Also would not board there. Nobody rides my horse without permission or knowledge. Yikes!
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In that case, you are free to not board there 
Nobody is forced to board at that barn. Personally, it’s the best barn hands down I have ever boarded or ridden at. I have never felt safer or like my horses were being better cared for. If someone exercises my old man OTHER THAN ME a few times a week, I honestly don’t mind and don’t see why I should.
It’s also not without my knowledge/permission. I know and trust my trainer to use my horse for something if she wants to. Why would I put my horse in the care of someone I don’t trust to, you know, care for him?
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I actually would love this for my young mare! Haha can I move in? For my situation, I would be all over it, getting to ride lots of different horses, and having my young mare get lots of experience. Very cool.
I think for my friend it’s a bit tricky. This is a tiny backyard facility. The folks there do easy trail riding and the horses are more kept as pets to some degree. No one shows, it’s super low key. No program. Just the person who runs it does sort of a “beginner horse experience” type workshop which people pay big money for. Because the region they are in is so unique, all the barns charge about the same price, give or take $100-150 per month. So the big fancy show barns with the indoor/outdoor, wash racks, are really only Slightly more than what my friend pays on board and she’s sort of struggling a bit stomaching the fact that the BO makes most of her living off her gelding, yet she’s paying what most would consider top dollar in the region.
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God I’ve gotten to be such a better rider. Occasionally my trainer gets a horse in and after verifying it’s safe for me to ride, tells me what it needs to work on and then we work on that thing for a few weeks/months–something I’ve already mastered that she knows I can be successful at. I know how to deal with a lot of shit now. I’m also a lot more confident a rider, and I’m a lot more capable than I thought I was.
As for the kiddies riding…hell, I request my other gelding be used in kids’ lessons sometimes if I know I’m gonna be by to ride him after because then when I show up he’s already tacked and warmed up, which saves me the work of going to go find him in the back, clean him, tack up, etc. They even use my saddle.
It’s a pretty specific, unique place. In your circumstance I’d likely be pretty annoyed.
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Yeah so the BO isn’t expected to excercise the horse. My friend doesn’t care if she rides the horse or not. And when my friend wants a tune up, she pays for that training time. The BO does want to keep horse in shape so it’s good to go for her lesson program (which again is to her benefit).
Valid points everywhere, but it sounds to me like this situation doesn’t have a great ending. BO can say no, not giving you a board break or paying for horse’s use - that begins to unravel other things and creates hard feelings. And you never really know if horse isn’t used anyway. Or BO says leave. OR the BO offers some $ for use of horse - that also may unravel the other things, and it still wont be clear how often the horse is being used.
The fact that this precedent has been established makes it very hard to change without just leaving. So if it were me at this point I would ask self - how does the horse seem? Tired sometimes? happy? Sound? good weight? That would help drive my thinking. Knowing my other locations options might drive that also.
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Does your friend not want to keep the horse in shape?
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I have had clients give me their horse to use for no compensation. Usually it is if they want to take the pressure off themselves to keep the horse fit and/or looked after and is usually short term (so I can’t actually take on a new student because I have the horse to use, just that my horse(s) can get a little break). I will offer compensation (or suggest a lease) if I am offered a consistent use, but honestly, some people really see the value in having their horse used in lessons under my watch.
If your friend wants to change their current situation though, they should suggest “If Dobbin is working out for you to use in lessons, would you consider leasing him (number of days a week) for a % reduction in board?”
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It doesn’t sound like the horse needs to be kept “in shape” with the kind of riding the owner does.
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That is a bizarre and unique situation.
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She pays the BO cash to tune up her horse as needed, when she can’t, so there’s that. And friend is out there a few times a week taking her to round pen, etc, they just don’t specifically ride the horse more than 2-3 times a month.
Yeah I mean this is a 20-something year old gelding mainly used for trails and some w/t/c on the flat by my friends kid, but generally retired from previous show/school horse life. The BO has been using horse for pleasure riding for herself and friends, along with using in workshops geared towards beginners/non-horse folks so because this horse has excellent ground manners, he’s an asset to the style of program. My friend pays good money for massage, tune ups as needed, extra feed and supplements (beyond was is offered in the boarding fee), vet care as needed. Not an expense has been spared on this horse.
whoa, the hay prices are the hay prices.
that has nothing to do with any of the rest.
My alarmbells went off at ‘occasionally’
yep, like old people, old horses need to be exercised or they regress. Condition is harder to get on, and faster to lose.
and while turnout does exercise a horse, they move a lot less than we think - or hope - they do.
