I’m thinking that male horses are vulnerable to attack by other male horses when they are camped out peeing, in the wild.
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Makes sense.
I guess that the ones who pee loudly and noisily in the middle of the class, or the practice arena, are over all that now.
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My mare mostly pees and poops in her run out, and will often pee when she sees me arriving and assumes we are going to have a long ride. She won’t pee tied to the trailer on gravel parking lot but will pee in grass if I let her graze before loading up. I don’t think she’s ever peed in the trailer
I could always tell when one of my ponies needed to pee while we were out for a drive. He was normally very placid in harness. When he would get antsy, I’d drive him over to the grass on the shoulder as he would not pee in the road. I’m sure he didn’t like the splashing, as our road was pretty hard dirt. Just as soon as he was on grass, he’d park out and let loose. At those times, I was always glad I didn’t drive a mare. My friend did, but her mare wouldn’t pee at all in harness.
My other pony just went wherever he was. He wasn’t nearly as picky about having an absorbent surface.
Rebecca
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If my gelding was a human, he’d be one of those guys who staggers out of the bar or nightclub and pisses against the side of the nearest building, in full view of a busy city street. He has no shame.
However, here is this week’s embarassing story.
Yesterday, I finished a trail ride on my 5yo PRE mare, just backed last December, and was opening the gate into the yard. She is working on her gate skills and making real progress at understanding how to line herself up to the gates. I leaned over to shut it, and suddenly found myself on the floor, with the horse flying through the air above me. How the f*ck did I end up here? I asked as the horse bucked in a circle around me. I noticed that the saddle was hanging off the side of the horse. Ah, that would be why, I thought. After about 10 seconds, she stopped leaping around and stood perfectly still and quiet while I returned the tack to its correct position and then hopped back on board. I added another five or so minutes to our ride, just to end on something more positive than a massive tack fail.
Moral of the story? Tighten your girth, kids.
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I have another embarrassing story of failing to tighten my girth! I had a rather saintly National Show Horse mare who nonetheless liked to bloat when her girth was tightened. One day, I was getting on her in an unfenced-in area behind the barn from the ground, and my girth wasn’t tight enough. See where this is going?
The English saddle started to slide, and in my teenage enthusiasm, I somehow launched myself right over the horse and landed on her far side. The horse looked at me, snorted, and decided she was too embarrassed to be seen with me, so she trotted about 50 feet away and started grazing. The barn owner witnessed this entire event, yelled, “Loose horse!” and ran to get some grain. By the time the barn owner came back with the grain, I had caught my very patient horse (who was extremely easy to catch, thankfully). In the barn owner’s defense, there was a very busy road next to the barn.
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In 1999, I was trying to get back into riding and introduce my then six year old daughter to it. We did a few nose to tail trail rides at a local barn. I usually rode the hony size critters as I had a lot of trouble mounting from the ground (now, I can’t mount at all). My usual guy wasn’t available and I was given a taller mare–not huge, but bigger than my usual. I tried to mount from the ground, and the girth wasn’t tight. Silly me, I didn’t check it because I didn’t saddle the horse. Dumb, I know. The saddle slid all the way around and my boot got caught in the stirrup. The mare took off with me barely clinging to a handful of mane. I finally got my boot loose and dropped under her. I saw both rear feet go right over my face, but she never touched me.
Meanwhile, my daughter is mounted on a pony watching all this. So I jumped to my feet and said “I’m fine!” The horse was caught, resaddled, and I mounted using a block. We had a lovely ride, but it sure didn’t start off well.
I was wearing a fanny pack with my work pager and cell phone in it, and it gave me a heck of a bruise. I didn’t show it to my daughter.
Rebecca
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This reminds of when I was riding my filly alone in my teacher’s arena, and she jumped sideways at blowing leaves (I think she was walking at the time). I was as much a beginner as she was and I just ignonimiously fell off the other side, on to the sand. I landed on my multitool in a scabbard on my belt. The first of a number of embarrassing falls off her, due to my lack of those staying aboard reflexes. I don’t come off quite so easy any more.
It left a perfectly multitool-shaped bruise on my butt.
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Not technically involving a horse, but there was also the day that I was leaving the trainer’s barn after a lesson, having untacked, cooled out, groomed, and loaded my horse. I had been the last lesson, and she had moved on to other projects around the barn. As I came out of the barn for the last time heading to the car, she had brought out the push mower and was going to do some of the closer work around things that she couldn’t do with the rider. She had it right there by the main barn aisle door, and she said as I approached, “Before you go, would you mind starting this for me? That pull rope can be hard sometimes, and my bad wrist is hurting today.” I said sure, no problem, I’d start the mower. I grabbed the pull rope, gave it a good heave, and somehow fell completely over. I still don’t know exactly what happened. I have started mowers a hundred times at least in my life by a pull rope, and this is the only time anything approaching this occurred. Of course, she was standing there three feet away for a front seat audience. I picked myself up sheepishly, and she said, “I can get someone else to do it.” No, no, I assured her. I knew how to start a mower. Second attempt worked.
