Are you “good enough” for the equestrian world?

[Calvincrowe]

I too, find it strange that so many find the HJ world so broken, so unhappy. I’ve spent 30 years at A and local shows, and maybe I’m blind but most folks are kind, helpful, respectful and love their horses. Certainly, there are issues within our sport. Always have been, despite the rose colored “good old days” that is often tossed out. Certainly, there are a few competitors who just ooze dissatisfaction and ugliness. I bet they’re in eventing and dressage and every other equestrian sport.

OP, if you look at any sport or activity at the top levels you’ll find this who buy their way to the top, and are not happy no matter what. Rich people be crazy, especially those who only want the glory, not the work.

[CanteringCarrot]

I was talking with a good friend the other day and I said how many concussions I’ve had. She then asked if I ever noticed any cognitive or other changes after any of them. I said no, but also that I hadn’t paid any mind to it. My last one was in 2017 (not even horse related). Now I wonder!

[CanteringCarrot]

Am I good enough for the equestrian world? I’m not sure that I care or even consider that as a question that holds value to me. I mean, sometimes the equestrian world isn’t good enough for the horses, to be frank about it, and too many don’t consider that, IMO. This will just take a nosedive into animal welfare, so I won’t bang on for too long about it.

Too many have lost sight of the horse, IMO. It’s a very selfish hobby or sport, and I say that as someone that participates in it. I have my own lines in the sand, and I focus on those. It’s frustrating when others don’t have the same cares or lines in the sand, but I can’t exhaust myself thinking about it too much.

I promised myself with this current horse that I wouldn’t get burnt out, do too much, or even do it all if it wasn’t going to be fun, for the both of us. If I don’t want to do it, then I won’t. Felt weird in the beginning, to be honest!

I do think that this is larger than the horse world though. Nothing is ever good enough because we live in a society of highlight reels and instant gratification. We’re also told “not to settle” and only expect the best. Which is fine in some respects, but destructive in others when we become too demanding and unrealistic.

With social media we constantly see highlight reels of people’s horsey lives. We rarely hear or see the struggles, the day to day stuff, or the mundane. So we start to (often subconsciously) think that’s how things really are and how we need to be. We then apply way too much pressure on ourselves to not live in reality, basically. So “filtering ones feed” when it comes to social media can help.

My biggest thing is that when I allow myself to get distracted by the misc BS, it steals my sunshine, because I let it. Only I can control and determine how I feel. No one else can make me feel bad. Only I can do that. That was a bit of a revelation.

Don’t get me wrong, horse ownership has its “downs” for me, but at those points I have to stop, reassess, and determine the root cause. It’s then up to me what happens next.

For me, having my own little bubble world on my own farm would be great, but I also don’t need the social spect to thrive. It’s different strokes for different folks. You just have to know yourself, stay true to that, and go about your way.

I share a lot of the same frustrations as you, OP. It’s hard to stop it from getting to me at times. So I often have to “half halt” myself. There are many things that need a changin’ and sometimes the best I can do is be the best I can be within my little bubble. Whether that’s me and my one horse at a boarding barn, or me and my many horses at my home farm.

I don’t really know how to change the tides, but they do need changing.

[blondewithchrome]

Great post, and precisely how I feel. I have been reading this thread thinking, “am a good enough for the horse world? What an odd question” because it never even crosses my mind. I have a barn group that is so supportive, a trainer who lets our horses be horses, and a horse who is in a very similar program to you - 12 hours of turnout a day, no lunging or prep at shows, just rides and grazes and hand walks on non show days, shows in 3 classes TOPS a weekend (jumper here) and lots of field and trail rides and fun lessons followed by brunch with my ammy crew at home, no matter if we’re jumping .80 or 1.20.

