Thank you. I feel horrible. I wouldn’t give her away because I know the risk of her ending up in an awful situation and she doesn’t deserve that.
I also feel incredibly selfish for devoting so much of our family’s limited resources because I have an expensive pet. It’s just a crummy situation.
Start asking around, starting with your vet, for folks to put out feelers for someone interested in giving a forever home to an older companion horse. I have asked my vet to keep eyes open for just such a horse, and there must be other people like me out there.
Euthanizing your beloved aged mare is the kindest, unselfish, and right option for her well being and your family’s financial and home life’s well being. IMO,selling or giving her away just dumps the burden of her health issues and well being onto someone else. You will no longer have any control over her future care and well being. Making the end of life decision is the hardest one to make for our beloved animals, but it needs to be done one day too early than one day too late. Hugs, as I know the sorrow.
I agree, I really don’t think I’d feel comfortable trying to find this mare another home and hoping they do right by her.
OP, I actually really get it because I found myself in a similar position recently. My gelding was 29 or 30. Fully retired, had cushings and the related issues that go with it. I reached a point this spring where I either needed to put him down or move him and increase how much I was already spending to keep him going. When I retired him about 3.5 years prior, I said to myself as long as he can maintain his standard of living on the basic pasture board retirement set up he was in, he could just do his thing. Well we hit that crossroads this spring, he was miserable on pasture board in the summer and it wouldn’t be fair to make him keep living that way. Financially, I just couldn’t justify moving him and spending even more every month than I already was to keep him going. So I put him down. It was very, very hard to make that decision and go through with it.
It is not going to be easy for you to make that decision to put your mare down but as an outside perspective, it’s probably the right one for you and the mare. I’m sorry you are going through this.
I am so sorry you are gong through this and have to make this decision. It sounds like you have a awful lot on your plate.
You analysis of the situation is absolutely accurate. You just need to give youself permission to take the correct action and forgive yourself for it. Schedule a time for the euth and spoil her rotten in between now and then; and then let her go knowing that you gave her a good life AND a good death, which is the essence of what we owe our companion animals.
I am in a not disimilar situation. I have 3 20yo + retirees. Right now, they have great quality of life with not a whole lot of expense. They live out with access to a run in shed and get basic vet and farrier care. However, the time is coming when one or two of them will need Previcoxx and/or Adequan or other medical support. At that time, I am going to have to make some tough decisions about allocating resources. But if I can’t afford what it takes to keep them comfortably and happily pasture sound, I might make the tough decision to euth them.
I choked up typing that. It’s a horrible decision to have to make. But it is the right one. I think the sense of relief you’ll feel when your sweet old mare is at peace and not only will you not have to worry about her, you won’t feel guilty about taking resources away from you family.
Best of luck to you. I am so sorry you’re going through this.
Every time this question comes up, I think I will quote this
Because it sums up my belief in few words.
ETA the quote is from @Russinka
What about changing careers, or looking for a new job with better pay? The job market is really good right now, so if you wanted something that pays better you should try for it. Or your husband could job search for something better.
Thank you all for the feedback and support. Reading your own stories does help to feel less alone in this and I deeply appreciate it. I’m going to talk to my vet about her recommendation knowing my situation and see what she says or feels comfortable with.
PLEASE do not let your vet talk you out of what is best for your situation because she “isn’t comfortable” with it. She does not pay your bills each month - you do. Remember in the end YOU are the one who lives with this, not her. Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. I know this is hard.
Your family needs come first. I know the thought of euthanasia on a mentally sound and happy horse is almost unthinkable but it is the best option in your situation and best for her.
Horses are meant to be a joy , not a financial burden and at 21 it sounds like she has had a good life since coming to you. There is no shame/ guilt in doing what is best for all involved.
Having a vet euthanize and calling a render for disposal is a fairly economical plan. It doesn’t mean you love her any less or are taking the easy way out. Many of us have been in a financial bind where horses are concerned and have had to make very hard decisions.
I have and looking back I knew later they were the right thing to do. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Hugs and jingles to you.
I can’t say I’ve ever really been where you are, because it’s just me and I’ve never been in the situation where I couldn’t keep the horses at home and afford them. But I have been where you are in terms of an older horse who isn’t sound, and what do you do with them.
Is it possible that either you or your SO could find a job that pays more, or find one that allows you to work from home? I don’t want to pry or anything, but is the horse the only thing making you go into a deficit every month? If not, then there are other areas you probably need to look at, in addition to her.
If these are not options, then you should know that your mare has had a great life with you. You have done everything you can do for her: you’ve kept her healthy, happy, safe, and as sound as you can. The last gift you can give her is a peaceful and kind crossing, knowing that your focus needs to be on your family for the time being.
There is a place and a time for equine euthanasia, but to kill a happy, peaceful horse is wrong. It is not a gift to the dead horse. It is selfish.
How much more money than you currently make do you need to keep the mare alive?
Instead of counseling euthanasia, we should be talking about a “go fund me” page to save this mare.
No. That is selfish.
OP, euthanasia in this case is not a bad thing to do. You have given your mare a great life and would be giving her an ending with dignity.
I understand how hard it must be though. But trying to work extra is not fair to your children giving your already busy schedule. They are still close to the beginning of their life for your mare is getting towards the end of hers. And it sounds like it is a life that was well lived and cared for.
Explain.
If the OP had scads of discretionary income, she could perhaps keep this mare going as a retiree for a few more years.
She doesn’t have scads of money. She is struggling to make ends meet and the money she’s currently spending on the horse needs to go to her family; NOW, not at some future time when the mare ALSO needs senior feed, injections or Previcoxx.
If you would like to start a Go Fund Me for this, there are literally thousands of horses and owners in this exact situation right now. Pick any one, pick a dozen, the question becomes, do I spend my limited resources on maintaining a retired horse, do I spend it on a useful one, or do I spend it someplace else?
This is what life is like for horse owners of modest means.
Suggesting that the OP consider other options is cruel, unless you’re willing to pick up the tab yourself for this mare’s care. Indefinitely. (GoFundMe is great for short term acute needs. But to subsidize a senior horse for the rest of its (un)natural life? Not so much. If you know of a fundraising venue for indefinite ongoing support, let me know. I’ve got three candidates.)
As someone stated above; horses don’t understand past or future, they only understand life in the present. She’s had a good life, she deserves a good, peaceful death without pain.
So suggestion of any other option other than ending the horses’s life is cruel?
And the butwhatabout defense just doesn’t cut it. Sure, there are likely hundreds of horse owners out there who are struggling financially to support their forever horses. In this case, OP says her horse is living happily. Killing the horse seems a bit like declaring bankruptcy, except that the debt you wipe out is a happily living creature.
This, all of this. She is older, unsound, has vision problems. I’ll take it further, that a year too early is better than a day too late. I had euthanasias planned for two of my animals this year, a horse and a dog. Neither of them made it to their scheduled time and watching them suffer broke me more than losing them did.
I would not continue to jeopardize your family’s finances for a horse, and in her condition I would also be very uncomfortable rehoming.
But OP says she just needs Adequan or perhaps hock injections. Nothing specific about vision issue. And she is happy where she is. How did we go so quickly to putting the horse down?
Because the possible options for an unsound possibly unsafe 21 y/o horse are far, far worse than euthanasia.
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