Quick question: if you have a client come barn shopping who requests confidentiality, do you tell people, including current BO, about client visiting your place?
No
When I was a barn manager, I don’t think I ever told anyone anything specific or identifiable about people barn shopping whether they asked for confidentiality or not.
Thanks Zu Zu.
Should I tell the BO I’m pretty unimpressed by her lack of professionalism? Or just let it lie? I’m pretty mad about it.
Let it go. The HO could have many different reasons for barn shopping.
Don’t follow. What do you mean by client, a student of yours? Is barn shopper looking to board or purchase the property?
Assuming you are saying that you went barn shopping, and asked the BO of new barn to keep it on the DL and she didn’t:
No, that is rude. Why would the BO be blabbing to other people about you anyways?
At least you hadn’t moved to the new place before you learned that the new BO is a gossipy type. Saved yourself some time on that one!
(Though, I’d not make a big deal about it, the horse world is small and who knows how big this person’s mouth is). Move on and keep shopping until you find a decent BO that knows how to keep her mouth shut.
JD: Thanks! Great advice. 
I would be annoyed but not surprised at all. Probably wouldn’t make a big deal, as others have said, but would strike that one off my list. Some people just plain have diarrhea of the mouth and can’t help themselves. Drives me insane.
[QUOTE=Come Shine;8740497]
Thanks Zu Zu.
Should I tell the BO I’m pretty unimpressed by her lack of professionalism? Or just let it lie? I’m pretty mad about it.[/QUOTE]
Let it lie.
Next time, be aware that people do talk to each other. Horse world is small. Your current BO and this other BO are probably acquaintance/friends.
Generally speaking, it’s not hard to know who board where and who just moved and why.
Does your current BO have strong ties to the new place’s BO? If yes don’t expect her loyalty to someone she just met to trump her loyalty to someone she’s (possibly) known and respected for a long time. This may not be your scenario, but when people say the horse world is small, this is what they mean.
I didn’t want it shared with current BO because she is a wonderful friend and I didn’t want to cause worry. It was a VERY preliminary look because I may get a new job and travel to my current barn would have been problematic. If I got the job, then I would have started looking openly at other places.
I even have it in writing that I asked the visit to remain in confidence and she agreed.
Ah well. Just sorry that the BO felt the need to tattle to my friend trumped her promise not to.
First, I’m sorry this happened -
Second - perhaps explain if current BO is a good friend - otherwise just forget it.
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Third ?
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GOOD LUCK ON THE NEW JOB PROSPECT !!!
Thanks Zu Zu!
Are you sure that it was the BO that told? If there was anyone there other than her, when you visited, it could have been them. Other boarders, barn help, feed delivery, farriers, and vets know EVERYTHING that goes on in the horse world around here. And most of them have absolutely no compunction about blabbing it to anyone who wants to listen.
In this case and because current BO is a very good friend, why didn’t you just be upfront in the first place. You could have told current BO, you might be in line for a new job which would require a move, sadly that would mean moving horse too. In the end the current BO might have helped with finding you the right place.
The BO of the barn you looked at might have wondered why the written requirement for confidentiality and thought it must be more than just I’m moving and don’t want friend BO to worry. That’s what I would have thought.
[QUOTE=js;8740621]
The BO of the barn you looked at might have wondered why the written requirement for confidentiality and thought it must be more than just I’m moving and don’t want friend BO to worry. That’s what I would have thought.[/QUOTE]
A confidentiality agreement to visit barns?
Maybe the BO wanted to know what the hell was going on with the OP and making sure not to get into some kind of drama.
OP, just be up front with your current BO and friend…
[QUOTE=alibi_18;8740654]
A confidentiality agreement to visit barns?
Maybe the BO wanted to know what the hell was going on with the OP and making sure not to get into some kind of drama.
OP, just be up front with your current BO and friend…[/QUOTE]
Absolutely! This sounds life cloak and dagger barn hunting.
If the BO is a good friend of OP then I would think that the BO may know about the possible new job but weird things can happen when a boarder - friends or not, mentions the possibility of having to leave a barn.
I can see where the OP may have wanted some sort of confidentiality agreement -we have no idea what sort of situation the OP is in - she might have a string of upper level competition horses - a boon to any new barn, a blow to current barn. Or OP may have had a prior experience (or known of others experience) which caused them to proceed with a new barn search more carefully.
Some people are also suspicious about talking about new jobs - the old “you’ll jinx it if you blab” scenario.
For whatever reason the OP wanted to be able to look for a potentially new barn under a confidentiality agreement - the prospective BO should have honored that period.
I’d keep my very good friend the current BO up to date on things in my life that may affect her business. Since she’s my very good friend, her response would be, “You can’t go!!!” and we’d clink wine glasses and hug. But since we are very good friends, she would totally understand the possible logistics regarding the possible new job and remaining at her barn.
