AITA - Dog fight, and what now? - UPDATE Post #60

[eponacelt]

On Christmas eve, I had to break up a dog fight between two of my dogs - a 70lb Alaskan Husky and a 120lb boxer/hound mix. It was sudden, bad, and I ended up with a dislocated finger, a sprained finger, and a dog bite.

Neither dog is aggressive towards people - they’re both marshmallows and they’ve only tussled one other time, shortly after we brought the husky home, over 9 months ago.

I have no idea why this started. No food or attention was involved. I barely managed to stop the fight, and was only able to get the dogs apart because my dad was here. Mr. eponacelt was at work.

The hound is 12. He’s snapped on other dogs of ours in the past, but always with a discernable reason. We’ve had him since he was 4 weeks old.

The husky is very sweet and this seems so out co character for him. He was given to me by a friend, and he could easily go back to her, as sad as that would make me. He and I have bonded incredibly and I adore him.

My husband is adamant that this situation can be managed. I’m less certain. I’m here alone a lot and I’m now terrified of letting the two of them near each other ever again. He’s furious that I’m even considering sending the husky back, even though he’d be going to his breeder who loves him.

Am I the asshole? Are there other options here? I’m fairly traumatized and hurting.

[Moon_River]

I’m so sorry that’s an awful situation to be in. Have you had the older dog checked over by a vet recently? A change in behaviour/tolerance level could be because something’s hurting. Also how old is the husky? If he’s a young dog, has he hit adolescent yob time and the dynamics changed on that side?

I would perhaps look in to getting a consult with a reputable veterinary behaviourist (there are several that offer online consults now), but really it boils down to what level of risk you feel comfortable managing.

A lot of households with dogs that don’t get on end up working incredibly hard to keep the dogs seperate and getting enough attention, exercise, etc each. It generally is exhausting and there’s always the risk that someone will slip up, a door will be left open, crate not shut properly, and that there will be another fight. Obviously only you know what happened and whether you can ever feel that it was a one off or the start of a pattern, and whether you can take the risk of it happening again in your circumstances. The fact that you have an easy soft landing with the husky’s breeder is a huge factor for me.

If it was me, I would start with a vet work up on the older dog for sure, possibly on the younger one too. Discuss what happened with the husky’s breeder to get her views. Investigate a vet behaviourist consult. Most importantly, stop and consider what lifestyles and risks you can and want to accommodate in your home for however long it might take.

Can your husband articulate what is fuelling his anger here? Is he someone who struggles with big emotions generally? Does he understand what level of management might be involved in keeping both of them? Does he appreciate that you did get hurt here, redirected bites during a fight can be serious even though you aren’t the primary target, and that one or both of the dogs could die in another fight?

Edit to add - https://aggressivedog.com/ is Michael Shikashio’s website, who specialises in aggression in dogs

[chestnutmarebeware]

Were they actually making contact with each other /drawing blood? Or was it a fight that looked terrible but was done without either of them actually biting until you got in the middle (e.g. snapping and growing and rolling around and sounding ferocious)?

The former is very difficult to come back from because the dogs remember the fight and their relationship is often destroyed, but the latter is usually an inhibited dominance struggle, or one dog putting another pushy one in its place. These aren’t worrisome to me, because both participants don’t actually want to hurt each other.

If the younger dog is moving up as the #1 dog, then it’s important to support that and not stick up for the underdog. Feed the young dog first, let him out first, etc. Anything else makes the situation worse. Your original dog will be ok—as long as he knows his place in the pecking order he doesn’t care if he’s #1 or #2, as long as it’s consistent.

Either way, it’s sooooo hard but please don’t try to break up seriously fighting dogs without using something other than your body to place between them. There’s a lot of good tips online.

Good luck!

[eponacelt]

Thanks for this. I’m feeling very alone with my thoughts and feelings at the moment.

The husky is almost 4. We were given him by someone who had bred him to be a sled dog, and he was a terrible sled dog - no work ethic - but he was such a love that my friend thought he’d fit in at my house. So no, he’s not an adolescent.

I have been worried about the older dog for a while. His last checkup was 6 months ago, but I’d planned on bringing him back to the vet in January for another checkup. Its all so hard because there is nothing I can think of that triggered this other than the older dog looking at the younger one sideways. The whole thing went from a completely calm morning to the husky with his teeth in the other dog in literally the blink of an eye. I never heard a growl from anyone, it was just suddenly happening.

My husband’s issue (other than being tired from working a a medic for 3 straight days over the holiday) is that he volunteers with an animal rescue who routinely gets animals back for truly bullshit reasons and his motto is “you never give up on an animal”. I see this as a totally different scenario, one that involves safety and well being of everyone involved, including the dogs. I’m not sure if he fully appreciates how scary this was for me.

[luvmyhackney]

It’s manageable, but is it something you want to have to manage?

Keeping dogs separate 100% is so hard as accidents can happen easily.

Who will bare most of the responsibilities of keeping the dog separated?

It’s sounds like a power play by the husky and he’s trying to take the top spot. I’d consider muzzle training him or even both of them starting now just in case it escalates.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

NTA. Ask your husband if he wants to stay home full time with the dogs from now on. If not, then maybe he needs to back off. YOU were the one who saw it and got hurt, not him.

I second the workup on the older dog - the younger dog may sense something about him that you can’t see yet (failing kidneys, CHF, something that may have changed his scent somewhat) that a vet check could find.

The fact that there was no warning at all is the scary part, to me. If this was a dominance thing, or a normal ‘misunderstanding,’ I would expect there to be some growling and posturing. This seems more like the husky meant business. Is it possible to keep them separated all the time in your house? Would it mean a huge schedule change for the dogs, or yourself? How much extra work would it be for you?

