Young boys in eventing?

[fordtraktor]

I wasn’t saying you force your kids to ride at all, I hope the moms on this thread with riding boys don’t interpret it that way! Your boys seem to have an interest in riding and it is great you can share that! I wish mine did but have reconciled with the fact they probably won’t! Just pointing out that the alternative is not necessarily letting them have free rein to pick anything or not commit. They can skip horses and still be raised in a non-indulgent, whatever-you-want-dear way.

My older son has an active disinterest in it so far because they intimidate him, even his very safe old pony. He loves to clean stalls, though, so he helps me with that, and he brushes the pony a lot. if I made him ride now I probably would permanently scare him off, I don’t see the point in that.

And I never enjoyed playing the piano, ever! But my kids will take lessons when they are older long enough to be able to sight read music because I think that is a useful life skill to have, to appreciate music. I don’t regret being able to do that but I do think we could have ended the torture after, say, two years when it became very clear I had no musical talent or interest and had basic skills.

[WoofNWhinny]

Some excellent points have been made on this thread, particularly about support from dads, role models, and encouraging the kid to not drop lessons on a fleeting whim or just because it seems hard at first.

I wonder if Tom Sawyer had the right idea about fence painting when it comes to boys and riding. Maybe riding should be something the kid might be lucky enough to have the chance to earn, rather than something the parent offers, hoping that the boy will want. Then again, yes, that could backfire with some kids. :lol:

[FitToBeTied]

AN old guy who events here. Don’t try to teach boys the same way you teach girls. Boys will have VERY LIMITED patience for staying in the ring going around in circles. They are not about perfecting the walk before being allowed to trot or perfecting the trot before being allowed to canter. By all means teach them how to jump early, it doesn’t matter if the equitation sucks.

[JP60]

[QUOTE=FitToBeTied;8345678]
AN old guy who events here. Don’t try to teach boys the same way you teach girls. Boys will have VERY LIMITED patience for staying in the ring going around in circles. They are not about perfecting the walk before being allowed to trot or perfecting the trot before being allowed to canter. By all means teach them how to jump early, it doesn’t matter if the equitation sucks.[/QUOTE]
Fit, I do agree, though I think the approach is clearly defined the same between boys and girls (having seen girls with the same bored look in lessons). However, what is important is that once riding, the horse is a partner, not an object. The equitation need not be pretty, but the hand needs to learn to be soft, the seat not a lead weight, but a communication device, legs are not clamps, but reminders. There are ways to example the that might be different between a boy and a girl, but in the long run it will help them enjoy the ride that much more.

This old guy wanted to canter before we even had trot down adn instead of my trainer slamming the lid on my desire, she spent a lesson showing how to better ride the canter, how to pulley rein in an emergency then pretty much had to let me go out and some how survive. I did, I learned so much more making mistakes on my own, but that foundation was what saved my ass :winkgrin:

[She_s_Pure_Gold]

Thank you all for your input, lots of good advice and information here! DH does not ride, but we have a small farm so my horse is at home. We also board 1 horse and have a miniature donkey, that is DH’s! So, while he doesn’t ride, he is huge animal lover and is very active helping out with the farm and spending time with his donkey. We’re hoping the donkey will be a great first introduction to our son, as she is so small and has a very calm disposition (and seems to really like kids). Not for riding, but just for exposure, learning how to behave around equines in general, leading, brushing etc.

When I said that we would let our kid explore his own interests, I didn’t mean running willy-nilly from one to the next, just that if our son shows an interest in soccer I’m not going to turn around and say ‘no it’s horses or nothing’. I agree that it’s good to gently push through challenges with an activity you like and see if it is worth sticking with. One of my trainers is male, so we will have that going for us as well. I guess the plan right now is to see how much interest kiddo has in the horses/farm and go from there. If he seems interested by around 3-4 years, we may look into leasing a semi-retired broke broke broke kid-safe pony to learn to walk/trot on, and if that goes well, then sign him up for lessons somewhere and see where that goes. I want to encourage and be supportive without being forceful with the attitude of he has to like it or else. So, lots of good advice here that I will definitely take into consideration!

[Timex]

First off, congratulations! Timex Jr is 11 now, and is shaping up to be a darn good little rider, thank god. Lol. I’m a trainer, so am exceedingly thankful that he enjoys riding. Also a single mom, Jr’s dad is not overly supportive, but will come to local shows to watch.

Jr actually prefers english, and isn’t terribly interested in western at all. His pony is quite tough, so while he loves her dearly (she was born when he was 4, he started her, and has been the only one to ever throw a leg over her back, they are quite bonded now!) she sometimes is a little off putting to him. He is currently doing a lot of dressage work with both her and his larger mare, does some of the local schooling shows with the pony, and hunter paces with her, which has been a huge boost to his confidence. I’m hoping to get him to a HT or 2 next year. Baby steps! He’s not always the most confident in his own abilities.

