I love that the print is large enough that a person does not have to go find their glasses to read it. It is perfect.
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Funny that subject came up. Just the other day I saw a card with a list of horse show dates printed on it. But the print was so tiny you practically needed a microscope to read it. Lol.
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When I take my horse away from the barn for anything more than a day, I leave a sign posted very close to his permanent info/feed card. It states, in Spanish because all of the barn staff is Hispanic, that Dobbin is away at a show (thatās usually why heās gone) from X date to X date and to please resume feeding at X meal on X date.
This keeps everyone happy ā feed is not wasted, thereās no question about why Dobbinās stall is empty, and I know that upon my return, the appropriate meal will await my sweet horse.
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You may want to look around a bit into eventingland, regardless! I board and train with eventers and do jumpers. Itās a perfect fit for me and my two horses. I ride with UL eventers and I have learned so so so much. I have my own rig, I have gone to shows quite a bit without my trainers in the past, and no one would ever think to be upset about me doing that because they are all so much more DIY.
I have a young horse now and depend a lot more on my current trainer because heās a bit challenging, but the eventual goal is to be able to show by myself again with him and my older guy. I love my eventer friends and we have a lot of adventures making my jumpers do eventery things. I even sometimes do CTs! Itās improved my riding, itās improved my horses, and I am not welded into a program that might not suit me at this point.
Iāve been in the H/J world my whole life and was in a program at a show barn as a junior which was great. But as an adult Iām very comfortable being more independent. I sort of stumbled sideways into riding with eventers and itās been life-changing, not to sound melodramatic! Just something to think about. 
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I would suggest that even before telling your coach that you will be going to a certain show, you have a conversation with her about the season in general. Tell her that you are planning your season and would like a list of shows she will be going to and available to coach, so that you can put as many of those on your schedule as possible. Then add that you really want to get your horse out a lot this year so will probably also be making plans to go to some additional shows and clinics and are experienced and confident doing this independently for events not on her schedule. That way it will not be a surprise nor an opportunity for her to raise objections one show at a time when you tell her that you plan to attend a given show.
I go to more shows by myself or with a friend or two than with my coach (also a once a week lesson arrangement). I really do enjoy showing with her the once or twice a year that it works out, but she is also a judge so sheās away judging more weekends than not during the season. She knows I have been doing this for years and have a suitable horse that I normally manage mostly on my own. We do discuss what classes I will enter, and sometimes she tells me about the pet peeves of the judge(s) that I will ride under
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I really love this idea! Thank you so much.
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This point may have been made here, but there is a long, depressing thread about how little money if any farm owners make off the board we pay.
So a barn owner might have even more of a reason to be unhappy about boarders/training clients paying for lessons elsewhere.
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Buy and wear a Road ID, especially if youāre competing alone.
Please
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This can be easily fixed by putting in the board contract that you agree to take and pay for x amount of lessons/ training rides. Going by what the OP said above it looks like she is still planning on training and showing with the barn. She would just like the opportunity to go do things that her trainer is not planning on doing.
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Yes, but if the trainer isnāt going to shows, and there are good clinicians coming, how is a client choosing to do extra things (while still taking their weekly lesson) taking away from the trainerās income? This isnāt some client going rogue and zipping around lessoning with other people and not showing with the trainer but instead going off on their own! This is a person who wants to do more than what the trainer is offering, while still taking lessons and showing with them. That isnāt taking money out of their pocket!
I ended up buying my own truck and trailer because for a while I was with a trainer who didnāt want to go to shows. I did want to, so I still took my regular lessons with him and then found other people to go to shows with. It worked out for both of us.
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Flame suit firmly in place for this take - I greatly dislike this as an excuse. Is it accurate? Absolutely! Is it a reason to be passive aggressive with clients who want to do things beyond the scope of your (general you) services? Absolutely not. Additionally, itās not the boarderās job to figure out how much the BO needs to charge to make money. For any person/ profession where said professional offering the services gets to set their own pricing, I find it incredibly distasteful for the person setting the prices to complain about not making enough money. If that is the case, they need to raise their prices or make other arrangements to improve their profitability. None of which is the responsibility of the consumer/ client. Now, if a client/ boarder is complaining saying prices are way too high, they think BOs are raking it in and making money hand over fist as shavings are $X and grain is $Y but they are being charged $XXXX I will gladly tell them to shove it. BOs deserve to make money, 100%, but it is not the boarderās job to make that happen for them.
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You just need to talk to her and explain what you want to do and why. Donāt frame it as asking for permission or her blessing, do be open to her advice. Presumably you respect her opinion if you are taking lessons, etc.,
Iāve ridden with my trainer for a few years now, originally as a ship-in once a week lesson person, but now boarding and training with her full time.
I know for sure that there are some clinicians that she would recommend I not ride with and would be unhappy if I ignored her advice and went ahead.
Her reasoning for this, even before I was in full training, was that it was most helpful to ride with people who were on the same path and had the same fundamental system. This makes sense to me if I am happy and progressing in that system and avoids a lot of confusion.
