Being okay with “just” riding

[Vyce]

Do you have any horsey friends you can trail ride with? Riding with others can help you relax and not focus or feel guilty and enjoy the ride and keep at bay the “I gotta work on XYZ” thoughts and feelings.

Or maybe try something new with your horse just for fun? The goal could be just new things, shake up the routine a bit. Equitation? Obstacles? Trick training? Some dressage? Or try barrels? Some reining maneuvers?

Horses are my escape/ destress time (and I don’t own yet. I’m looking at my second lease). So my only goals are juat getting horsey time and getting out on the trail. I do some catch riding on greenbeans and those are just rides to get horse some experience and miles on hooves. Goals are generally “Dobbin don’t be a ding dong” or “Lots of creek crossings and mud to get used to it”.

Your mare sounds lovely OP, so I hope you find a way to just enjoy her.

[RJC]

Timely post. I’m working towards some overall goals to prepare for show season next year, but the Fall move from outdoor arena (shallow footing, lots of engaging sights and sounds) to indoor arena (deep footing, horse gets bored and spooky) makes us backslide a little.

I’ve had issues setting goals for rides and then becoming overly frustrated when my goal turns out to be too ambitious. Within the ride, I become too intense and frustrated, but then immediately after my ride, I realize all the times my horse listened to small, light aids, how hard he tried, the things we DID improve on…When I set very reasonable goals, I have to keep on top of myself and not get sidetracked on myriad other picky things.

My goal for my next ride is to take longer breaks during my ride to reflect and appreciate what is going well, and make a reasonable plan to improve anything that isn’t going the way I want it to. My horse also loves work over poles so I’ll try to put a few down each day to add interest.

I agree with what others said- that having a nice ride on your nice mare is an accomplishment and good for both of you. I just also don’t know how to make that leap in my brain

[Kyrabee]

As far as I am concerned, there is no issue with “just riding”. I pretty much had to give up any serious riding/lessons and showing about 8 years ago when I fell apart. Lovely cooperative horse that I probably should have sold but I didn’t. I became happy to do whatever I could do.
A tailbone issue and surgery surgery for removal of said tailbone had me off of her for the better part of 3 years. A friend rode her a little bit and otherwise I did “fun stuff”. Lunging, liberty work and hand walks. My friend rode her again a couple years later when I had foot surgery and she noticed a big improvement in her carriage. Just putzing around with the ground work still improved her.

I finally got back to riding, such as it is last year. I am just not driven to ride hard anymore. I don’t even push the envelope any more…I have nothing to prove. Like, we met a flock of turkeys. They were behind a brush pile. I could see their heads sticking up and she she could not see the but had stopped and was quietly snorting. I could have pushed her by and had some fun on my hands but I just turned her and went the other way. Not today. I am 66 and really don’t want to hit the ground. I have been working around a back issue all year and a lot of this year, we just did walk work. It doesn’t mean she didn’t have to work. I have spent a lot of time on lateral work and transitions. Yes, just basics but I don’t think that time is ever wasted. Yes, many of my rides are only 15-20 minutes. Often, that is all the time I have with elder care responsibilities but it sure does a lot positively for my mind (and body).

There are is no one size fits all. I have had several different stages in my riding life. I am enjoying what I can do. No one to satisfy but me.
Susan

[cabz]

I am in southern Ontario GTAish. I think you are also in Ontario. Would you mind sharing either here or PM this conservation that you found? We are always looking for new places to ride. Thank you.

[pony_grandma]

I just don’t understand that someone needs to drill ride their horse on a daily basis. What joy is there in your relationship?

I took a rogue horse for his retirement and he was a sheer pleasure to trail ride bareback with a halter and a lead rope thru the wooded hills and ravines here. He would stop and stand and look and look. I would sit and wait. It’s almost like he sighed, finally someone gets me. He’d run and want to buck, when saddled. I’d stand in the stirrups and keep my leg on him keeping him moving forward and let him play. We had the BEST partnership. He packed my kids around for their first rides. He’d jump out of the paddock and field and passage around the yard just to show off. I allowed him his character and he rewarded us with his spirit. I had such a connection with him. he passed away here a happy soul at 32 yrs of age. Still spirited.

