advise to handle a situation better next time

[bigbaytb]

oh, I feel so bad, but feel I was correct in what I did…

Yesterday, at the cub hunt. I yelled at a JR rider (no colors, young teenager) and her grand mother (w/ colors).

(fyi, I have colors too, but only a couple years). Before the hunt, the hunt master reminded riders that if one rides 1st flight, one jumps, hill top means hill topping and no inbetween. If you stop, you go to the back of the line.

Jr rider and grandmother are ahead of me (i hate to say GM cuz I think shes too young to ba a GM lol). we are doing a line of 5 fences that are one to 2 strides abart (thank the gods for all the grid training at home!). what happened, (but what I didn’t see) was Jr rider horse stops at fence…she goes to the side and continues. ( i think more like a run out because forward momentum never stopped) GMoms horse in front of me runs off to the side. My horse gets confused and we almost slam a tree but i’m able to leg her left so she takes the jump and continues on the line. Jr rider and GM are galloping outside of line ahead and next to me. i’m calling out “don’t do it” to them because i know the last fence is a coop out of the woods in a fence line to an open field. There was no place for me to pull up and not cause a crash or problems behind me… the jr rider cuts in front of me infront of the fence to take it, GM thought about it, but stopped her horse to the side as I passed in the jump line and jumped right on Jr riders tail. i was trying to slow my horse in the progression, but it 's like stopping in the middle of grids, not easy. my horse did give the other room…but I lost my temper.

i know, bad. as we were galloping in the field, I yelled at the jr rider…“no, you do not do that. that’s rude and against what the hunt master said”. I was also directing that at her Gmom, but pretty much the entire world heard me.

at the check, hunt master rode back and checked on them as they moved to the back… she came up to me and said “we do not yell at our jr members”. I appologized for the yelling but explained why. I also appologized to our field master for yelling, but felt my reasons were just, and he said, giving where we were, he’d probably done the same thing.

At the next check, I appologized to the jr rider for yelling at her, and the gmom. She said her horse stopped…I said that is not why i yelled and thats not the issue, it was the actions afterwards that upset me as i felt it created a dangerous situation. Gmom, who is a much sr member than me was very nice about the whole thing, but I politely let her know that it just wasn’t only the Jr member to take all the blame on that situation.

And it all seemed to end on a good note as the problem resolved, and i saw the staff all consoling the jr rider afterwards…

so, as I’m always trying to do things right…is there a better way I could have handled that situuation? I’m just wondering if the adreniline was pumping too much for me to have handled it better…so, yeh…I know you 'll guys ream me…but I’m a big girl or I wouldn’t have posted it. LOL. I still feel like a rat fink for yelling though …

[mildot]

[QUOTE=bigbaytb;5845839]
it was the actions afterwards that upset me as i felt it created a dangerous situation. [/QUOTE]

Hard to keep one’s composure when that happens.

[nickers1]

You know you may feel bad now for yelling at the jr. member, and wished you could have handled it differently. To me though I feel you did this girl a service in teaching this lesson she will not forget. Think of it as safety training for the rest of her hunting career.

She WILL think next time, and that’s what matters.

[crosscreeksh]

Scolding, correcting (yelling) has become so politically incorrect these days and “THAT” is the reason there are so many screw ups in the world!! IMO the Hunt Master had no reason to scold YOU!! You were not wrong…the Jr could have caused a wreck and should have been yelled at. What the heck was Gma doing to educate the jr.? Sorry for being bit…, but there is a need for education in the hunt field …and life and people are too worried about hurt feelings! Galloping down a line of jumps is not the place to be plite or tactful. This was a matter of safety - not just bad etiquitte. JMO!!

[whicker]

Ware horse! Ware rider!

BigBayTb,
There isn’t a wonderful way to to keep the alarm tone out of your voice when you have hit the adreneline in avoiding an accident.

In a perfect world, in hindsight, being calm…
You could have raised your voice to say something along the lines of “Ware horse” when the jr. rider was going along side before she cut back in line. Jr.s are self focused unless they have been jolted out of their perspective. Be grateful that the jr wasn’t driving a car…:eek: Grandma should also have been aware. But, she wasn’t paying attention, either.

Losing your temper isn’t the way to handle it, either. Next time, count to 10, or 100 if the adreneline is high, to get your survival anger/voice under control. Then HISS to them that the move was very dangerous and that your horse could have jumped on the jr. You have a tall imposing horse and when you draw yourself up, you are most memorable and intimidating. Then report to the Master and the fieldmaster what happened. They then get to reprimand the offenders.

On the other hand, you did a brilliant job of avoiding disaster with all that schooling you have been doing! And, I doubt that jr will ever cut someone else off with out a backward glance. Unless the jr is so self absorbed or out of control that she needs to be with the hilltoppers for her own safety. Which perhaps someone could sweetly suggest…:winkgrin:

[jawa]

I feel your frustration!!!

