I’m struggling here. I appreciate that people are trying to find reasons why this happened- as mentioned in previous posts, I see value in that process and think it should be a greater focus of our sport. However, I also see so many assumptions and judgments that are based on little information, specific moments in time, and often, pure speculation.
Please read this in a calm tone. I am honestly trying to see this from all sides, rationally and balanced.
I’m in, say, the sixth or seventh ring according to ring theory of grief (thanks whoever linked that earlier- it’s so important): I knew Kat and used to ride at Sandridge, with the same trainer. And of course the eventing world is small here- everyone knows everyone to some degree. I have friends who are suffering terribly because they knew Kat intimately and were true friends. They peeked at this board initially to try to find comfort or solidarity in that feeling of “how could they keep running the event after this happened” but quickly had to stop looking after some of the cruel comments on here, for their own mental health. Not hard-to-read comments, or “too soon comments”… harsh and unfounded comments that weren’t helpful. I won’t rehash all that now. I don’t know what’s good for me, and can’t stop following the thread- or maybe I feel like someone has to keep an eye on this for Kat’s sake. I do think there has been some good discussion, and I appreciate the willingness to try to find answers and make positive change happen.
It’s bewildering though. In this thread, people have judged Kat’s riding as dangerous, made suppositions about her income, her motivation, her ego, even what was going through her head as she approached the jump. They’ve judged her horse as not having enough scope, the right brain for the level, said she was an unwilling partner, and a tragic casualty of ego. People have made decisions regarding her coach’s riding and teaching abilities, and motivations and values.
I just have to say that for those of us who knew Kat, these were not our experiences. Kat was respected and admired at the barn, for her excellent horsemanship, her kindness, and her positive energy. She was brave- yes, very brave. Which is typically something we admire in eventing- though when things turn for the worse, it’s easy to point at that with hindsight as being reckless instead. To me, that feels like turning on one of our own, for a trait that we actively encourage and celebrate in the sport.
I just really want to remind everyone that Kat was all of us- she loved her horse, knew she had a lot to work on, and was actively working on them by seeking out multiple trainers and doing the homework. She knew Rebecca was a disaster- I won’t say more because again, that’s not my place.
But explaining away her death by saying it was her dangerous riding, or her ego, or her coach’s negligence is:
A. potentially not accurate- there is only so much you can do with videos over the internet, no matter what you would like to believe, you are making judgments with limited information. Note, I said potentially: I don’t claim to be the expert on anyone else’s riding or decisions. And,
B. will not keep you or others safe- it puts you in more danger actually if you think that what happened to her wouldn’t happen to you because you’re a better rider, or more self-aware, or have a better coach, or whatever. Because she wasn’t doing anything different from most eventers: she was enthusiastic about moving up the levels (ambition is not inherently bad, just as lack of ambition isn’t), and athletic and fit, and had a horse that had potential (by the standards of other UL riders that I will not expand on- not my right).
So, I agree we need to come together to solve this huge glaring problem in the sport. I think it should be with a combination of rider/horse competency, data analysis, and course safety. And safety equipment, if there’s more to be done there (like the vests).
If there’s a constructive way to use Kat and Kerry as an example of what we could do better in the sport, for the sake of our riders and horses, then I support that! I do believe in root cause analysis, and investigation, and understanding the path to disaster so we can prevent others. That has to be done by the right people/bodies/organizations though. I don’t think it’s constructive, empathetic, or even necessarily accurate to make declarations about her riding or that of her coach based on some videos. I know some will argue with that, saying they show a trend etc, but those are still moments in time. The argument has been used to prove the exact opposite in this very thread, to show that anyone can find a bad video or picture of a good horseman- no one is perfect at all times. They just don’t show the whole story. Even worse is if we make judgments about what they were thinking or about their values/motivations as a result of videos.
I guess that’s mostly what I came to say. It’s easy to look back and find all the red flags and connect the dots, so if we can prevent anyone else from getting hurt let’s analyze those, but I do worry that no one seems to realize that Kat was just like the rest of us. Fully immersed in a sport she loved, with a horse she treasured.