I am at a new barn. This morning I went to lunge in an arena where I have seen others.
A rider was in there so I went to the opposite end. I got stared, then she came to my end and asked me to move. I did.
Then she asked me to move my halter and lead from where I left it by the ga te.
By this time, the horse didn’t know what to do so was not lunging well. Just stopping, not running or bucking. She complained she didn’t feel safe riding with us.
I just left so as I was walking out she kept saying " thank you " but I felt in a snarky way.
I am going to go earlier to avoid her. But am I reading too !ugh into this? She has been there a long time, I don’t want to be ostracized.
Unless there is a no lunging while riding rule and the ring is of sufficient size …I’d say she’s a passive aggressive beyotch.
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If I were you I’d confirm the rules about lunging with the barn owner. It does sound like the rider was just being a bit of a bully towards you, so I understand why you’re upset. I would be too, but I’d stand by ground once I knew for sure it was okay to lunge while someone is riding. Unless it’s a little kid or a complete beginner, every rider should be able to manage their horse around someone lunging.
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Unless there is a posted rule about lunging, I would have said, “I will be finished in x-mins, if you feel more comfortable waiting”.
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I’m totally reading waaay too much into this, but you mentioned your horse began stopping. Which seems like an odd thing for the other rider to feel unsafe about. Unless… was there perhaps some longe whip cracking to get Dobbin moving again? I’ve ridden a few that became positively unglued if in a ring with a cracking whip.
Again, I’m reading so far between the lines here. It just seems like an odd scenario to ‘feel unsafe’ about.
Good luck, and I hope the new barn begins to feel like your happy place toute de suite!
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If you had a mare that was bolshy, pushy, ears flattening and testing the boundaries would you say “sorry” and move out of her way?
Check the Barn rules, stand your ground, show no fear.
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No, I wasn’t using a whip. Just clucking and flipping the end of the line.
This is a trail horse I don’t think he really knows about lunging. But he would just stop and turn toward me, then I’d get him going again.
I haven’t boarded for years, and I don’t understand why some people seem to want to boss everyone.
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Well … how long are you thinking of boarding at this barn?
If she’s been there a long time, and you are new, show her your best side and start building a good relationship. A respectful approach would go a long way just now.
Did you talk with her afterward, in a low key and friendly way? “I’m new here and don’t know how this barn does things. At my old barn, people would have been ok with my longeing while they were riding in the same ring. What do you folks usually do here?”
LISTEN to what she has to say, and be prepared to follow the standard procedures at this new barn. Whatever they are. Maybe in a few months some changes can be introduced, but right now you want to get off on the right foot.
Some people are more comfortable with others longeing in the ring while they ride than others. That’s understandable, and everyone has a right to their own feelings about it. If she’s accustomed to certain procedures that everyone at the this barn is following, it is up to you to become familiar with them.
Barn is new to you, but not to the present boarders. This is their home and you are the newcomer. First priority is to settle in and develop good relationships with the others, so that you can make it your comfortable home, too. 
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Check out what the policies and norms are. At my current barn, you wouldn’t lunge a horse where others are riding. At my last barn, it would be fine if you asked everyone riding before you started.
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I agree with @OverandOnward on this one.
In the big picture it does not matter if there is a written rule about lunging while others ride if your goal is to join the others at this barn and be part of a group. Apologize for making them uncomfortable and ask what the policy is there.
I will say that most barns I have been at, unless the ring was truly huge, the standard was to not lunge while others were riding, minimally you would ask the people already riding if they were OK with you lunging while they were riding.
Lots of clucking and swinging the end of the lunge line can cause some horses to become unglued. I suppose on a fact basis that is not your problem, but if trying to get along with others and fit in at a barn it can make you inconsiderate.
Edit to add: I think things like this is how we learn how to get along in situations. I remember when someone told me how horrible it was that I liked to feed treats to all the horses. Now (that I am older and been around the block so many times) it makes perfect sense. At the time I needed to be told and then felt stupid for not realizing it on my own.
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I would have been fine if she had asked me not to lunge or to go somewhere else. It was the nit picking and her tone. I don’t see how a lead by the gate was an issue, for example.
I moved from another barn because there was constant negative comments to other people about them and their horse s and so much gossip and turf battles. Now I feel I am right back in the same situation.
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Even more reason to have a simple conversation.
Apologize (and mean it) and ask how things are typically done at this barn.
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Was the lead hanging up? or laying on the ground?
If it was hanging up, I probably wouldn’t have cared much, but just on the ground might cause me to look twice. I’ve seen horses step on halters/lead ropes left carelessly on the ground and panic ensued. Now, the actual risk of that happening might have been close to nil, and she might have just been annoyed that you were lunging while she was riding and decided to be petty as a result. If that was the case, then I’d just remind myself that her actions say more about her than you.
Regardless, I think the right answer is still to apologize, try to have some honest communication and then continue to try and just “blend in” and build some rapport with the other riders. You can’t control how other people act, you can only maintain your own integrity and do your best to be an upstanding and empathetic citizen.
