Something that occurred to me, though the thought was unspeakably vile, is whether or not AM treats his SO the way he treats his horses. That would add a layer of complexity to this already fraught situation. I don’t have enough information to make judgment calls either way re: his SO’s complicity. But we do know AM is guilty of abuse - that much is blatantly evident from videos.
Regarding involvement of SOs in your horsey life, I’d be reluctant to lump everyone in the same boat based on MY relationship, as everyone’s is different.
My opinion of the vet’s complicity could change at any moment as more evidence comes to light.
This. When I was married, my husband almost NEVER came to the barn, shows, etc. Once, he came to the barn with me (I don’t recall why) and as we drove up the driveway he pointed to a big grey horse in the pasture and said, “that’s a pretty horse. Who does he belong to?” Yeah, it was my horse. So everyone’s experience can be different.
That said though, if your SO is also your vet…well that does imply a degree of inside knowledge.
In the realm of people who may be directly implicated here, what about the owners? It did not sound like Plain Dealing Farm had any horses with him when the videos came out, and he hasn’t shown any of theirs since the spring. So unless I’m missing something, none of Andrew’s current owners has said a thing: either to stand by him/make excuses or to the effect that they’re just as shocked as everyone else (except oddly few people in the area are) and have moved their horses. And of his current competition horses, three of them are owned by the same person. So it’s starting to feel like they’re hoping this will all blow over and Andrew can continue on as he has.
I’m not assuming anyone has the same life. My personal anecdote aside,
I find it wild that the alleged partner of AM, who is an equine vet, reportedly AM’s vet, and also reportedly a long-time student of AM, would be clueless as to what has reportedly been going on for the better part of a decade. That’s all.
Right, but the videos are months old. Part of PDF’s statement was that their horses were “safe at home with us.” Ergo, their horse wasn’t in Andrew’s barn when the videos became public.
I thought I read something upthread that inferred dex was something “a vet” would need to administer, and that stuck with me. I must have misread that or misremembered it, @Virginia_Horse_Mom.
So I want to circle back and double click on this for a moment.
I’ve seen a couple posters on this thread make comments to this effect about the role of the SO, and how people on the outside don’t know what they don’t know… except that it seems AM has some issues with volatility and rage and takes it out on animals… and perhaps everyone should be cautious before criticizing the SO.
I think everyone making these comments is being very thoughtful and careful.
But… I somewhat disagree with this line of reasoning.
I’ll put my perspective out there by taking this possible scenario, and removing it from this situation involving real people and many unknowns… and instead analyze it using a purely hypothetical scenario.
Let’s say there is a couple - a man and a woman, and he is a successful youth football coach who runs a thriving and lucrative summer camp for kids, and she is a pediatrician. Let’s say she attends games and sometimes observes practices with the team, and is friendly with the kids. They all know who she is. Let’s say that sometimes the youth football coach is domineering and abusive to the kids. He yells at them and forces them to play when injured. He doesn’t observe concussion protocols and tells the kids to get back in the game and resume playing even when it’s risky. Etc etc etc. Let’s say the kids are intimidated by this old school coach, suffering the impacts of the emotional abuse they have sustained in his program, and are really unable to stand up for themselves and their own health and wellbeing. And it’s pretty serious. Let’s say the abusive coach’s female significant other is aware of all this, and has witnessed this behavior at times during camp and practices, when the kids’ parents aren’t present. She knows kids who have concussion risks are returning to play entirely too soon, and other injured kids are not resting when they should. She knows it’s a result of the coach’s toxic influence and recklessness.
But she doesn’t speak up for the kids or intervene.
Let’s say the coach is physically abusive to her in private. And that’s part of the reason she doesn’t speak up on behalf of the kids. She is personally terrified of the coach and feels trapped in her own relationship with him.
So let’s say that at times when attending practices, she does her best to just keep an eye on the kids, maybe putting ice packs on kids she knows are playing injured, etc etc. Just trying to help them out a little in smaller ways.