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Spent years when young in our riding center, learned to start colts, we started many feral horses, gave lessons, guided trail rides, participated in shows and endurance rides, was fairly accomplished as a rider.
Then university happened, for two years I didn’t set foot around horses.
A friend wanted to go ride that had never been on a horse before, a total beginner.
She had seen my pictures and heard the stories, thought I was a very good rider.
We called around and in that city they only had this one riding center that gave classes to beginners on Saturday afternoons and then whoever wanted could go on one hour trail ride afterwards.
We signed up and went over one beautiful Saturday afternoon, there were over a dozen people there.
The indoor lesson started after all were mounted, I at 4’11" and 96 lbs wet had been assigned a little roll-poly young mare, saddled with a rather large stiff older Kiefer saddle that didn’t fit me and rolled around on her back, stirrups as high as they went were still too long, but I managed fishing them all along and keeping all up in the middle.
Basic lesson, nice to again be on a horse, mare was very nice and sensitive, all was going well, until toward’s the end they had all that wanted to canter on the rail, those that didn’t standing in the middle.
Most started cantering nose to tail around and around, my mare was a bit strung out and too close to the horse in front, I checked her a bit before the turn and she crow hopped around the turn and I slick as butter slid off her side, ending sitting up on the ground in the corner, very, very embarrassed!
The mare then did go on with a few fresh horse happy bucks, to stand in the middle with the horses there.
That was a very long walk back to retrieve her.
I had to explain that mare didn’t buck me off, I fell off, she bucked a bit after I fell off.
Luckily we ended the ride without any more more unexpected dismounts. 
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And everyone said “yes! that is what happened!” while snickering behind their hands. There is just no explaining something like that, the story will be told the way it is told, forever. Only you will ever know the real, authentic truth. Glad you were ok! 
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When I was in my early teens, I went to a horse show with my trainer. She had a bunch of kids going and I was one of the oldest, so she asked me to help get the kids to the rings and gave me a walkie. We were being pretty silly at times on the walkie, and when she went to use the Porta Potty with her walkie on her, I started making bathroom noises into mine as a joke so it sounded like… well, you know.
Shortly after, the show announcer came over the intercom to remind everyone to get off of channel 6 if they were not show staff.
I didn’t want to look at my walkie to see what channel we’d been using, but sure enough.
I’m amazed I ever got my stirrups back
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That story is my winner, right there.
One of my geldings quietly takes himself off to face the wall while weeing because he doesn’t want to make eye contact 
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Psssst! 
I won’t name the East Coast BNT who gave a clinic at my barn.
But he forgot to turn off his throatmike when he took a bathroom break… 
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I remember a story my trainer told. She was on a stallion waiting near the arena, next up for her dressage test. Here came the flirtiest mare ever, little hussy, prancing all up to and around the stallion while her rider tried to control her and my trainer tried to escape the situation while still being close because she was about to be called. The stud was obeying the rider but definitely admiring the mare, too, and starting to get excited. Saved by being called to the arena.
So the bell rang very quickly, not much time to tuck things back in, and the trainer heard the stallion’s erection smacking against himself as he entered in trot. He was straight and obedient, though, and by the time they started back up again after the halt, salute, he had it tucked in again, and they went on to a pretty nice test.
The judge wrote on the score sheet under entry, “Erection not required at this level.”
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Love the sense of humor!!
Probably some extra elevation to his gaits, might have improved his score!
I had a gelding that I frequently wondered about, re gelding. He considered himself most attractive to lady horses. One in particular, she didn’t live at his place but her owner and I trailered together to shows. My gelding adored that mare, and she mostly returned his affection. In the trailer he let the mare eat his hay – and he was very possessive of hay. We inadvertently discovered that they could share a feed bucket, taking turns. I didn’t know that was possible with this species. 
Anyway – at one dressage show, the mare was due to go a couple of rides after me & my horse. The warm-up ring was next to the dressage arena, so she was there, and coincidentally close to the arena during my ride. My horse noticed her and was extra in all ways – extra expressive, extra elevated, extra shiny and bright. Great score (I don’t remember it though).
I tried to convince my friend to park her mare next to the arena for every show ride from then on. But she said she had her own life to live. Oh well.
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My Hackney pony gelding saw all mares as girlfriends and all other geldings and stallions as competition. He picked fights and tried to mount my friend’s mare–while I was driving him and she was riding her mare. Darn it, I told her to move away from him, but she didn’t listen.
He was gelded at age 10, and I’m pretty sure he was used for breeding before he was gelded. He was the studliest gelding I’ve ever known. He frequently mounted my mare and actually did the deed; the mare was three hands taller than he was. My other gelding would just look at them, obviously thinking “Huh?” I’m glad the Hackney was shooting blanks, as that would have been a very weird cross–Paint and Hackney pony. Ugh.
Rebecca
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