I never once stop and think - “am I good enough?” - because I am pleased with my horses welfare, the care we give him, and the enjoyment I get every time I put my foot in the stirrup. The better question OP seeming needs to ask is, “am I happy with the way I am doing things?” And if the answer is no, then change. Find a different type of showing, management, take a break, etc. being “good enough” is an ever changing standard that differs from person to person, but being happy and satisfied with how you “do” horses is a personal standard you have the power to change, if needed. And that’s the beauty of horses.

[Foitin]

What do you mean by “good enough”? A good enough rider? Rich enough? Tough enough? I don’t understand how “good enough” relates to the majority of your post. I have a mental illness that is “severe” in a clinical sense, so please know I’m not being cynical or critical, I just don’t understand the connection. Can you help me understand?

[ParadoxFarm]

@RAyers

I am totally good enough! I have a $3000 horse, a truck and trailer with 500,000+ miles, I play at 1.10-1.15 jumpers and prelim eventing around the US. Maybe we’ll move up, maybe we won’t. I’ve already done the upper level FEI game. Who cares? I go where I want, when I want. I have fun with my friends and family at shows. We BBQ at the trailer, have cocktails and tell stories. We share a common experience revolving around horses and our own competitive nature. Some of us have represented the US, some trained those horses, some trained those riders, some never want to jump more than 0.85 meters.

I want to hang out with you and your group!! I’d love to find this kind of horsey “family”.

[ParadoxFarm]

Am I “good enough” for the equestrian world? I have no idea. The more important question for me is, is the equestrian world good enough for me? Does showing bring me joy? Would I prefer to do another discipline? Do I want to take a break? These answers change all the time, and I’m good with that. I plan to do one “A” show this coming year. I will plan for it and enjoy it, and take it as the a singular event, and that’s it. I know I cannot afford an expensive horse to try to compete with someone else’s resources, but who cares? Not me. The minute it starts to bother me, I’m setting myself up for disappointment. I have my horses at home, and after my last ride, I got off my horse after a schooling session and smiled and said to myself, I love this horse.

[Scribbler]

As far as good enough, there are always a bunch of possibilities.

Can I afford to compete at the level I desire?
Do I have the time to train and show?
Do I ride at the level I desire to compete?
Do I have the energy and desire and courage to ride at this level?
Do I have a horse that can compete at that level?
Do I have a coach to help me sort things out?

Everyone goes through hiccups in these things. Even top riders can get sidelined if their top horse gets injured. Or they get injured.

But there’s no such thing as being “not good enough” globally if the other boxes are checked. It’s not a popularity contest.

[BeeHoney]

@APirateLooksAtForty, I can relate to what you say. What happens in the toxic, monetary means focused h/j environment is that it’s really hard to feel community. Everyone is sandwiched in between being an afterthought to those “above” them and an object of jealousy to those “below” them. It’s very isolating.

I’ve never felt this dynamic, or at least not so intensely, in other equine disciplines. I’m at a point now where I really enjoy equestrian community and friendships that are not so focused on money and spending.

Don’t know who you are IRL, but I hope that your exit from the h/j world segues into some really fun other disciplines.

[RAyers]

I realized I found this family when I went 1/2 way across the country to compete by myself. I figured it was going to be a week of solitude. I was staying in my trailer when I found out one of the ranked international riders was staying in theirs next to me and we ended up chatting away every evening. And then I had people always saying “hi” and we’d grab lunch and hang while we grazed our horses or watched schooling or walked a course.

The concept of a competition suddenly expanded for me. I had made all these friends I never realized over the years just by doing the best I can in the competition arena.

[Warmblood1]

@CanteringCarrot

I was talking with a good friend the other day and I said how many concussions I’ve had. She then asked if I ever noticed any cognitive or other changes after any of them. I said no, but also that I hadn’t paid any mind to it. My last one was in 2017 (not even horse related). Now I wonder!

It did not occur to me that I might have a TBI for the longest time, despite multiple significant concussions, which is crazy to me now in hindsight. It manifest for me as slight memory impairment and a gnarly anxiety disorder with insomnia. I have some mild spatial awareness issues as well… meaning a little difficulty seeing what’s in my lower right area of sight.

