Buyer & seller lingo and what it really means

[AmmyHour926]

Thought this would be humorous to put together a list of over used phrases in for sale and ISO ads plus what it really translates to.

I’ll give it a go!

Buyer:

“Can’t believe I still have this horse for sale” - read: he’s overpriced or failed 3 PPEs

“Need gone before X date” - read: if I can’t free up the stall we might have to get creative

“Serious UL type” - read: too quirky for an amateur, but this makes it sound athletic

“Back on the market or still on the market at no fault of their own” read: still overpriced or won’t vet

“Horses like this don’t come around often” read: also hot and quirky, but I have three of them in my barn I need to move

“Has some quirks and requires a tactful
Ride” read: is unsound

ISO

“Must pass a PPE” read: must not have the same exact specific issue that fluffy just had. Fluffy was just retired over an ankle issue, so anything we PPE will likely get an MRI off the rip.

“Easy on the ground” Read: I don’t like teaching horses manners, I prefer to feed carrots

“No OTTbs” Read: I can’t ride them OR my rich bern friends will judge me since I’m at a barn full
of imports.

“Brave to the fences”. Read: I need a Seeing eye horse and emotional support horse in one.

“Will have a forever home” - Read: IF fluffy is useful to me, otherwise I will likely rehome.

“No maintenance” - Read: I don’t budget for this monthly.

I know there are TONS more! Let’s see them

[amymoyer1]

16.3hands= 15.2 at best.
Quiet = hasn’t turned into a fire breathing dragon when it’s 80+ degrees out
Intermediate level rider needed = better bring the super glue.

[cattywampus]

Clean slate, ready to start your way = I picked this horse up as a yearling 15 years ago and never got around to training it

Could go any direction= has no real job skills, and I don’t know what to do with him, but maybe you’ll have better luck

Possible trade for kid-safe, sound horse over 14 hands = this horse is neither safe nor sound, and is only 30" tall

Would excel as a jumper = I can’t keep this thing in the pasture, and also have a grainy picture of it being chased over a pole balanced between the arena rail and a barrel

[showy]

“Thrives in a professional program” = will murder you if you skip a weekend

[Cowboy_Girl]

“In your pocket personality” = no ground manners, noses/nips for cookies and peppermints, requires grain/cookie bribery to stand still for anything or to load in a trailer.

[cattywampus]

Some maintenance= comes with its own pharmacy and I honestly don’t know how this creature is still walking

Needs a more experienced rider to reach his potential= someone buy this horse before it kills me

I’ve decided to go in another direction = as far and as fast as I can before he kills me

Easy keeper = gets laminitis if he looks at a blade of grass

Good for a handy child or small adult = your kids better have good health insurance

More go than whoa = has no brakes

More whoa than go = I work harder than this horse every time I ride and I’m over it

[luvmyhackney]

Can be hard to catch- current owner has never caught them and over it.

[SusanO]

Awesome personality - never been broken to saddle but is really friendly in the pasture when you bring supper

Snuggly - mugs like crazy trying to find a treat and likes to rub its sweaty head all over you post ride

Barn favorite - my favorite horse in the barn cuz I own it

[KBC]

Has seen hounds.

The hunt came past one day,when he was in turnout, and he had a 2 hour hissy fit and came in a lathered mess.

[endlessclimb]

NO spook - I should buy a dirtbike.

[Xanthoria]

No buck, bolt, rear = …but will pronk, spin and drop you like a hot brick because it saw a butterfly.

Wears front shoes only = … because it kicks like a motherfluffer.

Not marish = just mare. Through and through. No “ish” about it.

[2bayboys]

Not fancy broke - does not steer

Needs to be restarted - bucked off the last three people who tried to ride it

Needs his own person - and I, his owner, am NOT that person

Casually selling - I will waste your time letting you try the horse and talking for weeks about it and then decide I don’t want to let him go

Casually ISO - I will waste your time talking/messaging about your horse for weeks when I don’t have a dime to buy anything

[cattywampus]

Prefers arena work to trails = or at least you can catch her again when she bolts and dumps you in the arena

Has been a great horse for the kids and now ready for his retirement home = just not on MY dime

Would make a fantastic dressage horse= looks pretty fancy trotting off in the distance when I go to catch him and can’t jump his way out of a paper bag, so…

[AmmyHour926]

@2bayboys

Casually ISO - I will waste your time talking/messaging about your horse for weeks when I don’t have a dime to buy anything

THIS. If you are casually ISO, just don’t be. Wastes everyones time.

[MorganMaresVT]

@AmmyHour926

Must pass a PPE” read: must not have the same exact specific issue that fluffy just had. Fluffy was just retired over an ankle insure so anything we PPE will likely get an MRI off the rip.

Haha, I’m really guilty of this one, but my issue is horses with metabolic problems (IR/EMS, PPID). Given my setup, I just can’t have any more of those. Fascinating how many sellers can look at the chunky monkey with an obvious cresty neck and say, “no, we don’t have any issues like this with Fluffy-she’s definitely never had laminitis…” I just can’t buy without metabolic bloodwork now and have walked away from off-the-charts insulin numbers.

[chestnutmarebeware]

@AmmyHour926

“Has some quirks and requires a tactful
Ride”

To me this one has always meant “He’s great, as long as you never take contact with his mouth, touch him with your legs, or move an inch in the saddle.”

[SillyHorse]

@cattywampus

Clean slate, ready to start your way = I picked this horse up as a yearling 15 years ago and never got around to training it
.
.
.
Some maintenance= comes with its own pharmacy and I honestly don’t know how this creature is still walking

Just the best!

[Renn_aissance]

“17hh” = 16.2

“16.2” = 15.3

“16hh” = 15.2

“15.3 7/8” = 15.2

“15.2” = 14.3

“14.2” = 14.3

[Paisley_Pony]

Thank you! I literally have tears in my eyes!

[walktrot]

Bomb proof for kids. They bounce much better than adults.