This is a common way to approach the issue but, I hate this, so very much.
Not being able to get up is absolutely terrifying for a prey animal. I would never want that to my horse’s last experience in this world.
32 years old, obviously lame, bad attitude, has trouble getting up - IMO, no day is too early at this point to give him a peaceful last day.
I had a gelding with two bad suspensories. He got around quite well in spite of it and seemed to enjoy his retirement.
Finally, a couple of years ago, I decided it was time. It was difficult getting him through each winter because of the bad footing and several times he slipped while acting like a fool and caused himself some painful (though brief) moments. Keeping him in too much wasn’t an option because he’d just be that much more crazy when turned out again. He had a good appetite and was otherwise quite healthy for his age.
So, I chose a beautiful fall day to say goodbye. He was groomed to perfection and ate so many minty muffins his stomach couldn’t handle anymore. We walked around the yard where all the good grass was and he ate his fill (a special treat since he normally wore a muzzle).
It was the right thing to do and I feel no guilt about it and screw anyone that felt differently. It’s so much easier to deal with the whole process on a timetable you choose rather than reacting to an emergency. When he came to live with me, the vet estimated he’d have a good year or two before he would have to be put down. I gave him almost eight years, so I don’t feel he was cheated in any way.
My wonderful mare unfortunately went down unexpectedly. While it wasn’t horrible and she had a peaceful passing, if I could have seen it coming, i would have planned to say goodbye a bit sooner.
I truly do understand how you’re feeling and I wish you the best on your journey. It’s never an easy decision to make, but your heart will tell you what’s right. Quality of life to me means a lot more than just waiting until he/she can’t get up again.
I wrote a blog when I euthanized my second horse. At the time people didn’t talk about it and I hoped my experience would help others. This is the entry about knowing when it’s time. I hope it helps. My horse was 18.
A tangent here, sorry.
I think we do so much better for our animals than people.
A relative is collapsing mentally and physically. Liver failed, kidneys failing, clots in her legs and lungs, internal bleeding. She can’t tell you what year it is, etc. She keeps asking for her cats.
Honestly, instead of stressful, useless medical tests and care, I wish she could have her cats to cuddle for 30 minutes while she is euthanized.
Does anyone still have Willem’s “This it be right” post?
Is it this one? WILLEM: hallo von der Rainbow Bridge!
Damn it, I read like the first paragraph and started crying, and I’ve got class in 11 minutes!
If you wait until he can not get up you have waited to long.
This article from trainer Julie Goodnight’s website is the best I’ve seen. Thoughtful, realistic, and informative.
It seems this is a common topic on here lately. OP, I know what you are going through. I had my old guy put to rest just last week, on his 25th birthday. He was arthritic, had a bad stifle and a suspensory issue and while he still got around the pasture it was getting obvious he was in more and more discomfort. But I absolutely did not want him to get to that point where he laid down, or fell, and would not be able to get back up. I scheduled the Final Appointment a few weeks in advance with my vet and also made arrangements with the cremation service. It was a very hard decision that I questioned a hundred times after I made the appointment, but I knew in my gut it was the right choice. Between making the appointment and the final day I just enjoyed him, I gave him treats every day, and worked through a grieving process. I cried many, many tears in those weeks. When the day came he went peacefully, just as he should have. My best advice to you, OP, is to pick a day, make the arrangements with vet, removal/burial, BO, whatever needs to be done, and just enjoy him for the remaining time you have left with him. After giving him a good life for 26 years don’t fail him now. It’s been said many times on this forum: taking their pain and making it your own is the kindest thing to do.
Dear OP, I just had to put down my lovely 33yo heart horse, after twenty four years together. He came down with EPM when he was 30 so the last three years have been a battle with meds, along with his cushings and old stifle injury. Depsite all that, he was full of life, sound and no other “old man” issues. In fact, after a thorough grooming on his final night, he prompted walked out to his field and rolled in mud.
He hated the summer and it really took a toll on him. He was taking longer to go out and I noticed he had started to “cough” like congestive heart failure. I picked a beautiful spring day, surrounded by his mates and let him go in his field. It was quiet, painless and dignified; he deserved no less. His best old man friend still called for him for two days and that was the worst part, besides my broken heart and the void that he left behind.
Hugs to you for having to face this time, but it truly is our responsibility to make that decision before something happens that you’ll regret. Cherish the lovely memory you have of him now and not the “end” that could be so brutal for him. We’re here for you and trust me, there are many feet that have walked this path before you…
Wishing you wisdom, peace and strength
Be blessed
)O(
Yes, that’s it. Thank you. I am always bawling within the first two sentences, but I am saved by the line about “no stinking flounder.”
He’s already given you plenty of signs that his quality of life has diminished.
Between the having trouble getting up, crabby attitude, weight falling off him and lameness, I’m not sure what more you’re waiting to see? Your horse will always quietly graze until the time comes that he’s so distressed he doesn’t wish to eat anymore. If you feel guilty because you see him quietly graze and it makes you think it’s too soon, what you’re doing is grasping on to the one positive sign left in his life despite him having several other visible negative signs. When the time comes that he loses that last basic instinct to graze, don’t you think he’s suffered enough by that point?
