I didnt read the whole thread…but oh my gawd. A friends sister just got engaged after 6 years of dating the guy…and she seems to think that she should get a party every month she’s engaged. She has had at least 3 engagement parties, a bachelorette party in Vegas (which is a hefty trip from VA!) and a few bridal showers. Her engagement has only been 7 months and thank goodness theyre getting married in a month. TOO MUCH.
I’m in a serious relationship…hope to get married someday. But I think it would be totally acceptable to have a “shower” for new animals!! I found kittens in the driveway 6 weeks ago…I could use a ton of canned food for them!
We should definitely start a new trend of “animal showers.” If people can get thousands of dollars in cash or gifts just for getting engaged, im sure we can a few friends to come over for a kitty party!!
I really think that my horse needs to sell wrapping paper or cookie dough or popcorn or one of the many things that my co-workers (kids) have sold to me. I’ve even joked about making a fake order form and posting it in the mail area with the other ones.
Our secretary had quite the GS Cookie franchise going. Someone brought boxes and boxes of them from her daughter, she put up a sign in her glass wall and a display of the types available.
I am IN! I also want a free pass to leave work whenever my horse is feeling poorly or needs to be picked up from his stable early or has a snow day from his pasture.
Wouldn’t pet showers be fun? Say you get a new horsie: barnmate gives you an everyday halter in your stable colors and monograms Dobbin’s name on the cheekpiece. :sadsmile:
I have a baby shower in two weeks and a housewarming shower in three weeks. The invite to the housewarming states “You do not need to buy us gifts, but if you like, we would appreciate gift cards to…”
Now hear this: have you heard of Stock the Bar parties? Guests are expected to bring bottles of liquor to stock the host’s home! :mad: This theme is also played out at bars where it’s expected everyone goes on a complete bender, buying out the bar’s supplies and staying til they throw you out hours past closing. So accompanying the wedding shower/s is Bridal Bar Crawl, Stock the Bar Party, and Bachelorette Party.
My coworker’s baby shower last year included 100 guests. She just RSVPed to her friend’s baby shower, then saw the guest list on Facebook was 150. She said if she knew it was so big she wouldn’t have gone. Apparently 100 is ok but 150 is “greedy and ghetto.” Well bless your heart! :winkgrin:
We did have a “Stock the Bar Party” but it was for our “couple’s shower.” I didn’t really want to have another party (the host always says you won’t have to plan anything, but that’s never true), but a very close family friend wanted to host something. So we invited our local friends (no overlap guests with my bridal shower), and told them to bring us booze or barware or just themselves. We’re younger, so most of our friends (especially my husband’s guy friends) VASTLY preferred that to trying to pick out housewares for us, haha.
Ours was very low key, small and inexpensive = ) My bridal shower was the same.
Plus, a lot of my friends that attended either shower just used that as their total present, which was perfectly fine with us.
We really did only have the get togethers (wedding included) to hang out and celebrate with our favorite people, not to get presents.
I totally understand the ire towards brides that have 4 showers/engagement parties, far away bachelorette parties, and destination weddings. It can feel a bit overwhelming, especially if you are a close friend and are invited to everything! In that case, I usually just let them know I can only afford the trip and a small present and it’s fine = ) If you are not a close friend and get invited to all of those things, well, I try to give the bride the benefit of the doubt and figure she just wanted to make sure everyone felt included. Weddings are rather stressful to plan, especially if a particularly pushy family member gets too involved (that’s often where the multiple/inappropriate invites come from.)
But now I really want a new dog/cat/horse shower, haha.
If I get engaged, I’d probably register for a few NICE things (china sets, etc) that I don’t feel I need as a singleton, but I’d really like to figure out how to get my parents some wedding/baby/all that jazz payback for my THIRTY-FIVE first cousins. And whatever relatives they’ve ever given to on Mom’s side. (Yeah, that is thirty-five first cousins in DAD’S family.) The bonus of being #36 of 37 is I don’t think it really occurs to my cousins nad once-removeds (many of whom are also older than me) to send me invitations, not to mention of course I doubt most have any idea where I live, but God knows at this point how many things my parents have got hit up for over the years. Now, my three cousins from Dad’s younger brother (Dad’s second youngest of thirteen) are one thing, one is Dad’s goddaughter, we see them all the time, but some of the others? I constantly have to ask my mom who these people are.
And I suppose I wouldn’t mind a bridal shower and a bachelorette and a sip-and-see and bridesmaids’ luncheon and wedding breakfasts (no kidding–my friend married a well-off Houston boy and what’s considered socially REQUIRED is mind-boggling)…if someone else planned them. I have an idea what I’d do for a wedding but otherwise? Planning and booking and buying things nad organizing is way too much like work.
I only make wedding and shower presents now unless I’m really close to the person. Thank goodness I can sew! I got invited to 13 baby showers in 14 months, 4 weddings, and 2 engagement parties. I actually opened an Etsy shop once I finished making millions of blankets, bibs, hooded towels, placemats, table cloths, toe bags, necklaces, earrings, etc.
I’ve never had a big party and gotten gifts Not even for graduation!Someday I’ll get married, but even then I’m only going to register for practical gifts!
I take sick days for “family illness” when one of my pets needs vet care that cant be arranged around work hours.
Some of my coworkers know. The higher-ups? - “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” still has its uses! :winkgrin:
I became a re-rider at the age of 38 having taken a 13 break from horse ownership. As my mare arrived via the the equine shipper from Oklahoma I was given a surprise baby shower by my family. It was wonderful and much, much appreciated. The mare and I made out very well with lots of cool gifts but mostly it was appreciated by the fact that they understood she was my baby as I never wanted any human children. :winkgrin:
Oh, no. I’m not supporting more gimmee culture expansion. At least with weddings and kids, there’s an element of realism that the gift recipients are the beneficiaries. Can you imagine the average dog/horse/cat shower?