I always remember my uncle, who had Boston terriers. One night, they tuned on the oldest female dog. Until that point, the entire pack had always gotten along fine. But one night, someone challenged her for dominance, and by the time they came home, she had been ripped apart by the pack. Is your husky capable of that? If so, can you justify the risk to your older dog?

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

I would at least contact the breeder and know there is a potential issue. If she breeds sled dogs, she is pretty aware of how pack issues can manifest themselves and might have some suggestions.

I also agree protecting an older and more vulnerable dog isn’t a “bullshit” for giving up the dog, and sadly it’s one of the most common reasons animals are surrendered. Even if dogs are “tested” together, sometimes things like these only pop up later.

[trubandloki]

I would not be giving your husband an ultimatum anymore than you would like getting one… It is an uncomfortable situation for both and you are both dealing with it the best you know how.

I do agree that a complete vet exam for both dogs should be step one. Well step two, step one is keeping the dogs separated.

I own two dogs that are kept separated. I look at it this way. Lots of people who choose the person they are living with end up not getting along with that person, so why should I be surprised that two dogs that did not choose to live with each other decided to not get along.

Both of my dogs are great dogs. Both love their people. Both do lots of obedience and such things.
But, it is not worth the risk of having them together for that moment that one of them decides the other did something it did not like.

I can totally see your situation as something as simple as the younger dog hurt the older dog.

The bottom line here is, can you keep them separated easily with how your house is set up? Are you willing to do this?

Meanwhile work with your vet and a veterinary behaviorist.

[eponacelt]

@trubandloki

I would not be giving your husband an ultimatum anymore than you would like getting one… It is an uncomfortable situation for both and you are both dealing with it the best you know how.

For sure. I’ve not issued any kind of ultimatum. I suggested we talk about it, and he refused.

I could probably keep the dogs separated in my house but I’m not sure that’s fair to all of them either. I worry about everyone getting the love and attention they need. And then there’s the issue of our farm sitter who would ALSO need to keep the dogs separate. Another consideration that we need to discuss.

[trubandloki]

@eponacelt

@trubandloki

I would not be giving your husband an ultimatum anymore than you would like getting one… It is an uncomfortable situation for both and you are both dealing with it the best you know how.

For sure. I’ve not issued any kind of ultimatum. I suggested we talk about it, and he refused.

I could probably keep the dogs separated in my house but I’m not sure that’s fair to all of them either. I worry about everyone getting the love and attention they need. And then there’s the issue of our farm sitter who would ALSO need to keep the dogs separate. Another consideration that we need to discuss.

My comment about ultimatums was because some of the posts read like people suggested you should, not because I thought you did.

I will add that yes, having to keep dogs separate can be extra work.

With your older dog being 12 years old, how long will the separate dog thing have to happen.

[NaturallyHappy]

When my husband died, one of my female GSD turned on the other and nearly devolved a front paw before I got them apart. I’m sure it was related to my distress somehow. I put a mesh muzzle on the aggressor for a really long time. Periodically, I’d take it off and leave it off unless she exhibited any kind of aggressive behavior. Then it went right back on. Long term, it worked for us. I am, by no means, a dog expert.

[CindyB59]

This is not going to be popular. But I’m old school.

Can you have the younger dog trained professionally with a shock collar. Once they’re trained., you rarely have to do more than a warning.

My young GSD is very play aggressive with our poodles. One a 11.5 yr standard, one a 3 yr mini. I can do a warning when he gets over zealous, and he backs off. He also just did not train to leave the cats alone. First dog I’ve not been able to train. He does not care if he’s in trouble. So it’s nice to warn him to remember his manners.

It’s kinda my last resort, but if it works, it’s worth it,

[NaturallyHappy]

This breaks my heart.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

The Boston terriers? Yes, it broke my uncle’s heart, too. The rest of the pack was put down immediately. He couldn’t handle it.

[NaturallyHappy]

This is a good idea. I’ve used a shock collar on my overzealous GSD, too!

[chestnutmarebeware]

Regarding the shock collars, even if it appeared to work, I couldn’t trust the young dog with the older one ever again, and I agree that keeping pet dogs separated isn’t fair to them.

If there was no alternative, that’s one thing, but it sounds like the former owner could take the dog back and hopefully rehome him in a single-dog household.

[eponacelt]

@CindyB59

Can you have the younger dog trained professionally with a shock collar. Once they’re trained., you rarely have to do more than a warning.

This is what my husband wants to do. I have a few concerns though. And for the record, training collars can be awesome. I’ve used it on my border collie and its been a super tool.

My concern is that the fight started without any warning. And once they were in it, they were BOTH all in. The old dog will not back down and had to be dragged from the younger dog, even once he was no longer attacking. My fear is that I’d have the collar on the younger dog, maybe manage to stop HIS attack, only to have the older (and bigger) dog retaliate. At which point, I need to manage collars on BOTH of them. And is that practical? I’m not convinced. Maybe I could be…

[CindyB59]

It’s a tough situation for sure. Talk to a trainer, see what they say

We had it two years ago. Hindsight is 20-20. Our toy poodle ruled the roost, including the GSD. One day when we were gone, the GSD decided “not today” and literally slaughtered him. Not a simple shake and kill. He was Euth’d the next day. Talked to breeders, trainers, shelters and vet. All agreed he could never be trusted again. It was the most heartbreaking thing with animals, I’ve ever gone thru

[Sandysmom]

My pit mix and coonhound loathe each other. I keep them separated. It’s not as hard as people here would have you believe. One is crated when the other is loose. They are rotated. It takes a little effort but you get in a routine. You can try muzzling them or putting them where they can see but not get to each other.

[Sandysmom]

Also, is the husky neutered? If not, that might help.