Iāll go and audit something different from time to time just to see. But it normally reinforces that Iām doing the right thing for me and my horse at this moment in time and donāt need to spend $600 to be confused.
I also know that she would be unhappy if I went to a show and made a spectacle of myself, but she wouldnāt mind otherwise. However, she might advise me that the footing at such and such a barn isnāt optimal, or something of that nature.
She is pretty keen that when we go off property we represent the barn well, which I think is entirely reasonable.
I know these things because we have conversations and discuss plans and potential opportunities, like one does in professional adult relationships.
Oh, and I really like Emilyās practical contribution. Iām going to do that. And the suggestion for a Road ID.
It also reminded me get my act together and do what Iāve been saying I must do ever since last show season, and order a halter nameplate with my horseās name, my name, and my phone number on it.
(I once when showing alone had a horse untie himself from my trailer and wander off towards the show arenas whilst I was in my dressing room changing into my show whites. I saw him go by the window. A few people saw a lot more of me than they ever expected to as I sprinted after him across the parking lot with no breeches on.)
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If you read my post, I was speaking in generalities. The OPās trainer could be a Rockefeller for all I know. (Kind of dating myself here 
) Iām just pointing out that it could be why a barn owner/trainer might resent losing out on the opportunity to make money from a client.
I learned about the proprietary interest trainerās take in their clients the hard way.
I had a friend who rode in weekly lessons with husband and wife trainers and employed their groom. She was not in a program and the trainers never rode her horse. I got to ride the horse while my friend was away, and I innocently mentioned to the wife that it would be fun to ride the horse in a lesson with my old trainer I had known for years whose barn was on the same property.
First I get a text from my friend (vacationing in a foreign country) saying no, I canāt take a lesson with my old trainer. Okay, whatever, it was just an idea. That afternoon, it got back to me that another friendās teenage age daughter asked āWhy is Wife Trainer ranting about Bristol Bay on Facebook?ā The audacity of thinking I could take the horse out of their barn!
The next day I said good morning to the husband trainer, who responded by basically threatening me have me banned from the property.
So, yeah.
These were (still are) scary, crazy people, and Iām sure not similar to the OPās coach. Iām just saying that some trainers have been known to see that as a threat to their livelihood.
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While I agree with this in general, there is something to be gleaned from everyone. What X person does might work, but Y persons method makes more sense to the horse.
Iām game to try different riding styles, body positions, thought processes, anything, for a ride. If it works, great! If it doesnāt, great! Again, if one ride can blow your horseās training apart, your horse isnāt as solid as it should be.
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I absolutely agree. Thatās just a common courtesy. But to be expected to ask permission to take your horse that you own and support somewhere in your truck and trailer that you also support is not how it should be.
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Best in āShowā!!
It is inappropriate for a trainer to act in a rude, disrespectful and unprofessional manner. I can totally respect the fact that many trainers rely on the income from lessons and training, but this does not give a trainer the right to be a jerk. You asked , owner said no that should have been the end of the story. No need to threaten or gossip. I am constantly amazed with the entitled attitudes that many trainers show when it comes to their clients. People often wonder why it can be so hard for clients to have basic conversations with trainers, behaviors like this are part of the reason.
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Agree with you 100% .
And then you have trainers like the one who was operating out of 1/2 of our big boarding barnā¦ and came to believe that when she took her show string off to a big show for a week that the board rate should be pro-rated - even though it specifically said that would not be the case in the original contract. She got her clients fired up about it and angry - and they accused us of trying to cheat themā¦ on what - a monthās regular board money? We send the hay with you to the show, your stall & paddock is waiting for when you come back. It is not our fault if you are also paying for stalls at the showgroundsā¦ plus haulingā¦ plus shavings etc. I had to call the trainerās bluff and suggest her entourage check out different facilities in the area and see if they could get something pro-rated. There was no such facility capable of taking in that number of horses that would consider it - or wished to deal with that trainerās tantrums and behavior. But that is another series of talesā¦
We had one very large white board next to the feed room for comings and goings to be noted. A column for the horsesā names, one for owners and contact numbers, next one for time out and the final one for time back. That way everyone knew who was absent and for how longā¦
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For me it depends on the horse. One of my horses I have had for a long time, and I know I can get her back to where she is now within a few rides if I try something and it doesnāt go well. I feed free to try stuff pretty far out of our usual routine with her (an obstacle clinic with a working equitation trainer for instance).
My other horse I have had less than a year, and while he is a better mover and more talented, he has some real quirks and can become truly panicked if pushed in certain ways. I would not take him to a clinic with someone I had not already audited and preferably ridden with several times on my other horse. He will go to a few shows as a non-compete horse this year, preferably shows that my coach can attend too, and we will see how he reacts before we enter classes. Maybe toward the end of the season at a venue he has already visited.
I do absolutely agree with you that this means the two of us as a pair are not as solid as we should be, which may or may not change as we continue to progress together.
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