Are cat behaviorist worth it?

[Shiaway]

Hello,

Earlier in the year I adopted two cat from a shelter. They originally came from a backyard breeder/hoarder. I also have two residents cats I raised as kittens.

Long story short while my older boy gets along with the newbies just fine my older girl initially seemed ok and even was napping with them at first and then something must have happened and now she bullies and attacks them.

I’ve since separated them by diving up the house which sucks. I’ve worked with one behaviorist recommended by my vet but after the initial consult she’s been difficult to reach. Her recommendation involved clicker training and “engage/disengage” which I tried but this approach seemed like it was more geared towards an over reactive dog. My cat doesn’t care about the new cats if there are treats around. They could walk right up to her and she’d ignore them if she knows i have a treat.

But when I don’t then she looks at them like she’s waiting for one to turn its back so she can pounce on it.

Anyway, I’m thinking to contract another behaviorist but it will be about $350 which is a lot of money and I’m just feeling rather hopeless that it will help. My vet also seems to think I should send the new cats back to the shelter. She said I should give them 6 months and that time is up at the end of this month. I’m pretty upset about it because i love them…

Sorry this is rambley. Has anyone had success with a behaviorist? The first one has kind of made me leary not just bc the suggestion didn’t seem to be helping but more so bc she so quickly abandoned me afterward when I tried to get more help.

[Catherine616]

I do not have experience with a cat behaviorist. In my long experience of having cats I unfortunately don’t think a behaviorist would be helpful. Once they have animosity toward each other it doesn’t really change, however in time mine did learn to co-exist. I never separated them but no one actually got hurt. It was kind of you to adopt from the shelter, good luck!

[skydy]

This guy seems to have a lot of knowledge about cat behavior.
Don’t let his looks get in the way. https://www.youtube.com/@JacksonGalaxy

[skydy]

Cat introduction video;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsYT7yIOdqQ&themeRefresh=1

[Shiaway]

Thanks. I have heard and watched many episodes of jackson galaxy. I did do a slow introduction although apparently not slow enough. It did seem like in the beginning they were fine with each other.

Unfortunately she has hurt both of them minorly. She mostly swats at them and at their faces. Her first attack when this started was with the boy she got his eye but thankfully only cause a tiny ulceration and he healed with eye meds and an expensive vet bill. She also got the girl on her face but just superficially. I have since been keeping her nails very short although like I said they are separated currently.

[GraceLikeRain]

I manage an incompatible household. One of my males is a really four letter word towards the two older females but a downright bully for the mostly blind one. I don’t think it’s truly grounded in malice but rather insecurity and a poorly channeled play drive.

Realistically, rehoming him would have been best but we are 7 years in and there’s no way I’m putting a 9 year old cat into the system.

Ours aren’t out together unsupervised, ever. For years we would play the boy down until he was panting tired with a laser or toy. Everyone got dinner. Supervised socialized time until bed. Separate again rotating through bedroom.

We went from 10-15 attempted jumps during supervised time to just a few a week. Over time she’s learned he isn’t trying to maim her but she still finds it scary.

The timid one is on Busperone and the dominant insecure is on Prozac. Both are cheap and easily fed in a pill pocket. Busperone is not recommended for an aggressor. We also have a million cat beds, towers, window seats, and a screened in porch for good resting and mental stimulation.

If you are in an area where you can ethically rehome, it may be a consideration. Personally, our shelters are a death sentence or a decade in a no kill so it’s not a route I’d consider. I would have humanely euthanized instead. Now, they can lounge on the screened in porch for hours and sometimes mutually groom on the couch. It is a lifestyle commitment. I don’t think any behaviorist will come in and give you a quick fix.

[Shiaway]

My main issue in keeping them permanently separated is they are siamese and very much needing to be where I am. It seems no matter which side I’m on one of them is crying…it’s hard to live this way.

I really don’t want to rehome and I believe I’m contractually obligated to give them back to the rescue if I wanted to rehome. But I guess I should do it soon if I end up doing it because they are still young and maybe that would help them get adopted. But I’m really attached to them as selfish as that is and my older boy loves them as well now…he and the new boy wrestle a lot.

[OzarksRider]

I’ve never used a cat behaviorist but I’ve had over a dozen cats over the years. I hesitate to tell you what to do because I don’t know your cats or your situation other than what you’ve described, but here goes anyway . . .

You say the newbies are still young and you really don’t want to rehome them or send them back to the shelter or keep them permanently separated. So don’t. Let them mingle but keep a water pistol handy to break up any fights, and only spray the aggressor. I really think time will cure this problem, but it will take more than six months. Several years ago I took in a stray that wanted to pick fights with my alpha cat. The alpha cat knocked the newbie across the room more times than I can count, and I had to treat him for several bites, but after about a year he finally settled down.

I really think that with time things will get better, although your older cat may always be a little pissy with the newbies. It may be that she is feeling insecure and jealous, and some extra attention from you might help.

You are not being selfish for wanting to keep these cats, and it would be hard on them to lose the home they’ve come to know. And to answer your question–no, I don’t think a cat behaviorist would help. I think it will just take more tincture of time.

[beowulf]

Have you catified your home? I might save your $$ and opt for that first, because that will be one of the first suggestions by the cat behaviorist anyway. Lots of high shelves, multiple places to sleep, and make sure you have multiple litterboxes and multiple sources of water around the house - that is non-negotiable for troubled households.

I also manage an incompatible household. It’s not just tiring, it’s expensive - incompatible cats are miserable and usually need a little chemical support to keep the peace.