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Just an opinion - of course I was not there and did not see and hear what you saw and heard …
IMO you are over-thinking her response. You may be nit-picking a bit, too. Clearly she was uncomfortable, and perhaps a bit unsure of how best to address you. It may not have occurred to her that someone would not do as she would do. As she has been there a long time, there is no knowing how much she rides elsewhere, or if her last few years of experience are all at her own barn. (In fact that would be something to find out in conversation.)
The question is: What kind of experience do you want to set yourself up to have at this barn? This is your chance to be pro-active in your own interests. Let this go as a one-time moment. Think instead that you both startled each other. It was not her best moment, and not yours, either. Go from there to make it up and show your goodwill to get along in this barn.
I’m sure you’ll manage things well. Good luck!
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To be honest, I would be kind of ticked if I was riding and someone showed up to the arena and started lunging a horse who doesn’t ‘really know about lunging’.
My horse is well-behaved and I’ve ridden him in arenas with another horse having a bronc session on the lunge at the other end. He’s fine with that; he’s definitely fine with someone clucking and flipping a lunge line. Even so, it’s distracting for him and it’s distracting for me. Other horses might have a different tolerance. This girl’s horse may be green or have an issue that made her nervous about a horse being lunged with clucking and lunge-line flipping.
You said your horse kept turning in and ‘didn’t know what to do so was not lunging well’. You may have though this was no big deal, but from her perspective, you’re new and an unknown entity, and your horse isn’t behaving very well. That can be scary. I’m always very cautious around new people lunging their horse because a lot of people (and this is a general ‘people’) don’t know how to lunge safely and effectively. Personally, I think horses who are poorly behaved (and this is not limited to dragging the lunger or broncing) or who are inexperienced on the lunge should not be lunged while other people are riding. It is, in my opinion, kind of rude, especially since it can be very dangerous.
My gelding is perfectly behaved on the lunge line, but I always ask if I can lunge if someone else is in the arena. My mare, while perfect on the lunge, is quite green. I NEVER lunge her when someone else is in the arena.
I wasn’t there so I can’t really pass judgement, but I would suggest sorting out this horse’s lunging manners when the arena is empty, and re-visit lunging with other people riding when he understands what is required of him.
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Lots of good advice so far, but in a nutshell, yes, you might be reading too much into the situation.
Personally, I am not very comfortable with riding if someone is lunging in the arena. I had a near miss when a horse got away from a pro trainer while lunging and my horse lost his marbles in a dead panic as the other horse barreled around the arena full gallop, lunge line flapping at his side and tangling his legs. We very VERY lucky no one got hurt. So since then, I am very cautious if someone is lunging in the same arena as me.
But back to your situation, definitely find out if its okay at this new place to lunge while a rider is in the arena, many places do not allow this. The rider might have been off-put if you were (unknowingly) breaking a rule.
Even if lunging while someone is riding is allowed, acknowledge that attempting to teach a horse to lunge (like in your case) with lots of starts and stops, and clucking is very different than lunging a trained horse who can move off of body language or verbal cues. The rider in the arena might have been trying to plan her ride exercises to account for the shared space and just got confused when she saw the frequent stopping.
She might not have been super friendly or engaging, but she did thank you repeatedly for trying to accommodate her. Its possible by the time she stopped riding, both of you were a bit flustered and stressed by trying to simultaneously focus on your horses and figure out what the other person was doing.
Give her some grace and try to have a pleasant conversation about the barn etiquette at this particular barn. Explain that you were working with a horse who is new to lunging and you and the horse are both trying your best to figure out this new barn. Your tone is everything.
Neither of you know each other’s horses or training backgrounds. Maybe her horse is super green and easily startled and you both kind of freaked each other out. Maybe she regrets her lack of clear communication that day and now feels awkward about it.
Don’t let the legacy of bad drama from past barn follow to this new one. Try to start fresh with her and give you both a chance to understand each other.
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At the other barn, when people said anything to me, I didn’t respond, just did my horse. I’ll just do the same here.
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Honestly … then I would suggest that boarding is not for you.
You said this is your first experience back in a boarding barn after keeping horses at home. Anything you can do to get back to your comfortable situation at home would be better than ignoring everyone and doing whatever.
I have always been a boarder, for nearly 30 years now, and there is a chance I always will be. I live in the town/city for work, and that’s how my life is. For me, this attitude of ‘I ignore fellow boarders and don’t care how they feel about what I do’ would be hard to welcome into my board barn.
I tend to stay at board barns for years. I have enjoyed almost drama-free boarding. I have built life-long connections with several fellow boarders. Any drama in my past board-life was curtailed when drama-boarder was gently ushered onwards by management.
I could say more (a lot more) … but I think you need to re-consider your approach to something much more oriented to building and maintaining relationships – you don’t have to be personal friends, just cooperative and cordial – or else get back to your own private facilities, where you won’t be stepping on everyone else’s toes.
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You are just the judgemental, condescending sort that makes boarding miserable. It’s not stepping on anyone’s toes if I keep to myself and make sure to ride alone and not get near anyone.
Plus, you don’t know what I have been doing previously. You are just making (false) assumptions and then judgments about me not “deserving” of boarding.
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I was taught to not ride around a longeing horse, and the one time I flouted the rule, the longeing horse bolted and it was potentially dangerous. So realize that longeing a horse cuts rge arena in half.
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