They’re speaking from experience. You will find many more opportunities by saying, “I will do xyz to ride” than by saying, “I will do xyz to get a free ride on a horse who can do the Maclay”.