While he likes to show, and to be part of the group, Jr really likes bringing the young horses along, so he has been the first rider up on the babies for the last couple of years. And he is soft and empathetic enough that the babies really respond well to him. So it’s not uncommon for him to be the one out on our track, jogging or cantering the baby racehorses around. I also let him do pretty much whatever he wants to on his horses. Yes, there are certain things he knows he has to work on, but if he decides he wants to go for a trail ride after working in the ring, or ride bareback, or whatever, I leave that up to him. Jr also took his first polo lesson this summer and really enjoyed it, so for xmas I got him polo mallets and balls, so he and a friend can play in the indoor with their ponies. Anything to keep him happy on his horses!

As as far as instruction, I don’t work with him frequently. He and I are way too much alike, so it just gets ugly. Lol. So he takes dressage lessons with my (male) dressage trainer, and I take him to lessons with other trainers where ever I can, both male and female, and get him on as many other horses as possible to help build his confidence.

And im lucky, he doesn’t seem bothered by the tight pants, or by English riding being ‘girly’. As a matter of fact, his favorite gear for the local, casual schooling shows we go to is a pink polo shirt, pink saddle pad and a pink crop. You know, because his pony is a girl. Lol. And the boys on his football team take it all in stride when he shows up to warm up for a game, having come straight from a horse show, still in jods and a pink shirt. Lol

[OverandOnward]

Had a flashback moment to when I was younger and riding with boys and girls … and it was a different era.

FTBT is right, get them out of the ring - and the girls, as well. The conversation among eventers, that many kids no longer have the chance to ride around the countryside, could be a reason there aren’t as many interested boys as there was once upon a time.

We used to ride out in a group of 4 to 6 older kids, all kinds of tack and some bareback, and disappear into the woods and meadows. Crossing streams, jumping logs, playing horseback games. Our supervision was the caution “don’t let anything major go wrong”.

Among other things, we learned not to let the horses brush their head against things that can catch on the bridle! so as not to have anything major go wrong that could limit future rides. And I think that’s where I really learned how to sit a horse so as not to come off, no matter what.

Even if it is not a large area, just being out of the ring and out of the constant supervision of an instructor promotes a sense of adventure and confidence.

[mosmom]

First of all congratulations!!! I have 2 boys that ride and compete, both started at a very young age. My oldest is now 21 and is going to college and majoring in Sports Management and specializing in equestrian sports. My youngest is 15 an is a working student for Boyd and loving the fact that it’s an almost all male team.

[Libby2563]

[QUOTE=2foals;8345537]
Frankly, I have not quite found the right competitive niche for my kids. Horse shows are not a great place for young boys, it’s a parade of girls in ribbons where things like polish and showmanship are rewarded highly. While I would like for my boys to eventually develop more polish in their riding, that’s just not something they ENJOY focusing on, so horse shows just aren’t a good value for us. I think some eventing may be in their futures.[/QUOTE]

My coworker has two boys and a girl, all teenagers. He, his wife, and all three kids compete in mounted games in their respective divisions (he and his wife are “Fossils,” lol). They have a farm and something like 10 horses/ponies between them. I think it’s so cool that they do that as a family! One of his sons has even traveled internationally for it. The kids also do Pony Club and event, but I could see games being a really engaging intro to competition for boys who ride. This is the association they compete with I believe: http://www.mountedgames.org/

[mosmom]

What about joining Pony Club? If you do your research, you can find one with boys in it. Our club at one point had 5 boys of all different ages. They definitely made it interesting and kept the HM judges on their toes.

[2foals]

Libby, I think it is so nice when it can be a family activity! I get a lot of special time with my boys when we head out to ride together.

It is a popular feeling that boys should like games–I can’t tell you how many times people have seen my three boys on ponies and tried to get them interested, but they have not shown much interest in it. Don’t ask me why. It’s a great suggestion, though. There are a lot of different options in horse sports and I think it is a great idea to think outside the box to keep things interesting.

And OP, you are so right to focus on getting a really great first pony. Whatever the gender of your child, that can make or break it right there.

[2foals]

[QUOTE=fordtraktor;8345581]
I wasn’t saying you force your kids to ride at all, I hope the moms on this thread with riding boys don’t interpret it that way! Your boys seem to have an interest in riding and it is great you can share that! I wish mine did but have reconciled with the fact they probably won’t! Just pointing out that the alternative is not necessarily letting them have free rein to pick anything or not commit. They can skip horses and still be raised in a non-indulgent, whatever-you-want-dear way.

