Are you “good enough” for the equestrian world?
I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time (actually for over 2.5 years), so I apologize in advance for the length of this post and I also realize it could be controversial, but I write it in a hope to provoke thought. In the past couple of years (after coming back to this sport in 2019) I have to be honest that I’ve asked myself this question probably 500 times.
As a child, I always loved horses and my parents certainly did what they could to help my sister and I fulfill our dream of having a horse. I so fondly remember spending Saturdays at the barn getting my horse bathed and ready for the Sunday horse shows. I remember getting my tack trunk packed for longer shows (which a week was a long show 
), I remember planning with my barn mates the costumes we would wear for tandems and jumper teams, truly it was a glorious time of life! I remember our evening group lessons under the lights with our friends, I remember going “off course” because we were chatting when we should’ve been paying attention, I remember riding bareback and painting my horses feet with twinkle toes. Truly it was the best childhood a kid could ask for.
For me, horses were a bit of an escape from what was going on at home. They would always listen and they never told anyone any secrets I would tell them. I was lucky enough to spend my teenage years with some very special trainers and people. The people who truly taught me how to really ride and I think they know who they are 
. Those very people are the reason I have the ability to have my own farm and horses, and have green and young horses. They were honest, supportive, and truly what you look for in a coach.
I never ever questioned whether I was good enough for this equestrian world until about 2.5 years ago after we bought our farm. Moving East definitely changed an element to what I knew as this sport, however, I won’t say it’s just that because you only know what is around you at a given time for the most part, and I’ve heard a lot of the same from friends on both coasts. I think truly Covid changed a lot and not for the better in this world. But I can tell you the equestrian world today in my personal experience is nothing like what I grew up in and described above.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what it is that is so different. Why would I even begin to question whether I’m good enough for this? My husband and I try to be as generous as we can always be: we prioritize taking care of people who work for us whether in our business or at the farm, we try to always take care of all of the people around the horses (trainers, their staff, etc), and we truly give as much as we really honestly can. As I started to reflect I realized that it wasn’t me that was truly not good enough but it was an undercurrent throughout the industry: nothing and no one is ever “good enough” for the long-term. No matter how much money you spend on horses, how much you try to reward, show appreciation for, or help, tip, thank etc the people around you, or how many horse shows you attend, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on this as a hobby, it’s just simply “never enough”. It dawned on me earlier this year when I looked around at people at the shows that I didn’t know one person around that I would consider truly “happy” or fulfilled! I can probably count on one hand the amount I know that are happy in this sport at this point😬. So while I could easily show and campaign, buy more horses and spend our life on the road from show to show, I’ve decided to take a different path for myself and my horses. And I’m lucky enough to have my own farm so I can do that.
I can’t say I’ve personally ever felt the way in life I have felt in this sport in the past several years. In so many respects it’s been a mental, physical, and emotional drain on both my horses and myself. And I find it extremely sad, but I also know I’m surely not alone in this. So many top riders of the past that I’m still friends with (people who truly can ride circles around most amateurs or juniors we see today) feel the same, and they don’t really miss the showing at all! Instead they’ve made their life about saving some of the great horses that have done so much for so many people and riders. My hope is that in time there will be change, change for horses to be treated better, for a level playing field without undetectable drugging of the hunters, without these animals seeing a lunge line for hours, for a reset to understand we are all just doing our very best, including the horses.
The amount of suicide in this sport in the past couple of years is staggering and frightening, another was just lost last week 
. My hope for everyone in this is that you find compassion for others, you remember why we fell in love with this sport and even more with the horses as little girls and boys, and just remember people are just trying to do their best and just be “enough”. Stop the witch hunting (the attack of Karl this week makes all of this even more evident to me). Stop expecting more from everything and everyone (your clients, your trainers, your horses). The sport needs change and reform, but that takes people stepping back, truly looking around, and demanding it. Not being ok with poor treatment of people and horses and turning a blind eye for a ribbon or self admiration at the costs of the animals and others mental and physical well-being.
). My horses get to BE horses, and while I expect them to be good citizens, I also TEACH them those skills in a way that makes sense. I am always trying to learn how to be a better horseman, and I have FUN.