[eightpondfarm]

i’ve ‘just ridden’ for 60 years. Decided about two years ago it might be nice to take dressage lessons. i’m def not competitive. I don’t even have goals. I just want to have a relationship with my horses and improve my ability to have a conversation with them. And now that i have become a convert, i hope to show them how to use their bodies better, to be more flexible and ambidextrous within themselves. I love horses, always have. To me, nirvana is having a mount who is my lower half…but with a mind.

[Bebe_Falcon1]

@eightpondfarm

I just want to have a relationship with my horses and improve my ability to have a conversation with them.

I love this quote so much! Have a conversation with your horse. Yesss!

[Bebe_Falcon1]

PMed you.

[cabz]

Thank you. Got it. Yes, have ridden there a few years ago, but will keep it in mind.

[Willesdon]

Foxhunting. Very sociable, always interesting, any reasonably schooled horse will be OK, huge fun, comparatively low cost.

[outerbanks77]

OP, it sounds like you’ve lived more in the jumper world, and “doing something” tends to be about going higher or faster. I wonder if you might enjoy studying classical dressage or something like that where it is more “detail work” with lots that can be done in hand or at the walk? That might satisfy your inner need for accomplishment while working within some of the constraints that you have. Plus, you can do small bits interspersed with just an easy pleasure ride, no big setup needed.

My young horse especially is making me be OK with putting goals on the backburner. She will not be pushed on anyone else’s timeline even though she is quite talented. It’s a process of learning mindfulness and being in the moment trying to figure out what she needs that day.

[Rackonteur]

@eightpondfarm

I love horses, always have. To me, nirvana is having a mount who is my lower half…but with a mind.

This is so beautiful.

[Renn_aissance]

@ColoradoCopper

What I should have mentioned is that I currently keep my horse at a barn with very limited riding space: a small ring and a short walk down the driveway. I think I get in the ring and my brain says, “work!”. I hadn’t had quite this type of “accomplishment anxiety” on trails.

If this is safe in your area, one “goal” might be getting your horse road broke so you can hack calmly on the shoulder or the side of the road. This will allow you more places to go and also give your horse a useful life skill.

Obviously please don’t ride down the side of the highway, but we often forget that the driveway goes out as well as in when we are in the habit of thinking of our riding areas as “the barn,” so I wanted to throw out this option. My horse is highly motivated by visiting the neighbor’s mini donkeys across the street, and to get back home, he has to climb a big hill.

[xeroxchick]

I’m from the opposite background, as a kid I was lucky to even have a horse and told so. When I wanted riding lessons, or any lessons like ballet, my parents thought that was spoiling kids (1960s and 70s) so I read all the horse books, dreamed of being in Pony Club, and rode my horse over hill and dale, exploring the woods and fields. When I got out of college I got an affordable horse, took lessons and evented a little. The thing is, I’m not competitive. I discovered fox hunting through an instructor and have loved it ever since.
I was thinking the other day that it seems like most horse activities involve competition. To feel legitimate there are pressures to train and compete, then when you get good at a level, train and compete to keep moving up. I just want to enjoy my horse! Mainly by that connection to nature. I think if you could find some friends to hack out with as a regular group you might really enjoy that. The camararderie and relaxation can be so enriching.

[Janet]

@ColoradoCopper

1. getting over the fact I’m not as brave as I used to be.,some tough horses and a couple big accidents in the past just won’t leave me even though it’s been 10 years. So working through that… any advice would be helpful here…

I would suggest the you work with a sports therapist, a psychologist, or a hypnotherapist. From a “brain” perspective, getting rid of “big accidents in the past just won’t leave me” is very similar to overcoming PTSD, which is much better understood now than in the past.

#2) is that I’m having such a hard time not beating myself up every time I ride that maybe I didn’t truly accomplish anything today.

What helped me get over this was rehab rides, both rehabbing horses and rehabbing myself (broken wrist, cracked ribs, brain surgery). When you are rehabbing, the goal is just a limited amount of activity, according to what is right for the horse or rider. The GOAL is just getting back to a full range of activities, according to the current limitations. That helps me even when I am NOT rehabbing. Sometimes the GOAL is just to get out there and ride. (I will admit that having trails to ride on helps with this, but it is not necessary.) If I find I need a goal, I work on something simple, like making transitions without my hands, or keeping my posture straight and balanced at sitting trot, or keeping the horse straight.