But, I put a lot of cat shelves in my house. There’s more cat furniture than human furniture. I’m in the process of building a permanent catio. I have noticed just letting them exist out on the (screened) porch with me while I read when I get home gets a lot of bickering out of their system. It might be worth seeing if you can do something similar.

[OzarksRider]

@beowulf

I have noticed just letting them exist out on the (screened) porch with me while I read when I get home gets a lot of bickering out of their system.

This is an excellent point. My cats are indoor/outdoor, so they can go off and do their own thing. This really keeps the spats to a minimum.

[MunchingonHay]

have you tried those calming collars?

My bestie fosters cats and has 6 in her own pride. She seems to foster fail every few cats. She has calming collars on the ones that have harder times getting along and then she weans them off.

[Shiaway]

Maybe I should try the collars. I had the plug ins and didn’t feel they made a difference. I will also try to catify more and could screen in my porch. Thank you for the suggestions.

[SusanO]

Hansel and Gretel were dumped here as kittens. Gremlin who lived here hated them and was mean to them. They grew up and decided to get even. Hansel (who was neutered early) acts like she is an invading tomcat and has tried to kill her. She has had so many abscesses where he has bitten her. Luckily I have a farm where Hansel and Gretel can live outdoors. If Gremlin slips out, he finds her quickly and bites her and his sister runs interference for him. So I have to be really careful because Gremlin loves to run outside. No way could they co-exist inside. Or outside. I don’t think a behavioralist would be able to fix this problem, nor drugs. They just have to be separate. This isn’t dislike - it is I am going to kill you. Hansel gets along fine with the newest dumpee who also gets along with Gremlin. There is no telling with cats.

[CleverUserName]

I lost one of my boys last year, and I thought my other cat (his brother) would be lonely. So, after a short grieving period, I went to the shelter and immediately connected with a three year old cat (my cat is older, so I didn’t think he would like a kitten).

My situation was the same as you described. Initially, they seemed ok, but something changed in my cat and he started viciously attacking her. To the point where she was terrified, and I could see it wasn’t working. I had tried separating them, and I managed to keep her in the bedroom and he had the rest of the place. Honestly, I think that made it worse. I’d alternate sleeping in the bedroom and in the loft, but he got even more aggressive. I really think it upset his routine too much.

I contacted a cat behaviourist, but she wasn’t able to suggest much beyond what I was doing. She said some older cats just will not accept new cats. I tried calming collars, Feliway, CBD oil, calming treats…nothing worked.

Luckily, a friend of mine adopted the one I was fostering, and she has blossomed. I visit and cat sit for her (at her place) when she needs, so I’m able to see her. It broke my heart to have to admit it wasn’t working, but she is much better for it. And, my cat is much happier on his own. He’s my best bud, and I had to think about what was best for him, mentally.

[jherold]

I think people need to remember that cats are not pack animals. For the most part, they are perfectly happy living alone. Too many cats in too small of a territory causes stress.

[Shiaway]

In the past I have had 3 meezers who all were very bonded to each other. My old gal who has since passed adapted very well to the new ones but I got them as kittens and these I got as young adults.

It’s very discouraging reading the posts. Plus this weekend has been tough because I thought we were making progress with the treat sessions but my mom came down and left the door open and next thing I hear them having a huge fight tho thankfully no one got injured. It just sounded awful.

[GraceLikeRain]

One thing that helped me a lot was reframing a noisy altercation vs a true fight. If they want to draw blood they will every time. In less than a second they can deeply puncture another cat. If they scuffle and emerge unscathed you likely have a general bully and a submissive who won’t engage. It’s still scary and stressful but often times mentally and physically tiring out the bully goes a long way. In 8 years my duo has drawn blood once despite hundreds of noisy icky interactions. He doesn’t want to hurt her, he just sees her as an oversized toy to hunt and she’s so meek she won’t beat him up for stalking and diving her. I do think the reframing is helpful because seeing them as fighting brings in a lot of emotion that may not be present. Your old lady is annoyed and resentful but it doesn’t sound like she wants to actually hurt them.

[Shiaway]

Thanks that is helpful. I took vacation this week and am spending a lot of time a lot home with them. I’ve been letting them together bc she ignores them if they sitting with me. If she does chase them it seems like she just gets them into a corner somewhere and once they hunker down she leaves them alone. Like she just wants to bully them. She also did curl up with them for a bit the other day. I think all of us were rather confused about what was happening.

[GraceLikeRain]

@Shiaway

She also did curl up with them for a bit the other day. I think all of us were rather confused about what was happening.

Such a good sign. When a cat genuinely hates another cat, there are never sweet moments. Hopefully you’ll continue to see forward progress and the submissive ones will learn it isn’t too personal.

[ASBJumper]

Agree with this. We have two boys, both pandemic kittens. One was adopted in 2020 as a kitten and the other was adopted a year later, so the first one was 1 yr old when we brought the second kitten home. They get along just fine, but are not “bonded”. Both prefer the company of humans. I have never seen them sleep together as adults. They play fight every so often, and the younger one (our orange boy) is a D-R-A-M-A queen. OMG the screams and hisses are in-SANE, you’d honestly think he was being mutilated, skinned, amputated, SOMEthing. We used to bolt out of our chairs/out of bed/etc to go break it up, only to find them staring at us like “whut…?” with nary a hair out of place, every time.

Now when we hear the bloodcurdling yowls and screams and we don’t even blink, LOL. And hilariously, we’ve also come to realize it’s almost always the orange boi who instigates the play fighting. He’s a glutton for punishment.