Asking for some advice - using an alter to keep from causing unnecessary waves.
I’ve been working with a trainer for the last several years, most of which have been spent boarding at their place. Everything has been great until this past year. It’s a small barn and really the only game in town. In the past couple of years, there are some boarders who have joined the program who have multiple horses and loads of free time. In the last year, it’s clear that they are favorites. They get opportunities to go school that the rest of us don’t. They get coaching not available to the rest of us. They will continue to hold discussions with trainer after their lessons are over, cutting into my time. They receive all the coaching and help at shows, even though we all pay the same coaching fees. I can understand this - they spend more, thus are more important for trainer to cater to.
During lessons, trainer will badmouth other people in the barn. So I’m sure the same is being done to me.
Last summer didn’t go very well, i lost a lot of confidence because of some issues while showing. I was told they were training issues, leading to my assessment that I wasn’t good enough. We haven’t been able to address what happened, so i am still feeling this way.
Now, my horse is injured. He was on stall rest last fall for a nasty abscess, and when he was finally allowed to go out for limited turnout, there were days he didn’t get to go out because one of the favorite’s horses was also rehabbing and that horse’s turnout had to happen after someone had come to ride. If that person didn’t come until afternoon, well, then too bad for my horse. My horse ended up injuring some soft tissue during those initial days back so now we’re on legit stall rest. I am at the barn every day to hand walk, groom and check in. However, there is now almost no communication with trainer. When I’m in the barn, trainer is generally busy with other clients so i do not want to interrupt as that is their time. When I email or text, sometimes they go unanswered completely. Often it takes several days for an answer. When a discussion has to happen regarding horse’s rehab and/or care, often i get an answer of “we can’t do that” when it’s been done for others.
I’m generally dreading going to the barn, usually relieved when I see trainer isn’t there. I don’t have any issues with any of the other clients. Recently trainer informed me that they don’t expect my horse will ever be sound again (could be, but there are a lot of things to still go through before we get to that point). The implication is that we aren’t worth trainer’s time at all any longer.
My difficulty is that there really isn’t any place else for me to go, certainly not while going through this rehab. Beyond that, there aren’t really any other trainers in this area, even in other disciplines. So I’m trying to figure out how to move forward in this situation. And I’m at the point of just not really wanting to even ride any longer as all my enjoyment has been sucked out by this situation.
How do I handle this situation?
Thanks!
