Being okay with “just” riding

[ColoradoCopper]

Hoping I’m not the only one feeling this way from time to time but looking for ways I can come to terms with it. I grew up in a high-pressure, militant training program where any moment you’re on your horse, you’re training him (while I agree this is a true statement, I mean it in a way that just walking your horse down a trail on the buckle enjoying the day wasn’t really a thing for us). We were drilled. Hard. I did not get to show a ton, but I rode lots of babies and things off the track so no matter what, every ride was a work in progress and if you weren’t making continuous progress, you’d get chewed out.

I currently own a lovely OTTB mare that is sweet as can be. Aside from occasional minor spooky moments, she’s a super safe ride. I have no reason to think she’s going to buck me off or be rank in any way, basically ever.

I’m running into this internal battle of 1) getting over the fact I’m not as brave as I used to be. I schooled horses through 4’6” in my high school days and I’d climb up on anything available. Now, I have even have issues cantering my sweet mare over a ground pole some days for fear of missing a distance and getting launched. She’s never offered but some tough horses and a couple big accidents in the past just won’t leave me even though it’s been 10 years. So working through that… any advice would be helpful here…

#2) is that I’m having such a hard time not beating myself up every time I ride that maybe I didn’t truly accomplish anything today. Sure, my horse hacked nicely and we trotted or cantered around for 15-20 minutes but did I actually make things better? No, and I know I didn’t really try to; we just maybe floated along together on a looped rein. I’m having such a hard time just ENJOYING the ride without the end-goal or accomplishment in sight - maybe not so much right in the moment, but after when I go home and think to myself, wow, I really need to drill into my lead changes and have a more balanced canter or I should be jumping right now and I’m just trotting poles on the ground. Then starts the guilt train that maybe my horse isn’t as fit as she should be or that I’m not doing no-stirrup November and oh my, what has become of me to not do such things!

Does anyone else ever feel this way? What are things you may put into perspective where you just ride with no goals in sight? How do I make myself not feel like a terrible person because my mare is in her teens and has an iffy lead change at best and that’s all she may ever have ??

Any advice would be so appreciated!

[frugalannie]

I’ve never been in a riding program such as you describe, but I am by nature someone who must have a goal for each ride. Said goal is always subject to modification depending where the horse is and what its needs are on the day.

But a goal that’s difficult for me is to just enjoy the horse and the day. Perhaps setting that as your goal will help? Even if it’s just a day or two a week (got to build those live in the moment muscles up slowly). Then there’s always the fun of a little leg yielding on the trail, smooth transitions and OOPS! Gotta go back to that difficult goal of enjoying the simple pleasure of riding.

It really does take practice, but it’s a perfectly valid way to ride.

[lenapesadie]

@ColoradoCopper

Sure, my horse hacked nicely and we trotted or cantered around for 15-20 minutes but did I actually make things better?

Yes. You trained your horse that not every ride is going to be demanding. An excellent training tactic to avoid “sour” behavior. You trained your horse to be calm and pleasant.

Low impact rides are a necessary part of training imo.

[Paint_Party]

I appreciate this topic.

When I bought my young mare I knew she was a bit on the hotsy totsy side for a Paint. She even looks like a small, spotted Thoroughbred. After almost 10 months of riding she is really broke and schooled, but there just isn’t a job in the western performance world where she’s going to fit. And that frustrates me because I also like to have some kind of goal when riding or training a horse.

I spent decades riding greenies, starting them over fences and showing hunters and equitation. So long hours in the saddle and working hard toward a positive end result are in my genes. But with this mare I’m learning to accept that she may just be a dependable, sound, honest ranch horse/trail horse. I’m coming to terms with that and there’s an inner peace of acceptance. It takes away the stress and pressure of achieving a performance goal. So I am “just riding” her, and finding new, interesting things to do with her like moving cattle and taking her horse camping.

Maybe you can explore other things to do with your horse, too. It doesn’t have to be
a defined sport or discipline, per se. Just something new to both of you.

