Some owners would fine you using scissors on their horse’s mane and tail to also be appalling. Just keep that in mind.
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My trainer (who is 20 years younger than I am) once shortened my horse’s mane when she came over to ride him while I was out of town. I flipped out, told her she might be my trainer, but it was not her place to alter my horse’s mane without permission especially when the horse was not in her barn, and if she did it again, she wouldn’t be my trainer anymore. That was several years ago, and now she asks permission before she pulls the mane of a horse I have in training at her barn!
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It was like, 1/4” on a horse that is in my full time care. Not to mention it did not hurt her. But as I said, I would ask about most anything else regarding care or change of appearance.
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I would be livid if that happened. My daughter cut my ponies forelock and I almost strangled her.
With that said I do keep my free lease horses tail banged, but he came that way. I’m just maintaining, I would never ever cut his shoulder length thick mane. That stays the way he was when I received him off the trailer.
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I had to ban two teenagers from touching scissors. They both were leasing horses and had watched my DIL barely bank her mare’s tail before a show, just a couple of longer strands. The next week they cut six inches off of both of the horses they were leasing.
Thankfully they got the message and never did anything like that again.
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I would be livid. I do hope you have strong words with this individual.
I’m one of those that has always seen the do not touch other people’s horses in boarding contracts. 
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Ugh…I had let my trainer’s daughter (who was also a trainer) and her student use my semi-retired horse for an important show season when her horse went lame. I explicitly told them they were not to cut/trim my horse’s forelock under any circumstances. It was very long and bushy…but was very easy to braid it up nicely. I even told them I would braid it up if they had trouble (since we were headed to the same shows). They arrived with him at the show and it was chopped straight across. I should have pulled him then and there…it was a sign they didn’t respect my instructions. I pulled him from their care later when they caused a near tear in his check ligament and left poultice on his legs for 48 hours, scalding him (he had no hair on his legs and crusties for a few weeks).
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These stories are awful. Who ARE these people? I had a friend who had a Welsh cob brought to him for starting and of course the first thing he did was clip the fetlocks but the horse was in his full care. The owner was surprised (it is a breed standard) but understanding, and knew that they would grow back long before she started showing.
And OP I want to see those braids made with 2" of mane. My hands hurt just thinking about it.
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There were words! The boarder apologized thusly: “I am sorry that you didn’t like that I tried to do something nice for you.”
EGADS!! My jaw dropped!
Braiding was a fiasco. Took me an hour when nice cobra dutch plaits take me twenty minutes from start to finish. And they look GOOD. Not these braids!! They looked like Chernobyl weeds! I had to use thick black yarn to supplement the pathetic strings of mane he had left because he didn’t have enough mane in a section to make a real braid.
BO got involved after Susie ran and complained to them. BO came up and tried to explain to me that Susie was just trying to be nice. Don’t care, don’t touch my horse!! GAH.
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I am another who would be livid and would have exploded. My horses have long manes and tails. I do not believe that pulling a mane does not hurt after seeing reactions from horses getting it done.
Yes to notices not touching or interfering with other people’s horses. This includes feeding carrots.
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Wow!
Nice with an attitude even.
People make mistakes. How they respond says a ton about them. Her response was 100% wrong.
The BO’s response was even more wrong.
It is scary that this BO thinks that this was OK and worth defending.
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Doing something nice would be offering to clean your tack. Or washing your windows. That was WAY overstepping boundaries that should not be crossed. It’s also a little creepy to me when people assume stuff like that is ok.
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We all had to learn at sometime where the line of ‘doing something nice’ crosses over into ‘should not do that’. We are not born with this knowledge. Add that line is different for lots of people. (Though generally speaking mane pulling is almost always a no.)
So though I would be VERY annoyed that someone did this for me, it could be easily forgiven if they took the instruction that this is a ‘do not do’ and apologized. Because sometimes our (general) effort to be nice is just wrong.
Where this person failed in the learning experience is being mad that their effort was wrong.
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Talk about a fauxpology! 
I could never, ever look at that person the same way again. I’m sorry that your BO didn’t make it more clear to her that that was unacceptable.
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My teeth ground a little when a read this. What a little wench.
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The BO trying to explain Susie was “just being nice” is a close second to how irritating Susie’s poor excuse for an apology is.
Not that this will probably go anywhere, but it’d be nice if she had a cat or a dog and you could say “okay, while you’re not around I’ll shave your dog without asking - it’s hot out, I’m just being nice!” Wouldn’t actually say it quite that way but in terms they could understand would be nice…since they clearly don’t get the boundary crossed as is.
Personally I’d have a real question in my mind about my trust in the BO if they can’t see your side at all.
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So, if this person pulled out a random horse and decided to put some training rides on it, just to help the owner, would this BO find that to be OK?
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EGADS is right! Absolutely never okay to alter someone else’s horse’s appearance without express permission, and TBH the BO’s response would have me looking for a new barn. If the BO is okay with THAT, what else are they letting other people do with my horse?? Nope.
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My reply to that would have been along the lines of “Gee, thanks so much, Suzy! I’d like to do something nice for you too. You look like you’re in need of a haircut. Have a seat right here and I’ll get my clippers.”
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I’d be pretty worried about the BO’s judgement at this point too. You can probably figure out a way to mostly avoid the boarder (I would never ever trust someone who doubled down on an error like that by giving you such an offensive non-apology again), but the BO would really concern me. I’d be thinking about whether my horse is safe there. It’s true that the mane-pulling is not a health concern but what other questionable decisions is she making then?
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