However.
it is a little difficult to make out if the BO is taking advantage of the HO, or if somebody put a bug in HO’s ear that they should get compensation for the use of the horse.
good for the HO to hang on to the old chap.
but sometimes ‘occasionally’ does not work out well.
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If the question is “How does the HO approach the BO about an issue that has developed…” then perhaps the HO can suggest that both sides meet for a ‘planning session’ as the horse is aging and inevitably will need long term planning to keep it healthy and fit. Then the results of the discussion can be formalized and maybe payment agreed.
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Horses need a job.
If she wants to make it akward, ask for the money but make it small amount.
Or just let it be
I use some of my client horses and they are happy their horses are getting loved on amd used…but if tgere was a price tag on it i wouldnt use them amd they could be standing around stiff when they coupd be actively used for a low wear and tear lesson.
The better question - does the horse like it? Does the horse enjoy it? Does the horse look forward to his kiddos that ride him?
Some of cliemt horses really like the kids they teach and its a reprieve from training.
Id ask that before worring about dollars.
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How do you keep it straight who got worked what day? If I came out to ride and someone had already worked my horse I’d be a little put out.
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Horses do not NEED to be ridden or brushed. Horses do not NEED a job. A barn owner telling you that is a barn owner who is using you.
If the owner is coming out and riding the horse hard and the horse is not fit enough then the trainer can speak to the owner about either leaving their barn or perhaps being used in some sort of a program for which the owner gets a discount.
I find it absolutely appalling at the number of barn owners on this post who think that they have the right to use someone else’s horse for free, with no compensation whatsoever. Or those who would be upset if the owner wanted compensation!
You are making money off putting wear and tear on someone’s horse, you’re not just “doing them a favor.” They’re doing you a favor because you couldn’t run your program without the free use of someone else’s horse.
The very least you could do is cut them a break in board.
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So, to me, this sounds like a win-win situation and I don’t understand what the problem is.
If your friend, who is presumably a functional adult, feels taken advantage of, that is her deal to explore and resolve. No one is “owed” anything except what is stated in the contract and basic good manners and educated decision-making, including good communication. An adult conversation between two ostensibly reasonable people does not equal “confrontation.”
I am more likely to cringe over an older horse whose only exercise outside of turnout might be working in a round pen a couple times a week. To me, drilling in circles is not great for mind or body (JMO).
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I’ll argue that, while I agree grooming is not needed, it sure helps catch problems (scratches, skin crud, ticks 
) before they get started.
And a “job” can point out incipient soundness issues, i.e. lameness, airway problems, etc.
The more I read as OP adds info, it sounds like BO isn’t abusing use of the horse.
The occasional visit by owner is only helped by BO’s rides & use on the ground.
@miminorthwest If your friend thinks she’s owed money, she needs to approach BO & start a discussion.
But honestly, the pattern is set & asking for more now is unlikely to get her what she thinks she’s owed.
Maybe move horse to a pasture board or self-care situation if $$ is her main concern.
May I suppose the money problem has popped up since - as you said - kid does Hunters & money is going toward putting kid on a different horse?
If so, no sympathy from me.
Old horse gave kid his best & deserves to retire with decent care.
Since HO & kid are pretty much done with this horse, maybe consider selling to the BO for a lowball price.
She gets to stop paying board, kid can still take the occasional lesson.
BO gets a horse she already knows fits her program & who she already makes use of for herself & friends.
Win/Win?
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I wouldn’t really call it bizarre. I really like it there. I’ve learned a lot. I’d probably think so if I hadn’t been at this barn but another boarding rule is that your horse has to have gone through the training program. This means that everyone is on the same page in regards to how horses are handled, how we work with them, and what is and isn’t allowed with the animals. There is practically no drama because everyone is on the same page in regards to what is and isn’t provided: if your horse has a medical need they will come in for feeding or to get a sheet or blanket put on, otherwise they live out. I’ve actually come to the barn in deep winter and found my horse dressed in one of the MANY blankets that are owned by the barn because ‘well he looked a little cold so we threw a blanket on him’. That would NEVER happen at a traditional boarding facility and I know for a fact my horse will always have what he needs whether I can be there that day or not.
It also means it’s not really an open boarding facility. The small number of actual boarders that exist there vs people who bought a horse and decided to keep it at that barn are all former training clients, or former lesson students who got a horse and brought it so it could go through training and decided it would just live there after.
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