WWYD - Struggling to afford senior

[blitz716]

Looking for a bit of advice.

My life has changed pretty drastically the last few years. I own a 21 year old mare that’s been out of work for about a year. She has some arthritis in her hocks, stifle, and probably her back. She trots and canters pretty freely in pasture but riding her would require quite a bit in terms of money and time towards maintenance that I just don’t have right now. She also has vision issues in one eye that make her a bit unsuitable for trail work since she can spook pretty badly because of it, and trails is all available to her at the barn she’s at (cousins backyard farm so it’s very cheap in terms of board). I’m the primary breadwinner with two small children, my SO makes very little and works nights so we don’t pay for childcare.

Mentally she seems fully in tact, she loves where she lives and it’s as cheap as I’d be able to find and still be able to make sure she’s okay (within a 2-hour drive). The idea of selling makes me super uncomfortable with her age and physical limitations, and the idea of putting her down when she’s mentally 100% seems unfair as well but I don’t know what to do. I can’t lease her out without investing quite a bit to manage the arthritis (she would need adequan at least every 6 months and probably hock injections though it’s hard to tell exactly where she is physically now but I’m judging from what I was watching last time she was in work).

I love this horse beyond and I feel destroyed that I’m even considering putting her down over finances but I don’t know what else to do and thought some objective feedback on the situation would help. Right now our household plus animal bills are putting me in a deficit each month and I know I can’t keep doing this.

[Ambitious_Kate]

Is the horse the most expensive animal?

[Ambitious_Kate]

1. ask your cousin what you can do for her to reduce board even further

2. take an inventory of animals and see if some others can be more easily removed

3. bath and body works hires folks to do customer service at home. Not great pay, just under 20 to start, but good to work for, and work from home on your computer. Additional income.

[Obsidian_Fire]

I would, and have, PTS. And yes, it sucks and you feel awful and guilty and you cry. I get it, and for the same reasons you listed.
Know this: horses don’t know “tomorrow”. They only live for right now, today.
The saying goes ‘better a day too early than a day too late’. She’s not rideable, you’re already in a deficit each month, she’s not saleable, so what is best? Taking on another job, when you already have 2 small children, no. They need you too.

Hugs to you, it’s a tough choice.

[steelerino]

#2 is a very interesting response

[goodhors]

The second response is what I would tell you. It is never easy, but when they are such a huge burden, have so many issues you can’t afford to fix, it is better to let them go on a nice sunny day. No one can run on a deficit, put your family in financial danger, because of your horse. She would come to a bad end with her issues, perhaps hurt someone, if you gave her away.

I am sorry you need to make this choice. We have an older horse or two, and will be making this same choice one of these days ourselves. Bred them, raised and used them, so we have a lot of ourselves invested in them. Very, very hard choices.

My sympathies.

[lenapesadie]

@blitz716

Right now our household plus animal bills are putting me in a deficit each month and I know I can’t keep doing this.

Nor should you keep doing this.

If the horse is unsound of body and vision and you can’t afford to continue to care for her then euthanasia is your most compassionate option.

[blitz716]

I already do chores 2 days a week to keep board low. I have to bring my kids and ones an infant bc as soon as I get out of work, SO starts his.

My horse is a major expense still given board, farrier, and vet. Nothing else comes close.

I could do a work-from-home after kids go to bed if it’s extremely flexible hours as with kids, they don’t always stay asleep and with my full-time, I work a night at least once every two weeks. I’ll check that option out.

[blitz716]

Thank you. I feel horrible. I wouldn’t give her away because I know the risk of her ending up in an awful situation and she doesn’t deserve that.

I also feel incredibly selfish for devoting so much of our family’s limited resources because I have an expensive pet. It’s just a crummy situation.

[LCDR]

Start asking around, starting with your vet, for folks to put out feelers for someone interested in giving a forever home to an older companion horse. I have asked my vet to keep eyes open for just such a horse, and there must be other people like me out there.

[DQHubby]

Euthanizing your beloved aged mare is the kindest, unselfish, and right option for her well being and your family’s financial and home life’s well being. IMO,selling or giving her away just dumps the burden of her health issues and well being onto someone else. You will no longer have any control over her future care and well being. Making the end of life decision is the hardest one to make for our beloved animals, but it needs to be done one day too early than one day too late. Hugs, as I know the sorrow.

[Lah0808]

I agree, I really don’t think I’d feel comfortable trying to find this mare another home and hoping they do right by her.

