I will offer pets, brushing, and pony rides on my old man to people who 1) I like and 2) have kids. I’m always trying to feed the habit where I can, and I think more kids need to get into horses.
People I don’t like? I don’t offer and if they ask I’m always busy.
Blame it on your insurance company. “No, my liability insurance does not allow (insert whatever)” is a phrase I use frequently. I have minis and the barn/paddock is close to the road, everyone sees them and everyone wants their kid to have a pony ride. Unfortunately, nobody gets one. I used to be nice about it but after finding evidence of people being in my barn (and sometimes people making themselves at home in my barn) I put my foot down.
I feel being asked to ride (or drive) my horses is like someone saying “I’m going to sleep with your husband, OK?”
And by the way, I don’t let people borrow my cars, either.
Rebecca
In addition to the random people asking “can you teach me to ride?” “Can I ride your horse?” (PS if anyone has been on any dating apps and used a picture with a horse… this gets asked a lot. If you were wondering), I have never understood the people who are comfortable just walking into a barn or stable and wandering around. I am a barn manager/riding instructor which means I actually know my way around a barn, and yet I had to go to someone else’s barn the other day to pick something up that was left for me and felt SO AWKWARD looking around trying to find the item because there was no one around.
The barn I work at is located at the back of a neighborhood and we get people riding their bikes or walking around pretty frequently. This is fine (although not my favorite to have random people wandering through the barn) as long as we are around! I am at the barn 6 days a week, 10-12 hours per day. However, last summer a man and his young daughter showed up at about 6:00 on a Saturday, which is late since Saturday tends to be an earlier day for us. I had never seen these two people in my life, but they had obviously come around frequently because the girl, who couldn’t have been more than 4, knew that one of the horses had moved stalls. She recognized the name on the stall card and the horse and said “oh so and so is in a big stall today!” I politely told them we were closed and they needed to not be in the barn when no one was around, but I just can’t even imagine being ok with wandering around someone’s property, especially with animals on the property!
When I moved here four years ago a neighbor came up all friendly and said “my daughters would just LOVE to come and ride your horses!” I’d never even seen her before.
I told her they weren’t the kind of horses kids could ride. “And you have plenty of land to get horses for them at home if they’re that interested”. She looked at me and said “They’re so expensive and too much work “.
Oh well. She’s never spoken to me again.
How about this one?
Can I borrow one of your horses ?
So my daughter and I can trailer to the woods to ride together while she is in town.
So my child who is taking lessons can ride in a show.
To ride in next week’s hunt since my horse is lame.
To use in a lesson.
Been asked these and more. I have occasionally offered a horse loan to special folks in special circumstances, but these were out of the blue.
But… You didn’t shut down the Spousal Borrow request?
KIDDING! 
@Blueeyedroan I’m gonna be the fogey & hope your jaybird SM post wasn’t Public.
The interwebz are full of Creepers 
How I’ve always handled the Ride Your Horse requests:
(with my saint of a TB & now my TWH)
*Anyone I don’t know well or like: NO
*Anyone I like, with zero horse experience, gets a Ponyride, on a leadline.
Usually a walk is enough, trot guarantees a plea for Not so Faaaaast! 
*Kids get the leadline, only with a Sidewalker.
(for most, just sitting on a real, live horse is enough).
My greatgrands on a visit 6yrs ago w/the Walker:
I used to get asked all the time. Then I posted a video of my pony in his road pony gloriousness and now no one wants their kids to ride my speed demon who is actually amazing with kids. He does a cute little jog and crazy safe.
I always say no due to liability and I don’t carry the proper insurance for my big horses.
We gave kids we were very fond of pony rides on Salt (large pony) and Sassy (Paint). Always with a leadline and no bridle. DH put a very small child on Crackers’ (Hackney pony) back once. I was not thrilled. While Crackers had great ground manners, I had no idea what he would do with a kid on his back. Due to his size, no one rode him.
The day I went to try him and drove him in an arena, the owner’s barn guy had plopped my then ten year old kid on him after we unhooked the cart. He was leading them around. I had no idea if that was safe or not, but the owner never reacted at all, so maybe it was something they’d done before with no bad consequences. But we certainly didn’t do that, so I wasn’t thrilled when I found out Crackers had given a pony ride.
When my kid was still riding, she had her first boyfriend over and asked if they could ride. DH said yes; I was out with Crackers when this conversation took place. I was not happy when I saw this kid riding Sassy. He rode like a sack of potatoes. Poor Sassy. At least he was light–typical freshman in high school string bean.
This was during the time that Salt was actively trying to kill my kid. I couldn’t believe DH let them just go off together. At least our daughter had the discernment to see what a lousy rider the boyfriend was, and she kept them on our property. Luckily Salt wasn’t feeling evil that day, and he behaved.
