Removed as I can see it’s a losing proposition.
I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you. You must feel terribly disappointed. It sounds like there is a backstory between you, the seller, and the third party that you mentioned, which may have contributed to the seller’s decision not to place his or her horse with you.
Some buyers won’t listen when they are told the horse isn’t a good match and even try to get someone else to buy it for them to circumvent the owner’s wishes that the horse go to an appropriate home. Some times a white lie is the best way to go.
Perhaps I’m missing something obvious here…
But it is also possible that someone else already wrote the check for the horse. Lots of people act like they are very interested and serious about a horse and then never show up let alone write the check…
[QUOTE=lovebigmares;6980699]
This happened to me.
I inquired about a breeder’s sale horse. I was and am a very motivated buyer and really adored this horse. Our initial phone conversation went well and I was about to schedule a visit to try the horse. One day later the breeder emailed me to tell me the horse was getting sold. While this is possible, I don’t believe it. Certainly I will follow up to see if it gets sold soon.
I am quite upset about this because I wanted this horse, and also because my feelings are hurt. If you don’t want to sell a horse to someone, at least be honest about it. It would be nice to know why, too. It’s obvious to me that I was blackballed by someone. Why, I don’t know. As a seller, while it’s wise to investigate your potential buyers, maybe you should also not believe everything you hear and judge for yourself.
The seller and who I think ruined this sale for me both read here. You will recognize yourselves. You likely don’t care how I feel about this, but at least I got my vent out about it. Just know that you cannot control what happens to your horses once they are sold. They can continue to get sold on down the line, so hand picking the buyer doesn’t necessarily mean the horse will be with that person forever.
No names please.[/QUOTE]
It IS highly possible the breeder is being honest and the horse is being sold/vetted. 
I have found, since the economy crashed in 2008, there are SO MANY tire kickers lurking, emailing and calling. (Please note I am NOT saying you are a tire kicker) But as a result, breeders/sellers have had to learn to build up a thick skin and not get upset when umpteen excited people come along and yank their chain, never to be heard from again, or don’t call back until weeks or months later. As a result, experienced sellers and breeders start to learn who is serious and who isn’t.
As a side note, I don’t believe you can consider yourself a client of the breeder unless you have done business with them in the past. So, it’s not like they are turning down a past client. You were simply a potential, interested buyer. Last I checked, ANY seller is free to pick and choose who they want to sell their animals too.
You mentioned you were “about to schedule a visit”…and then the seller contacted you to let you know another buyer got their foot in the door. At least they had the decency to let you know, even though they hadn’t heard back from you. As a long time breeder and seller myself, I’m going to go with the first serious buyer that offers to vet, hand over money, etc. (as long as it is the right match between buyer/horse). In this economy, sellers cannot afford to wait and wait and wait for a buyer to make up their mind or rearrange their lives, if there are others eagerly waiting in the wings.
Another scenario…experienced sellers and breeders know when a match is going to work…and when it isn’t. Sometimes, it is extremely hard to tell a highly motivated buyer that the horse just isn’t the right match for them. Some sellers are not confrontational people and don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings…and some buyers just don’t want to hear it! So maybe it was just easier doing that than stating the truth (if that was the problem).
At the end of the day, if you did not voice your opinion in regards to leaving a deposit, asking for right of first refusal or scheduling a day to try the horse…all bets are off and that horse is a free agent until someone steps up to the plate!
I don’t want to make assumptions, but the fact that you felt it was OK to come on to a public bulletin board to whine and speak poorly about a breeder, regarding the unfairness of a deal that didn’t exist, makes me wonder if the seller’s warning bells went off and they decided they didn’t want any headaches or drama from a difficult buyer. Many of us can see those coming miles away. Sorry, just being honest. I’m sure a short email to the seller, expressing your opinion, would have been sufficient. If you know the seller frequents the COTH BB, then you also know that names ALWAYS come out on here! :rolleyes:
Such is life! Life isn’t always fair! Put your big girl panties on and move on!
Why not just act as if the breeder was telling the truth? It changes nothing of import, and you can go through your day feeling a bit better about the world, perhaps with a sense of, “darn” and “next time I’ll schedule the visit right away.”
Thank the breeder, congratulate her on her sale, and let her know that you’re still in the market and to contact you if if falls through.
