I know this is an “issue” on the English circuit but coming from a rural Western background, this is always something I just cannot wrap my head around.
It’s your horse. You take YOUR horse where YOU want when YOU want.
If trainer wants to get her feelings hurt about it, whatever.
If you feel you would keep the waters smoothest by telling her about it, then go for it.
But I say go enjoy your horse.
I had a few people try to do the “pro-rated while my horse is at shows” thing. I asked them if they still had to pay rent on their house when they went on vacation, because they weren’t there or using it during that time.
Trainer seems way controlling for the circumstance of OP only boarding and riding in a lesson 1 x per week.
I have been in the HJ world for years. In the past few years, circumstances (development, increased cost , trainer retirements) have caused the loss of reasonably priced HJ programs in my nearby area. I now board at a primarily eventing barn and I trailer off to meet trainers at the HJ shows I do. Fortunately the HJ trainers I work with are all relaxed, they know about and approve of one another, and so far it’s worked out just fine. Talking to my fellow boarders who event, I have to say the trainer attitudes are much more relaxed and less territorial in that discipline. Fortunately I am lucky to be able to meet up with good, low key HJ trainers. In this case, it’s not like OP has her horse in full training so no reason for this trainer to be territorial and butthurt.
I agree with you - usually clinicians are a known entity. We get awesome dressage, jumper, and xc clinics around my area all the time, and one of the things that was starting to rub me the wrong way about ex trainer is that we never went, and weren’t encouraged to go on our own.
The point of clinics is to get a fresh, experienced (maybe more experienced than home trainer) eye on rider and horse. They should come back better.
I don’t get it either. If horsey and I are going back country fly fishing this weekend, we leave a note on the stall door in English and Spanish (and send a text these days,) and load up and go. If we want to event or dressage the next weekend we do that too.
Your coach/trainer/barn owner is not your 1950’s father that you have to ask permission from before your do anything.
I hear that, but counter point - if horse is gone, say, 20 weeks a year on some show circuit, they should probably get a credit for the hay/shavings horse is not eating since they all the barns I know that do that many weeks of showing purchase hay at the shows / on the road.
20 weeks of hay is a good chunk, I’d think, and it doesn’t make any sense to be buying hay in 2 locations.
Like the vacation example - of course I’m still paying my mortgage while I’m gone, but I’m not stocking the fridge in both places, running / heating the water, etc.
The barns I’m familiar with in my area seem to be fine with a “dry stall” fee in the instance a horse is going to be off site for a while but coming back. I have friends that travel/camp for up to a month at a time with their horses that have an agreement like that. One of our trainers clients came to our barn for two months of training over the winter, and had a lesser rate at her home barn to keep her stall there as well.
I wouldn’t think a few days or long weekends here and there should constitute any special rates though.
Off the topic, but it sounds like you have a pretty cool and versatile horsey!
My friend and I have been both complaining about this overall issue with our trainers.
We pay a lot of boarding/training/lessons and to keep our horses healthy. We haul ourselves. We should have the freedom to do what we want with our horses.
And when you ask up front before becoming a client the trainers always say you can come and go as you want, but once you are there it seems to be a diffferent story.
If a trainer can’t attend a show with us or is gone for awhile and can’t do lessons for more than a week or 2, then we should be able to find some one else to work with without the trainer getting pissy about it. The control factor of trainers really blows my mind. All the time and money we put into this and we are still told what we can and cannot do. Ridiculous.
I know I’m not the OP, but I want to thank everyone on this thread and others. I’m just exiting a situation with a very controlling trainer, that was getting very uncomfortable, and it has taken a fall and some real talk from COTHers to get me back to where I was when I STARTED with this trainer almost 2 years ago. When I went in, I was lessoning with multiple trainers (with their blessing), working across disciplines, and hauling my own and even friend’s horses (with proper insurance and licensing, promise!) to shows and events. Riding for fun.
After 2 years I’m a stressed out, injured, scared - to - ride hot mess. I’m NOT saying this is where the trainer - as - micromanager can lead. But it did for me. So thank you all for commenting on this thread and the others. Let’s get back to being able to have fun and not stress out about trainer approval of what we are (reasonable and safely) doing with our own horses.
I feel like the cross disciplinary nature of eventing creates a built in need and tolerance for multiple coaches because most jumper coaches would be happy for you to polish your dressage elsewhere 
In hunters, the expensive week long show thing is money spinner for coaches, so they don’t want you hiving off solo. Also the expectation is often that the coach gets to compete your horse in open classes to win points and “warm him up” for you so the coach likely feels more possessive of the horse since he’s building her reputation directly.
By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You may also receive promotional emails from The Chronicle of the Horse. You can opt out at any time.
For Customers
Company
Terms of Use
