A tangent here, sorry.
I think we do so much better for our animals than people.
A relative is collapsing mentally and physically. Liver failed, kidneys failing, clots in her legs and lungs, internal bleeding. She can’t tell you what year it is, etc. She keeps asking for her cats.
Honestly, instead of stressful, useless medical tests and care, I wish she could have her cats to cuddle for 30 minutes while she is euthanized.
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Does anyone still have Willem’s “This it be right” post?
Is it this one? WILLEM: hallo von der Rainbow Bridge!
Damn it, I read like the first paragraph and started crying, and I’ve got class in 11 minutes!
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If you wait until he can not get up you have waited to long.
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This article from trainer Julie Goodnight’s website is the best I’ve seen. Thoughtful, realistic, and informative.
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It seems this is a common topic on here lately. OP, I know what you are going through. I had my old guy put to rest just last week, on his 25th birthday. He was arthritic, had a bad stifle and a suspensory issue and while he still got around the pasture it was getting obvious he was in more and more discomfort. But I absolutely did not want him to get to that point where he laid down, or fell, and would not be able to get back up. I scheduled the Final Appointment a few weeks in advance with my vet and also made arrangements with the cremation service. It was a very hard decision that I questioned a hundred times after I made the appointment, but I knew in my gut it was the right choice. Between making the appointment and the final day I just enjoyed him, I gave him treats every day, and worked through a grieving process. I cried many, many tears in those weeks. When the day came he went peacefully, just as he should have. My best advice to you, OP, is to pick a day, make the arrangements with vet, removal/burial, BO, whatever needs to be done, and just enjoy him for the remaining time you have left with him. After giving him a good life for 26 years don’t fail him now. It’s been said many times on this forum: taking their pain and making it your own is the kindest thing to do.
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Dear OP, I just had to put down my lovely 33yo heart horse, after twenty four years together. He came down with EPM when he was 30 so the last three years have been a battle with meds, along with his cushings and old stifle injury. Depsite all that, he was full of life, sound and no other “old man” issues. In fact, after a thorough grooming on his final night, he prompted walked out to his field and rolled in mud.
He hated the summer and it really took a toll on him. He was taking longer to go out and I noticed he had started to “cough” like congestive heart failure. I picked a beautiful spring day, surrounded by his mates and let him go in his field. It was quiet, painless and dignified; he deserved no less. His best old man friend still called for him for two days and that was the worst part, besides my broken heart and the void that he left behind.
Hugs to you for having to face this time, but it truly is our responsibility to make that decision before something happens that you’ll regret. Cherish the lovely memory you have of him now and not the “end” that could be so brutal for him. We’re here for you and trust me, there are many feet that have walked this path before you…
Wishing you wisdom, peace and strength
Be blessed
)O(
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Yes, that’s it. Thank you. I am always bawling within the first two sentences, but I am saved by the line about “no stinking flounder.”
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He’s already given you plenty of signs that his quality of life has diminished.
Between the having trouble getting up, crabby attitude, weight falling off him and lameness, I’m not sure what more you’re waiting to see? Your horse will always quietly graze until the time comes that he’s so distressed he doesn’t wish to eat anymore. If you feel guilty because you see him quietly graze and it makes you think it’s too soon, what you’re doing is grasping on to the one positive sign left in his life despite him having several other visible negative signs. When the time comes that he loses that last basic instinct to graze, don’t you think he’s suffered enough by that point?
From what you’ve written, it sounds like his time. Hugs to you.
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Thank you all so much for the experiences and opinions. Ironically, years ago I knew an old horse in similar condition as mine and wondered why something wasn’t done. Now, here i am in that position . I wish I could get understanding from BO but I know their feelings on this. Thank you all again.
This is your decision, not your BO’s or other boarders or friends… yours. You will be the one perhaps having to re-think what you should have done… not your BO or anyone else. Everyone else thinks they should judge but they don’t have to live with the possible mental or emotional feelings that you might. They think they can judge and then they move on. You might not.
He is yours. You’ve shared 26 memorable years together. It is not an easy decision by any means but it should not be easy. Knowing your beloved friend and companion is no longer in pain. Knowing you are not waiting for the dreaded call from the BO that finally your horse can’t get up. These should help ease your decision.
Know there are many here to help support your decision and not sit in judgement.
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My first horse was getting OLD (30+). I had given him to my son who LOVED him.
This horse absolutely adored rolling. When he was young he could roll all the way over, then after around 25 it went down to rolling on one side, getting up, getting down on the other side and rolling on that side.
I told my son if I saw the signs that he was no longer rolling (mud or dirt on his coat) it would be time.
Colic got him first, at age 33 (I had to beg the vet to put him down, the vet wanted me to spend $6,000 USD for the operation, at age 33, I said no.) If colic had not gotten him I would have put him down when he quit rolling because that would show me that he was scared he could not get up again.
I loved that horse, even after 20 some years after he died I still sometimes cry because I miss him so much.