Hunting is a dangerous sport that you do your best to mitigate the danger…

Train your horse

Practice your own skills

Practice hunt field manners, so you don’t put anyone else in danger unnecessarily.

It is frustrating when others don’t respect your right to live to hunt another day. I would have been hard pressed to not “yell”.

I have hunted with someone who had the glaring look down pat for all those that dared to put he or his horse in harms way. I have tried to get the “look” down in order to convey my displeasure at the way someone is riding around me, but alas I have not perfected it.

Apologizing for the episode is a grand gesture on your part…I hope you got one in return.

[FitToBeTied]

First of all the situation sounds confusing. It sounds like the jumps all had go arounds?

As far as yelling at someone in the field, I’ll disagree with what’s been said here. It’s not your role as a member of the field to upbraid or discipline someone in the field whether you have colors or not. Unless you are the MFH or FM its your job to take care of you. If there is someone that you are not comfortable riding near then ride away from them. If you think it is really a dangerous situation then at the next check quietly ride up to the MFH or FM and calmly make them aware.

I’ve heard so many stories of the “old biddies of the field” that feel they need to “instruct” everyone and I don’t think you want to be one of them. When I am riding as part of the field I strictly MMOB. When I am FM I have delivered the “get in line or go home” talk a couple of times.

[xeroxchick]

I would have popped her with my hunt whip and sais “oops, sorry.”

[JSwan]

The problem with dangerous riders is that they usually aren’t the ones who get hurt. It’s the people or horses around them who do.

Hard to smile and grit your teeth when your life is flashing before your eyes.

You may have not shown decorum, but you apologized for your lack of decorum. And your outburst is understandable.

What you were owed was a sincere apology from the dangerous riders, and I hope you received it.

Under normal circumstances it’s best to alert the Master about problems like this, after the day is over. The Master should deal with it by speaking with the deliquent rider. But in the real world sometimes they don’t so keep your heels down and wits sharp.

I have seen a Master excuse riders for dangerous behavior. So while the jr may have been a little embarrassed by being called out by you, maybe you did her a favor in the long run. Because being sent home by the Master is truly a walk of shame. Perhaps you spared her that.

Xeroxchick, you wrote exactlywhat I was thinking. When I first started hunting I didn’t fully understand that attitude. Now I do.

[bigbaytb]

fit2btied: this line of jumps in a woods and is a man made line for lack of better description. i don’t think there is an intentional path next the jumps as the hill toppers never ride that line as they take another route. so the jr and Gma were just galloping in an unmarked path.

what I find ironic about the day was that many were being way to vocal on the “ware wire/hole/hound” etc. as in if the hole was pointed out 2 horses head of me, people 10 horses back were already yelling “ware hole”…it was driving me batty. I’d point and not say anything becuase I didn’t feel like overdueing as the “rule” are to say it so the person behind you can hear it. I really was thinking of approaching the hunt master after the hunt and say people were over doing the “ware” bit, because it was drowning out the hounds and everything else. …So i think it’s funny that here i’m the one who is getting annoyed with all the “ware” yelling yet I’m the one that really blows it out loud. LOL.

anyway, I have always one that didn’t like to be a “tattle tale” as a kid and always handled things on my own instead of having someone else do it. I understand now while it’s not being a “tattle tale” speaking to the hunt master or field master about a situation. I will add “ware horse” to my repetoire…and I have a book of glares that I am sure will suffice ;). I’ll need to practice that…but I’m always smiling when hunting and riding…so it might be hard to glare.

whicker…unfortunately I wasn’t riding my big 17hh hunter (still NQR) but the 16hh mare…while everyone thinks my big guy is so intimidating, he is the one that would turn himself inside out before hurting anyone. The mare is alittle less forgiving. however, I could learn something from her…she does not kick, but if a horse is on top of us, she can turn and shoot a nasty look at full throttle through the woods.

Jawa. I do practice my hunt skills, even at an eventing clinic :), because I just find a well rounded horse can handle any situation and do not get upset. When I go to a hunt, I look who is riding and I will place my horse in the field accordingly. I also feel that when the master of the hunt says something, you listen! I hope I don’t become an old biddie, but this was the first time I have said anything to anyone…so when I did it , i did it big. eeek.

anyway, thank you!

[smokygirl]

wow… one would think gma and Jr would be bowing down and thanking you for just yelling. could have been much worse, ya could have killed her (very tempting)… particularly gma. Jr maybe can get the “teen stupidity” card once in awhile, but gma should have known better.

[GoingUp_POP]

I’m guessing your fear and anger wasn’t so much that she put you in danger, but your horse, who did nothing to deserve to be hurt by ignorant JR.