Until this year, I had not competed for over 3 years. I started competing again this year (at a much lower level) because I wanted to get out and “do” the competition courses/test, but my only “goal” is to ride better.

[cutter99]

Can you set a bunch of simple goals such as the following?

1. For me, as the rider, to come back safely from a ride.

2. For my horse to come back safely from a ride.

3. To actually ride my horse- to not be a passenger, but to be an active rider that is positively prepared for anything that might occur during the ride, and be able to take corrective action when needed.

4. For both me and my horse to return from a ride more relaxed and happier than when we left.

[Rackonteur]

Most of my friends who still ride ride for pleasure nowadays. They go out on long trail rides with friends, sometimes hauling away from home to get to the trailheads.
Of course, different people find different kinds of riding pleasurable. I have always loved taking lessons and working on things, not to compete but to just enjoy learning and trying.
Nowadays I just want to be able to get up on the horse, ride gently for a little while, and be able to get down again!

[sophie]

@eightpondfarm

I just want to have a relationship with my horses and improve my ability to have a conversation with them. And now that i have become a convert, i hope to show them how to use their bodies better, to be more flexible and ambidextrous within themselves. I love horses, always have. To me, nirvana is having a mount who is my lower half…but with a mind.

THIS.

I used to compete, but at some point, life etc. got in the way and I’ve been “just riding” for a few decades. I really enjoyed the “no pressure” feeling that came with that. No need to train for a show / event etc. and no big expenses either. I loved taking each riding day as they came. Creaky me / creaky horse = a nice long hack on a loose rein. Fresh horse = lots of bending and lateral work to get her attention.

I do enjoy a responsive, supple horse. As my horse and I aged, it became very important to work on our suppleness and balance. I did take a few dressage lessons to confirm / enhance things. Since we both enjoyed jumping, we still did that on days we felt like it, mostly on our barn’s xc course or during Hunter Paces.

I think it really depends on the rider’s attitude towards riding. Some need to have daily goals, or they get bored. That never was my issue. Just getting on and walking around the property on a nice day was bliss!

[FjordBCRF]

You articulated my exact feelings which I am terrible at articulating.

I started riding at about 7 and never stopped. Started showing locally in 4-H and local stock horse circuit shows a few years after and by the time I was done with high school, I was burnt out from it. I went to a college with an equestrian program and started my freshman as a double major (the second being equine studies), and quickly dropped it. I saw that many of those in the program either had it or didn’t, and the degree really wasn’t going to change that. So I dropped that major and just continued to take a couple college level riding lesson courses each semester which was wonderful. I showed jumpers once while I was there and was on the drill team, but that was it.

Through my riding in college, I ended up getting connected with a now very good friend, that was looking for help exercising her horses at her home farm. I rode with her for 16 years until I got Charlie and it was all pretty laid back which was so wonderful. It was my relax time.

Since I have gotten Charlie, my main goal for him as a 3 year old was to be a good citizen and learn his basics on the ground and under saddle. Other than that, we pretty much just have fun and “just” ride! We have miles of trails which we spend a lot of time on riding and ground driving. I take occasional dressage lessons, mainly when we accomplish something and need to figure out what’s next…but will no real timeframes or pressure.

Otherwise, he is just my buddy. He is turning into a pretty nice jack of all trades which is awesome in my mind. I am always happy to go to the barn, a lot of times I may not be motivated to ride while I am at home but when I get to the barn, I do it happily. It all helps to keep my head clear and lets me disconnect from from work and the crazy covid world we are still living in. Its also been great socially too, I have made some amazing friends since I have gotten back into horse ownership.

[sorrelfilly721]

I too have this issue. Even my trail rides have to have a “purpose”. Conditioning, etc. It wears me out! What I have started doing is asking myself “what is the consequence if I don’t train/condition”? Will the world end? Will I never be able to compete again? No. Then I remind myself that maybe my horse would like a day “off”. A day just to enjoy each other’s company. I’m very competitive, so it’s difficult for me to “just ride”. As I get older though, I try to remember that I got into this sport because I love horses and I love to ride. Even if I could never compete, I would still want to ride. That helps a little.