OP, sorry to hear you are going to have to move anyway. Hope you find a great place for your horse.
[QUOTE=SendenHorse;8744671]
As I mentioned I’d wait till I got a job offer before THINKING of moving, don’t jump the gun and rock the boat. [/QUOTE]
I think some job changes might not be a go if there is nowhere acceptable to move the horse to. I do not think it is wrong to want to know what your options are before you accept a new job. If board in the area of the new job is double what board is where you currently are then that small raise might not be such a good thing and it might be better to stay in the current job.
There is nothing evil about looking at boarding barns.
I’m curious about the Ivory Tower that ‘professionals’ supposedly work in.
To be completely honest, there is a fair amount of ‘gossip’ in my professional world. It’s a fairly small part of a larger community, and if someone changes jobs or is looking to change jobs, loses a contract, gains a contract, etc. word gets around. History & past performance come up, and while part may be personal curiosity, there is definite applicability to work at hand.
So no, I don’t hold the guy running a barn to higher standard than what I see in engineering.
[QUOTE=Come Shine;8743344]
Because there are a lot of wonderful, trustworthy, honorable people I’ve been lucky enough to know. There are a lot of great people out there.[/QUOTE]
I think I agree with this. I just don’t have the energy to be mistrustful of every one. I do take many things with a grain of salt, though. That doesn’t mean I don’t trust them, I just need to do my own homework is some cases.
And about half my close friends are horsepeople, and half are not. I don’t see any difference in them wrt whether or not I’d confide in them.
[QUOTE=Sparky;8745097]
Yes, to both. It’s called professional courtesy among BO’s.[/QUOTE]
part of being “professional” is well being professional. When a person asks of another to please keep this visit confidential - and they agree to it. Keep mouth shut. Period. It does not matter relationships, who the people are. Its an agreement made and the BO didn’t keep it.
Again, yes. I’ve been a barn owner in this are for 22 years. When someone approaches me from another barn about a visit to mine, the first thing I say is, “You must tell your BO about your plans, and I will be making a follow up call to them as well. Then, with all cards on the table,if you want to move forward, I’ll be happy to show you around.” It’s a courtesy that all of the BO’s I know extend to each other. No gossip involved.
sorry, this was in answer to post #60. I messed up on including the quote*
[QUOTE=gottagrey;8745729]
part of being “professional” is well being professional. When a person asks of another to please keep this visit confidential - and they agree to it. Keep mouth shut. Period. It does not matter relationships, who the people are. Its an agreement made and the BO didn’t keep it.[/QUOTE]
Completely agree. BO was asked,agreed, then didn’t do it. She lied. If I’d been asked, I’d have said no I don’t work like that. There has to be a pre visit dialog with your current barn owner, and preferably includes all 3 of us.
[QUOTE=trubandloki;8745205]
OP, sorry to hear you are going to have to move anyway. Hope you find a great place for your horse.
I think some job changes might not be a go if there is nowhere acceptable to move the horse to. I do not think it is wrong to want to know what your options are before you accept a new job. If board in the area of the new job is double what board is where you currently are then that small raise might not be such a good thing and it might be better to stay in the current job.
There is nothing evil about looking at boarding barns.[/QUOTE]
of course, but look the OP didn’t even want this job so it was all for nothing that she created all this drama.
I just have thought I had a job offer but it was only a casual offer and didn’t work out.
[QUOTE=Sparky;8746343]
Completely agree. BO was asked,agreed, then didn’t do it. She lied. If I’d been asked, I’d have said no I don’t work like that. There has to be a pre visit dialog with your current barn owner, and preferably includes all 3 of us.[/QUOTE]
Is this how you feel about looking for a new vet or farrier as well? Would you tell the farrier you are using now that you are shopping for a new farrier if you are not 100% sure you are moving on?
Where I choose to spend my money is my business and if I need to have a sit down with you and my BO to move to your barn, would make me keep looking. I no longer live at home and don’t need to be mothered by someone else. I am asking to come look at your barn not move in tomorrow.
Barn Owners have to under stand that they are running a business and if someone chooses to move to another barn then that is the horse owners business not the BO. End. Stop. This isn’t about hurt feelings it is about business.