OP, I actually really get it because I found myself in a similar position recently. My gelding was 29 or 30. Fully retired, had cushings and the related issues that go with it. I reached a point this spring where I either needed to put him down or move him and increase how much I was already spending to keep him going. When I retired him about 3.5 years prior, I said to myself as long as he can maintain his standard of living on the basic pasture board retirement set up he was in, he could just do his thing. Well we hit that crossroads this spring, he was miserable on pasture board in the summer and it wouldn’t be fair to make him keep living that way. Financially, I just couldn’t justify moving him and spending even more every month than I already was to keep him going. So I put him down. It was very, very hard to make that decision and go through with it.

It is not going to be easy for you to make that decision to put your mare down but as an outside perspective, it’s probably the right one for you and the mare. I’m sorry you are going through this.

[McGurk]

I am so sorry you are gong through this and have to make this decision. It sounds like you have a awful lot on your plate.

You analysis of the situation is absolutely accurate. You just need to give youself permission to take the correct action and forgive yourself for it. Schedule a time for the euth and spoil her rotten in between now and then; and then let her go knowing that you gave her a good life AND a good death, which is the essence of what we owe our companion animals.

I am in a not disimilar situation. I have 3 20yo + retirees. Right now, they have great quality of life with not a whole lot of expense. They live out with access to a run in shed and get basic vet and farrier care. However, the time is coming when one or two of them will need Previcoxx and/or Adequan or other medical support. At that time, I am going to have to make some tough decisions about allocating resources. But if I can’t afford what it takes to keep them comfortably and happily pasture sound, I might make the tough decision to euth them.

I choked up typing that. It’s a horrible decision to have to make. But it is the right one. I think the sense of relief you’ll feel when your sweet old mare is at peace and not only will you not have to worry about her, you won’t feel guilty about taking resources away from you family.

Best of luck to you. I am so sorry you’re going through this.

[KBC]

Every time this question comes up, I think I will quote this

@Russinka

My general view with horses (and oldies especially) is that I’m obligated to give them a good death if I can’t give them a good life. It can be a painful choice to make but at least you know they’re not suffering somewhere. Massive internet hugs, it’s not a nice position to be in

Because it sums up my belief in few words.

ETA the quote is from @Russinka

[4horses]

What about changing careers, or looking for a new job with better pay? The job market is really good right now, so if you wanted something that pays better you should try for it. Or your husband could job search for something better.

[blitz716]

Thank you all for the feedback and support. Reading your own stories does help to feel less alone in this and I deeply appreciate it. I’m going to talk to my vet about her recommendation knowing my situation and see what she says or feels comfortable with.

[Obsidian_Fire]

@blitz716

I’m going to talk to my vet about her recommendation knowing my situation and see what she says or feels comfortable with.

PLEASE do not let your vet talk you out of what is best for your situation because she “isn’t comfortable” with it. She does not pay your bills each month - you do. Remember in the end YOU are the one who lives with this, not her. Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. I know this is hard.

[candyappy]

@blitz716

I already do chores 2 days a week to keep board low. I have to bring my kids and ones an infant bc as soon as I get out of work, SO starts his.

My horse is a major expense still given board, farrier, and vet. Nothing else comes close.

Your family needs come first. I know the thought of euthanasia on a mentally sound and happy horse is almost unthinkable but it is the best option in your situation and best for her.

Horses are meant to be a joy , not a financial burden and at 21 it sounds like she has had a good life since coming to you. There is no shame/ guilt in doing what is best for all involved.

Having a vet euthanize and calling a render for disposal is a fairly economical plan. It doesn’t mean you love her any less or are taking the easy way out. Many of us have been in a financial bind where horses are concerned and have had to make very hard decisions.

I have and looking back I knew later they were the right thing to do. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

Hugs and jingles to you.

I can’t say I’ve ever really been where you are, because it’s just me and I’ve never been in the situation where I couldn’t keep the horses at home and afford them. But I have been where you are in terms of an older horse who isn’t sound, and what do you do with them.

Is it possible that either you or your SO could find a job that pays more, or find one that allows you to work from home? I don’t want to pry or anything, but is the horse the only thing making you go into a deficit every month? If not, then there are other areas you probably need to look at, in addition to her.

If these are not options, then you should know that your mare has had a great life with you. You have done everything you can do for her: you’ve kept her healthy, happy, safe, and as sound as you can. The last gift you can give her is a peaceful and kind crossing, knowing that your focus needs to be on your family for the time being.

[LCDR]

There is a place and a time for equine euthanasia, but to kill a happy, peaceful horse is wrong. It is not a gift to the dead horse. It is selfish.

How much more money than you currently make do you need to keep the mare alive?

Instead of counseling euthanasia, we should be talking about a “go fund me” page to save this mare.