From what you’ve written, it sounds like his time. Hugs to you.
Thank you all so much for the experiences and opinions. Ironically, years ago I knew an old horse in similar condition as mine and wondered why something wasn’t done. Now, here i am in that position . I wish I could get understanding from BO but I know their feelings on this. Thank you all again.
This is your decision, not your BO’s or other boarders or friends… yours. You will be the one perhaps having to re-think what you should have done… not your BO or anyone else. Everyone else thinks they should judge but they don’t have to live with the possible mental or emotional feelings that you might. They think they can judge and then they move on. You might not.
He is yours. You’ve shared 26 memorable years together. It is not an easy decision by any means but it should not be easy. Knowing your beloved friend and companion is no longer in pain. Knowing you are not waiting for the dreaded call from the BO that finally your horse can’t get up. These should help ease your decision.
Know there are many here to help support your decision and not sit in judgement.
My first horse was getting OLD (30+). I had given him to my son who LOVED him.
This horse absolutely adored rolling. When he was young he could roll all the way over, then after around 25 it went down to rolling on one side, getting up, getting down on the other side and rolling on that side.
I told my son if I saw the signs that he was no longer rolling (mud or dirt on his coat) it would be time.
Colic got him first, at age 33 (I had to beg the vet to put him down, the vet wanted me to spend $6,000 USD for the operation, at age 33, I said no.) If colic had not gotten him I would have put him down when he quit rolling because that would show me that he was scared he could not get up again.
I loved that horse, even after 20 some years after he died I still sometimes cry because I miss him so much.
Your horse, your decision. I’m so sick of hearing about these BOs trying to make people feel guilty about choosing what is best for their horse.
Wow, I’m so sorry. I hope you reported the vet to your state board. This is wildly unethical. And I hope you found a new vet.
It’s your horse, and your choice. Not your BO’s. Not anyone else’s. Your horses depends on you to be his advocate, to make the tough choices. You don’t have to answer to the BO, or even tell them what’s going on until the arrangements are made.
I do understand - my dad can’t stand it when I have to have an animal put to sleep (as he has a dog that is blind, deaf, senile, and can’t walk a straight line anymore); I think he equates it to playing God, or maybe that I’m giving up on the animal, taking the easy way out. The only time I didn’t take some kind of flak for it was when I put my old mare down in 2019; he could see how much pain she was in.
But ultimately, it’s not his choice, any more than it’s your BO’s choice. You won’t get them to see reason; don’t try. Just do what you know in your heart is the right thing to do.
From the first entry in my blog:
The decision is made, but the questions about whether I’m right, is this the time, could I keep him going, is that a sign he wants to hang around a while longer, and so on don’t go away. I keep looking for confirmation that I’m right, or solid evidence I’m wrong. But there isn’t any either way at this stage. He looks good right now - many people have said so. I remember last winter and how he had some trouble handling the weather. I see the subtle changes in him that warn of larger problems come winter.
I finally realized that while the answer to the question “could I keep him going through another winter or several?” is a definite yes, that is the wrong question. The real question needs to be “Should I?” and to that question I must reluctantly answer “no”. He definitely deserves better than being forced to endure life simply because I’m not ready to let him go. I never will be ready.
(((hugs)))
No, it did not occur to me to report him.
Luckily the next vet from the practice, well after around 20 minutes, another rectal exam, etc., that vet finally listened to my desire not to have my heart horse die in agony.
From then on, well if the veterinarian had been trained in Great Britain I sighed a big sigh of relief. British women seem to have a deeper appreciation of the limits of veterinary science and deeply understand that it is humane to put down a horse rather than spend thousands of dollars and put the horse through an experience that they cannot understand even when they are feeling well.
This vet refusing to put my horse out of his agony was instrumental in my eventual decision not to own a horse again. I NEVER wanted to have to beg for the death of the entity that I loved most in the world (and my husband and sons understood this, Hat Tricks was SPECIAL.)
Please also see the other side. I’m a barn owner (not a commercial boarding stable) who has seen the other end. The owners didn’t make the decision. I’m the one who had to call - your horse is down and can’t get up, your horse just had yet another seizure this time his eyes rolled up in his head, your horse, who you know is critically ill dying of kidney disease, will no longer pick his head up.
OP, did you have a long talk with the BO? Maybe when they gave you an opinion you had not yet decided what you wanted to do. I think maybe you were still unsure when you talked with the BO because you came here asking advice. Try talking with the BO again, you’ve talked with many on here and I think now you have made a decision. The BO may change their opinion or at least show you compassion and support you.
Please, all on here (this is not pointed at the OP) have a little compassion for the BO who takes care of the horse 365 days a year after year, who loves the horse as they love all their own horses, who has to go into the barn with that empty space, who has to see the other horses mourning the loss of their friend.
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