Let’s say that eventually the situation comes to light, a kid is seriously injured while playing in this youth football program, and the parents are angry and report the coach to the league, and report his significant other to the state medical board overseeing licensing and professional complaints related to pediatricians. Because this woman did see what was going on with their child, and she was a mandatory reporter. But she didn’t step in to help their child, and didn’t report the abusive conduct that the put the health and welfare of their child at risk.
Let’s say there is eventually a hearing in front of a medical review committee of some kind about her actions, and her inactions in this situation. And her defense for her inaction is that she was scared of suffering physical abuse at the hands of her significant other, so she chose not to report the ways he was abusing the children and placing their health and welfare at risk.
Sooooo… think about that horrible hypothetical situation. If any of you were on the medical review board in a situation like that… would you give her a pass, and refrain from suspending and revoking her medical license as a pediatrician? Because she herself was a victim of abuse?
I will be honest. If I was on a medical review board in this situation… I would sanction the pediatrician involved. She took an oath and had an ethical duty to follow through as a mandatory reporter looking out for the safety and health of a key population. If she can not fulfill her ethical obligations for one reason or another, then she should no longer be a licensed practicing pediatrician overseeing the health and wellbeing of the population involved in this situation.
In my opinion, she had a choice. She could and should see that her toxic and abusive relationship was impacting her ability to follow through on her ethical duty as a practicing pediatrician. And if she wanted to continue being a practicing pediatrician… she should have ended that relationship. She is not entitled to a medical license if she is failing to uphold key duties of that profession. It’s a sad hypothetical situation to consider… but ethical responsibilities for people who are mandatory reporters? I think that’s a pretty important issue.
Your hypothetical points out to me that no matter the situation, women in the periphery of domestic violence are blamed. The man is the one abusing.
The older I get, and the more abuse I see, the more I realize that for many women in DV situations, it is not so simple as report and leave. If I’m remembering correctly75% of domestic violence homicide victims (women) are killed after attempting to leave their abuser.
With the Sandhills community being so quiet, it is no wonder that he has had success for so long. The community just sits by quietly. The quietness is so loud.
The allegations regarding the persons more peripherally associated with the abuse–honestly, I have not been able to follow the whole chain of allegations in this thread. But just a quick aside-many years ago as a high schooler, I interned at the Office of Victim Witness Advocacy at my county. At the time, most of the complaints it handled were DV.
It’s very complicated. Some women don’t have the economic ability to leave their abusers. Sometimes they have friends and family members urging them to stay. Sometimes they feel they must stay for the economic support their kids get or their abuser will hurt their children if they leave. Some women have been abused so long, and saw abuse growing up in the household to the point they truly don’t understand what they (and even their children) are experiencing is abuse. It wasn’t uncommon for women to call the police, then refuse to press charges. Sometimes restraining orders are hard to get and enforce. Some women are even in denial about the abuse of their own kids in the home.
I think we can all talk about abuse in the horse world and drawing lines between training (even harsh correction) and abuse. But in the realm of domestic violence–it’s a very, very complicated situation, and every dynamic is very particular to the family. I would never say to a woman who was being abused, “then just leave” or “just defy your husband,” and assume it was simple, though.
Again, I was only an intern, I’m not an expert, but this is just my thoughts, based on what I observed during that time.
I’m just going to follow up on this, because I feel like my earlier comment with a hypothetical scenario is possibly being misconstrued.
The point I was making was not to blame or shame women experiencing domestic violence. I do understand it’s complicated.
But when someone is professionally licensed as a doctor or a veterinarian, and has an ethical duty as a mandatory reporter… that duty is not necessarily simply waived if they are themselves a victim of abuse.
It is possible to have compassion for victims of abuse, but also to say that they failed key duties as mandatory reporters in terms of reporting the abuse of other victims. And if they fail that key duty? They should face professional repercussions.
So everyone’s experience can be different.