Young Horse Doubts - Am I crazy?

[TatteredDaydreamer]

You all were very helpful in earlier post about having the winter blues and lacking motivation. I was traveling for work most of last week and have been thinking about my youngster and am having doubts. Not at all about my gelding, but about myself and my ability to ride him in the future. I love this horse, he is fun and pretty darn easy and a lovely mover/jumper. He will be in a wonderful program that gives young horses a great foundation and I’ve seen many come through the program and end as solid citizens. I know I’m really not old, late 30s, but I’m having second thoughts on if I have what it take to ride/bring along/educate a young horse. I’ve been riding for 30 years (on and off a bit but pretty consistently) and have ridden many young horses, and really enjoyed them and the process, but the older I get the less confidence I have. I don’t really have aspirations to horse show more than once or twice a year, I just want to continue learning and enjoying riding. I am not certain that I have the drive to get out to the barn every day (won’t be necessary when he’s in full training, but will be eventually). Should I wait for him to get started/going and sell him to buy a been there/done that type that needs an easier job and just wants to hack around?

Has anyone felt like this and had a success story? I know I’m in my head about this too much at this point, but I almost feel like I will fail this horse and he’s 2.5 and we haven’t even really started. Thanks again for being a sounding board!

Signed,
The Anxious Overthinking Ammy

[pony_grandma]

Huh? Horses don’t equate happiness or success the same. You won’t fail a horse if they have food, health, exercise and fun… Money is a different conversation.

[TatteredDaydreamer]

I should have used a different word, I just feel like an ambitious, younger, gutsy rider might be better suited to a young nice hunter type than I am.

[Trekkie]

How much support will you have? Pro training rides too or will you be doing all the riding? Will you be able to take a lot of lessons? If doing most of the riding and stuff yourself do you have time to commit to spend multiple days a week riding and taking your baby horse new places? Do you have the stickable relaxed seat so if you ride the baby in a new environment you can give it confidence instead of making it anxious? There is a ton of work and time that go into making a solid citizen. It is a huge commitment. With good support of someone who can help you/ride if necessary it is doable for a dedicated ammy. I have done it with several. Each one I learned a ton and loved it. I do not have children and I dedicated myself like a second job to my young horses. To be successful you also must be able to get a good feel for the animal and know how to set boundaries and give rewards appropriately. Too much and you will overface, too little and they will become brats. That all takes tremendous horse sense and feel. Lots of outings and new experiences are a must. Can you do this yourself with your own truck and trailer or can someone do that for you? It is far easier to mess up a young horse than to make one. Keep that in mind. All questions you need to answer to decide.

[CBoylen]

You have no idea who this horse even is, and probably won’t until he’s five. If he turns out to fit your needs, great, if not, great, he will suit someone else. But you are worrying about things way ahead of time. He needs to get going. If you were saying you were going to start him yourself on an inconsistent schedule as a nervous amateur, that would be one thing. But you’re not. You are using a professional program to help you learn more about the horse as he gets a solid start. Just let it happen, and then trust your professional to help you make decisions as they come up.

[Scribbler]

Don’t make any decisions about horses in the middle of winter, or any life decisions after dark.

Here are some questions for the spring.

Does this horse scare me? Am I going to duck out of riding from low level anxiety?

Do I feel happier after I ride him than before?

Do I have room in my life for my own horse or should I half lease?

If you pass these questions, then: do I have bandwidth right now to be an active part in schooling a green horse or does that take more mental and physical energy than I have?

What is my goal? How much does getting into a show ring and ribboning matter? Would I be happy schooling for the next 4 years with no shows?

What did I imagine would happen with this baby horses? Why did I buy him? How is reality different from expectation? How would reality be different with another horse? (Wouldn’t change time or distance or expense or worry)

You don’t need to answer these questions publicly but something to think through. In spring in daylight.

[silver_charm]

Because I’m 99% sure I know who you are riding with, you could not be in safer hands. Not only is she brilliant with babies, as you know, but she has top tier skills in managing anxious adults. She’s brought a ton of people along to be quite happily enjoying their babies that never thought they could do it. I think you’d be doing yourself a disservice not to wait and try and see how it goes, especially if your focus is learning. Not much more learning to be done than riding a baby!