I think anyone who has had a significant concussion or multiple concussions (does not have to be total black out to be cause damage) should be evaluated for a traumatic brain injury. I was evaluated by a neuropsychiatrist who did a few hours of verbal and written testing. TBIs can manifest as anxiety disorders, depression, suicidal ideations, attention issues, mood instability, difficulty remembering, amongst many other things. All just an FYI.

[Warmblood1]

I have never asked if I was good enough for the horse world but I frequently ask myself if I’m good enough for the horses.

[Libby2563]

@CanteringCarrot

Too many have lost sight of the horse, IMO. It’s a very selfish hobby or sport, and I say that as someone that participates in it. I have my own lines in the sand, and I focus on those.

Your whole post was very interesting, but can you expand on this at all? I’ve been thinking the same more and more over the past few years, though possibly not for the same reasons. The reasons that bounce around in my head are:

1. Horse welfare. Even setting aside abuse, I wonder if as diagnostics and veterinary medicine advance we will realize it is actually quite detrimental to the horses to be ridden at all, and especially to be jumped, barrel raced, slid to halts, put in upper-level collection, etc. It’s possible that few riding horses don’t have some sort of painful or at least uncomfortable pathology. Is it fair to ask them to cart us around for sport/fun? Not to mention the unnatural environment many horses are kept in so that they’re more available for riding.

2. Environmental impact. I don’t know exactly how it compares to other hobbies in the end, but many aspects of horsekeeping seem to have concerning potential impacts. Creation/maintenance of monocultures for hay and grazing, use of fertilizer and herbicide, erosion and run-off, transport of hay and horses all over the country or world, even just commuting to a barn every day as a boarder (and that commute getting longer and longer with urban sprawl—though maybe some can counterbalance the barn commute with WFH ). I know that’s all small fries in the big picture, but I do wonder about those things and others I haven’t even thought of.

[CanteringCarrot]

Oh, I think all of those same things.

I see it as selfish at times because of the environments we may force them to live in, and the things we make or ask them to do. In addition to that I think we can be guilty of telling ourselves things or misreading what the horse is “saying” and interpreting it as something else in a subconscious effort to justify what we’re asking them to do.

I was just saying to someone the other day that I know too much now. I’m too aware and I overthink. So I’m not sure that a hobby involving animals is for me anymore.

In the pursuit of success we will tell ourselves all sorts of things, especially if we’re a person of very competitive nature. I’ve seen the horse pay the price for this way too many times.

I know that people will say that horses would worse off without people or this hobby. People will also say their horse enjoys and wants to do x, y, and/or z. In some respects neither of those points are “wrong” but we just really need to be careful.

My horse is people oriented, seems interested in what we’re doing, and is in a good mood after doing some work. All that being said, I have to not take advantage of that. I mean, horses are domesticated and basically conditioned to coexist with people, but still, some things just sit wrong with me sometimes. It’s a very delicate balance.

Maybe all of this thought and blabber is the result of my numerous concussions (mentioned in respect to TBI’s upthread). Who knows

[piaffequeen2]

Sounds like you might be burned out. Maybe find a different discipline-may I suggest Polocrosse? Very family oriented-great comradery among players. Very low key. Anyone any level can participate and you don’t need a special polocrosse horse until you get into the really high levels.

[sherian]

perhaps I can make you feel better on the environmental impact front? My pasture is mostly native grasses, I have hedgerows between fields and the riparian zones around the ponds fenced off and “natural” so lots of habitat for all sorts of wildlife, pollinators etc. I compost my manure and spread it to improve soil health and practice good grazing management to prevent soil erosion, don’t use herbicides. A lot of small private horse farms are run similar - not manicured, input heavy ralph lauren adverts, they are essentially following regenerative farming practices as they are common sense.