Then, go back to your shopping.
There will be another horse to fall in love with.
The world is full of wonderful, wonderful horses. You’ll never know or own them all. Life is too short to stress about this.
This is an interesting first post. OP comes across as passive-aggressive, in that her post directly, yet indirectly, slams two supposed COTH members. Nothing quite like underhanded outing to initiate a train wreck! :lol:
(going to pop open a bottle of vino!)
[QUOTE=poltroon;6980818]
Why not just act as if the breeder was telling the truth? It changes nothing of import, and you can go through your day feeling a bit better about the world, perhaps with a sense of, “darn” and “next time I’ll schedule the visit right away.”
Thank the breeder, congratulate her on her sale, and let her know that you’re still in the market and to contact you if if falls through.
Then, go back to your shopping.
There will be another horse to fall in love with.
The world is full of wonderful, wonderful horses. You’ll never know or own them all. Life is too short to stress about this.[/QUOTE]
Good advice. :yes:
[QUOTE=lovebigmares;6980699]
Removed as I can see it’s a losing proposition.
Last edited by lovebigmares; May. 11, 2013 at 04:18 PM. Reason: No point.[/QUOTE]
Now it really comes across as passive-aggressive
Sorry things didn’t work out for you in regards this horse, but I just don’t see that a horse can’t quickly sell to another buyer …afterall it’s a bit obvious to claim a horse is sold & then continue to advertise …
OK. Someone please give me a clue. I missed the OP’s now removed post.
She wanted to look at a horse, but had not scheduled a time to do so, and now the horse has been sold? …and she is upset?.. and believes it is a conspiracy against her, by breeders who frequent COTH? 
[QUOTE=lovebigmares;6980699]
(quote deleted)[/QUOTE]
There you go!
Yikes!
Thanks Daventry.
OP you do seem a bit paranoid. Apparently the horse has been sold.
If you don’t believe that, and plan to stalk the horse and breeder to see if your suspicions are correct, you really need to take a deep breath. Try not to take it personally, and if that doesn’t help, find a good councilor to help you with your feelings.
Poltroon has given you great advice.There are plenty of horses out there.
[QUOTE=lovebigmares;6980699]
Removed as I can see it’s a losing proposition.[/QUOTE]
Your reason for removing your post was “no point”? What was your point? To tell people on coth what happened? You did, and they responded. Or was it to embarrass them? You didn’t get the “Yeah, Meanies fer sher” response so you took your toys and went home?
I agree with others - you hadn’t indicated to the seller you were serious (you said you had yet to schedule a visit) and the seller was kind enough to let you know she had someone else for the horse. Its too bad you didn’t respond as suggested and reply that you were sorry you missed the horse, congratulations on the sale, and to ask the breeder to let you know in the future if any of her very nice horses become available and wish her a great summer.
Would have made you look mature, reasonable and very much not what you say others are trying to make you out to be - an undesireable person to do business with. Instead, you reinforced an image of being someone to stay away from. Here. In public. On Coth - where people who know you frequent.
Smooth move.
And good luck horse hunting. I am sure you will find something very nice and have learned a lesson about being polite in the horse world.
I see there is lots of misunderstanding between these two people. Very sad when this happens. Horse world isn’t a happy place the way it used to be, isn’t it? I am glad I’m no longer part of it. I mean I was totally involved in horses during my young age but when I saw through the worst polities of the horse world (it can be anywhere) during my later years I decided to walk out and never looked back. I’m now in the medical field and loving every minute of it.
[QUOTE=Daventry;6980815]
It IS highly possible the breeder is being honest and the horse is being sold/vetted. I have found, since the economy crashed in 2008, there are SO MANY tire kickers lurking, emailing and calling. (Please note I am NOT saying you are a tire kicker) But as a result, breeders/sellers have had to learn to build up a thick skin and not get upset when umpteen excited people come along and yank their chain, never to be heard from again, or don’t call back until weeks or months later. As a result, experienced sellers and breeders start to learn who is serious and who isn’t.
As a side note, I don’t believe you can consider yourself a client of the breeder unless you have done business with them in the past. So, it’s not like they are turning down a past client. You were simply a potential, interested buyer. Last I checked, ANY seller is free to pick and choose who they want to sell their animals too.