She ended up breaking up with the kid shortly afterward. She made some comment about him riding like a sack of potatoes. I just laughed.
Rebecca
This, 100%
No is a complete sentence, it’s true, but a lot of people don’t respect no. Blame insurance. Even if it’s not true, even if you’ve never talked about it with your insurance, even if you don’t even know what your insurance does/doesn’t cover - just blame insurance. It’s the equestrian version of “sorry my parents would be furious with me if I-” from childhood, and it works very well.
“My liability insurance does not cover anyone else riding my horses, therefore I am unable to allow others to ride.” Is it true? who knows! Have you ever investigated it? who cares! Most people are happy to agree with demonizing insurance, it’s insurance’s fault they can’t have a good time, not yours.
Just say NO. Full stop. Do you let just anybody drive your car or take food out of your mouth? Your horses are YOURS - nobody else’s. You don’t owe the world anything on this, no matter how cool your social media is (and now I want to follow you haha!). Is it friends & family or strangers on the internet? Same concept though goes for anybody no matter what category they are in - you have the right to say no.
We have 3 working cow horses, 1 retired, and my young TB jumper. We have a social media presence for the cow ranch and get the “can I ride your horses” comments a lot too. We just say no - they are working horses and the liability is too high, thus they are not available to the public.
Yeah big nope on that one . That’s the last thing you need
When random clueless people ask, I become very animated and with a smile, friendly like, tell them to ride properly and so we don’t hurt horses you have to first learn and where to go, several places set up with horses trained to teach people to ride.
When I am thru, without having directly said no, people have decided that is more trouble than is worth and don’t ask again. 
I am another person who uses my insurance as an excuse. “Oh, I am so sorry, my insurance does not cover that.”
Then I give them the name of some lesson places.
Many many years back when I boarded and I had an appropriate horse I did have some of the people from work come out with their kids to do pony rides. It was funny. The one lady could not stop complaining that it was dirty there (in the barn aisle, in the indoor ring). Um. Yes, it is a barn with large hairy critters living in it, there is some dirt involved.
Over the years since we do live in the middle of a few million people there will be the person who asks, we just say No without a reason then they leave, But it is very rare for any one to ask. (I guess it helps when there is a large German Shepherd dog setting at your feet who is looking into the eyes of person asking)
We have thousands of people walk by our place as there is a public sidewalk and four schools within a mile, we are centered between two elementary and one middle school, the fourth school is just over there out of the way.
As a suggestion from our insurance providers when we first move here in the 1980s we double fenced the common sides of property which provides separation and a run for the patrol dogs to work.
The Great Pyrenees who is larger than one of the miniature horses and often is mistake for the small gelding, she barks at anything that moves and that sidewalk she believes is within her territory to defend.
IME, horses can be incredibly tolerant with kids.
My experiences:
1-my TB, who could be reactive because: TB.
Coworker came to the barn we boarded with his 3yo daughter.
DH & I were riding in the indoor & I put her up in front of me for a Ponyride.
She kept saying Faster! So I had him trot.
Which produced giggles & again Faster!!
So I threw caution to the winds & cantered him slowly.
Despite the high-pitched squeals of glee coming from his back, horse never sped up & positively loped
2-different barn, boarder with a big (16h) TWH, puts her 2yo grandkid on his back AND TURNS HORSE LOOSE in the indoor. Kid is fine at the walk, then horse starts gaiting & kid SCREAMS for granny.
That saint of a horse slowed & stopped, standing until Grandma of the Year could get to him & remove now-wailing kid.
The Horse God of Idjits works OT 
There has been at least one thread that contained the most hilarious responses to requests like this—basically many “Of course! Which hospital is in-network for your insurance?” types of replies.
I’ll have to see if I can find it.
Once helping our neighbor drive some cattle, we were coming back to headquarters and one of his grandkids, 4 years old, was tired and kept falling asleep in the saddle.
We watched the super nice ranch gelding scoot over low and, like you do shoving a back pack, get the kid centered when it leaned in his sleep one way or another, time after time.
That was another saintly horse, deserving all the hugs it got. 
This one’s from 2009:
I think this one from 2012 is what I was remembering:
I’ve never had anyone ask to ride one of mine. Wonder if it’s because I’m a guy?
The answer would be “No” in any event.
OTOH, most anybody is welcome to interact with them; My 17hh TB gelding “Oily” (RIP big boy) absolutely loved little kids, and George just likes people in general.
A foto just for fun: George at liberty in his pasture, visiting with a neighbors little girls. “My, don’t they look tasty . . .” :-D.
By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You may also receive promotional emails from The Chronicle of the Horse. You can opt out at any time.
For Customers
Company
Terms of Use