[TatteredDaydreamer]

This was fabulous advice and I really needed to hear this tonight. Thank you.

[TatteredDaydreamer]

Thank you again for the awesome advice!

[TatteredDaydreamer]

You are 100% correct, baby horse and I are in the best hands. Thank you!

[Demerara_Stables]

All of this advice is wonderful. I would add that getting into a serious workout routine (including lifting weights, not just cardio) will improve your seat without having to be in the saddle. You have a year plus until you sit on him, so use that time to get stronger. @Trekkie hit the nail on the head when she said stickable, relaxed seat. That’s one of the most important things with babies - you can’t be tense or they’ll get nervous, but you have to be strong and and secure in your seat or you’ll get unseated.

The other thing Trekkie mentioned about off property trips is also incredibly important. Baby horses need to see lots of things. The more things you can expose them to while working in hand, the more relaxed they’ll be 1) about new places, 2) about things at home (because they’ve seen so much more than what’s at home - it makes home boring), 3) with you. Take this time to build a relationship with him, and in a year you’ll be old pals.

[TatteredDaydreamer]

Thank you @Demerara_Stables and @Trekkie- Great advice from both of you as well! I really am working on becoming fitter and have a Peloton that I love for cardio (I’m obsessed!) but I need to take advantage of the fact that they have fabulous strength programs on their app that I really, really need to start incorporating! He’s been off property several times to do the YHS and we plan to continue to take him to a few unrecognized HB shows in the spring to just get him used to being out and about.

@Demerara_Stables - Is there anything specific strength wise that you suggest?

[vxf111]

I bought Frankie as a 3 year old with 30 days on him. The moment he stepped off the trailer I was like “oh shit, can I do this?” I did have a support system, though not nearly the robust “young horse” program you have at Karen’s. You’re going to be fine. She can ride 3-4 days a week and you can ride the others… and then as he gets more trained you can alter the skew so you ride more. You have a good team in place, I think you just need to trust in the process.

Neither of us know if these horses are going to be the horse for us. Young horses can turn into anything. All you can do is start them in the right program and see where it goes. You’re doing that.

Heck, I bought a broke horse and it turned out he was not the horse for me. He is someone else’s dream horse. If this doesn’t work out, you’ll have given him a good start and he’ll be suitable for someone.

I think Louie is going to be much tougher than Frankie was (Frankie was so easy it’s silly) and I am fully okay with saying “it can be 100% pro rides for a while if that’s what it takes.” You just have to have a good program and be willing to do what the horse needs.

I also think that if you want consistency and something easy–that’s OK. Baby horses probably aren’t going to be that. But it’s ok to decide that’s what you want. No one says that because you bought a young horse you have to make it up to be your AA horse. You can buy any horse and sell any horse because it’s not what you decide you want in THAT moment in time. It’s fine.

I think part of this is a self esteem issue that has NOTHING to do with this horse or even horses in general. I really think this is the kernel of everything. Have you ever thought about talking to someone? I had a little spell where I really benefitted from talking to a sports psychologist.

Also, winter sucks. Don’t make any decisions in the winter

[FromTheGalaxy]

As someone who is the most ammy of amateurs and has brought along multiple young horses, I’d say don’t discount your skills or ability before you even try. All babies are different, and hopefully you’ve picked one that has a good brain, and is not TOO athletic for your abilities. Yes they need consistency, but babies don’t need a rigorous schedule. I like to follow the rule of one day of work per week for every year of their age (3 year olds get worked 3 days, 4 years olds work 4 days, etc). I have found that most of my babies do best with multiple days off every week and short and sweet sessions that rewards try.

I have my own truck and trailer, and am very independent, so I am able to put a lot of emphasis on getting my youngsters out. But they don’t necessarily have to go somewhere and be ridden; sometimes just going and hanging out during a friend’s lesson at a new venue is enough. I also strongly emphasis ground work and having a good relationship on the ground so I always feel confident that I can handle my horse in new places, even if they get a bit worked up or nervous (rope halters are your best friend with excitable youngsters).

