I don’t let anyone ride mine anymore unless they’re the people I claim and can put up with.
The whole Problem Boarder issue started with “just letting Kid get saddle time since her previous barn didn’t work out after 2 years” Yeah maybe Kid not listening to a damn thing anyone says is why y’all had to leave. Grr. THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN!
I get asked and the general answer is no, my horses aren’t suitable, here is a number for a place that does guided trail rides.
My current 2 are a 15.1H OTTB mare and a 14H TWH. The TB I won’t let others ride - she can buck hard and spook fast. These don’t happen often, but it’s not worth the risk.
My TWH I have loaned out to a friend and really don’t have an issue if an experienced friend wants to ride. She is a little quirky on the ground which tends to scare people off, but she is a fun ride and is seriously incapable of bucking - watching her try in pasture is funny and a little sad. In the summer of 2020 a good friend of mine was between trail horses so we had a lot of fun with her riding the walker and I offered the walker to another friend last summer for a few rides, but they didn’t take me up on it.
It was very public haha! I’m a pretty hefty girl… little bit CHONKY. If anyone wants to be obsessed with my large, white, jiggly rear end i’ll take it as a compliment. I have very little shame, if any LOL.
Until recently I had a 6 year old step-daughter with no riding experience. I would bring her out and put her on my Roan, and knew with utmost confidence that the child was safe. Not on a leadline, I set them loose in the arena and she would toodle around for 2 hours while I got some sun and relaxed. Set up a barrel pattern and some ground poles - hours of child entertainment.
But that was MY CHOICE, with a child I knew very well.
“Sorry. I don’t have appropriate insurance for you, for me, or for my horse”
Marvellous thing, insurance.
my daughter used several of our horses for teaching young riders, often you could see the horse sidestep to re-center the kid back into the proper position
My first and only time on Tinder, I used a pic of me on my dressage horse. Gotta weed them out early, like.
I matched within minutes with a local bloke whose picture was of a nice paint horse. “Great!” thinks I.
The conversation went something like this:
Hi
Hi
Nice horse
Thanks! you too. Paint?
You do reverse cowgirl?
block
Deleted Tinder after that.
I’ve been asked more times then I can count. One co-worker told me he was coming over to ride my horse - notice the told me. I said great! While you’re riding, I’ll take your car out for spin (he just bought a new corvette) Never told me again.
I never have this issue – but I realized, I never tell people I have a horse. I wonder if some of this aggravation could be avoided by not bringing up in casual conversation you’re into horses?
ETA: On the few occasions it’s come up unavoidably that I own a horse, I’ve always welcomed people to come meet them. I do think more people could stand to get into the hobby.
I get asked all the time and I’m very happy to take people out riding, esp because I have 5 horses and am always riding by myself. 99% of the people that say they want to ride with are full of hot air. I always say sure, just let me know when you want to go and literally no one ever takes me up on it
Don’t ever let saying no make you feel cranky or like a bad person, or feel guilty or whatever. You don’t need to offer explanations or excuses to anyone. Just politely decline. Nothing further is needed. The older you get, the less you try to please people because you can’t and they really tend not to appreciate it all that much anyhow. They are responsible for creating their own adventures, not you. Being a good person does not equate with saying yes to everyone.
I think I would respond “no, thank you.” As if they asked if you wanted them to do it. LOL.
“Can you take me riding?”
“No thank you.”
“Oh, no - I meant, I would like to ride, and maybe would take me along?”
“I know what you meant. No, thanks. I don’t need riding companions.”
“I mean, I want to ride.”
“Yes, I get it. No.”
I didn’t have people who wanted to ride my horses as much as they wanted to board their horses at my barn.
“No thank you. I don’t need boarders.”
[Why on earth would you think I would want to take care of your horse in addition to my own?]
People never ask me and I’ve actually made offers to people I know who ride.
People don’t ask me all that much.
I actually really love sharing horses with people. I kind of wish they would ask me more sometimes. But I do have different responses to the OP’s 3 categories:
Category #1: The clueless “I’ve always wanted to gallop a horse” crowd-- this is a hard no. I’ll often offer, “if you want to come learn to ride, I’m more than happy to let you get on my horse and I’ll give you a basic lesson.” If they take me up on it, great! If they still insist they want to go yahoo about, then we are back to a hard no. They usually give up pretty quickly because I just end the conversation after I tell them my horses would literally kill them if they tried.
Category #2: “Can my kids ride your horses?” Yes yes yes a million times yes! I don’t have school mounts, so it will probably just be a pony ride, but as long as you aren’t looking for a law suit, I will make something happen for your kids. I love introducing kids to horses.
Category #3: “I already know how to ride can I please ride yours?” Eh, this is the group I’m oddly most likely to say no to unless I know the person and their riding ability well. It’s not that I don’t want to share, but this is the category I’ve consistently had the most incidents with because people’s experiences are so variable. And again, I don’t have appropriate school horses to to boost confidence or fitness.
If we want the general public to stop asking us stupid questions about our horses, we have to expose the general public to horses. 
I don’t let people ride my horses, either, but I sort of get it. If you don’t know about horses, you don’t know. Like, I’d love to ask friends who sew to teach me how, or someone who, say, does rock climbing to tag along. No, I won’t ask because I know it’s annoying, but there is a pull there when you know people who do something you want to do.
I find it MUCH worse when you have a horse for sale and someone says all the right things (I’m a trainer, I broke TBs for years) that come out to give your horse a test ride and don’t know how to ride at all. I just had two of these in the last two weeks and I had to pull them off my horse. Ugh. (One, the “trainer” said she previously had a 21 and a half HH horse [21 and half an inch? 21 plus two inches?]…okay, you can leave now. 
I almost asked about the Guinness world record certificate, haha.)
Telling them your insurance wont cover them/their kid is not a lie. You are liable if they come off and get hurt. Whether you have insurance or not. So just tell them the truth, you do not want to be liable for any injuries and accidents around horses are common. Just say no.
Oh…those equine liability signs in many states do not protect everybody in all situations, they can claim negligence or lack of foresight on your part for over mounting them/their kid.
Man all these people looking for legit riding buddies, why are you not closer?!?? All the people I know (and I’m admittedly a bit of a hermit) are wimps and not fun to ride with.
Let’s go long trot for dayssss
And more fun threads on the topic:
And this one:
And the Craigslist Ad:
I do not ever bring up my horse in casual conversations.
I do have a photo of my horse on my desk (along with a photo of my dog and Mr. Trub).
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