[trubandloki]

There is no “just” in a good riding day.

If you and your horse enjoyed your time together, no matter what you did, there is no just, it is a success.

[aregard]

I got a riding app for my phone, and that helped me turn my goal from “something useful!!!” to calories burned. That’s all I check for now, and I feel great about it.

I’m considerably older than many other posters, tho, and have few ambitions anymore. But I think it was the year of rehab with my big horse that helped turn my perspective. That year was walking only for the first 8 months or so, and each minute measured, and the point was the health and progress of ligament fiber realignment, not any ‘education’ for the horse or me.

Maybe if you think of your mounted time as progress in relaxation for you and/or the horse, you can enjoy it more?

[moonlitoaksranch]

Do you think you could relax more if you rode with a friend? Maybe a local trail riding group? If it turns into more of a social thing, maybe it would be easier to take your mind out of accomplishment mode.

[Jackie_Cochran]

The lost art of Hacking Out.

In the age of the dinosaurs Hacking Out was considered an extremely important skill for any horse, going to different places, seeing different scenes, and then getting to come home and getting fed! Horses usually loved it, nothing better possible for many of them.

Of course the horses’ riders also had to get into the groove. Too many ambitious riders are strongly focused on the next step, but the horses are NOT focused on that. The horse does not care if its stride is not 100% perfect, in fact the horses do not care if they are not “perfect”, only the rider does.

If you feel like you MUST accomplish something hacking out it is really easy if your trails include hills of any size and steepness. Going up and down hill at a walk is excellent for freeing up a horse’s movement. Without rider interference the horse teaches himself how to bring his hind legs forward under the weight of the rider, without lots of rider interference the horse relaxes and gets into the groove, the varied sights are a cure for boredom (even if you end up riding the same trail every day), and if your horse is NQR I have often found that they can find a plant, shrub, and tree leaves that they eat with great gusto because it can make them feel better. Saved me a lot of vet bills when I was totally horse poor.

You have riding goals. Well your horse’s goals are getting fed at the right time and a comfortable place to sleep. Your horse does not give a d*mn if you “accomplish” anything on your rides, he just does not want to be bored to death OR tortured with badly fitting tack and bad riding.

[Sdel]

Could it just be a simple need of reframing the easy rides as a “goal” for relaxation in the rider rather than for the horse? The training scale doesn’t just apply to the horse.

[pony_baloney]

Did you enjoy your time spent with your horse?
Did your horse enjoy the time spent with you?
Mission accomplished.

[hoopoe]

as a bird watcher I found that quietly moving in the environment on my horse yielded more sightings than when on foot. This was in a state park that originated as an equestrian venue

Physical conditioning does not have to be round and round in the arena. I suspect many show horses would have a better life if their work included two days in natural landscape

[EVneo]

Albeit, I do still compete so I do have tangible goals. But as a busy working amateur, my overall “goal” is to leave the barn feeling better than I did entering it. Whether I find a moment of gratitude seeing a beautiful sunset through fuzzy pony ears, or with a big muzzle smooch, or hearing my horse snort after I myself take a big breath, that to me is mission accomplished. Bottom line, this is a hobby for me, my goal at the barn is to enjoy it and have a happy horse. Also, if you’re getting social media envy, delete instagram. One of the best things I did; it was a joy sucker for me.

[ColoradoCopper]

I really appreciate everyone’s thoughtful replies! What I should have mentioned is that I currently keep my horse at a barn with very limited riding space: a small ring and a short walk down the driveway. I think I get in the ring and my brain says, “work!”. I hadn’t had quite this type of “accomplishment anxiety” on trails.

It’s not ideal but that’s my situation today and the care is excellent. I didn’t really feel this way when I had miles of trails — and I hadn’t thought about that really but maybe that’s my answer within itself.

[Scribbler]

Ha. I started a long post and then saw your last reply. I’d lose my mind in a barn with no trail access too. You either need to move or get a truck and trailer and get out every weekend!