Especially since it sounds like you have a good trainer to help you get off on the right foot, I think you can be more than capable. And if stuff comes up and baby horse gets a couple of weeks off, its really no big deal. I much prefer the slow and steady approach to bringing along babies, and mine often get short breaks of a week or two off during the year. They always seem to come back refreshed and remember everything you’ve taught them previously.

[TatteredDaydreamer]

Thanks for responding! I remember when you got Frankie and can’t believe time has moved so fast! I agree with you too about the program I’m at and it’s really the best possible place for us to be. I too am also 100% fine with pro rides for a while if that’s what it takes. No shame in that game! I think honestly, the thinking about the “what if and can I do this” is much worse than actually riding and doing the thing will be! I’m a chronic overthinker and it’s never been helpful.

One thing that is reassuring is that I know the folks who started his full brother, and they said that he was the easiest horse to start they’ve ever had, and that they wish they has 10 more like him.

I am certainly not too proud to realize it isn’t working if it comes to that down the line. And he will be a lovely young horse with a fabulous start for someone else at that point, even if it’s not me.

Great idea on a sports psychologist, I’m going to look into that. Thank you!

[floppyammy]

@CBoylen

You have no idea who this horse even is, and probably won’t until he’s five. If he turns out to fit your needs, great, if not, great, he will suit someone else. But you are worrying about things way ahead of time. He needs to get going. If you were saying you were going to start him yourself on an inconsistent schedule as a nervous amateur, that would be one thing. But you’re not. You are using a professional program to help you learn more about the horse as he gets a solid start. Just let it happen, and then trust your professional to help you make decisions as they come up.

@CBoylen’s advice is spot on. The horse I had at 3 was not the horse I had at 4, was not the horse I had at 5, is not the horse I have at 6. Wait and see what you have. You won’t know until he gets going whether or not he is the right horse for you, or if you simply do not enjoy the journey with a young horse and want to sell him and get a packer. There is no way to anticipate or know ahead of time. Get through the winter, get him started and see where it takes you. There is no way to “think” your way to the right answer ahead of time.

[Demerara_Stables]

YHS is great! I actually run their California shows

For strength training - I’d say get into powerlifting lifts (squat, deadlift, bench press) and appropriate accessory lifts, and work on getting up to some heavy weights, as opposed to a body building type program. You’re better off with higher weights and lower reps (think 3-7 reps) than lower weight/higher rep. The former will make you stronger. For reference, work up to 150+ pounds at the squat and deadlift. Start with very low weight until your form is dialed in then slowly move up. If you can, get a good coach - there are a ton that will work with you remotely so you don’t have to be in person. It is a bit of work in the beginning but once you’re into it, you’ll see massive improvements in your riding. I’ve been lifting about 25 years (almost the same time I’ve been training young horses) and it’s a game changer. Happy to share some coach recs via PM if you want them!

[TatteredDaydreamer]

Thank you! My SO is very big into lifting and has been for years so I’m going to have him help me at least get started! He’s got a bunch of weights/benches/etc that I can use as well! The YHSs are great!

[Demerara_Stables]

Perfect!!

[Rel6]

Best case scenario: you put your young one in full training, he comes out a lovely, quiet, easy, fancy hunter you can ride as much or as little as you want to and enjoy. You have a horse that you know you could sell to a young, ambitious ammy/junior if you wanted/needed to but you’re enjoying your very nice horse and he is living a cushy, easy life with low miles and low stress.

Less ideal scenario: you put your young horse in full training, realize he isn’t going to be one that can sit for a few days and still be something you enjoy sitting on. Or isn’t something you like riding. Or isn’t as ammy friendly as you hoped. So you sell him. Not ideal, but an easier decision than what you’re stressing over now!

All that to say, enjoy your horse. Enjoy watching him grow and develop with a pro, enjoy watching his progress. If he turns into something you like and want, don’t stress that he could “be more” with someone else. He doesn’t know that. If he doesn’t turn into something that is the right fit for you, then you can find him his right fit. You’re in a good position!