Between a rock and a hard place

[DawgLady]

Over the past year, the demands of work and family have ramped up…and I don’t see them decreasing for the foreseeable future. I’m riding on average only twice a week at this point. Other days, I’m paying the trainer to ride my horse or begging a barn mate.

If I didn’t own a horse I love, I would give up riding right now. Riding is stressing me out. But every time I go out, I’m reminded how much I love my special little horse. He’s come so far and he’s so much fun.

You’re probably thinking: “Why not lease/half lease him out?” Well, because he’s five and green.

I’m just not sure what to do. I don’t want to sell him, I don’t want to lease him, and I don’t really want to ride right now. UGH! What to do? Ideas??

[Buddy0227]

DawgLady, I am in the same boat except for the fact that my horse is part leased. The lease person comes out once a week and I supervise her ride.
I just have no desire to ride and often feel that I should sell.
I don’t want to make any decisions that I might regret so have pretty much decided to keep him through Spring and reevaluate then.

[DawgLady]

Hugs to you @Buddy0227. It’s a terrible quandary. We both know how hard it is to replace a beloved horse if we change our minds down the road.

[Foxglove]

If you can afford it, board your lovely horse and don’t ride him. It’s ok. Horses appreciate good care as much as they appreciate good riding. Take a year off --then decide. Your horse is young. He will mature and still be the wonderful horse you love.

FYI I have a couple of horse acquaintances who have perfectly healthy horses and don’t ride them. They care well for them, but riding is ALWAYS something each will do “some day,” when (pick your excuse: the weather is warmer/cooler; the new saddle comes [some how, it never does, or if it does, it doesn’t fit], the brakes on the trailer are fixed, there is time to haul to the horse park, etc etc.)

I am sure all love their horses as much as I love mine, but riding just isn’t something they love as much as just hanging out with their horses. All good.

After a year, reevaluate --but allow yourself that year.

[Obsidian_Fire]

He’s 5 and green and you already pay a trainer for rides… why not just let the trainer do the riding, and you come out once a week and check up on things? Even if only 3 days a week training rides, at least it keeps him “going” no matter what you ultimately decide.

[NancyM]

Turn him out for winter- everyone gets a break.

[2DogsFarm]

@DawgLady What are your goals for this horse?
If you want to show (in whatever discipline) can you afford to let the training rides continue?
IMHO, unless you are aiming for top-level shows, once or twice a week s/b plenty of training for this horse <unless he is exceptionally difficult.
Otherwise I’m in @Foxglove 's camp*.
A year off is not going to have him “unlearn” so much that he can’t be your fun ride when you find the time.

*I am also one of the friends she refers to.
I drive my mini roughly once a month & that is going to taper off once cold weather sets in. No sleighing for me!
I also have a lovely TWH who I was riding 2X monthly with a Dressage trainer… until finances put the kibosh on the lessons.
I rode him on an outing with my Driving club in May. Hopped on bareback in my indoor once since then.
He is a great horse, but I am Old & though I miss my lessons & riding him in general, the Effort is too much. I have another (decorative) pony + the mini, chickens & cats that use up what energy I have caring for them & my 5ac farmette.

[DawgLady]

@2DogsFarm, I do have show goals for this horse, but not like Devon or WEF. I’m thinking someday it’ll be fun to tool around at C shows or smaller A shows.

He’s not a difficult horse anymore, despite being young and green. This year, he just sort of…got it. Now he’s what I call a volunteer :). He’s also very quiet, so he doesn’t need ridden just to stay sane. Plus he gets at least 16 hours of turnout a day.

[2DogsFarm]

Well then, I think @Foxglove has your answer.
Let him be a horse for a while.
Until you have the time to (literally) take up the reins again.
1 Training ride a week s/b all he needs, if that.

[Night_Flight]

Another option is to find an experienced amateur who is currently horseless who could come out to ride a couple of times per week.

I do this; I’m saving up for a house so ever since having to put my mare down last year, I’ve just been riding a green TB who was for sale by a local barn owner, and then once he sold the new owner asked me to keep riding him.

It benefits the horse owner to have a more experienced rider get on a few days a week who is familiar with green horses, and it benefits me in that I get to keep riding without paying the associated costs.