“Yes, Pumpkin was in a kill shelter/at a slaughterhouse when I rescued him. He’s a rescue. I am So Selfless.”
Thank you, no. I do not want to have to buy someone expensive gifts AND kiss their saintly, rescuing ass too.
[QUOTE=Bicoastal;5733809]
I was whining to a sibling who was not very sympathetic. When I said I’m going to have to have a Dog Shower after I attend 30+ showers over the course of 10 years or I’ll shrivel up into a raisin, she warned me I was being witchy and “it’s tradition.” The tradition of brides not leaving their family home until the wedding is tradition. The wedded couple moves into a new home of their own so yes they need all this stuff. A co-habitating couple? Not so.[/QUOTE]
Whistles in admiration at your moxie. Apparently, this Just Isn’t Said. I’ll go a step further and say that it used to be tradition that girls were either virgins on their wedding day or had no tangible evidence that they weren’t, aka a kid or a shared 1-bedroom apartment.
Honey, I live in the Deep South, where showers and debutantes and parties for every fricking occasion are de rigeur. Debutantes - hmm. Used to be so that prospective brides could be shown off to prospective grooms. and the girls were supposed to be virgins. So in this age of sex on the second date and cohabitating at college, WHY WHY WHY must this tradition continue???
Engagement parties - hot damn! Hosts number in the twenties, parties cost what a car would and who really cares that Susie and Biff finally did the ring thing and set a date?
Showers - again, Susie and Biff have been bopping for years already, and she doesn’t even WEAR underwear. They eat out every night, cause Susie didn’t take HomeEc and handling those pots and pans might mess up her nails.
These “tool showers” for the groom…all he really wants is a cooler and a scope for his rifle, cause he ain’t Mr Handy around the house.
The Wedding Registry - Just Plain Redonkulous. When I got married, back in the 70s, I registered at Dillards ONLY and did not “create a list”. Tacky. The only reason I registered at all was so that the old folks could call, tell them to send a $30 gift over and Dillards delivered. Plus my mama was Old School and demanded it.
Destination Weddings - the HEIGHT of tacky UNLESS it is a family-only deal. Asking/expecting hordes fo people to fly to Cozumel to watch you make your bonking legal, unless you foot the bill for all the guests, is selfish and rude. For gods sake, get married in a church or under a tree somewhere and take your own arses on a trip. Your wedding is WAYYYYYYYY more inportant to you than it is to anyone else.
I’m done venting now, thank you all for coming.
Let it go on record, when I got married and had a (first) baby in the same 12 months-I had 1, count them, 1 shower. A baby shower. No bridal shower, no couples shower, not even a “real” rehearsal dinner-FYI, my MOH sucked.
We used to do Foal showers for those of us that were breeding for “personal use”. I think thoses are perfectly acceptable.
I don’t usually do showers, baby, bridal or otherwise. Now, Maybe I could get behind a horsewarming party though.
Great idea I would love to attend a shower for a new pet and get them something! It’d be fun to meet the new furry friend too.
I am trying not to have a baby shower I do not like the idea of asking people for gifts nor do I want them to feel obligated to purchase me something. I guess its going to depend on how pushy grandma is lol. Grandpa already volunteered to get his new grandbaby their crib.
Wow, so much bitterness in this thread!! I guess I just don’t understand the anger. If you don’t like it, don’t go?
I’ve been very happy to be included in my friends’ weddings - even the showers! - and I hope when my time comes, my friends will be happy for me, too. If people register for things I think are ridiculous, I just don’t buy them, and instead put cash in an envelope. People are allowed to be silly and self-centered sometimes. It’s not always easy to overcome human nature
I love the idea of a “pet shower” and think I will throw one for my next friend who brings home a new pet! Nothing fancy, but an excuse to get friends together and celebrate the new furry member of the family? Sounds like fun!!!
Wow, so much bitterness in this thread!! I guess I just don’t understand the anger. If you don’t like it, don’t go?
It’s hard when you see people on a budget trying to participate in 101 wedding showers and weddings and the like. I have too many friends that I know struggle to pay bills, but fly to Las Vegas to be at the pre-wedding shower. I watched my SIL pay $180 to have a hideous dress altered for a wedding.
I used to work with a single- she qualified for WIC. We went out to lunch one day- she had 3 or 4 weddings and showers on the horizon and was trying to budget trying to buy these people crap they won’t use. It was close to when we had purchased our house and the previous owners left a bunch of what were obviously unused wedding gifts in the attic- the electric wok, the soup terrine… the punch bowl- all unopened, unused.
Please don’t encourage people to have puppy showers.
[QUOTE=magnolia73;5745483]
I have too many friends that I know struggle to pay bills, but fly to Las Vegas to be at the pre-wedding shower. I watched my SIL pay $180 to have a hideous dress altered for a wedding.
I used to work with a single- she qualified for WIC. We went out to lunch one day- she had 3 or 4 weddings and showers on the horizon and was trying to budget trying to buy these people crap they won’t use.[/QUOTE]
See, maybe I’m a jerk, but I just don’t understand that. If you don’t have the money, don’t attend/buy gifts? Slip whatever you can in a nice card (even if that’s nothing), and/or handmake a nice gift (a photo in a nice frame?) and/or provide some useful service (offering help with the wedding or pet-sitting during the honeymoon or moving or…?) and show your celebration in some way that doesn’t challenge your ability to buy groceries.
JMO of course, but any recipient who would be offended by someone “gifting within their means” is not worth the expense anyway. (Just like anyone who would be offended by a less-fancy wedding is not the person I would want there anyway.)
Not even for graduation!Someday I’ll get married, but even then I’m only going to register for practical gifts!