[tabula_rashah]

Ride out with friends, go explore new places, do a paper chase, etc
Due to issues with 2 of my horses, I pretty much took this year off from any goals. It’s actually been quite nice.

[JFF]

This sounded a lot like me for years. I am a very goal-oriented person. A while back I had a bad, high speed fall while jumping that resulted in multiple broken bones. Not long after I recovered, I crashed again and broke more.

After that, my trainer and I decided that I would not set any more goals for a while. She asked me when was a time that I felt like riding was the most fun. Picture a perfect day of being around horses. No surprise when my perfect day wasn’t a day I drilled my horse and they performed great. It was a sunny day hanging with friends while we rode our nice, sweet horses in a wide open field. Your horse has no ambitions beyond eating and hanging with buddies.

I needed to get back to riding when it was the most fun for me. So I would just ride for the sake of riding. I still lesson each week and we still work on things. But the nature of my approach changed. I have no ambitions to show in the foreseeable future so we work to build knowledge and skill. It was deeply uncomfortable for me for a few months to get used to the idea that when I went into the arena, I could go or not. I could work on collection and leg yield, or just hang in the center and chat for a minute with some of the other ladies. But now I have the freedom to decide what I will do that day, without feel pressured to live up to an artificial standard I have created for myself.

[candyappy]

@ColoradoCopper

I’m having such a hard time just ENJOYING the ride without the end-goal or accomplishment in sight -

@ColoradoCopper

Does anyone else ever feel this way? What are things you may put into perspective where you just ride with no goals in sight?

For many of us just riding and coming back in 1 piece is an accomplishment. I used to compete when I was younger and I just got so tired of every ride needing to be a drilling session on improving something.

There are plenty of things you can do to accomplish something small and still enjoy a pleasant ride outside the arena or on the trail.

I just ride for pleasure ( trail/ pastures/ big fields) but I still expect my horses to respond to my aids, be supple and relaxed and do what I ask. We both enjoy being out and they seem eager to be ridden so in my mind that is a goal worth reaching.

Having a horse you enjoy riding is the ultimate goal.

[Bebe_Falcon1]

@ColoradoCopper

What I should have mentioned is that I currently keep my horse at a barn with very limited riding space: a small ring and a short walk down the driveway.

We don’t board at the same facility, do we?!

Honestly, I think the world opens up once you have transportation off-site and can make use of public trails. As someone who owned a horse for 14 years before being able to justify buying a trailer, I realize it’s not a reality for everyone. But we just discovered a beautiful trail system on conservation land a 1/2 hr away that - surprise! - caters to riders as well as hikers and cyclists, with things like on-site corrals, horse trailer parking, automatic waterers, and mounting blocks.

I can’t tell you HOW excited I am to eventually take my mare there next year. It’s something to work towards that won’t require drills, so the journey - training for these off-site trips (um, cyclists) - as well as the destination will be a lot of fun.

Is something like that at all a possibility for you?

[StormyDay]

Going over the basics is never wasted time. Even just having a nice trot is both training that horse to have that nice trot and is working muscles.

Not every day needs to be filled with accomplishments.

I also am a person who is really goal oriented. I could never hop on a horse with no plan on what I’m doing that day. Slow trail rides make me want to scream. But some days, I get on and my ‘goal’ is to canter both ways one time.

[J-Lu]

I have always been progress oriented in terms of riding and training horses. Not that long ago, I had a job with a start-up that sucked my time and life-blood from me. I could only ride my hot horse on weekends, who was OK with the schedule for some reason. I only wanted a pleasant ride and he gave me that (I didn’t ask much). I was so appreciative -the experience was kind of therapeutic for me.

I’ve since changed jobs and sort of have my life back and can ask more from my horse and his training. But I’m really appreciative of every ride and remember how enjoyable riding was/my horse was when I was working all the time. I try to incorporate that joy into all of my rides now. Plus, my horse’s run-in buddy had an injury which makes him only available for light riding and I’m thankful that my horse’s careful training and not “push” schedule has kept him sound for 12 years of life in work.