Your horse, your decision. I’m so sick of hearing about these BOs trying to make people feel guilty about choosing what is best for their horse.
Wow, I’m so sorry. I hope you reported the vet to your state board. This is wildly unethical. And I hope you found a new vet.
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It’s your horse, and your choice. Not your BO’s. Not anyone else’s. Your horses depends on you to be his advocate, to make the tough choices. You don’t have to answer to the BO, or even tell them what’s going on until the arrangements are made.
I do understand - my dad can’t stand it when I have to have an animal put to sleep (as he has a dog that is blind, deaf, senile, and can’t walk a straight line anymore); I think he equates it to playing God, or maybe that I’m giving up on the animal, taking the easy way out. The only time I didn’t take some kind of flak for it was when I put my old mare down in 2019; he could see how much pain she was in.
But ultimately, it’s not his choice, any more than it’s your BO’s choice. You won’t get them to see reason; don’t try. Just do what you know in your heart is the right thing to do.
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From the first entry in my blog:
The decision is made, but the questions about whether I’m right, is this the time, could I keep him going, is that a sign he wants to hang around a while longer, and so on don’t go away. I keep looking for confirmation that I’m right, or solid evidence I’m wrong. But there isn’t any either way at this stage. He looks good right now - many people have said so. I remember last winter and how he had some trouble handling the weather. I see the subtle changes in him that warn of larger problems come winter.
I finally realized that while the answer to the question “could I keep him going through another winter or several?” is a definite yes, that is the wrong question. The real question needs to be “Should I?” and to that question I must reluctantly answer “no”. He definitely deserves better than being forced to endure life simply because I’m not ready to let him go. I never will be ready.
(((hugs)))
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No, it did not occur to me to report him.
Luckily the next vet from the practice, well after around 20 minutes, another rectal exam, etc., that vet finally listened to my desire not to have my heart horse die in agony.
From then on, well if the veterinarian had been trained in Great Britain I sighed a big sigh of relief. British women seem to have a deeper appreciation of the limits of veterinary science and deeply understand that it is humane to put down a horse rather than spend thousands of dollars and put the horse through an experience that they cannot understand even when they are feeling well.
This vet refusing to put my horse out of his agony was instrumental in my eventual decision not to own a horse again. I NEVER wanted to have to beg for the death of the entity that I loved most in the world (and my husband and sons understood this, Hat Tricks was SPECIAL.)
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Please also see the other side. I’m a barn owner (not a commercial boarding stable) who has seen the other end. The owners didn’t make the decision. I’m the one who had to call - your horse is down and can’t get up, your horse just had yet another seizure this time his eyes rolled up in his head, your horse, who you know is critically ill dying of kidney disease, will no longer pick his head up.
OP, did you have a long talk with the BO? Maybe when they gave you an opinion you had not yet decided what you wanted to do. I think maybe you were still unsure when you talked with the BO because you came here asking advice. Try talking with the BO again, you’ve talked with many on here and I think now you have made a decision. The BO may change their opinion or at least show you compassion and support you.
Please, all on here (this is not pointed at the OP) have a little compassion for the BO who takes care of the horse 365 days a year after year, who loves the horse as they love all their own horses, who has to go into the barn with that empty space, who has to see the other horses mourning the loss of their friend.
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Touché, what I really meant was I’m sick of BO’s who judge and make HO’s feel guilty about choosing to euthanize, not necessarily the other way around.
I, too, am a BO.
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I have no idea how OP’s barn owner actually feels but I’m in this situation myself. Old horse starting to come apart and making the decision about when to put my guy down. The barn owner has been present during conversations with the vet and we’ve had conversations too. While she never said she thought it was too soon, I sort of had the feeling she may think that because she never flat out agreed with me that it was time. I made my decision though and I did go ahead and schedule with the vet today to put my old man down later this week. Deep down, I know it’s the right time.
I text barn owner to let her know the details and she sent me the absolute nicest text back about how she has admired how I’ve cared for my old man and that it’s better to let him go on a good day and that he was very lucky to have me. I was so pleasantly surprised and appreciative of that text, I guess maybe it was that she didn’t want to sway me with her opinion rather than that she disagreed…again who knows about your barn owner OP but it’s something to consider anyway. I do agree with everyone else though, even if she does think it’s too soon, it doesn’t matter. It’s your horse and you’ll be the one that has to live with what you’ve decided and after letting one of my cats go too long (which I didn’t realize I was even doing at the time), I’ll never knowingly do that to one of my animals again. I’m sorry OP, it’s hard no matter what.
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I apologize mmeqcenter. I did misread your post. I’m still a little raw from all the loss on my farm. In 30 years I’ve had one horse euthanized. In the last two years - four on my farm.
I was reading this thread because of all the kind sentiment and support you have given to the OP.
One of the horse owners and I danced around the word euthanasia during “the” phone call. Neither wanting to say the word even though we were both in agreement about what was best for the horse. The call lasted 45 minutes. I’m glad we took our time.
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