Not the end o’ the world, and almost everyone here agrees, you reacted pretty normally and nobody died because you yelled.

The one I would have been most angry at? The hunt master… “We don’t yell at our JR riders!” … Age is only an excuse if you let it be…
Anyone who endagers my horse, will be very lucky if I only yell at them…
Hunt master or not, this isn’t kindergarten, we don’t stand next to the teacher and allow ourselves to be forced to apologize to little Sarah even though little Sarah deserved to have her hair pulled for stealing our crayons, and we are in no way sorry. Kindergarten sucked. Haha!

Oh well, stay far away from JR next time, and warn the other riders!!!

[wateryglen]

We’ve all been there…!!

:winkgrin:Don’t apologize for this because inside all of us is an old hunt biddie dying to get out!! :winkgrin: When I get askeert? I get angry & pissy. It’s a normal emotional reaction to danger. It’s hairtrigger and we’ve all been there, done that!
I think I’d have “spoken to” the GM about what my expectations are. That I expect HER to control the kid, teach the kid, discipline the kid. Isn’t it the sponsors responsibility to mentor their guest? Later, I would have told the kid that I’d thought she should have gone to the back as good hunting etiquette dictates. I would have delivered that message in a matronly, grown up, somewhat firm (and old biddie-like) way!!! Just not yelled exactly. Think of it as a
“teaching opportunity”!! A calm “sharing of feelings” is not yelling hence you can’t violate a hunts practices if you keep it low key and just how YOU feel. I would have reported her/them to the mfh’s. I’m SURE you weren’t the only one to notice too ya know!

Also, once you’ve intitated a “teaching moment” with a junior…they’ll avoid you like the plague! :yes: And I see that as a good thing! Yeppers!!

[Benson]

Making mistakes happens to all of us and losing your temper is never a fun time. Certainly, you didn’t wake up that morning and think “who the heck can I scream at today”? You had a knee-jerk reaction and you apologized. There’s no need to drag it out in your head.

My sd (15 and has been hunting for 4 years) rides in our very small Hunt where I am instructed to ride on the Huntsman’s left hip as a whip-in-training. THis means sd rides in the field or more often than not, is invited to ride with our MFH/whip. If she made a mistake that was risky I would want someone to speak to her in a way that would make an impression and then move on, treating her as if it was any other day.

Part of what I love about Hunting is the community aspect. People of all ages come out for the sport of the day and some days the community members need to act for the safety of the community in teaching a member the most safe way to remain a part of the community. This is a GOOD thing. People learn accountability. Going overboard with the community correction does earn one the “old bitty in the Hunt” status, but a well deserved correction is just that, a correction. The MFH was just doing his job. It’s his job to maintain order (sort of like middle management in the office) and he needed to restore his position.

[xeroxchick]

That gets to me too. Every rider does not need to call out every hole unless you are very strung out on a fast run. And a huge hole three feet off the trail is not worth mentioning. Lets just all listen, okay?

[KateDB]

That gets to me too. Every rider does not need to call out every hole unless you are very strung out on a fast run. And a huge hole three feet off the trail is not worth mentioning. Lets just all listen, okay?

AMEN!!! Not to mention, it distracts the hounds and staff, as well!!!
Frankly, I don’t want to hear anything human (other than huntsman), if I had my choice! :winkgrin:

[FitToBeTied]

I agree with the ware hole chant.

The other thing that people do that drives me nuts is when a hound is coming up from behind. You get “hound right” or “hound left”. Hounds zig zag through a line of horses and the one that 1 second ago that was on the right is now on the left and vice versa. They don’t follow the standard rules of traffic.

A simple ware hound suffices to make the field aware there is one or more hounds in the immediate area and just keep your horse on a steady line.

[xeroxchick]

I think, since hounds are not a danger, it’s actually “Hounds Please.”

[bigbaytb]

O…M…G…yeh, the “ware hound”…that was also driving me nuts that day. As there was one that decided to tuck himself behind me and my mare through the woods. Riders behind kept yelling…hound left…er right…er left…and I’d turn to look to check on his progress. I slowed down, but he didn’t pass so I didn’t worry about him…but didn’t say a word as I knew the hound would get up to the pack once he could see them clearly…which he did once we made it to an open field.

[bigbaytb]

[QUOTE=GoingUp…POP!;5846657]

The one I would have been most angry at? The hunt master… “We don’t yell at our JR riders!” [/QUOTE]
Oh…on that note, the MFH…she said that to me quietly as she was displeased with my yelling. I have always liked and respected her as she will call a spade a spade and is very mild mannered how she handles everything. She said that to me as she was returning from speaking to the young rider and gmom. she had not been informed that the riders continued and the Jr rider cut me off before a fence until I explained why I yelled, and she seemed enlightened with my reason