I thank you for what you do, and if/when I get a farm I will give as many soft landings as I possibly can.
That said, you’re one in a million. 
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Thank you for your kind words. I love old broken horses. Have had a bunch. I realize I’m a unicorn and it’s probably unfair to even float the idea of contacting the vet. Because honestly if I had an old horse who needed a landing I’m not sure I’d not euthanize. Is that hubris ? I do know a couple of people who if I found out tomorrow I was dying I’d call. And I know that’s few and far between. It’s a terrible position to be in. Hope the OP finds peace with whatever decision she makes. There are no wrong answers here. You do what’s right for you and your animal.
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Yes! Most important post here!
Do what is right for you and your horse. No matter what anyone says, you (OP) are not wrong.
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Touch base with trainers too. I made it known in my boarding barn that I needed a companion horse and offers started coming out of the woodwork. I got my guy through the trainer at the barn. Had my pick of several. I think it’s a lot easier to be the one getting an old “useless” horse then it is to be the one trying to give away an old “useless” horse.
I got the impression from the OP that she wasn’t comfortable rehoming her horse.
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I just want to clarify a previous statement slightly: Continental European farms are unlikely to euthanize a horse. They are far far more likely to send it to slaughter. They don’t euthanize many horses, they send them to be processed into something useful. Are there exceptions? Certainly! As there always are but horse slaughter is an economic reality of much of the rest of the world. The non-anglophone world.
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OP, I have a retired horse that has been retired for the bulk of the 18 years I’ve owned him. Most of that time he has been boarded, and I’m sure my costs over the years would add up to an ugly figure. I have gone without so that he could be happy. With that said- if it were a dire situation (as yours sounds, building a deficit each month) I would absolutely euthanize. I also have a directive that states he is to be euthanized in the case of my passing (with money allocated to cover costs). I don’t trust a single soul to meet his needs, other than myself (god willing/contingent upon my circumstances). The way I see it- he has had a great life, wanted for nothing, and spent the bulk of it just hanging out doing horse stuff. I would rather him die healthy and happy than run the risk of him being starved, neglected, or living in pain.
Being in financial jeopardy is incredibly stressful, and you need to do what you need to do to protect your family. I have been in a place where I was one car repair or one medical bill away from not making rent, and it is awful. Your kids need to be the priority, and no one can make you feel guilty over that.
As an alternative (zipping up my flame suit here as I’m sure there are strong feelings) you may look into donating him somewhere that can use the meat for animal food, assuming he isn’t on any medications. Some hunts will accept donations for the hounds, and while most that do may only accept horses from their members, it may be worth an ask. I have an acquaintance who recently donated a very unsound horse to feed the animals at a big cat sanctuary. It’s not for everyone, but euthanasia by bullet is quick, humane, and eco friendly, and the ere may be some comfort in knowing that his passing will provide life sustaining nourishment for other animals.
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OP- do your due diligence but don’t be afraid to euth if necessary.
I found a retirement home for an permanently lame OTTB. We were selling our farm and moving across the country (for financial reasons) and simply could not afford to bring a retiree with us. At the time he was 18 with an old track injury that made him dangerous under saddle but sound, sane, and happy on the ground. We found him a home on a 100+ acre ranch in Nebraska where they did unmounted therapy. It worked out great for him because it kept his still very active mind occupied but didn’t risk him being asked to carry a rider. That was over a year ago and he’s still living his best life. I have offered to pay for end of life care on him if/when the time comes.
I realize my case is the exception and not the rule. I know these kind of homes are unicorns. That said I didn’t stop looking! There might be another option out there. If there’s not then a big field, lots of carrots, and a visit from the vet isn’t a bad ending either.
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To those who think the OP should start a GoFundMe: Please send the OP money on a monthly basis so she can cover her horse’s bills. To those who think the OP can find a retirement or companion home, please hitch your trailer, get the mare, and give her the soft landing you claim is out there.