My older son has an active disinterest in it so far because they intimidate him, even his very safe old pony. He loves to clean stalls, though, so he helps me with that, and he brushes the pony a lot. if I made him ride now I probably would permanently scare him off, I don’t see the point in that.

And I never enjoyed playing the piano, ever! But my kids will take lessons when they are older long enough to be able to sight read music because I think that is a useful life skill to have, to appreciate music. I don’t regret being able to do that but I do think we could have ended the torture after, say, two years when it became very clear I had no musical talent or interest and had basic skills.[/QUOTE]

I think you and I are actually probably pretty close in philosophy. I really agreed with some of the things you said in your other post, especially the part along the lines that riding can be dangerous and expensive, so it doesn’t make sense to be pushing a kid to do it. In any case, there’s definitely a balance between letting your kids find their own path and sharing the passions and interests that you and your spouse have with them. My comments about dabbling weren’t directed at anyone on this thread, rather it is a modern parenting trend I have seen where parents run themselves ragged driving around town so that their little kids can try out gymnastics, dance, archery, martial arts, etc. Obviously there are fits and starts as kids figure out their interests, but it’s okay to provide some direction, too.

Really, as much as I love riding, I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out if I had chosen a different passion in life. (Could I have chosen a different passion?) Riding really is a pretty inconvenient sport. Not only do you spend time doing the sport, you have to take care of a large, rather expensive, sometimes delicate animal. Plus, riding can sometimes be a fairly solitary endeavor compared to team sports or something like golfing or tennis. I have made a lot of friends through horses, but often my involvement with horses prevents me from having a social life. People who love sports like running, bicycling or soccer seem to have such uncomplicated lives.

On the other hand, even for my son who likes riding but has other interests, I see how riding has been good for him. Successful riding isn’t just about doing things “perfectly” according to some recipe, but also about having a partnership with a horse. I wish I had more eloquent words for it, but having a partnership with a horse is a really special thing and I have seen it touch the life of each one of my boys.

[riderboy]

I hadn’t ridden at all until I got married, then it was a dude ranch vacation that got me started. Boots, wrangler jeans and lots of honest to God cowboys, I wanted to ride like them. That went on for a few years, then it was a horse riding trip to Ireland with fabulous school horses that put the hook in me for cross country. Good luck!

[JP60]

[QUOTE=She’s Pure Gold;8347549]
Thank you all for your input, lots of good advice and information here! DH does not ride, but we have a small farm so my horse is at home. We also board 1 horse and have a miniature donkey, that is DH’s! So, while he doesn’t ride, he is huge animal lover and is very active helping out with the farm and spending time with his donkey. We’re hoping the donkey will be a great first introduction to our son, as she is so small and has a very calm disposition (and seems to really like kids). Not for riding, but just for exposure, learning how to behave around equines in general, leading, brushing etc.

When I said that we would let our kid explore his own interests, I didn’t mean running willy-nilly from one to the next, just that if our son shows an interest in soccer I’m not going to turn around and say ‘no it’s horses or nothing’. I agree that it’s good to gently push through challenges with an activity you like and see if it is worth sticking with. One of my trainers is male, so we will have that going for us as well. I guess the plan right now is to see how much interest kiddo has in the horses/farm and go from there. If he seems interested by around 3-4 years, we may look into leasing a semi-retired broke broke broke kid-safe pony to learn to walk/trot on, and if that goes well, then sign him up for lessons somewhere and see where that goes. I want to encourage and be supportive without being forceful with the attitude of he has to like it or else. So, lots of good advice here that I will definitely take into consideration! :)[/QUOTE]
Final thought, it seems to me that besides that obvious “there a horse in the family” aspect to girls and ponies, it seems that even as babies, they get toys related to ponies. You might try giving stuffed horse toys, maybe a rocking horse, even games that relate to horses so they start to see horses as just part of their overall day.

What makes a little girl say “I want a pony” when she’s 4? Perhaps because she’s saying she wants to trade up from all the imaginary playtime.

[She_s_Pure_Gold]

[QUOTE=JP60;8355284]
Final thought, it seems to me that besides that obvious “there a horse in the family” aspect to girls and ponies, it seems that even as babies, they get toys related to ponies. You might try giving stuffed horse toys, maybe a rocking horse, even games that relate to horses so they start to see horses as just part of their overall day.

What makes a little girl say “I want a pony” when she’s 4? Perhaps because she’s saying she wants to trade up from all the imaginary playtime.[/QUOTE]

We already have horse toys for coming baby and plan to get many more It is a good thought! I also have visions of covering his bedroom walls with posters of Denny, Boyd, Philip, Buck, Jimmy… :lol: