Alice Made Me Do It! - A tack shopping story

[Anna]

I just returned to my field after a lesson with my master’s mean evil trainer. All he kept yelling at her to do was to kick me and hit me. Not much fun, but I finally gave in an started go round. That flatwork crap is for the birds!!!

But I had fun and I got to jump big jumps. I made my master work though. I wasn’t going to be her guardian angel to all those 3’6" jumps. She had to actually package me together and think for a change or I was going to leave from wherever I wanted to.

All in all a fun day, but I am glad to be back in the field doing what I do best - EATING!

[Everythingbutwings]

I had an inkling when you had not reported back on the results of the “Outfitting Jair” event.

Hopefully you purchased appropriate traveling attire for her so she will be comfortable on her trip east!

[Lovely_Alice]

Forgive please the English is not too gut yet. I haf only been in this country not long.

Jair makes big exaggeration. I only make kind suggestion, not demand. He must know he cannot sit on me und not look as gut as do I.

The blue coat looks wery gut mit Jair’s yellow hair und blue eyes, und more important mit my shiny brun coat.

He Who Bought Me is a gut boy, und has big credit line, vich I like wery much. I wery much needed the pretty bridle und reins. It would not be gut for me to go to show without being correct. Ya?

Still, Jair is gut to me und I vill keep him I think.

[Tosca]

Portia! You should not have posted that site! I’m just dying to get the Sunburst-topaz, gold ling, gold rondells-one for my horse. Never mind it costs almost the same price as my whole bridle does, but oh it would look so wonderful on Draco, my big chestnut Han/TB. The topaz colour matches him perfectly! Maybe I’ll use Jair’s method and get my boyfriend to buy it for me. Draco’s birthday is coming up after all and he would be oh so grateful for the new stylish addition to his bridle…Hmmm, I’ll see what I can do.

[Jair]

Darling, sweetie! I am not being mean! (says Jair realizing he has a jumping lesson on her tonight and does not wish to hit the ground unexpectedly)

hmmmm I always thought that Bambi liked all of his nice things. Perhaps you should ask him if he’d give you his nice Butet saddle, matching bridle and boot collection? Somehow I don’t think you’ll get a very enthusiastic response!

But I understand that you are new here, and are learning the Canadian way -oh you’re not too cold are you? heeheehee

I guess I never mentioned it, but Ich spreche ein wenig vom Deutschen

[Mazzy]

What is a “silver dripping” bridle? Pardon the ignorance but I thought I’d ask. Is is a bridle with silver “stuff” on the ends of buckles and the brow band or am I way off?

[Mazzy]

Oh my gooooooooodness. I just bust a gut. This is the funniest thread ever.

Bambi darling, you can move here anytime. Archie and Ziggy would love another brother. They’re still babies and with your experience you could guide them, teach them and basically RULE. Please please please say you’ll come. After all, I am Canadian so I talk with the right accent to make you feel right at home, mon ami!

[system]

Vas is dist “Mommy”? I haf just been dragged from wahrm plac to ferry cold part of worl - am very full of, how new short man with fuud sez, “piss und vinegar”?

Zey call me Joe, but I sink is becuase they haf no Gehrman. But I vill let them luf me anyhow for I am beautiful Hanoverian. Arch-Man und Lovely Alice, iss ferry nice to mit you. I look forward to this “slumber” party, vas ist “slumber”?

Vill you plees tell tall redhead vuman that sez that she is my “Mommy” thet fuud und fancy tack is all ferry important for my growing body und my mental strehnth - must be like all Gehrmans, ferry strong! Must go buck now, I vill talk later.

[Bambi]

you can haf Alice l’Arch man.

Just take her avay.

She would not hurt HWBA’s friend MaaaaZ, she ees too materialistic for zat. Besides, I vould give her un big kick if she tried to throw heem again.

No von hurts my Jairie

[Jair]

Stop making fun of Bambi!!

and no, you may not make friends with anything other than a gelding! I want no sudden 11 month layoffs from the show season.

So please behave!

Bambi - I am not getting rid of Alice. Period. Now, you really must try to get along especially over the next two weeks while I’m gone. Comprendez-vous? I do not want to come back to lame horses due to personality mishaps in the paddock.

Gijon/Robbie/PK - stop giving my horses bad habits or I’ll tell your owners!!!

[Jair]

Too true Robby! Its kind of funny really about the martingale! I couldn’t seem to stop him or the saleslady from getting one! But I did make sure that it had the ring for the running martingale attachment (as DMK noted I will need it in the future!).

It is beautiful though!

Alas Bumpkin, I made a point about not looking at the saddles! too tempting!!

Thanks Splat!! Will post pics when I get some from our first show in May.

You are evil DMK!! Rubber reins, really I mean, if I move to the jumpers, don’t you know I’ll need a jumper bridle???

[Trooper]

MAZ, and Jair - I’m just getting to know Joe and the two of you have to go and let your horses teach him how to access the web? Are you trying to kill me? All he wants to do now is mug for treats and act like the 5 year old he is!!!

He hasn’t figured out yet that he is allowed to misbehave when we’re working. The worst he does is stop and hang out in the middle of the ring when he thinks we’re done and looke back at me with this hang-dog expression “you mean I haf to keep vorking?”

That’s going to change awfully quickly if you all let your ponies corrupt mine! Come on … he’s only a baby and I’m just a Mom trying to keep my pony safe and sheltered in this scary world!

[Baroni]

Jair - it sounds like you are a “Horse Fashion Psychic” - perhaps you could setup one of the Psychic Friends hotlines and find out what my boy really thinks of his new Hawaiin print schooling pad?

[Portia]

Jair, don’t forget Portia in the group of 6 year old mares who are spoiled to death and get everything they want.

They will form a new clique, the “Six Year Old Fancy Jumper Mares Who Own People Clique.”

I’m surprised Alice hasn’t begged for one of these yet: http://www.peopleonhorses.com/ Portia loves hers!.

[Moesha]

Hey Jair, sounds cool! I know Lordon’s has great deals on WeatherBeeta’s and Blue Eagle has a nice selection, what is this new one? In Cobble Hill? Duncan?

[Tin]

hey congrats Jair! I bet you and Alice will look just smashing dahling, pictures are definatly a must!

I must say though that I’m a little hurt that you didn’t call me to fit your breeches, I mean, didn’t I do a good job with your thong?

[Van_Teal]

the western bridles and saddles can be so extravagant, I saw one that had rubbies and diamonds in the farms logo, and trimmed the brow bands and cheek peices, saddle, breast plate, and of course the halter for showing in hand. the colors of the farm were red and white. The tack literally stays in a locked vault when not being used.

[Lovely_Alice]

Bambi ist franzosisch, vich he cannot help, und zo I vill try to forgive him for the lies he is saying.

Do not be forgetting, Bambi is the one having the Butet saddle, vich is nice saddle ewen that it too ist french.

[Mazzy]

Laughing too hard to type…

Who is The Arch Man? Me thinks its some rascally pal who knows his Highness a little too well. Hmmmmmmm, who could it be?

Welcome Gijon. The Hanoverian Clique rules. Alice, Archie and Joe. Such good blue collar names for such fancy ponies .

[Heidi]

You who possesses the name of a girl, Bambi, you are wise to concede the Lovely Alice to me.

Sincerely,
L’Arch de Triomphe.