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So, we have a:
- 21 year old horse - had a long and hopefully good life, been retired a year.
- Vision issues - which scare her enough to spook and make her dangerous.
- Arthritis in hocks, stifles and back. Arthritis is painful, in case anyone doubted that. And if she wasn’t in pain then you’d already be riding her, right?
Please read this: https://aaep.org/guidelines/euthanasia-guidelines
"A horse should not have to endure the following:
Continuous or unmanageable pain from a condition that is chronic and incurable.
A medical condition or surgical procedure that has a poor prognosis for a good quality of life.
Continuous analgesic medication and/or box stall confinement for the relief of pain for the rest of its life.
An unmanageable medical or behavioral condition that renders it a hazard to itself or its handlers."
Yes indeed, the AAEP would likely recommend euthanasia of this horse. Do many horse owners keep horses alive for years in stalls, on pain meds, and in pain and/or distress with the VERY BEST OF INTENTIONS? Yes. Should they? No.
We all know that a good death is FAR better than a painful life. Why are we all so afraid to put that into practice? I think that very often it’s for selfish reasons - the horse will be missed, the stress of euthanizing is difficult for the owner, and other people keeping horses alive who are much worse off.
And for you, OP, is the added stress of money - the feeling that your lack of it is making you ponder euthanasia. Well, in fact, an old and in pain horse is reason enough to euth.
If you can sit down with yourself and put those issues aside, what other reasons remain for keeping the mare alive? Can you think of any that don’t involve anthropomorphism (“she wants to live to see spring” or “I want a long retirement myself - so does she!” etc")?
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I put down a 21 year old horse (my first horse, who I’d owned since he was 5) when he was fat, sassy, and moderatey pasture sound on a lovely October day specifically to avoid this situation. Horses are flight animals. I can’t imagine anything more torturous for them than to be down/immobile, in pain, and helpless. I felt that I owed my boy a more dignified, peaceful ending than that.
OP, your horse has had a long life. She is unsound, losing her vision, and unlikely to find a happy ending elsewhere. She’s a strain on your family finances. There is absolutely nothing wrong with euthanasia in this situation. Please don’t let cruel people make you feel guilty for doing what you know is right for your horse and your family. ((Hugs))
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Couldn’t agree more with your whole post. To this list of reasons why I’d add fear of judgment from others (as seen above). I’m grateful to have my boys at home so that when the time comes it’s between my vet and me. I can see how it would be more difficult as a boarder.
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This this this.
There are very few horses that I would say “don’t put down” when the owner feels that they need to, and even then I put my money where my mouth was and offered to take the horse on. One was only 6, and it wasn’t his fault, just a mismatch, one just needed regular shoeing and had a very impulsive owner.
A 20-something vision-issued arthritic horse? Totally a candidate.
My heart goes out to you. Finding your mare a loving home is a challenge and even if you do find her a loving home, what happens when that loving home can no longer afford her? Unless you have someone beating down your door, it’s time to make that decision.
Much love to you.
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Do tell us how much you are willing to contribute to the horse’s monthly needs?
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OP never said the horse JUST need adequan or hock injections. OP hasn’t tried those so doesn’t know if they would work against what is cause the mare pain or if she’d just be pouring money she doesn’t have down a hole. At a minimum, she’s looking at hock & stifle arthritis & possibly back arthritis. Trying to treat back pain in an elderly horse is nothing close to certain and adequan isn’t a cure all. And then there IS a known vision problem (don’t know how you missed that in the description of the problem) that makes said mare too spooky to be safe on trails, which for me would be a deal breaker on ever trying to ride her again, even if enough $$$ & drugs made her comfortable.
I get the feeling from some of these posts recommending “just adequan & injections” or “ship the horse out of state to a cheaper area”, that a good deal of these posters either never had to tally up the actual costs of horse ownership, let alone elderly horse ownership, OR they have never been poor.
When you’re already skimping each month and still in the red, those sorts of suggestions are as tone deaf as “let them eat cake”.
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