[kaya842]

@Libby2563

Horse welfare. Even setting aside abuse, I wonder if as diagnostics and veterinary medicine advance we will realize it is actually quite detrimental to the horses to be ridden at all, and especially to be jumped, barrel raced, slid to halts, put in upper-level collection, etc. It’s possible that few riding horses don’t have some sort of painful or at least uncomfortable pathology. Is it fair to ask them to cart us around for sport/fun? Not to mention the unnatural environment many horses are kept in so that they’re more available for riding.

I don’t think you’re wrong here. I do think that if it was no longer socially acceptable to ride horses, there would be a lot less horses. I can’t imagine most of the horse owning population would want to (or in some cases be able to) keep their horses if they aren’t riding (hard to justify that $1-2K monthly board payment with no riding). Barns would close as they don’t make money on boarding but in the ring riding/ training/ coaching. Even if we (society) decided only competitive riding was a no go and recreational is still okay, we would still be looking at a massive disruption. In my mind, a world without riding is a world where horses end up at zoos as exhibits vs a semi “normal” pet (I live in the Midwest so horse ownership is still fairly common). Maybe I’m crazy, but I think we need to be careful to toe the line of bettering our sport and animal husbandry while not losing sight of the fact that horses are livestock and have to “work” for a living in many cases, even if that work is jumping a course or trail riding etc.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

I mean, people have to work for a living, too! But there is a big continuum of work even for humans, from pleasurable to reasonable to abusive. Even as someone who is sympathetic to some animal rights critiques, I’ve never understood the “let all the animals live free and at rest in a big field” ideal. Who is paying for the upkeep of that field for all of those “resting” animals?

On the other hand, I admit that the lifestyle of many high-level show horses with minimal turnout living most of the year in environments where they don’t get to be horses makes me very uncomfortable. (I’m not talking about occasional week-long shows, but horses who are shown, shown, shown on some circuits with relatively few breaks and minimal access to any natural environments because they are too “valuable” to risk.)

@Warmblood1

I have never asked if I was good enough for the horse world but I frequently ask myself if I’m good enough for the horses.

This. I think if you genuinely keep asking yourself this question, versus what other people are thinking, it’s hard to go wrong.

[cristalle]

@Warmblood1

I have never asked if I was good enough for the horse world but I frequently ask myself if I’m good enough for the horses.

This is how I feel as well. As hard as I try to do the best I can for them, I often wonder if it is enough, or if I have failed them in any way.

[Tini_Sea_Soldier1]

This was worded beautifully and it’s spot-on. For those of us that have the blessed opportunity to compete at the top elite facilities in this country, it can be exciting and exhilarating, but you are right… it does feel empty and fleeting when there’s moments of happiness and celebration.
I grew up in a very similar environment to you and the friendships that I made have carried over into my adult years. It hasn’t been the same with the newer barn world that I re-entered in around 2017-2018. Friends seem to come and go as everyone is much more transient.
It used to be about the horses and the challenging questions of the courses, now it seems to be more about prize-hunting and who can out-buy one another. The anything for the win mentality has seemed to shadow the “brilliance of these animals” mindset.
Additionally, the horses have become disposable. I can think of 2-3 people in my network locally that have run their way through 5+ horses in the span of 3 years. Not because they outgrew them, but bc they broke or just couldn’t ride them successfully. It’s a dynamic shift from the years where we worked through problems and rode the horse we had… now it’s an exchange program… swap out leases… send off horses to sale barns and import new ones, etc.
I wish I knew the remedy or the fix, but as the investor type barns keep buying up the winning horses, people keep buying the winner rather than the right mount, shows cater to their investor barns that bring in 30-40 horses, it’s not going to stop.
Personally, I’ve got another 2-3 years in this big circuit h/j world at most. I don’t think I want to move onto another horse after this one and I don’t feel like feasibly it would make sense. I’m happy where I am and seeing that my horse is thriving. When and if that ever changes, then I’ll fondly remember our success, but I won’t miss a lot of today’s horse show experience.