Of course, you would still be stuck with all of your horse’s bills, but if you aren’t wanting to sell anyway, then it’s one way to potentially keep him in work without having to pay for as many trainer rides, and you can probably find a rider who might be more capable than some of the riders you might have to shift through if you were to offer him for a paid lease. Is it possible that your trainer might know of someone decent looking for saddle time?

[TheJenners]

This time of year I have the same refrain in my brain. It’s wet, it’s dark early, I work FT, I have regular farm chores and useless non-riding equines that also require care… But summer comes and it’s great again. I am exploring hauling to an indoor as well. But yeah, each year I’m just like “why…?”

@NancyM

Turn him out for winter- everyone gets a break.

[luvmyhackney]

I feel like I wrote this post.
I have two of the most darling horses that I have been riding occasionally and totally getting stressed at the thought of riding them. So many things on my plate for the next quarter.

They will be fine hanging out for the next month while I focus on some groundwork with each of them and take a breather. Between work, kids, going back to college, farm chores…. I’m a cooked goose at the end of the day.

If you can afford to have the trainer ride, just keep him in training and them give horse the winter off.

[Bebe_Falcon1]

@TheJenners

But yeah, each year I’m just like “why…?”

I went through this same thing in 2016, with young kids at home and lots of demands on my time. “Why…?” was a commonly-asked question that year!

In the end, I did send my gelding off to a wonderful new home but it broke my heart. It was the right decision at the time but gosh, it was so hard. For five years I couldn’t speak or think about him without sobbing!

I did later get back into horse ownership a couple of years later but on a much smaller scale - literally. Now I have a mini mare and we’re learning how to carriage drive! The fact that I CAN’T physically ride her combined with the lesser cost to board her means there’s less pressure to get out to the barn as often as I did with my “big” horse.

If you’re not sure what to do yet, then do nothing Sometimes you need to let things settle into place a little more before you can really make a proper decision.

[Bogie]

Can you find a place where he could just be turned out for a year while your life settles? If he’s 5 and has already been started, it wouldn’t do him any harm to let him sit.

There’s also the idea of having a good amateur come and ride. When I was in my 20s I had a gig like that – the owner didn’t want to ride the horse and so I rode him for two years. It was a win-win. He started eventing and I had a nice horse to ride.

[EventingMaff]

This has felt like me for the last 2 months…which is ironic because earlier this summer I was replying to a post about maintaining riding while working full time / having kids and I was all bravado of “you make it work”, and now I’m not. Work picked up for both SO and I, days have gotten shorter, and kiddo gets an hour less of daytime care then he previously was and it all adds up to my only seeing poor pony like 1-2x a week for a ride.

I went the adult amateur route. I found a 20-something who had to retire her mare so doesn’t have funds to buy but wants something fun to ride. My horse is young and green but safe and fun and game to do a little whatever. She officially rides 2x a week but often I’ll text to say I’m gone for a weekend or have a heavy week and she’ll pick up extra days where she can.

I’m not making any decisions for at least a year because we can afford to go on at this point (though it’s RIDICULOUS what I pay per ride if I calculate it out) and she’s a fantastic little mare. But I only see life getting more hectic (as we try to add another child to the mix)…so selling her isn’t off the table completely. It would be heartbreaking but I also remind myself that she’s a luxury item and my (human) family has to come first.

[candyappy]

You can just give him some time off.

You can let the trainer ride him a couple times a week.

It won’t hurt him at all and If money to board isn’t as issue just let things slow down for a while. Your schedule and preference may change and he will be there waiting.

[Libby2563]

@Bebe_Falcon1

If you’re not sure what to do yet, then do nothing Sometimes you need to let things settle into place a little more before you can really make a proper decision.

This! Just by posting here and reading the replies and doing all the thinking/agonizing I’m sure you’ve been doing already, you’re working your way towards a decision. You’ll know when you get there.

In the meantime, I agree that some downtime won’t do any harm to a pleasant 5-year-old with a good start on him. I’d be slightly hesitant to do once-a-week pro rides as his only exercise unless I was sure the pro wouldn’t push him more than his fitness allows.

[DawgLady]

@Libby2563 if the pro rides 2x/week, and I hack him once on the weekends, would you think that’d keep him moderately fit?

[TheJenners]

Definitely

[luvmyhackney]

That would be a great schedule for your horse.