You mentioned you were “about to schedule a visit”…and then the seller contacted you to let you know another buyer got their foot in the door. At least they had the decency to let you know, even though they hadn’t heard back from you. As a long time breeder and seller myself, I’m going to go with the first serious buyer that offers to vet, hand over money, etc. (as long as it is the right match between buyer/horse). In this economy, sellers cannot afford to wait and wait and wait for a buyer to make up their mind or rearrange their lives, if there are others eagerly waiting in the wings.
Another scenario…experienced sellers and breeders know when a match is going to work…and when it isn’t. Sometimes, it is extremely hard to tell a highly motivated buyer that the horse just isn’t the right match for them. Some sellers are not confrontational people and don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings…and some buyers just don’t want to hear it! So maybe it was just easier doing that than stating the truth (if that was the problem).
At the end of the day, if you did not voice your opinion in regards to leaving a deposit, asking for right of first refusal or scheduling a day to try the horse…all bets are off and that horse is a free agent until someone steps up to the plate!
I don’t want to make assumptions, but the fact that you felt it was OK to come on to a public bulletin board to whine and speak poorly about a breeder, regarding the unfairness of a deal that didn’t exist, makes me wonder if the seller’s warning bells went off and they decided they didn’t want any headaches or drama from a difficult buyer. Many of us can see those coming miles away. Sorry, just being honest. I’m sure a short email to the seller, expressing your opinion, would have been sufficient. If you know the seller frequents the COTH BB, then you also know that names ALWAYS come out on here! :rolleyes:
Such is life! Life isn’t always fair! Put your big girl panties on and move on! ;)[/QUOTE]
I have had this last year. A lot of conversation back and forth. This went on for almost about 2 months. Possible buyer is now upset with me and also the Person where foal is boarded. We had a serious buyer, who asked for a contract, I send it they signed paid and it was a done deal. Person A never even asked for a draft of contract let alone voiced I am very serious I am going to buy. Person A told us so, but we went through all emails and did not find anything that read close to a I buy Statement. I am very sorry, but I can not hold onto a horse just because someone asked a lot of questions about it. If buyer write something like I will let you know in two days but I need in advance info ABC, I am waiting for that and if someone else comes up in between, I try to hold that Person until first one decides if possible. I have held a horse for someone and ended up with no one buying. Sorry, but I can not afford that. Sorry for the OP. Speaking is essential and mostly situations are solved out easily.
I’m sure there were some panties in a twist when I bought Al. Different scenario being a CANTER horse, but I showed up with trailer in tow and cash in hand and the trainer had a list of 8 call backs.
[QUOTE=Eye in the Sky;6980838]
This is an interesting first post. OP comes across as passive-aggressive, in that her post directly, yet indirectly, slams two supposed COTH members. Nothing quite like underhanded outing to initiate a train wreck! :lol:
(going to pop open a bottle of vino!)[/QUOTE]
Somehow I doubt that this is truly his or her first post. The OP is most likely using an alter.
[B]
[QUOTE=Ambitious Kate;6981150]
Your reason for removing your post was “no point”? What was your point? To tell people on coth what happened? You did, and they responded. Or was it to embarrass them? You didn’t get the “Yeah, Meanies fer sher” response so you took your toys and went home? [/B]
I agree with others - you hadn’t indicated to the seller you were serious (you said you had yet to schedule a visit) and the seller was kind enough to let you know she had someone else for the horse. Its too bad you didn’t respond as suggested and reply that you were sorry you missed the horse, congratulations on the sale, and to ask the breeder to let you know in the future if any of her very nice horses become available and wish her a great summer.
Would have made you look mature, reasonable and very much not what you say others are trying to make you out to be - an undesireable person to do business with. Instead, you reinforced an image of being someone to stay away from. Here. In public. On Coth - where people who know you frequent.
Smooth move.
And good luck horse hunting. I am sure you will find something very nice and have learned a lesson about being polite in the horse world.[/QUOTE]
This. x 1,000:lol::yes:
[QUOTE=californianinkansas;6981366]
Somehow I doubt that this is truly his or her first post. The OP is most likely using an alter.[/QUOTE]
Other than “secret Santa” threads, there are very few (if any) instances where using an alter is anything but passive aggressive.
Horse buying and selling sure can bring out the worst in people. So stressful. Best to take a deep breath and move on, no matter if the horse was sold or not.