[QUOTE=Sparky;8746343]
There has to be a pre visit dialog with your current barn owner, and preferably includes all 3 of us.[/QUOTE]
I can see the thread now. Posted by the horse owner’s current BO.
Why does my boarder think I am their friend and care about their life:
One of my boarders came to the barn tonight and told me this long winded story about how they were thinking of changing jobs and had gotten an offer for some new job in the next county over but they were not sure if they should take the job so they are weighing all their options before they decide. The decision is just so tough. One of the issues is proper stabling for Dobbin because if they took this job it would mean moving Dobbin, but they are not sure if they are going to take the job but before they can look at any stables in the town where this job is located I have to OK it with the barn owners in that area that they look at their stables. I like this boarder enough, they are no trouble and I am happy to have them in my barn but I do not care about their personal life and if they are thinking of moving that is fine, I have a proper notice in my boarding contract and they know this so why are they telling me they might look at a barn and why do I have to talk to the barn owners?
[QUOTE=Sparky;8746336]
Again, yes. I’ve been a barn owner in this are for 22 years. When someone approaches me from another barn about a visit to mine, the first thing I say is, “You must tell your BO about your plans, and I will be making a follow up call to them as well. Then, with all cards on the table,if you want to move forward, I’ll be happy to show you around.” It’s a courtesy that all of the BO’s I know extend to each other. No gossip involved.[/QUOTE]
Seriously???
[QUOTE=Sparky;8746343]
Completely agree. BO was asked,agreed, then didn’t do it. She lied. If I’d been asked, I’d have said no I don’t work like that. There has to be a pre visit dialog with your current barn owner, and preferably includes all 3 of us.[/QUOTE]
What? That’s the most ridiculous thing -sure I absolutely can see talking with a former BO for a reference but to include all 3 individuals. Ha I could see that with one of my former barn owners - nothing like a little heart to heart convo with her about my leaving after she’s downed 2 bottles of chardonnay for breakfast. And frankly in my barn searches, while my BO had serious issues, I certainly did not disclose that information in my search for a new barn.
One last thing–asking someone something in a quick email and then getting a casual response of “of course” isn’t the same as someone giving their word or shaking on a deal. The “of course” may easily have meant “of course you can see the farm.” In your mind there was a lot of emphasis on the confidential part, but most BOs would be more focused on the first part of that sentence.
Yes, you could fault the BO for not more carefully reading the email, but if I think that if you have a request that is important to you (and that is not the industry norm), the onus is on you to clarify that your specific need was understood and agreed upon. I think it is unfair to act like there was some kind of handshake or formal agreement that took place.
Just to give some perspective, I have people request to come see my facility all the time. I don’t keep track of the wording in their emails or details left in phone messages and when someone shows up I’ve typically forgotten if they have a gelding or a mare, etc. I would be taken aback if someone made a casual sounding request in an email and then accused me of breaking my word if I forgot about it.
If you are expecting confidentiality in a situation where confidentiality is definitely not the norm, then I think that you need to be a little more clear about that request.
When I saw the farm, the BO was very clear that it was a private visit. As I have never barn shopped, my impression from her was that keeping things private at a simple look-see were the norm, not the exception.
Had she hedged AT ALL about keeping it private, I would have told my BO. Honestly, it was a quick visit, I decided not to go there and never gave another thought to it until my current BO told me that the prospective BO had told everyone and their dog and that rumors were flying.
[QUOTE=Sparky;8746343]
Completely agree. BO was asked,agreed, then didn’t do it. She lied. If I’d been asked, I’d have said no I don’t work like that. There has to be a pre visit dialog with your current barn owner, and preferably includes all 3 of us.[/QUOTE]
Though that’s not my style- a bit off topic: my current company sends an email to your manager if you apply for an internal position. It is written to discuss with your manager prior to applying. I had a hiring manager tell one of my bosses I talked to her- not applied. Yeah- that went well- my manager was a nut. I just had a convo with my current boss “hey I may be looking at a position that’ll take me back to PA, I’ll keep you posted”.
